Dressing Wounds
by Personification of Fluff
Summary: SM [completed] Rated R for citrusy situations When Sango finds out how much Miroku cares for her, it's the battle of the sexes! The prize? Sango's heart, of course. Fluff-filled chapters, and an attempt to break every cliche and fill each plothole!
1. Touching

Dressing Wounds

**Rating:** It's rated R, mes amis, because of a sudden appearance of citrus content during the rough drafts.  I don't know where it came from, but it's there.  If anyone's expecting a lemon… You don't even want me to try. It would be far too pathetic.

**Disclaimer:**  I already owe three grand to the government in loans for university.  Do you really think that I would have to pay that if I owned Inuyasha, or for that matter, any if Rumiko Takahashis's works?  In case anybody is stoned out of their gourds, the answer is: I don't own Inuyasha.  The point?  I wouldn't need to own Inuyasha.  Just have a fling with him.  I could get to like a guy who nibbles. ^_^

**AN:**  There's no enough Sango and Miroku fics out there.  So, here's another one. My goal is to toy with every single cliché Sango and Miroku belief and fix up every single plot hole in their relationship until it as hard as… er, cement!  The problem?  I need more clichés and plot holes!!  (I love you, Mybyrdy!  I know that you already gave me some great ones! ^_^)  So, PLEASE, SEND me SUGGESTIONS!  I will work in as many as I can while still trying to keep the same tone throughout the whole story.  

I know that their relationship has began to grow rapidly, but sadly, I haven't bought any issue farther than number 4.  (Must save money till anime con….)  Therefore, this happens before that certain event that made all us Sango and Miroku fans jump up and down in victory.  Eventually, hopefully, if I can get enough SUGGESTIONS to keep it going, I will be able to expand past that to give their relationship even more development.

Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter One: Touching

            "Inuyasha!" screamed Kagome as she clenched her fists.  She let out a grunt of rage as she tried to keep herself from screaming 'sit'.  How come he had to be so obstinate?  "You always have to end up getting injured and then saving me, don't you?"

            The silver haired half-demon merely gave a grunt himself and hunched his shoulders a little.  "Well, it's not like you're going to save yourself."  Even Inuyasha was aware of the anger blazing from Kagome's brown eyes at this statement.  His gold eyes automatically widened as he suddenly feared for his body.  She was going to scream _it_, wasn't she?  He immediately reacted by trying to amend his mistake. "What I meant to say is…."

            Sango rolled her eyes as she turned away from the fighting pair.  Miroku caught her unusual action and smiled a little, making her blush.  Her blush wasn't just because she had gotten caught without her usual calm face on, but that she liked the small –unperverted- tokens she received from the handsome monk.

            "Want to head back to camp?" he asked with the tone of his normal voice, showing none of the pain from the deep gashes hidden under the heavy fabric of his dark robes.  Miroku felt proud when Sango nodded.  He was getting much better at understanding her.

            "Dressing your wounds sounds a lot more entertaining," Sango agreed as they began to walk away from Inuyasha and Kagome.  Without thinking, she raised one of her hands and placed it between his shoulder blades.  Her fingers at first rested gently on the fabric, and then she pressed against it as she would if she were shaking his hand, leading him to their camp.  She could feel the muscles underneath his hand, feel them tighten and shift as Miroku…. 

            "You know, that's the second time you've done that," he said, turning enough to face her.  "The first time you placed your hand there was after I was injured during the fight with Kageromaru and Juromaru."

            Sango tried to remember.  She recalled the fight with the two demons, but had she actually touched Miroku the way she was now?  Suddenly feeling very guilty and realizing that she still had her hand on his back, she removed it and clasped her hands together over her _yukata_.  Her voice was very soft as they neared the camp.  She didn't want to wake Shippo, who had slept throughout the sudden fight, with Kirara watching over him.  "You seem to have a good memory of that sort of thing."

            The monk smiled as he slowly bent to gather the supplies she would need with his wounded hand, holding the largest gash in his arm, his fingers sticky with his blood.  "You sound as if you're surprised."

            Glancing at Shippo, she found he was still asleep, and it was safe to answer.  She unfurled his bedroll for him and sat upon it, waiting for him to bring Kagome's futuristic healing equipment.  She couldn't help but notice the sudden color that flew to his face when he turned around and saw her kneeling quietly on his bedroll.  "I've heard the stories from when we visit the bath houses in the towns you've visited before.  Women can be quite the gossips.  I'd imagine that men are too."

            "Perhaps," he chuckled.  He handed her the box and sat down beside her, watching her closely.  The only sign he could find that she was aware of his staring was the way that she kept her focus closely on the first aid kit.  "I don't see, Sango, how bath house gossip is related to you being surprised that I can remember things.  What type of stuff do they say about me?"

            "Oh, like I'm actually going to try and fuel that narcissistic nature of yours," Sango snapped with a hint of amusement in her voice.  "Will you take off your robes already so that I can clean your cuts?"  Miroku, of course, decided to be a pest and did nothing.  Not stupid enough to actually threaten to take them off for him, she sighed.  "They say that you're good looking, debate whether or not your lecherous nature is a blessing or a curse, and discuss…. Discusss…."  

Sango yelled at herself for being so nervous when he came to sex.  Sex was a part of life, after all, just like death.  Thinking about it, discussing it, telling people how babies were born, it was natural to her, just as it would be if she were describing the aspects of death.  She didn't need to like the topics, but she needed to be able to accept them.  So why was she having such a hard time telling Miroku about it?

            'The jerk will probably accuse me of being a pervert if I say it easily,' she reminded herself.  He wouldn't be able to say anything at all if she didn't say what was on her mind. 

            "They discuss how you are in bed.  Sexually, I mean, the few women in each village you somehow manage to share a mat with for the night.  Let's face it, Miroku.  You're not actually the most… virginal of men."  Sango, right from the start, had taken her eyes off the box to look at him in his face, not the least bit ashamed of the topic of conversation once she was logical about it.  Sango sometimes wondered if she was too logical.  Miroku's face revealed nothing.  "With all the women it seems you've shared a bed with, I merely find it odd that you remember something as simple as the first time I touched your back.  Can you actually say the same for all the other women you tried to impregnate, either through asking them or intercourse?"

            Finally, Miroku smiled nervously, his laughter just as awkward.  That alone startled Sango.  Miroku?  Nervous from talking about sex?  She'd thought it was impossible!  "You're right, of course.  I can't remember every woman I've ever slept with, although if I think about I long enough, I remember something special about them: a laugh, a scent, an unusual name… except for the ones I really like."

            As he spoke he began to untie his robes to allow Sango the access she sought.  "For instance, the first girl I ever made love to.  She was quite beautiful.  Came up to my chin.  Her nails were short because she used to chew them when she got nervous.  Her laugh was so sweet it was like she had never seen a day of hardship in her life, even though her skin was deeply tanned from work and she would probably be as strong as you, if she were alive today.  She died when demons attacked her village."

            Sango had been entranced by the sentimentality of his words.  She had been able to feel how much he had cared for her in his words.  Far from being jealous, she wished that the girl had never died.  Miroku had obviously cared for her.  "I'm sorry."

            "Don't be.  You couldn't have stopped it, nor were you the cause."  He lifted the rest of his robes over his head, glad the fire was close so that it could warm his skin.  His view was marred by this action, allowing Sango's eyes to slip down and up his body.

            She dipped the cotton ball in the sterilizer Kagome had brought and took on his arms.  The limb was hard under her hands.  She saw Miroku wince already as she brought the swab near, and she gave him a sympathetic look.  "I know.  I hate this part as well."

            "It's not so bad when you do it.  Inuyasha had to clean them once, and he was… shit!"  Miroku swore only once and then craned his neck to watch Sango work.  He pursed his lips.  "I forgot how much that hurt.  Anyway, with you, you come up to here.  You never seem to get nervous.  I can recall the first time I held your hand, the first time I asked you to bear my children –and never got to finish- first time you touched my back, the first time I saw you blush, and many other things."

            Sango merely glanced up as she began to clean another wound, making Miroku nervous.  "I mean, it's not like I'm a stalker or anything!" he quickly protested, fearing she thought the worst.  "I can't help it.  I mean, I want to remember things, and then I do, but it's not like… what I mean to say is…."

            Bringing down the swab, she lifted her head from inspecting his cuts and looked at his face.  "You said it only happens with girls that you like.  That's enough of an explanation.  I'm not stupid.  I know you like me.  That's why you haven't been hitting on any other women.  I do notice these things, even if I don't act like I do."

            He opened his mouth to give her a suave answer, but changed his mind.  Instead, he smiled, letting her go back to her work, if only for a moment.  "So, what do these girls say about me as a lover?"

            She had to try infinitely hard not to deck him for actually being so rude and egotistical as to ask her that!  She felt proud of herself when she refrained, and picked up the gauze and the Band-Aids.  Sango worked quickly and effectively, though tonight she was slower than normal.  Sango had no business in looking at men.  She was a demon slayer.  That was all she wanted to be, why she had trained so hard to be one of the best in the world.  It had taken years of constant working long hours, bruises, broken bones, aches and pains and hundred of other obstacles.  She wasn't going to give it up just because some guy showed up and refused to let her get out of his grasp.  Lately, however, when she found herself bandaging his wounds or watching him sleep, that she began to wonder what it would feel like to lean against his chest or rest her head on one of his arms.

            "You know, I even remember each and every time I manage to do this," Miroku sighed, looking concentrated.

            Snapping out of her thoughts, she realized that he was groping her again.  With a small growl she hit him and finished bandaging his wounds as he rubbed his cheek.  Sango slammed the first aid kit shut.  "There.  Goodnight."  She stood to leave, muttering about perverts under her breath.

            Rather than leave, she spun back around, and decided to confront him about it once and for all.  "Will you please stop doing that?  I don't care if you claim to have a hand that's possessed and that it's out of your control, it greatly disturbs me and I want you to stop right now.  I don't know what's worse.  Your groping or how you actually seem to like it that I hit you afterwards," she mumbled.

            Miroku gave her an impossibly mischievous grin.  "Nope.  I won't stop, not until you tell me why.  Not why you don't like me groping you, Sango.  Given Kagome's reaction I've concluded that not all girls like it, and from rare visits to villages, I know I haven't lost my touch.  I meant why my touching you at all disturbs you.  You haven't even asked me to bind your wound for you."  He gestured to her shoulder.  "There's no way you could bind that yourself, surely."

            "I'm going to wait for Kagome.  It wouldn't be proper for you to see me in that state of undress."

            "Kagome might be awhile." They stared at each other, and Miroku soon proved to have the upper hand.  He crossed his arms, still grinning.  "I won't stop until you tell me, Sango.  And let me help with your wound.  The last thing we need is to have a demon smell the scent of blood from an innocent maiden slayer such as yourself and come looking for us.  We've already gotten in one fight tonight."

            Grumpily, she sat back down and began to undo her yukata.  She stopped, noticing that Miroku was staring, and spun around so that he would only be able to see her back.  She stared at him over her shoulder.  "None of that perverted stuff?"

            "I swear on Buddha."  Miroku raised a hand.  When Sango shot him one of her demon-frightening glares, Miroku changed his oath.  Of course Sango wouldn't accept on oath on Buddha when Miroku liked sake and women.  "I swear on Kohaku."

            That appeased her and she let the top of her yukata open to reveal the wound.  Her demon slayer outfit wasn't on, as they had been going to bed when the demon attacked.  Sango found the armor far too uncomfortable to sleep on, although technically she was supposed to be able to live in it and not complain.  She waited for the sting of the antiseptic and instead felt a warm finger run over the large scar on her back.

            "Miroku!"

            "This isn't perverted!"  He removed his hand and reopened the container.  "So, why do you have this thing with not being touched?  I touched your face, and… I touch your back and you yell at me.  Why do you react that way?"

            She was going to respond with 'who knows' but the way he gently moved her ponytail to the side made her remember that Miroku wasn't always a pervert.  He could be quite sweet at times.  "I guess there are a number of reasons," she answered.  "Mostly, it's highly distracting.  I can't be going into a fight with this worry that in the middle of the fight you're going to try and grope me.  When I'm not concentrating on fighting, I need to keep an eye on our surroundings, and prepare myself for the next time that I see Kohaku, so I can try and come up with a way to save him."

            He paused in cleaning her wound to think about her comment.  He had never considered that before.  Sango liked to be as aware of her surroundings as Inuyasha was, but she didn't have demonically enhanced senses, so she had to concentrate even more than Inuyasha.  Miroku picked up the Band-Aid and gently placed it over the cut in her shoulder.  "I always thought it was because you were shy.  Whenever I flirt with you, you always get this beautiful blush, as if you were a young maiden being courted for the first time."

            "Just by someone who does it so articulately," she whispered to herself.  Sango froze when his fingers again traced the outline of the scars on her body.  "They're just scars.  You don't have to be so obvious about them."  Sango started to bring up her yukata, but he refused to remove his probing hand this time.  "You have your own scars you can…."

            "But yours look good.  You're ashamed of them, aren't you?  You shouldn't be.  They remind me of how strong you are, of how much you've been through and how you overcame everything that gets in your way."  Once again she was reminded of how well Miroku used his words.  Sometimes it seemed like he was speaking in poetry, the way the things he same came off his tongue so sincerely and effortlessly.  "Personally, I admire them."

            She felt her cheeks grow red, and he removed his hand, allowing her to pull up her shirt and cover herself back up.  She was surprised when Miroku tenderly moved her hair off her shoulder so it hung down her back again.  "Thank you."

            "Whenever I get an excuse to touch your hair, there's no need for thanking me," he pointed out.

            "No.  Thank you for keeping your promise."  He thought she was going to get up and leave, but instead she looked at him, still kneeling on his bedroll.  "You don't know how much of a distraction you are to me, Miroku.  Even now, like this, I… I don't know what… I….."  She blushed and turned away.

            He was quiet, simply watching her.  "Would you like to stay up with me and wait for Inuyasha and Kagome to return?"  Sango nodded.  Miroku nudged closer and laid his hand overtop of hers.  He followed her gaze and stared ahead into the trees.  "If this is too much of a distraction, you can stop and I will understand."

            Sango merely curled her fingers around his and sat with him, waiting for their friends to return.


	2. Trees

Dressing Wounds

AN: Wow! ^_^  I'm glad to see that a whole seven people read and liked my story. (And no, that wasn't sarcasm.)  I actually want' expecting so many, what with the vast amounts of Kagome and Inuyasha fan fics.  (Somehow the end up popping up in our chapter of the story.)  I hope you guys like this one as much as the last one.  I decided to change my style, and I might go back and retype the first chapter, making it suit, but I think that the third person suits the set-up of the story better.  I apologize that this chapter is so short, but hopefully the fluff won't be compromised by its incredible four-page length. -_-

Lily: Aw, I love you. ^^  With reviews that energetic, I don't think I'll run out of inspiration for a long time.  (Incidentally, this whole story was actually inspired by the fact that at one point Sang touches his back. -_-  What can I say?  I'm a fluff freak.  The slightest thing sets me off.)

Aamalie:  Please do send me any more gaping plot holes or clichés you can think of! ^^  They will be greatly appreciated, although I'm ashamed to admit that I have kept some of clichés in the story.  Others I beat like they were someone one my 'I want to maim' hit list.  (For your information, it only has three people on it.  I love everyone.)

Zephor: *giggles*  You're sweet.  I'm going to do my best to avoid the cliché you mentioned –about Sango getting jealous- although it's so easy to write!  I'll have to watch myself on that one.  ^-^ I'm planning on the children thing right now.  It'll be in around chapter 14.  Yes, that's right, I do actually have fourteen chapters of this story planned.  I'm bored and have no life, and three hours of a geology lecture make for lots of crazy ideas.

Abhilasha:  Good!  Get addicted!  If I have to be addicted to fan fics, someone else has to join me in that endeavor!  I can't be the only rabid fan fic author/reader on this whole site!!  (And, frankly, the fact that it's _my_ fic you'd get addicted to just makes me feel all uber fuzzy on the inside!)

Saikono:  I'm glad you find people in character.  I was actually kind of afraid that people might not find them that way. ^^  And ah… -_-' If your comment on grammer was regarding this particular story, I apologize.  I'm getting better at it though!  I swear on Inuyasha's puppy ears that I am!

e. Thompson:  Dude, if you thought that was cute, wait until you see what else I have planned.  Though I think I need to focus on the cute a lot more.  I like cute, and so far some of the chapters I've planned out have been leading more towards comedy or just random things I would like to see happen to develop their relationship.

Miri:  Short and too the point… maybe you should teach me that trick.

As I said, enjoy!!

Chapter Two: Trees

            Kagome had gone back home, as she so often needs to do.  I can understand the need for schooling, and how she needs to take a break from hunting for jewel shards.  It's tasking, hunting them down like this.  We can walk for weeks and not find anything, and yet we will be attacked nonstop.

           No.  Let me rephrase that: _I_ will be attacked nonstop.  Inuyasha somehow manages to find trouble wherever he goes, but trouble is always at my side… okay, it's behind me usually, no doubt looking somewhere it shouldn't be.  _Miroku_ of course.  The stupid, lecherous monk….

            Oh, I know he's not really stupid.  He's quite intelligent after all, but you would think after I slap him for the first time for groping me that he would learn to stop.  Kagome has, when we're drifting off to sleep and talking, remarked that maybe he's just determined.  Obviously he's determined!  All of us have to be, for trying to find shards that can be scattered all over Japan and be the size of a sliver of wood!

            Sorry.  Every once in awhile, even I need to vent.  I can't remain Sango the composed forever.  I can't be Sango, the girl who kills demons to relieve anger, or Sango the rational, or Sango… Sango the man hater, even!  Everyone seems to have gotten it in their head that I always have to be this way, that I always have to be unemotional and strong and…

            And it's not true!  I'm not always that way.  Plus… Sango the man hater?  When did I ever say that?  Oh, okay, there may have been one or two occasions where I said it in the midst of anger but… I understand and respect Inuyasha and he's both a male and half demon!

            I suppose that's why I like Miroku.  Yes, I'll admit it.  He's my friend, so of course I have to like him.  Miroku is a man with many layers.  I've known him for almost two years now, and I still haven't quite figured him out all the way.  He's a puzzle and quite frankly, I like it that way.  I'm never one to back down from a challenge!

            For instance, the time when he asked me to bear his children, which he never really got to finish.  I can't seem to recall now why I didn't let him finish the question.  Hearing it did make me mad.  He was grouping me with everyone else, when I'm not like everyone else.  I'm Sango.  He had even asked Kagome that question!  It took me along time to realize that up until then, he _had_ been treating me differently.  I was the one girl he didn't ask.  In fact, I practically invited him to ask me by pointing it out to him.  It took me even longer to figure out why he treated me differently.

            He respected me.  I've encountered that a lot.  I don't mean to brag, but there are not a lot of people out there that I can't beat.  Fighting is what I've been trained to do.  People see I'm a woman, though, and they forget that I'm a slayer.  They ask me how a girl like me could defeat demons, or carry around my _haraikotsu_, or walk around unescorted.  Miroku never asked me that because right from the start he respected me.

            You know, sometimes I even wonder how lecherous he is.

            Let's face it: there's conflicting evidence.  Sure, he waited to grope me until after I was fully healed, so obviously he has some constraint.  On the other hand, there's that fourteen year old girl he asked to bear his children when she was only eleven.  Mind you, at the time, he would have been fifteen or sixteen depending on what time of year it was.  Besides, Miroku was trying to find Naraku!  There's a chance he thought at the time that he would never go to that village again, so what's a question like that to make a girl feel like she has someone out there wanting to take her away from her captive life?  When Kohaku got taken away from me….

            Besides, there's a chance that wind tunnel could have expanded and he wouldn't have gotten the time to go and find her because….

            The same thing could go for that girl…

            And the other one…

            How do I know he'd come back to me?

            No, Sango!  Don't you dare start thinking like that!

            That's really the problem right there.  How can I allow myself to feel anything more for him?  It must be so hard on him, knowing that he's going to die and that by fighting with us he might only be speeding up the inevitable end.  I can not burden him with the guilt of leaving behind someone he loves.  The guilt he has from knowing he will be leaving friends must already be enough.  How can I let myself feel anything more, when it would hurt me as well?

            On the other hand…. Why are there always too many hands?  He wants a child so much.  I should just stop being his friend and tell him to go off and get married and have a kid with some woman who'll have him and not care he'll leave once the kid is conceived!  Then he can have the heir he wants!

            And be completely and utterly trapped once we win, especially if he doesn't love her.

            So what! This day in age lots of people are wedded to people they don't love!  This wouldn't be anything new.  The woman would get a doting father, and Miroku would no doubt get someone pretty who finds him attractive and doesn't mind his lecherous ways.

            I certainly couldn't have his child!  I'm a demon slayer!  I can't help Kohaku and be pregnant with a child at the same time!  Hell, and Naraku!  What would he do if he found out about it?  Come to think of it, with Naraku and Kanna watching our every move, Miroku can't have any kid at all, can he?  As soon as conception occurred, the child would be in danger, and the mother as well.

            "Which is why I would want to have a fighter as the mother of my child."

            "_Houshi-sama_!"  I spun around, my surprised face melting into one of anger.  He had been listening to me talking to myself?  How completely humiliating!  Yet he didn't appear amused or patronizing.  Miroku sat across from me, his arm folded on his knee and his chin resting on his arm and his staff held in his ungloved hand.

            A tiny smirk appeared and vanished at the corner of her lips, his dark eyes lowered.  "Sango, you were just referring to me by my name.  Can't you please stop all the 'monk' talk?  As you pointed out, I'm your friend, and it _is_ just us here."

            My body relaxed and I sat back down on my rock, my face still.  "You've been listening for that long?"  I folded my hands in my lap, watching him through balefully lowered eyelashes.  He wasn't smiling, just sitting there across from me and looking serious.  It always surprises me how he can float between being the most light-hearted of my companions, and the most sobering.  The glove on his hand is a constant reminder of our own mortality.

            "You need to stop thinking sometimes, Sango," he said gently, ignoring it as I shot him an angered expression.  "Logic can only take you so far.  There are so many choices in life, Sango, that if you rationalize everything, eventually your mind will snap.  Nature itself shows us that.  Look at the trees around you.  They may seem to be tall and inflexible, but in fact they move to the winds and reach for the sun and entangle together in the ground to search for water.  However, no matter how tall they get, or how deep the roots that wind can still snap them in two if the tree can't bend now and then."

            "Are you saying I need to get bent?"

            Miroku laughed.  He has such a charming laugh, one that makes you want to smile in return.  It hasn't made me smile yet, though it's threatened to make me do so on more than a few occasions.  "Yes, although it doesn't sound quite so appealing when you put it so bluntly."

            "You know, I really should throttle you for eavesdropping," I grumbled, glaring at him briefly.

            "I merely came out to tell you that Inuyasha returned with our supper and Kaede's currently cooking it.  It should be done within the hour."  He stood to leave, but sat back down, watching the same flowing stream and twitching grass that I had stared at when I had been talking to myself.  "It certainly is confusing, isn't it?  There are so many conflicting desires, and yet so many amicable opinions."

            I leaned forward a little, my voice soft as I watched him, trying to understand how he acts and thinks the way he does.  "What do you think about it?"  He glanced at me, arching an eyebrow.  "About us, Miroku."

            He smiled fleetingly, scratching the back of his head nervously.  "Actually, I try not to think about us at all.  If I do, I start sounding like you with over analyzing everything.  Or else I get lost in fantasies of what could be, had you and I met under different circumstances, without Naraku and without this curse.  Still, you had some very interesting points I had never thought of.  If I did have a child, Naraku would use them the same way he used Inuyasha and Kikyo.  I just…."  He stared down at the hand, and then went back to his original position.  I knew why he wanted a child, he didn't need to explain.

            "I wouldn't…."  He stopped, thinking, and then started again, turning to look at me.  "I guess I wasn't thinking all those times I ask you to bear my child, Sango.  This is your fight too.  I can't expect you to stop because I ask you a question.  I won't ask you again…."

            "Thank you."

            "…Until after the fight is over."

            Rolling my eyes, I felt my cheeks grow red and heard Miroku chuckle again.  When I looked over at him, his dark eyes sparkled.  "You always turn such a lovely shade of red, Sango."  

See?  That was what I meant when I said I like him.  No one else ever says that kind of stuff to me.  Miroku, I fear, may have spouted it off to half the female population of this island, however.  Oh, would that I was the only person to have heard that!  I crossed my own arms.  "Your words are too practiced, Houshi-sama.  Can't you come up with anything new?"

"You're beautiful."

I opened my eyes and stared at him, my frame losing its hardness.  That I had never heard before either.  Not even from my father.  Maybe that was part of the reason why I always tried so hard to hide my scars from him, up until that night a few weeks ago.  If I wasn't beautiful, then I had to be ugly.  Maybe I had used them as a scapegoat.  I was beautiful?  And to hear it said with such frankness.  There hadn't been any of usual prose, just two words: 'you're beautiful'.  He was staring at me, watching my cheeks turn even darker than before.

"What's the matter?  You look as if you'd never heard that before."  I remained silent.  "Oh."  He slowly lowered his staff and uncurled on the rock, relaxing.  Miroku's dark eyes remained affixed on me, and he was quiet for a long while, trying to figure out what to say as I waited for my blush to subside.  He snapped his fingers when he thought of what to say, his face turning deeply serious, minus the twinkle in his eye.  "Sango, all the males in your village must have been blind if they could not see the scope and breadth of your beauty."

Arching an eyebrow, I had to pour all my effort into not smiling.  "You're getting rusty, Miroku.  That didn't sound nearly so eloquent.  Laying it on a little thick, aren't you?"

"You're right, of course.  So, I will just have to wait until we get a moment or two alone and then I can tell you that you're pretty again, without any other flattery."

I nodded and rose to go back to the village.  Miroku still kept staring at me, the way a hunter watches his prey.  It made me feel strange inside.  I didn't like being prey, the intensity of his eyes scared me, and yet at the same time, it was almost somewhat flattering to think that I had caught his attention to the point that he would look at me and only me.

"Since we last talked, I've been trying to not grope you as much.  I know I slip up a lot, but I wanted you to know that I am trying."

Nodding, I reached over and placed my hand on his shoulder.  "I know you are, Miroku.  Thank you."  I didn't move or flinch away when he reached up and patted my hand, silent thanks for my own acknowledgement of what he was doing to try and make me like him.  I offered him my hand.  "Come on, Houshi-sama.  Let's get back to the village before Inuyasha has to come out looking for us."

He grinned and stood up, taking my hand off of his shoulder and raising my hand to his knuckles, kissing them tenderly with his warm mouth.  I felt my jaw drop slightly, surprised by his action.  He let my hand fall away.  "I will accompany you in a moment, Lady Sango.  I have a few things to think about first."

Respecting his wish for privacy, I turned and left, leaving Miroku to think about whatever was on his mind.  I only hoped that he would remember his own advice and he wouldn't end up breaking in two at the next heavy gust of wind.


	3. Masochist

Dressing Wounds

AN:  Yaho!  ^^  It's Easter, so I figure, why not let the bunny drop a gift in ff.net?  Okay, so this isn't chocolate, but I tried!  And I know it's early, but I'm leaving to go home tomorrow, and so I'd better do this now. ^^  I might have decided to wait, but you all seem so nice that I had to give you something sweet!

I know a lot of you said that you didn't like the first person chapter, I promise you that they will get better! ^_^  I don't know. I like them because it gives you a chance to see into people's heads. But chapter two… yes, probably one of the worst chapters.  Trust me, this one is better.  And it's not all going to be from Sango's perspective, oh no… because who wouldn't want into the mind of everyone's favorite pervert?

Yume:  Ah, I'll try my best to write a perverted Miroku.  C'mon, he's a great character, so I have to do him justice!

San San: Stale cotton candy?  Man, when I get my paws on cotton candy, it never gets a chance to get stale… ^^  It's gone in a day or two.

Lily Thorne:  You're so freaking perky!!  Thanks for the idea.  It's getting put in… chapter 14 or so. ^^  Or maybe not.  I can't tell you what exactly I'm doing, as that would ruin the surprise, but I'm working on it!  And I can promise you it will be good… maybe even funny, if I can get my defective comedy gene to work.

Aamalie:  See, it's comments like that which make me want to best myself, but then it would be too sweet, and I would get cavities. ^^

Kumiko: Aren't they though?  I tell you, if I didn't plan on surprising someone by dressing up like their favorite character, I would go to the con coming up as Sango.  And just my luck, some fifteen year old boy would probably be dressed as Miroku though, and try to grope me all day.  When I'm old enough to be his baby sitter, almost old enough to be his teacher, and I can't hit back because it would be against the law!  Damn it all…. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Bob:  Don't worry.  I can change the writing style as need by to allow for more/fewer characters.  You ever try writing a story over AIM with somebody and having 6 characters talking all the same time?  Now that, mon ami, is confusing!

Dude, an Esca sig!  I haven't been forgotten by Escaflowne!  *dances and realizes people are watching her so she stops*  Um… okay: I don't own Inuyasha, and just as a warning: don't read all of this story in one sitting. It will hurt your brain.  Hm… there was something else…

Oh yes!  By the way, the story takes place over months!  Therefore if your reading it and something seems kind of OOC because it happens "too soon" or something, then go back and read the chapter. There are –and will be- clues everywhere about the passing of time without me having to say "so and so months later".  Just though I'd give you all a heads up.

Enjoy!!

Chapter Three: Masochist

            I'm glad that someone around here understands me.  Well, Sango is at least trying to understand me.  The situation is getting more complicated day by day.  By situation I of course refer to the growing sentiments between Sango and me.  Oh, I know, at times there certainly doesn't seem to be anything between us other than my lust and her anger, but really, I'm positive there's something much greater there.  It has to do with the way she sometimes appears sorry for hitting me after I grope her, the way she looks so considerate when we talk, or the way she sometimes understands the things I'm talking about before I fully do.

            Sadly, understanding Buddhist concepts or tactical scenarios doesn't mean that she understands me, but she is trying to.  Without any discussion at all, after a battle where one of us is injured, we leave our friends for privacy just so we can converse.  As much as she or I are in pain at those times, it's nice to talk without being interrupted. 

This time, however, neither of us were injured when we decided to excuse ourselves and go for a walk.  We said it was because we wanted to make one final sweep of the area were had selected for our camp, but both of us knew that Kagome and Inuyasha weren't stupid enough to believe that.  In fact, both of them, I fear, had a contorted idea of what was actually going on during our meander through the woods.

We were silent, neither of us knowing what topic to bring up.  So, I shifted the angle of my walk.  Sango has a delicious body.  I'm fairly certain I tell her that often enough, but I'm never actually sure if she believes me or if she feels that I'm merely toying with her.  My feelings in chasing her are earnest, but often she treats it as if it were a cat and mouse game.  I have found the woman that I want to bear my children: she's beautiful, and strong, incredibly brave, stubborn, impulsive… she's everything I've ever wanted.

Which is kind of what scares me.  Sango was right.  I didn't ask her to bear my children when we first met, as I usually do, because I respected her too much.  Kagome?  Ah well, I respect Kagome too, but the circumstances of our meetings were different and thus I was able to ask and grope Kagome sooner than Sango.  That respect causes a problem: I didn't want to simply bed Sango and then leave.  But the idea of having a family… not children, but a wife; it's rather a terrifying aspect at times.  Besides that, there is always the dark future looming before us.  Which is why I always stop at that question.  If Sango ever replied yes when I asked her to bear my children, I would not bed her.  Not when Naraku lies watching us and I could leave her a widow with a child.  It would be enough to know that she would be willing to allow me to touch her in such a manner.

Ah, touching….

I reached out and cupped her rear, but got no further than that before she whirled around and slapped me.  I rubbed my suddenly aching cheek and smiled.  "I hadn't done that for three days.  I needed to do it to keep myself sane," I weakly explained.   The slap had broken the awkward silence and now we could talk again.

Sango snorted and leaned against a tree to watch me. "At least you stopped spewing all the shit about your right hand having a mind of its own."

"Well, I still say that there is another voice, but it was never actually in my hand."  I gave her the most charming smile I could manage with a throbbing, red cheek.  "There's part of me that wants nothing but to sit and meditate all day and thinks too much because he can't.  There's the part of me that's driven to revenge.  They are the ones who are mostly in control.  Then there is the voice that constantly reminds me of how your skin feels, how good you smell…."  I trailed off.

Her face was red, but somehow I knew that this time it was from anger rather than embarrassment.  "I think you have it confused.  The latter voice is the one that's usually in control, Miroku."  She arched an eyebrow, her gaze landing on the red side of my face and slipping down to my smile.  "Why don't you ever try to fight back when I hit you?  You're fast enough to stop me.  Well, it might be close, but you could still stop me on some of my slower days."

I shrugged.  "Everything has a price, Sango.  It's karma.  What goes around comes around.  You don't like being groped, I don't like being hit, but each action as a consequence and if mine is being slapped, then I will never utter a single word of complaint."

Sango blinked.  Her brown eyes began to look slightly amused.  "Then you really don't like it?"

"Do _you_ like being hit?"

Her cheeks darkened, and this time it was definitely from anger.  "Like being hit?  What do you think I am?"  She stopped leaning on the tree and straightened her back.  "Honestly, Miroku, sometimes you're too perverted…." I didn't even recognize that she was still talking before I tried to defend myself, but Sango continued, ignoring me.  "Still, I'm glad to know that you're not… not one of _those_ types of people.  At the same time, it makes me feel guilty for hitting you."

I was silent, considering this.  She did actually feel bad for hitting me.  It wasn't an illusion or an eager mistake that had led me to believe she felt guilty over the bruises I sported irregularly on my cheek.  I had been right!  But I felt bad for making her feel bad.  Isn't that odd?  I could tell her not to feel guilty for me, but that would mean I would be asking Sango to deny a part of herself I admired.  She, much like Kagome, was willing to accept everything wrong in the world and vow to change it.  That, I realized, was why she had vowed to save her younger sibling and rebuild the demon slayer village.  She wanted change, and would walk around the world to accomplish her goals.

In the end I said the only thing I could think of saying.  "Thank you."

She turned around, staring at me suspiciously.  "Thank you for hitting you?"

"For caring enough about me to regret hurting me just because you're the means of punishment. Which is only fair, considering you're the cause of punishment."  She was thinking about this when I caught up to her, giving her a large smile.  "You're exquisite, Sango."

Her disapproving, suspicious look returned.  "Flirting again?  A girl could become lost in all the honors you decorate her with."

"My theory is that by sugar-coating you, one day I'll be able to sample how sweet you really are without actually getting hit."  I stared as Sango walked away.  Had I said something wrong?  Then I caught her words about me needing a bit more practice at seducing warriors.  I caught up with her, feeling slightly injured that she overlooked my declarations of undying affection so easily.  Perhaps I was slightly too rough when I crossed my arms, appearing slightly like Inuyasha.  "What would you know about seducing people, Sango?"

Fearing a strike, I was surprised when she put her hand over mine, her simple touch pulling me to a stop.  I prayed that the dancing lights in her brown eyes were actually the first steps to an actual laugh.  I wanted to see Sango smile so very badly.  Oh, she was beautiful enough when she blushed, and I feared that seeing her smile might break my heart, but that was a risk I was willing to take.  More than wiling.

"Miroku," she said uncertainly.  "Are you actually assuming that you're the first man who has ever tried to seduce me?"

I felt the confusion dart across my face.  It turned very slowly to pride when Sango began to blush slightly.  Was she embarrassed at the topic, or was some thought that I could only dream about fluttering in that intelligent mind of hers?  My voice wavered, and I took a breath, trying to calm down.  I smiled nervously.  "I apologize Sango.  The way that you always shoot me down and that arm of yours, I had always thought that perhaps it was a sign of nervousness and that you had not been courted before."

She stared at me a moment, and then she covered her soft mouth with her hand.  My ears burned when a delicate laugh filled the air.  Sango had laughed!  My Sango had laughed…. Mind you, she had laughed _at me_ but the point was that behind that damn hand she was actually smiling!  I don't know what came over me at that moment, but suddenly I wanted to hold her and hear the wonderful sound echo in my chest, to feel her muscular body move against mine, to watch her smile as I kissed her mouth and to watch it grow afterwards.  The sound slowly died away, and I would have gladly done anything to hear the sound again.  I didn't care if she laughed at me, as long as she laughed.  Cautiously, I wrapped an arm around her waist.

Dropping the hand, her normal face was back, the thoughtful expression that could often look lost and lonely.  So lonely!  Now it was amused.  Deep down, I knew, she was still laughing at me.  My grip on her waist tightened, and my fingers itched to move my hand downwards.  I cemented it where it was on her hip.  I would not allow my own desires to break this wonderful moment.

"Miroku, sometimes you can be so… endearingly sanguine."  Did it bother me that I didn't even know what the hell she was talking about at that moment?  No.  I'd ask Kagome to use her dictionary and look up the words later on, just so that I was certain of what she said.  My vocabulary greatly depleted from holding her.  Even my palms were moist, which was ridiculous.

"I was the daughter of the chief.  I had males chasing me."  Her voice tightened.  I knew how hard it was to speak of the dead.  Although Sango had accepted that her clansmen were dead, it was a different matter of accepting death than accustoming her mind to acknowledge the people she had grown up with were no longer living on the same plane as her.

I cleared my throat.  "So, these males that chased you, did any of them ever catch you?"  Had my mind not shriveled up at the feeling of her body against mine, I'm certain I could have found a better way to phrase my question.  As it was, she gave me a glare that made my numb mind feel like a block of ice.  "That came out badly…."

"But I understand what you meant."  Sango shrugged, and then glared at me again.  "Just because I was accosted by males did not mean that I accepted.  Other girls may be ready to have lain with a man when they were fifteen, but I wasn't.  I mean, I was, except there wasn't a man I wanted to share a house with.  Some males chased me to become the next chief, and these usually ended up on the ground clutching their genitals or bleeding.  Others found me attractive.  These I could tolerate, but only for a short while.  Once they saw the scars beneath my clothes or felt the calluses of my hands they realized that I would not be the kind of wife they sought.  Others wanted children, and I certainly was not ready for those.  I was one of the best fighters in the village, and I was not about to burden myself with a family while I was in my prime.  

"Then there were the few who wanted me for who I was, who wouldn't care when I went out into the world to make a kill.  These I liked.  They were the ones who remained unscathed when I grew mad at them, who respected me enough not to pin me up against the side of building and try to slip their hands between my legs.  And some of them I truly did like.  Unfortunately, others had marriages arranged for them and married my female companions.  Others died… they're all dead now."

I gently stroked her hair, guiding her forehead to my shoulder so that she could lean on me.  Sango was strong enough to stand on her own, but I enjoyed the weight of her body against mine.  I didn't like hearing her talk about her past and wonder what feelings were burning in her mind.  I loved her stories, but hated that I could not offer any support.  I didn't know what type of support I should give her.

"There was one boy.  He had very pale eyes.  They were totally unlike yours.  They were like metal: impenetrable and light.  But he was always so happy.  He moved like a wild animal, as silent as any demon, as graceful as Kirara… he was the one I would have chosen, if he hadn't died when I was sixteen.  A winter disease took him.  Two springs ago, he had given me my first kiss.  I can still remember the very place.  He never used words the way you do.  He always used touches, dancing with me at festivals, letting his fingers touch mine when he passed me something, purposely making mistakes in his katas so that I had to correct them…."  Her body slowly tensed.  "He used to brush my hair the way you're doing now," she whispered.

"Do you want me to stop?" I inquired.  When she said no, I released the breath I had been holding.  I was glad.  I enjoyed brushing her hair, and intuition told me that she liked it.  I reached down and pulled out the strip of fabric that held her hair in place, so that I could run my hands through it.  Her silken hair slid between my fingers, and I had to struggle to withhold a sigh.  "He was quite lucky to give a woman like you your first kiss."

She was silent, and then she quietly thanked me, pressing her body against mine.  Why did she thank me?  It hadn't meant to be a compliment.  I had been telling the truth.  Only it my wildest dreams did I believe that she would allow me to kiss her.  He had indeed been lucky to have been the first to willingly cross that border from friendship… into something else.  "Why didn't you…."

"It wouldn't have been proper for me to have slept with him!  I was the chief's daughter!  What kind of an example had I set if I shared a bed with a man to whom I was not wedded?  Miroku, just because a man seeks to seduce a woman doesn't mean he succeeds.  Women have to be willing, either through grief, or love, or pity, or lust, to be seduced.  I was far from willing so…."

I felt my cheeks darken, hidden from her gaze because my chin rested on her head.  "Sango, I was going to ask you why you didn't allow me to hold you like this sooner.  If I could hold you like this every once in awhile, I don't think that I would need to grope you."

"Oh."  Was that all she had to say.  Her muscles tightened, as if she were about to move away, but she relented and was contend to be held while we talked.  "It never occurred to me that I was vulnerable in this situation, but you haven't tried to abuse it once…."  She seemed to contemplate that, and then she wrapped her arms around me, her hands laying on my shoulder blade.  Her fingertips brushed the tips of my hair, sending shivers down my spine.  If she noticed them, she made no comment.  "Why does it please you being like this?"

She sounded so curious, so young, that I felt like scum.  I felt as if I was ruining her.  Sango, from the story she had told me, might have had some experience with males, but now that she was older, she was inquiring about my mind, not about kisses or holding hands; not in the how, but in the why.  She wanted to understand me.  I relish that knowledge to the point that I constantly repeat it, yet it never losses its potency.  The problem was, I was never really quite sure about how I thought, so I put a lot of consideration into my answer.

"I like this because of the same reason that you enjoy feeling your hair being brushed, or why Shippo likes to snuggle next to Kagome and why Inuyasha is jealous of it.  People –demons too, it seem- need to have a physical relationship with someone to feel healthy in the mind.  A goodnight kiss from a parent, being tucked into bed, holding hands, holding a lover, being a lover, kissing," a sighed mournfully.  "These are all the things that keep us feeling healthy.  They make us feel safe and love…."  When my voice returned, it was somewhat shaky.  "That we have someone to protect, to love, just to live for in general."

Pushing me away so fast that the air assaulted me, she stared at me face, a slow horror creeping into her eyes when she saw what was in mine.  It was followed by grief and self hatred when she saw that she had seen me without any form of protection from my inner most feelings and she had reacted with nothing but shock and fear.  At least it hadn't been hatred.

She lowered her head, her eyes concentrating on the rocks of the road.  "Miroku, I…"

This time I was the one who interrupted, surprising myself.  I didn't think that my shaking voice could stop hers.  Even now, she sounded so strong.  "I'm scared too."  Startled, her gaze returned to mine and she wordlessly challenged me.  I shook my head.  "I can't explain why things would scare me.  Not yet."

"Because I'm not ready to hear it."  Her brown eyes softened, and she moved a little closer to me.  If it was possible, I would have thought she was trying not to cry.  "I want to.  I want to know everything about you, Miroku.  I want to know every single happy memory in your past, to know how you see the world and to let you know mine so that we can… so that we can take everything good and share it.  You might be able to sort through your emotions and figure out everything because you've been out _there_!  You've seen the world and experienced it and you've tried other women and now you want me, but I haven't had that experience before, Miroku!  Compared to you, I might very well be a virgin at anything to deal with feelings, because I'm not like you!  I don't know what this is… what I _feel_!"

Realizing that she really was trying hard not to cry, I longed to hold her again.  I could only let her emotions run, and dry her tears.  That was all I could do, and I wanted to do it to the best of my abilities.  I reached out to her, and she shook her head, fleeing from me.  My hand fell back to my side.  She would go to the river and clean herself up and then she would head back to camp.  We would see each other at camp and pretend that nothing had ever happened between us.  Except that I still held the ribbon that held her hair in place.  Inuyasha and Kagome would be forced to acknowledge that something had happened in the woods.  Once Kagome's women's intuition had kicked in, I only hoped that Inuyasha wouldn't beat me too badly.  He always did jump to the worst possible conclusions.


	4. Bodies

Dressing Wounds

AN: So, yea… re reading this chapter, I found myself wondering where it came from.  I have no idea, so if anybody knows what inspires it, kindly hand me that sugar back this way.  I just finished writing a rather sad chapter fifteen and I could use a pick-me-up. ^^  Anyway, for something different, see the rest of the AN at the bottom of the chapter.

Lily: thank you so much for the web site idea.  It definitely got me thinking, and as summer is almost here, maybe I could so a bit of diving into Buddhism myself, but that would only come after I find a job.  -_-  So until then, I'm afraid the topic of Miroku and Buddhism will have to be a skipped over topic, however regrettably it's skipped over.  And thank you so much for the comment about them being in character. ^^  Good to know, as I'm basing this on the manga and I haven't even met Miroku yet…. Ah, sweet anime con, that's what your there for!

Aamalie: I did enjoy my trip, thank you.  No chocolate form the Easter bunny, but an inbox full of squishy reviews makes up for that.  *sits down and tries to piece Aamalie back together from the goo playing with HTML format*

Okami: Thank you for translating for Katani. ^_^

Gina: "sweet lech"?  Kudos to you for summing up my favorite male character in two words! Mind if I still it from you?  It saves me from ranting to my parents how cool he is and why me being a puddle of goo while watching Inuyasha is a good thing.

Corisu: *hides from the glare*

Mitsumi:  I loved your idea!  I read it last night, and finished it after my exam today!  Now I need an idea for comedy that way I can cheer myself up.  It's a tearjerker, and it might be a little clichéd…. But I like it, and I have plenty of time to rewrite it.  As of right now, it's chapter 15. ^^

Izu:  Fluff also keeps me going.  Which is good considering I live in the barren waste land that is North Bay.  And on that note…

Anda: *waves her little Canada flag*  Don't you love it how sometimes you need to declare your country before people realize it's Victoria BC you're talking about?  Ah well, maybe I'm just too patriotic.  *shines her 'I'm from Barrie, the town that grows but nothing ever changes' badge*

Unlike any other:  You ramble like I do! Um… special reply to you at the bottom, as your point is kind of involved in this chapter.

Tori:  I glomp back, just to warn you. ^^

Radical: I see Miroku and Sango as deep characters.  *shrugs*  I just want to do the characters I love justice.

San San:  You cried at _that_?  *hands you a box of kleenes*  You might need these for some other parts in the chapters. What can I say?  I'm a sentimental freak.

ENJIOY! ^^

Chapter Four:  Bodies

            The sun was warm as we walked along the broad path that led south. We had already searched the area for signs of Naraku or the Shikon Jewel, so we pressing to reach past the large tree that marked where our party had turned around.  We wanted to give Kirara and Inuyasha a chance to rest, as tomorrow Inuyasha would travel the day carrying Kagome, and Kirara would carry Sango and I, as well as Miroku.

            Sometimes, I wondered what it must be like for Kagome to travel that way, feeling Inuyasha's body support her and the wind rush through her hair.  I wonder if Miroku could carry me like that.  With all his good behavior lately, if he offered, I think I would accept.

            We could hear Inuyasha growl from ahead of us, where he walked with Kagome and Shippo.  Sometimes, I had to question if he knew the meaning of the word 'relax'.  I could understand his apprehension, however.  He was only trying to protect Kagome.  She turned and gave him a gentle answer, and I could barely hear it.  Even Kirara's ears didn't move.  When we talked in a normal voice, they were out of earshot.  My eyes widened.  I had been copying Miroku's stride.  He was the one who had fallen behind.  Why?  I thought, absentmindedly scratching Kirara's head.  He wanted to talk.

            "Houshi-sama," I said softly and politely, "whatever you want to talk about, you can say it now.  Kirara isn't going to go and tell anybody. In fact, she already knows that you and I have conversations, just not what they're about.  It would probably be better for her to know what kind of things we talk about so that you don't end up being asked about your motivations by a very large, very angry cat."

            Kirara nodded, and we looked at the road, waiting for Miroku to speak.  When he did, I wish I had been more prepared.

            "Do you think I'm a whore?"

            I spun around on him.  "WHAT?"  I noticed that Inuyasha and Kagome turned around to see what had caused me to yell and I did the first thing that came to mind.  I slapped him.  Damn, it hurt.  For a split second before Inuyasha and Kagome had turned around, I had seen his face.  He had actually been serious.  His dark eyes were soft and worried about my answer.  Miroku was actually thinking that I would say yes!  Hitting him only made him take a mental step further from me, further stretching the chasm that had opened up since last night, when I had run away from him.

            "Miroku, how many times do I have to tell you…."

            Kagome placed her hand on my shoulder, stopping me from yelling whatever lie I had been about to spew.  She suggested we all take a break, and so we did.  Miroku and I merely disappeared.  We didn't give any excuse for where we were going, or why we were together, we simply left.  We left behind Kirara to tell our companions that we would be back soon and merely wanted privacy.  When we were far away from the shady tree where Kagome had decided to rest, I stopped walking.  Miroku went only a few steps ahead of me.  He didn't even turn around to look at me.

            I put my hands on my hips.  "How could you even ask me that, Miroku? Your question was stupid!  What would ever make you think of that?"

            He turned around, his eyes a little lighter.  My reaction was as clear as a no as I could possibly say, while I vented my anger at everything: at his stupidity for thinking I could think of him in such a manner, for not being braced for it, for having to hit him because we had to keep up appearances that we were simply friends and nothing more. That was why we always ran to talk, and placed ofuda up around a large area, in a feeble attempt to prevent Naraku from turning us into another Kikyo and Inuyasha.  I made him do it, in his defense.

            "Because of something you said to me last night.  You said that I was more experienced, that I might be able to deal with these emotions because I could recognize them for what they really are and what they might be.  You implied that I slept around.  You said I've 'tried other women'.  I wanted to know why you thought that way.  I thought you might have thought I was a whore."  
            I was ready to hit him.  He said it so carelessly.  It was the carelessness that told me that he wasn't going to fight for it.  If I told him that I did think that way, he wouldn't have fought me, he just would have accepted it.

            "Miroku," I sighed his name, catching his direct attention.  "You're Miroku.  I don't think you're a whore.  Promiscuous, yes, but not that.  I know you a bit better than to think you're someone who will have sex with anybody at anytime, just because the woman is willing."  I gave his arm a tiny chuck.  "Besides, first you have to find a woman who'll sleep with you."

            His dark eyes lightened even more and he suddenly took my hand.  "Sango, will you…"

            "No."  His shoulders fell in defeat, but he didn't let go of my hands.  I pulled one of them away, and let him hold the other one.  I closed my fingers into his palm, my fingernails playing with the beads around his limb, and I tried not to press too tightly.  Sometimes that hole in his hand worried me. If I pressed my fingers into his palm, what would I find?  Would it appear like there was no wound in it, or would be able to feel the wind tunnel?

            "So all these women you've slept with, did all of them agree to be able to bear your children?" I inquired as we sat down at the base of a tree, leaning against the hard wood.

            Miroku thought.  "Actually, since the topic of me and women first came up in that conversation we had last month, I have been doing quite a bit of thinking.  None of the women I've ever… spent the night with have ever agreed to bear my children."

            I felt my mouth open slightly.  "Really? Um… wow… you know, I'd always thought that you'd only have sex with women who agreed to bear your children.  It made me worry that somewhere there would be a tribe of little Mirokus running around somewhere."

            "I hope not," he snorted, almost sounding disgusted.  When he saw my expression, he explained for me, so that he wouldn't think that he was being hypocritical about the idea of children.  "We took precautions so that they wouldn't be pregnant.  If a woman told me that she didn't want a child, I'm not about to give her one even by accident."

            My eyebrows drew closer together as I thought about this.  "But then… the ones who did accept your offer of carrying your child, do you sleep with them?"

            He turned a light shade of pink.  It looked quite fetching on him.  "Actually, he ones who did accept my offer, something always came up which prevented me from following through on that.  There were only two or three that ever accepted my offer.  I never touched any of them."

            "Then the women that you did sleep with…."

            "Purely for physical needs. They were attractive, and willing."  He shrugged.  "That's just a generalization.  There were a few that I really did care about."  Miroku absentmindedly began to rub his cheek.  "You know, I was also thinking about something else.  Were you serious when you said that you heard stories about me?  Oh.  Well, it's just that I sat down last night, thinking about what you had said, and I tried to remember every single female with which I had ever shared a bed.  They weren't that many, so I figured, you couldn't have heard that many stories."

            I leaned down to look up at him, laying my cheek on my knee.  His hand in mine was a nice comfort against the uneasy topic.  "I see.  And how many people were there?"

            Looking uneasy, he paused, then looked at me.  For a moment there was a twinkle in his eye.  He was debating about teasing me, making me guess or something.  Then he sighed and decided to be straightforward.  "Twenty-three."  I gaped at him, though I wasn't certain if it was a number higher or lower than I'd expected.  He shrugged.  "Twenty-three since I was about fifteen.  That's about one woman every two months for four years."

            "I'm well aware of that," I said softly.  "Let's change topics," I suggested, leaning my head against the rough bark of the tree.

            He smiled. "Certainly, Sango.  What would you prefer to talk about?  The weather?  Food?  How to set up Inuyasha and Kagome?"

            Feeling a quiet anger tense up his muscles, I knew that my soft voice had not been enough to tell him that the change of topic was simply because I was uncomfortable.  Now he probably thought I was disgusted or something.  "Miroku, don't be so defensive!  I just don't know how to deal with the idea of you with them.  You know, kissing someone else, groping someone else… being naked."

            "Are you jealous?" he inquired with a hint of hope for a positive reply.

            "Why should I be jealous?  That's all in the past.  But I swear to god that if you hit on somebody else while I'm around I'm going to beat you so badly the only one who will recognize you will be the demons, and that's just because I won't be able to change your scent."

            He laughed.  "I knew it!  You are jealous!"  Then I gave his shoulder a smack with my free hand and that shut him up fast enough.

            "I just don't know how to deal with this, Miroku.  Thank you for being so honest with me, but… what do I say to something like that?  'Congratulations for sleeping with so many women'?  I don't think there is anything I can say to that, so that's why I asked to change topics.  So that I wouldn't have to deal with the uncomfortable silence as you wait for me to say something and I struggle to find something to say."  

I reached up and gently drew his face so that he was looking down at me.  I wanted him to see my face, and I his.  "So I'll pick the new topic of conversation."  I had to think a moment about what that new topic would be.  "Miroku, if we're going to continue sneaking away like this and talking, then I wouldn't really mind it if you held me, if it meant that you would stop groping me.  I don't really like you… people rubbing my butt like that, but if you were to brush my hair, or held hands, or… I don't know, cuddled or something, because I don't mind that at all.  Do you?"

Miroku shook his head no.  He lifted my hand up, and I thought that he was going to do something totally clichéd, but he just rubbed the back of my hand against his cheek, and that was it.  "I would very much like that, Sango."

Did I ever mention how much I love the way he says my name?  I do.  I really do.  It sounds so sweet and musical when he says it.

I stood up, not taking my hand from his, and slid into his lap.  My reward was a look of pleasant shock on his face.  I snuggled against him, pressing my body to his, and butted his jaw to allow me access to his neck, where I nestled my face.  Before I could think about what I had done –did he really think I would leave so quickly?- he wrapped his arm around my waist.  I thought it was going to remain motionless, but a second later I felt a tug at my yukata.  He was rubbing the fabric between his fingers, examining it with his sense of touch.

"What happened to you not wanting to be distracted?  Isn't this a distraction?"

"Yes," I admitted.  "Miroku, I may not know what to say about you and your history with women, nor will I a lot of other things.  I'll always be nervous of it, wondering if you'll compare me to them, or think of them when you touch me.  But I have to accept it.  It's in the past, it can't be changed, and so I am forced to accept it.  Are you able to accept the fact that when you hold me, or even speak to me, part of me will always be listening for signs of danger, wondering what each sound is around us, to the point where I can never actually be fully with you, because…."

"Shh."  He raised a finger and placed it on my lips.  "I can accept that.  You're a warrior.  You have to be fully aware of everything that's going on around you."  He didn't remove his finger, but ran it softly against my bottom lip.  It soon began to tremble, and my mouth opened, breathing audibly as it simply ran back and forth.  "I'm sorry if it sounds wrong, Sango.  I should want all of you, your complete and undivided attention as you have captured mine, but we can't get everything you want.  So if all I can have is your permission, to know that you want it as much as I, then I can accept that."  I licked my quickly chapped lips and accidentally felt my tongue brush the appendage.  He drew it away as if it had touched a fire.  "But I'm still going to be waiting for that day when I can have all of you."

Buried under his chin, all I could smell was Miroku.  He smelled good.  True, there was the tang of sweat in the air from walking all morning, but he still smelled good.  He smelled like Miroku.  I breathed in the dark, musky scent, feeling my body relax against his.  My hearing was suppressed by his voice, the way it rumbled into my body to beat of that furiously pumping heart.  The light bothered me for some reason, so I closed my eyes.  Still, I was aware of what was going on outside around our huddled ball at the base of our tree.

"Oh, Sango, I want to hear your heart quicken when I compliment you.  I want to have your eyes locked with mine so I can see pleasure in them when I touch you.  I want so much…."  When he felt my shoulders tense, he smiled and began to brush my hair.  "Don't worry though.  I won't say or do anything until you give me permission.  And I will never, ever compare you to anybody else, Sango.  Each woman is different.  That's why I… am attracted to you.  Simply because you're Sango."  

"Thank you, Miroku, but… where's the fun if you don't chase me?  If we can't chase each other?  I am Sango, as you so kindly reminded me.  I think of this as being nothing else but a fight, about who will win."

He laughed at my interpretation.  It wasn't a scornful laugh; it was earnestly amused, the way someone laughs after a cute anecdote.  Then his voice became rich and sweet, to the point that imagining a taste of the promises he made sent shivers down my spine and cause my whole body to feel like burning cold.  The only place that felt normal was the hand enclosed in and around his.  "Are you saying you want me to seduce you, Sango?"

'If this is his idea of seducing me, I'm not going to be able to last very long.  I feel so cold, like he's the only one who can warm me up.  Miroku's a goddamn drug.  Poor Inuyasha!  With his perverted male mind and the scent of my arousal, he's probably going to think that Miroku didn't satisfy me.  And… oh shit!  Then he's going to go and yell at Miroku for not being able to… oh, shit!'  As it was, I was going to need to go and take a dip in a cold pool. 

"Yes," I answered.  Why?  Why did I say that?  Too late to take it back now…

Miroku didn't even seem to sense my need to feel his hands exploring my body or his mouth on mine.  Was it possible that he actually didn't know?  How could Miroku, of all people, not be aware of the way that velvety, masculine voice made me want to silence it with a kiss that put the warmth back in every inch of my body?  'All the women he had were willing to share a bed with him for the night.  It's possible that he didn't manage to get them there because of sweet words.  Some of them might have wanted to do it because of that body he hides under his robes.  Some of them might be because he gropes them.  I suppose some women could go in for that.'  Then I had another chilling thought.  'Maybe he's not even going to touch me because he wants me to suffer like this!'

He let go of my hand and reached into his robes to pull out a strand of ribbon. I smiled when I recognized it.  I removed my head from its safe pillow to look at him.  "You had my ribbon?"

"Yes.  I took it out last night when I brushed your hair.  I meant to give it back to you before, but I forgot.  I was having too much pleasure in watching the way your hair moves when it's down, the way it shifts from side to side and moves in the wind."  I was beginning to wonder if he was attracted to me or just my hair when he smiled at me charmingly.  Miroku was still flirting with me, trying to seduce me.  Maybe I was too easy, or he was too skilled, but it was working.  It had been working for awhile.  "May I fix your hair for you?"

I nodded and turned around so he could fix my hair.  His fingers slid through it easily.  I barely noticed when he found a tangle.  It seemed to disappear underneath his gentle fingers.  I wanted to lean back against him, I wanted to let out these strange sounds in my throat.  I wouldn't lie.  I had moaned before from a man's touch, but even the way this one sat in my throat sounded different as I imagined the way that his hands could so easily slip under the folds of my robe, to slid up my thigh until I reached the junction of my legs…

And then what?

I didn't know.  That was the furthest I had ever gone with a boy before we were disturbed.  My father almost caught us at the back of one of the houses, fooling around.  We had fled, and then he had been called away, and we had never actually gotten to proceed any farther together.  After that, we were always chaperoned.

Women can easily hide their arousals.  Men can't.

I wanted to find out.

I felt like I _needed_ to find out.  If this was a fight to make me agree to having some type of physical relationship with him, then as far as I was concerned, my body was a weapon, and I wasn't about to let Miroku have more knowledge than me about my new weapon.

The ribbon was back in place.  He patted my shoulder, hesitated, and then stood up.  "We should be getting back to the others.  We need to get going."

"Miroku?"  My voice sounded funny.  Was that really my voice?  "Can you leave the spells in place for ten more minutes?"

He blinked, but nodded.  Then he stared at me; stared at me so intently that as his gaze slipped down to my breasts I was ready to throttle him.  Finally, he smiled, and I knew that the jerk was aware of how my body was trying to react to him.  Maybe even of what I was going to do to release that desire.  Thankfully, he left without saying anything, giving me the privacy I needed to learn more about the weapon he found so desirable.

~*~

            The rest of the AN now! ^_^  Unlike any other had a very good point when they wrote in the reviews of chapter two….

            While my views regarding sex and Miroku are extremely similar, I did try and make it fit to the story, to avoid the gundam sized plot holes.  I refer to the part in chapter one where Sango says she's heard people talk with having sex with Miroku and about how good he is in bed.  I tried to mathematically figure out a number of people he's slept with to account for these stories without making Miroku into a walking… black book of women, because, as Sango points out, it is rather intimidating.  So, one woman every two months it was. 

            Miroku could always be lying…. ^^

            Why fifteen?  No, I'm not trying to say that people should go out and have sex when they are fifteen.  (The world, I'm learning, is full of idiots, and I fear that someone out there would actually promote that and flame me for it.)  The world was different back in the sixteenth century.  During the sixteenth century in England, do you dare me tell you what kind of stuff was going on, or remind you that it wasn't until the twentieth century when scientist discovered –gasp!- that women might actually _enjoy_ sex?

            On to those who think that Miroku is a virgin…. *grin*  Well, that would just ruin the surprise from chapter 18…. Or so…. Somewhere around there.  Just because I'm the PoF doesn't mean I can't have complicated plots!  But for those who still thinks Miroku  is a virgin in this fic: go back and read the part where he talks about the first woman he ever loved! ^^  While there are many good arguments for him still being a virgin, I (a) wrote this before hearing those arguments, and (b)… see statement number a.

            *rereads and winces*  This is starting to come out a lot bitchier sounding then I meant. It was just supposed to be a rational argument… anyway…

            To each their own!  *candies for all*

            Basically, for those who don't like it:  this is only my view. ^^  Maybe if we're lucky, a graphic novel will emerge just to explain Miroku and his colorful past, and then we'll all know for sure.  (I'd maim and kick to be the first in line for that one!)

            And for all those who think that Sango is OOC for masturbating… hm, maybe you're right.  Then again, as my good buddy Akira says: there are only two types of people, those who masturbate, and those who lie about it.  If you don't like it, pretend it never happened, but I still maintain that part of Sango's spitfire is because she refuses to lose at anything. ^^

            Until next update!!


	5. Spar

Dressing Wounds

AN: Well, here we are again.  ^^  I don't really have much to say this week, only that my muse is kind of dying.  They stopped playing new episodes of Inuyasha, so I don't get to see anything to spark my interest.  Oh, there's pictures on my comp… about 20, but I like watching and stuff.  I mean, this whole story was actually inspired by the episode with Juroromaru and Kageromaru (I hate spelling in other languages sometimes… And I'm too lazy to see if I spelled it correctly… then again, I hate spelling in English too.) when Sango _did_ actually touch Miroku's back as they were walking away, which led to me jumping up and down screaming: '_Ahhh__!  She touched him!  Sango touched Miroku-sama!_'  So id anyone knows of some good MS videos I can download from AMV.com or anything, then please, let me know, because I will do so pretty much immediately. ^^

Oh, and I apologize for myself in the last chapter.  I've come to the conclusion that the internet makes me sound a lot meaner than I am.  I mean, I'm the PoF.  I have all the cruelty of a bag of cotton swabs… against fellow females, anyway.  Males get kicked in the shin. But… I digress. So, I apologize again.  You just have to take anything I say in a perky, happy voice… think… hm… Hikaru and Fuu from Magic Knights Rayearth mixed together! ^_^

Lily Thorne: You're sweet.  It was no problem letting you use the line.  I mean, you were kind enough to ask, and they do always say that imitation is the sweetest form of flattery.  Now I just wish I could remember what 'criticism' I gave you.  *wince*  I could probably use a dose of my own criticism.

Corisu Li: The sexual tension will get worse… oh, so worse… Actually, it gets worse in this chapter, come to think of it.  ^^  And there is actually one story, Joined Forces, by Mybyrdy where she does actually get caught by Miroku.  ^^ (Shhh!  It's a secret though, as I don't want to go and ruin the story for people who might want to read it.) 

Aamalie: 'These sort of endings' meaning what?  Hm… well, for those of who don't want to think of Sango doing that kind of stuff, there's always the alternative, which is presented in this chapter.  Although Sango never had a biology book with her, there's always the greatest excuse for anything: a wizard did it.

Katsumi:  ninja kittens?  Can you train my cat to be a ninja?

Tori No Baka: Hey, love, it is rated R for a reason. ^^  Trust me, the innuendo crossed the border from innuendo to other stuff… I guess around chapter 10 or so. ^^  Should be fun, no?  Please, I have more candy.  I haven't had real food for… three or four days.  The last time I had real food it was from Wendy's, and it was a salad.  When will Wendy's get a veggie burger?  Is soy meat really that much for which to ask?  Wait… I had tortillas.  God, I'm so having a veggie dog tortilla for lunch!!  I eat weird food, I know.  *looks around suspiciously*  There's no lemon…. *covers up chapter seventeen*  I swear there isn't….

Mujitsu:  ….Would you believe, more than likely, it was you I was referring to?  I copied and pasted too!  How'd I get it wrong?

April May:  Sweetie, don't worry, I wasn't talking about you.  I was just afraid I'd get some fanatic who flames me in capital letters saying 'SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS WRONG', only with lots of typos, and who isn't even courteous enough to give me an email address so I can explain my thoughts in not making Miroku a virgin.  Oops. I see why you thought it was in Shippo's POV.  My bad!!  Oh, and you'd be proud of me.  I was struck by a bout of inspiration, and hopefully I managed to come up with a whole new reason to explain Miroku and his lifestyle. ^^  *huggles*

And now that a freaking one page AN is done, to the actual fic!!

Chapter 5: Spar

            The night forest was quiet.  Inuyasha and the others were enjoying some time by themselves.  Earlier, Sango had asked with a deep blush to borrow one of Kagome's books which she had brought back with her from the future.  Inuyasha might not have been interested in Sango's sudden interest in the literature of the future, but I wondered what could have caught the attention of the woman who had caught my eye.  I followed her, after making sure to give her enough time to get settled, to feel safe in her sylvan surroundings.  Perhaps it was cruel of me to let her feel safe and then to barge in on her, but I wanted her to think that I was everywhere.  I wanted to surprise her… and to catch her in the act of reading whatever she had borrowed from Kagome.

            She was sitting on a rock, cross legged, the thick book open across her legs.  She absentmindedly spun some hair around her finger, her face looking concentrated as she read whatever the book contained.  I circled around her from behind, and leaned over.  Sango wasn't even aware I was there until she felt my breath and my skin on her cheek.  By then it was too late.  I had already seen the book and snatched it away from her.  My mind was boggled.  "Kagome's books contain pictures like these?"

            I had never seen a map to the female organs, but was grateful for the books that Kagome had brought with her.

            Sitting down on the ground by her rock, I held the book as she had, but I left my hands on it so that she couldn't steal it back.  "This is amazing."  I turned the page and found myself looking at an equally detailed picture of the male biology.  I blinked. "Truly wondrous."  

            The slayer sighed.  "It's called a biology book, Miroku.  It explains the systems of many different creatures."

            "Why did you want it?"  I caught her red face, and studied her until she looked away.  Only then did I allow myself to smile.  Oh.  I could still remember that day three months ago when she walked out of the woods after our conversation.  Her lips had been bright, a bounce in her step and color on her cheeks, as well as a feeling of contentment that had even kept Inuyasha silent for the rest of the day.  "I had thought that you had made yourself orgasm from the way you looked."

            Sango was silent.  I handed the book back to her, open to the pictures of the male genitalia.  "Kagome is going to want this book back eventually.  Touching yourself can teach you enough about your body, I should imagine, but it can't very well teach you about the opposite sex."

            She rolled her eyes.  "Miroku, I've seen a naked male before.  I do have a little brother."  

Her face saddened at the thought of Kohaku.  I didn't want to see her look sad like that.  I wanted her to smile.  Unfortunately, I only know how to make Sango angry.  I stood up, grabbing my robes.  "Well then, I guess that you wouldn't mind if I undressed right now, would you?"

Turning angry, she glared at me.  Sango decided to call my bluff.  She closed the book and watched me.  I swear that she almost looked hungry to see my body.  "All right, Miroku.  Strip."

Apparently, she thought that I wouldn't actually strip for her.  I shrugged and began to undue my robes.  What had made Sango think that I _wouldn't_ do it, I don't know, but she was shocked.  Before I could even reveal as much as a shoulder, she was waving her hands, her eyes closed tightly.

"Okay!  Okay!  You win this round, Miroku!  Just stop undressing!"

Maneuvering around her frantically waving hands, I took her shoulders in my hands and pulled her up off her perch.  Her eyes widened in surprise as I pulled her against me.  I was too lost in the moment to try and read her mind behind those intelligent brown eyes of hers.  I wanted to hold her close to me to make up for all the times that I had gotten struck for trying to do so; I wanted to dance with her in celebration for the first victory of our little war.

The prize, of course, was Sango's heart.  That had been wordlessly decided since the first time I had held Sango in my lap.  The war was over her heart, because she had looked at me and I had accidentally shown her how much she meant to me.  Finding out that your friend, your traveling companion, sometimes even your nemesis cared more for you than he did about life could be quite a shock.  Just the fact that I love her was enough for her to withdraw from me.  What could have been a game, with Sango and I on the same side, running from the others to talk and touch had turned into a battle.  Sango wanted me to prove to her why I loved her without words, fearing that I would place her on a pedestal.  I was used to words; using my body was harder.  As for Sango, she had to use everything to try and figure out what it was that she felt for me.  

It was complicated.

I seem to be saying it a lot, these days.  But if love weren't complicated, then it would be rarer and more easily built, and thus, less special.

Had I bothered to look at her, to study her as I usually do, I would have noticed the look of danger in her eyes.  She was ready to lash out at me.  Sango couldn't make the connection between me offering to strip and then picking her up.  That was because there was no connection.  I merely wanted to touch her, to dance with her, to watch the color paint her cheeks and the movement of our feet cause her hair to twirl and jump with us.  Of course, I can't dance at all.  Any dances I learned are from watching geishas dance, and I don't think Sango knows those movements.  Although I could be wrong.  I was wrong about her being touched, or flirted.

I wondered then why she blushed when I complimented her, if she was so used to having men supply her with praise, yearning for a smile or their kind words returned.

Sango, feeling confused and endangered by sudden so-called attack, did the first thing that came to her mind.  She balled her fist and got ready to hit me.  When I saw her feint, I did the first thing that came to my mind.  No, no, nothing like that, nothing perverted.  Having done nothing that warranted allowing myself to be hit, I blocked her fist with my arm.  The impact of our connecting limbs was hard enough for us to bruise.  By morning we would be black and blue.

We stared at each other, her gaze softening when she saw a faint smile on my face.  Her face began to fill with amusement.  The hand that I had blocked slid closer to me as she stepped forward and grabbed the fabric of my robe.  Then she suddenly spun around and pulled me over her shoulder, throwing me to the ground.

I broke the fall and shot back up, astounded at her movements.  How had she even been able to move her arm like that?  I lifted my foot to kick her, and she blocked it with both arms.  When my first foot touched the ground and I started a roundhouse with the other, trying to break through her defenses she was already waiting for me.  She caught my foot and spun me to the ground again.  This time I was waiting for that move.  It was an exhibition of skill, a spar, the match that had erupted between us, and I knew all of her moves already.  That was the one skill that I had to beat her.  As far as unarmed combat went, Sango would win nine times out of ten.  I was used to fighting with my _shakujo_.

This time when I went down, I landed on my hands and pulled my feet to my body.  Releasing them, I swiped her feet out from under her.  Her balance was perfect, and she only stumbled, immediately catching herself before she hit the ground.

I took advantage of the momentary lapse of her offense to put and keep her on the defense. A chop to the neck was barely redirected, and before she could try to slip under my attack, my knee was rising to her mid section.  Her face became more concentrated as my nail nicked her hear ear in a passing punch.  I meant it.  I was fighting as if I really wanted to hurt her.  To treat Sango any less, to not fight with all the energy and skill I had would dishonor her.  She was a remarkable fighter, and needed to be treated as such.

Another fist was ready to head to her stomach when she reacted faster than I had ever expected.  She spun on the ball of her back foot, my punch carrying me past her.  Her elbow landed on a vulnerable spot in my back, and I winced in pain.  When I turned around, she was already there.  Her callused palm knocked up my jaw to disorient me as she grabbed the fabric at my collar to help steady me when she suddenly leaned all her weight behind me and snapped back my knee with the heel of her foot.  

The sky suddenly loomed bigger as I slammed down on the ground.  I felt a bit of blood on my lips from the one strike she had managed to land on the front side of my body.  The ground was hard on my back as Sango suddenly landed on top of me, her weight heavy.  Not only had she held on to help ease my actual fall, but so that she would be carried down as well, my momentum adding to hers so that when her buttocks landed on my chest, she knocked the air out of my lungs.  Her knees descended on my shoulders as I coughed, trying to regain my air and then I felt heavy breathing in my ear.

One of her hands rested on my head, her fingers carefully surrounding the hair tied off at the base of my neck.  The other hand was nowhere to be seen, but I could feel something hard pressing into my neck.  Her body was slouched against mine, using all her weight to keep me pinned to the ground, her legs locked tightly around my torso.  I knew the power that women had in their legs.  The moment I even tried to struggle to stand or sit up, she could squeeze her thighs and slowly crush the air from my body.  Her hands, I quickly grasped, were in the killing position.  In a normal fight she would have her fingernails digging into my scalp and a knife already sliding into my exposed throat as she pulled back my head.   Instead of a knife, though I knew there were several concealed on her persons, she had picked up a stick and held it to my neck.

I wanted to congratulate her, except that I was still coughing, and I didn't know what to say.  The way her breasts grazed my shoulders when she breathed, the way I could smell the tangy scent of perspiration on her skin, they way her breath echoed in my ear, it was too much for me.  

How I wish I had asked to spar with her while we were both naked!

On second thought, the vast amount of blood I would probably loose from sudden nosebleeds would probably be enough to kill me, so maybe it was better we had been dressed.

I felt her nose brush my neck and thought I heard her take a deep breath.  Was she smelling me?  Sango sat up, a wash of cold air attacking my body when her warmth left me.  She smiled.  "You're not too bad."  Then she noticed that I was having trouble breathing and she slid off the rest of my body.  "Sorry!"

Waving my hand, I sat up, rubbing my neck where the stick had pressed against my vulnerable skin.  Finally, I was able to breathe!  Sango struck my back, trying to help.  I don't know if it did or not, but at least I knew from the Sango-sized hand prints I would grow on my back that I was still alive.

Had she smelled me?

Sango leaned close, slowly reaching out to touch my lips.  I became frozen.  I didn't even bother to look at her.  I was too busy looking at myself.  I had a very large problem quickly developing, and if it didn't stop soon, I was going to need to find a cold spring very quickly.  Too bad I couldn't run away.  Besides the fact that I didn't think I could run very well, the way that Sango was gently wiping the blood from my mouth was too pleasant a sensation.

Her brown eyes filled up and I knew she was going to apologize again.  I reached up and gently traced her ear.  I knew I had caught her, but apparently it wasn't bad enough to bleed.  Sango turned as frozen as I had been a moment ago.  Then she suddenly pulled her head back so that my chin touched her cheek.  She moved her cheek gently over my fingertips, her chin now and again touching my palm as she moved, carefully avoiding the Buddha beads and the center of my palm.  It made me wonder why.  Was it a fear of opening the kazaana that made her caress so gentle, or was it a repulsion?  Maybe it was neither.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Sango.  It was a good fight.  You won fair and square.  I should have blocked it, and if I didn't want to get hurt, I shouldn't have started the fight in the first place.  I'm a man, I can take it."  I wouldn't be a man for much longer if she caught the rising bulge in my robes.  When she looked away, I tried to fix it and to think of something that would make the problem disappear.  'Uh… Inuyasha coming on to me.  Inuyasha's coming on to me….'  

It didn't work very well.  First Inuyasha turned into Sango.  I tried it again, and somehow Kagome popped up and began making out with Inuyasha.  Then I started wishing that Sango and I were touching each other like that.  I could almost feel her flesh under my hand shiver as I cupped her breast.  I would smell her and hear her heartbeat quicken as my lips roamed down her neck.  She… wait.  I didn't have ears like that, so… she could be feeling my arms instead of my ears.  Delicious.  One hand would slip around and undo her hair.  It would cascade around her shoulders as her hands slipped down, exploring my body further.    

She would cling to me, wanting every touch and sigh as much as I, as I lowered her body from the ground.  Her yukata would be spread out on the ground, along with my outer robe.  My inner robe, as I would undo my robes in front of her, watching the delight and expectancy on her face as I slowly revealed my body to hers.  I would crawl over, kissing her skin as I went. My tongue would dart between her swollen lips, giving her a soothing, loving kiss before I explored her body further. 

Her fingers would entwine in my hair as I liked the smooth skin of her chest, my warm mouth encircling her nipple, easing sighs and returned touches from my lover.  Her back would arch as my teeth grazed her skin, and she would shudder with pleasure, fire darting from her chest to the treasure I sought, waiting for my touch, wanting to beg for it but being too proud.   _Miroku__…_

"Miroku?"

Sango leaned over me, wondering why I was suddenly looking lost.  She felt my forehead, pursing her lips.  "I didn't knock your head to hard with that palm strike, did I?"

I shook my head no, her body suddenly burning hot where it touched mine.  Hell, where it even came close to mine I felt like it was burning.  Yet it was pleasant, not painful.  Her fingertips laying upon my cheeks, her breath washing over my skin at ever exhale, the way her nose was almost touching mine.

Wait.

When did she get that close to me?

Sango's eyes closed, her long lashes dark even against her red cheeks.  She closed the gap between us, our mingling breaths parting so she could touch her lips to mine.  Her mouth covered mine, and still I felt frozen.  I realized that unless I acted she would think that I didn't want her to kiss me, when in reality I had been thinking about this all the time.  I raised my hand, planning on wrapping my arms around her and kissing her as I had just imagined.  She tasted so good!  So sweet, so soft and careful!  But she pulled away.  She hadn't even noticed that I hadn't kissed her back. In the end it remained nothing but a chaste kiss, practically void of any emotion at all.  Except that she had been so careful!

She licked her lips, ridding them of the red liquid that had darkened their natural color.  Sango touched her lips hesitantly, contemplating what she had just done.  I would contemplate that too, as soon as I was thinking straight again.  She patted my shoulder and stood up.  "Thank you, at least, for not going easy on me just because I'm a woman or a friend.  Maybe later I could teach you a few more blocks?  You let yourself open quite often.  And you need to control your punches, otherwise you'll go off balance every time you miss."

I nodded. Oh, Sango was starting to understand me quite well.

She returned in a split second with Kagome's biology books.  She set it up on the tent forming under my robes in a brisk manner.  Then she winked at me –somehow managing to pull it off without losing her thoughtful expression- and departed.

Picking up the biology book, I turned to the page Sango had been studying before I had interrupted her, and decided to take care of the problem that had greatly expanded with my short fantasy and her sweet kiss.

It seemed almost a crime to imagine hearing Sango moan in pleasure after such a chaste kiss.

Almost.


	6. Sensei

Dressing Wounds

AN:  I hate exams and I hate essays!!!!!!

Okay, now that that's out of my system, I figured that since I had a bad day, it doesn't mean that you guys all have to have a bad day too! ^^  And reviews make me happy, and I hope that fluffy updates make you happy, so… here's an update!

**Lily Thorne**: I agree.  It did take her long enough to kiss him. ^^  And now that that lovely hurdle is out of the way, it means that there will be lots of fun kissing stuff.  Thank you for not letting Sango be taken advantage of.  I guess that my friends have just rubbed off on me.  I mean, she carries around the haraikotsu all day!  If I was used to carrying around something like that, I'd be flipping people left front and center!

**Aamalie**:  Sorry I still haven't reviewed your fic, hon. -_-  Things have been kind of hectic lately, and will be until the 26th, when I will finally be done all my exams and I won't feel so depressed, or so… whatever. -_-'  But I did love the chapter, and I did love it, I just need to think of how I am going to write that in a review.  And yes, Miroku was having a nice little fantasy in the middle of the last chapter.

**San San**: Hopefully by the end of the story you can still say that.  ^^

**Mistume**:  Um… might have a long time to wait until he gets _really_ naked.  I apologize for that one. ^^  But the karma sutra book can easily be mended.  Hey, if I were Kagome, I'd totally give Miroku a Karma Sutra for his birthday. ^^  Of course, it would lead to some kind of paradox, but you know what?  It would be worth it.

**Quistis**: You have no idea how awesome that comment was after getting back an essay that called my writing style, among other things, superficial.  That one really burned… Then again, I can write stories, so of course I fail miserably at poems and essays. -_-

**Corisu**** Li**:  Giant battles I can't write… but anything that I learned in Karate Do class is so totally going in here. ^_^

**Silver Amaryllis**: If you think last chapter was interesting… what I put my characters through is so utterly cruel sometimes… *hangs head in shame*  Pop up things should die.  Die a horrible death.  Something from Poe horrible.

Anyway, enjoy!  Not the fluffiest chapter yet, but I hope you all find it amusing!!

Chapter 6: Sensei

            Thanks to a certain lying monk's story about an evil spirit and a quick execution of said evil spirit, we found ourselves in a busy inn the next night.  After a large, warm dinner compliments of the relieved caretakers, I wandered the halls, trying to find Miroku.  He wasn't in his room.  Passing by the kitchen, I found him in the kitchen talking to a woman.  Instead of hiding, I leaned on the frame of the door with my arms crossed, listening.

            "I learned this from a village woman in the town that some of my companions originate from.  This particular herb can strengthen the parts of us that protect us from disease," he said, offering the woman a dried herb.  "It can easily be slipped into food.  But this herb I've never seen before.  What does it do?"

           The old woman smiled, cracking a toothless grin.  Miroku didn't even flinch at seeing her gummy smile.  She laughed.  "It is said to be an aphrodisiac."

            His eyes widened, and something made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.  Unnoticed, I slipped further into the kitchen and found a child sitting on Miroku's lap.  She played with the beads on his right hand, but his hand was fisted so that she couldn't accidentally release the wind tunnel.  For a brief moment this concerned me, wondering if maybe I really had hit him too hard yesterday during our brief fight, but then I saw that his knuckles were white from the pressure.  He was certainly holding his hand very tightly.  

            Nodding, the woman picked up the herb of which he had inquired.  "It is native to this part of Japan.  It can easily be grinded down to a fine powder and sprinkled over food or cooked with it, lending a rather spicy flavor to it.  Because of this, only a little bit is needed, otherwise you may find it too hot."  She looked up and saw me, and handed Miroku the herb.  "I have plenty.  Why don't you take it with you?  It might be nice to use on a special night."

            Miroku accepted the gift and then stood up when she did.  The woman hobbled around the edge of the corner to lift the girl from his lap.  It was then I noticed that the girl's hair was practically non-existent, and that her skin was badly burned, healing in patches.  She was probably too young to learn not to scratch.  He also noticed that I was there, and I swear he blushed.  I nodded to the elder before she left, leaving Miroku and I alone.  

            "What was all that about?" I asked.

           He scratched the back of his neck as he answered.  "We were trading remedies."  He couldn't scratch it to his liking, so I reached up and did it for him.  He smiled at me.  "The child's house burned down a little over a month ago, but her wounds refuse to close because she's so active.  I gave them the recipe for a paste to help the burns close, and then one thing led to another, and now I have an aphro… this."  He held up the plant and I patted his back.  I recognized that look.  Had he finished that word, he was probably going to ask me to help him try out its authenticity, simply 'out of habit'.

            "Come on, Miroku.  There's an exercise yard out back.  Inuyasha's just finished practicing with Tetsusaiga, so it's free for us to use.  I promised to show you a few blocks, remember?"

            The monk smiled.  He remembered.  Judging from his smile, I'd gladly bet that he was remembering what had happened before I had promised to teach him a few more blocks.  I'd even bet that he was hoping it would happen again.

            Would it happen again?  That was hard to say.  However, if it did, I don't think that I would mind.  His lips had still been bloody when I kissed him, so I couldn't say for certain what they felt or tasted like, but I bet that I would like it.  If he happened to kiss me back, then I really wouldn't mind that either.

            I reached out and took his hand, holding it against my side.  It had been a nice picture, the little girl and the old woman talking with Miroku.  I truly doubt that I would tell him that however.  

            We walked out to the courtyard, where there was a fenced off section of soft dirt.  It was already marked up because of Inuyasha, but each day they probably raked it over to ensure that the earth stayed loose. Loose earth was gentler to land on, and you could get better grip when you dug your feet into the dirt.  Miroku stared at me when I knelt and took of my shoes.  I tugged on his robes, indicating that he should follow.  

"You can take a bath afterwards, Miroku.  Lesson number one: fighting is dirty.  If you expect to go into a lesson as clean as you start off, you're going to be very disappointed."  I walked out to the field, letting the dirt squish between my toes.  Sometimes, I loved that feeling.  All I wanted now was a gentle rain to take the heat off of my skin and to make little pools of mud and I would feel just like a little kid.  Miroku followed me.  I indicated where he should stand and then I began to unwind my obi, the belt that secured my regular robe.

"Lesson number two: feel the dirt underneath your feet.  Get a good feel for it.  A good fighter can feel that warmth and security, the feeling of being rooted to the earth even in sandals, or even in the shoes that Kagome wears."  

Chances are the lesson was unnoticed when I folded my yukata over the fence by our shoes.  I couldn't very well fight in it the way I wanted to.  It was slightly too tight when it came to doing rooted stances or kicks.  I was hoping that Miroku would let me fight him as a practice after I taught him a few things.  It would probably be an easy win, judging from the way that he was already staring at me.  I was wearing the slaying uniform, minus the coral armor that I usually wore.  So, basically… 'skin tight leather cat suit', as Kagome called.  True, I _was _covered up from neck to ankles, but it was a very tight fit.  

I stood in front of Miroku, and he snapped back to attention.  I rolled my eyes, trying very hard not to laugh at the way his back was so stiff.  "Miroku, will you relax?  You can't learn properly if you're impersonating a tree.  Now then, first off, exercises."

"I knew that," he said quietly, following me as I began stretching my arms.  He didn't even lose his attention and started following my breasts.  I was quite proud of him.

"Miroku, at this point, I somehow doubt that you're remembering to swallow."  Again I had to try hard not to smile when he purposely made an act of swallowing.  All right, I had been told: just because Miroku was a male it didn't mean that he couldn't concentrate even when breasts were staring him in the face.

After all, that wasn't where his area of interests lay.

In the middle of exercising, I felt myself start to turn a bit red.  I wanted to get something off my chest before we started.  I just –still- hadn't thought of a way to say what was on my mind.  Finally, drawing out the ankle exercises longer than necessary, I knew that I couldn't wait any longer. 

"Thank you for not flirting with any other women in the town," I said quietly.  My eyes flickered up to see a look of surprise on his face.  Then he smiled at me, and we got down to business.

"First of all, let's see your fighting stance for unarmed combat."  He shifted his feet into a very clumsy looking cat stance.  "Okay, now then, show me… a middle block in that position."  The block was well done, and only someone who was interested in being perfect could have complained.  "Now, a middle punch."  Miroku moved his fist to attack, over extending his arm in the process.  He also did it as if he were picking daisies.  I tapped my foot on the ground.  I loved the squishy dirt.  "Do it like you mean it!  Pretend that your enemy is standing right in front of you and that you can take him out and save a hundred people from knocking the wind from his lungs!"  This time he put feeling behind it and accidentally exposed one side of his body from overreaching the punch.

Okay.  Now I knew what to look for.

I bent down at his side and moved one of his feet for him.  The other one was just fine.  "This is how I want you to stand when you're doing exercises with me from now on."

"Sango pose. Got it."

I corrected him on the name, touched none the less.  "The stance will also work when you need to use your staff.  Your feet should always be shoulder length apart, the heels flush with your big toe or so.  No!  Don't look down!  Just dig into the earth.  Let the land tell you if you have it correctly or not.  We'll work on movement from that position."

Miroku stood normally for a moment, raising an eyebrow.  "Sango, I thought you said that you were going to teach me to fix my balance and a few more blocks.  What does stance have to do with any of that?"

"You'll see by the time we finish, Miroku.  I promise."  I patted both his shoulders, pleased to feel that muscle that I had eyed for so long when cleaning his wounds.  I moved over to the side.  "Now then, let's work on your attacks.  Back in your stance, please."

"Yes, Sensei."  He saw my astonished expression and grinned at me, looking like a little child who was getting pleasure from toying with my mind.  He probably was.  "Well, you are teaching me, so it's only proper that I should call you by that proper title."  He sank back into the position I showed him.

"Good.  Now," I said, folding my arms over my chest, "what's all this about calling me 'teacher'?  I was showing you the proper respect, and you told me to call you Miroku.  You're my elder.  Would you prefer that I called you Miroku-sempai?"

"As long as my name is falling from your lips instead of that 'monk' nonsense, I will always be happy."  His velvety voice was responded with a moment of heavy silence as I tried to think of what to say.  When I could think of nothing to say to that, he shrugged, still awaiting further instructions.  "Or I could continue calling you simply by your normal name.  One day, however, may I call you something like 'Sango my love' or 'Sango the…'"

Shaking my head, I cut him off, amused as I was by his antics.  "Middle punch.  You don't have to put any feeling in it like I asked you to a moment ago.  Just punch as you normally would."  He did as I asked and I took his arm. "Alright Miroku, your middle block is pretty good.  The punch is a lot like that block that you just showed me.  Your arm shouldn't be extended this much.  You could hurt yourself.  It should be like this.  See?...."

I stopped, looking at his arm.  I let go of his hand.  "Miroku, you're going to have to disrobe.  You can't see your muscles in this light, so how do you know how it's supposed to look when it's right?"

He scratched his head.  "Ah, but Sango, you said I was supposed to move by feeling instead of by sight.  Shouldn't the same go for punches?"  He began to remove his upper robes anyway.  Miroku was hardly an exhibitionist, but somehow I had a feeling that he didn't mind showing me his body.  Why else would he have offered to strip?

"Yes, but I can't see what I'm doing.  How do I know that I'm showing you a strike properly unless I can see your arm?"  He hung his robes up near my belongings, and then returned to the little corner we had taken up for our lessons.  I took his arm again, my mind so focused on the fun I was having teaching him that didn't waste my time by checking out his chest.  I fixed his strike for him.  "There.  This is how punches should feel.  Your strikes themselves are okay, your fist is proper, your wrist straight so that you don't break your wrist.  That's excellent.  Now then, this curve here...."

His gaze was on a different set or curves, and I followed his gaze further down to look at his feet.  "Hey, Miroku, how rough can I be with you in teaching you stuff?"

"As I can't seem to come up with a way to sugar coat this answer: you can be as rough as you want with me, Sango."

"Fine.  What did I tell you about your stance?"  His gaze went from my derriere to his feet and he immediately corrected his stance.  It was too late. "Ten pushups after I finish with your strikes.  …And another five for looking at my ass when I'm trying to help you.  Now then, you see the way that you arm curves here?  This should be present in all of your punches.  A fully extended, locked arm like you were using leads to unnecessary injuries.  Pushups."

I took a seat on the fence posts, watching him do his pushups, counting, just to be certain that he didn't shirk any.  Not that I think Miroku's a cheater, just that he isn't the most honest of men.  The way that he lies to get us a room for the night bothers me more than the fact that he'll sleep with women.  One is natural, the other one shouldn't be and can easily be avoided.  What's worse is that I enjoy sleeping on mattresses.  So I guess I can't complain when I enjoy the spoils of his lie.

Did I mention that I also admired his physique from the fence post?

Maybe sooner or later I should bring up the matter of his lying… back to the physique.

When he was done, I nodded approvingly and jumped off the post.  "You know horse-stance, right?"  Miroku groaned, and I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing at his pained expression.  That was the sound of somebody who had learned horse-stance.  I sunk down into the position, and after a quick glance to check out my body from this new position, he followed suit.  "Alright.  Now, do you know the drill high-middle-low?  Good.  Guess what we're practicing for the next twenty minutes."

His jaw fell open.  "Twenty… yes, sensei."

In unison we followed the sequence.  After the first five minutes I allowed him to stand up and rest his legs.  The stance I had him in earned so many groans because it was one that worked all the muscles from the calves to the gluteus maximus.  I kept the stance.  Miroku was lucky.  When he got in trouble, he got pushups.  When I had gotten in trouble during lessons, I had gotten both, just because I was a girl.  It wasn't that they were singling me out for my sex.  It was because I needed to work harder at developing my upper body muscles, and since most of a woman's natural strength comes from the middle muscles, they wanted that to become stronger as well.

Two more sets later, I motioned for Miroku to stand in front of me and sink down to the correct stance.  "Okay, time for drills.  High-middle-low again, but as I attack, you block, and vice versa.  We'll start off slowly and gain speed."

We started off just like that, picking up speed each time I returned to attacking.  Soon the attacks became more realistic, our blows and blocks striking against each other with more ferocity.  Again, our speed increased, until we weren't thinking about what we were doing.  When it came my turn to attack again, I began to slow down, taking us back to our starting speed, and finally stopping altogether.  Both of us had worked up a sweat and were breathing heavily.  I slapped his shoulder. 

"Congratulations.  You just spent ten minutes in horse-stance."  I wearily stood up.  I hadn't gone twenty minutes in that stance for a few days.  Imagining how Miroku would feel when he tried to stand up, I knew that I was still in good shape.  I helped him up, and brought him his robes, as well as a glass of water from the canteen I had brought out with me.  "A warm soak will help ease out those muscles."

"Are you sure that you couldn't just rub them for me?" he asked with a charming smile.  He tried to guzzle the water, but knew otherwise.  "Please tell me that we aren't going to do this tomorrow night as well.  If I start doing that every night, Inuyasha's going to kill me because I won't be able to walk."

Shrugging, I settled on an answer.  "How about every other night?  It gives you some time to be by yourself and relax after a hard day's walk, but not enough time so that you'll forget everything you learned and lose everything you just gained by working out." 

He nodded, and began heading back to the inn.  "Aren't you coming with me?" he asked, looking back at me.

I shook my head no, already starting into a kata and doing it as slowly as possible to increase my balance, resisting every move I made to work my muscles.  "I need to get a bit more exercise in.  Don't worry, I won't stay up late."

Sighing at the idea of waiting longer to clean off the dirt that caked his feet, hands, and whatever had hit the dirt as he did pushups, he climbed up on the fence post.  Miroku wrapped his robes lazily around his shoulders.  "It wouldn't be right for me to turn in and leave you out here by yourself.  Besides, it's a nice night."

He waited patiently as I ran through two exercises, but on the third he was beginning to feel nervous.  I could tell from the way his gaze kept slipping from me to look at the ground or his hands.  He was debating a conversation.

"You know, just because I'm exercising, it doesn't mean that I have to be silent.  If you want to talk with me, I will answer you, Miroku."

"Well, I was thinking that it seems kind of unfair.  You're taking time out of your life to teach me something, but in return, you're not getting anything.  Isn't there something that you would like me to teach you?  There's meditation, or I could… I don't know.  I'm kind of out of ideas after that."

Finishing my third exercise, I climbed up next to him on the fence post, accepting the canteen from him.  After taking a sip, I moved closer, leaning my head on his pecs, causing him to wrap an arm around my waist to avoid falling off the fence.  "There is something I would like, Miroku.  I'd like the learn how to speak like you.  The way that when you're trying to speak to me, you can do it so easily and your voice changes and…."  I wasn't asking him very well for what I wanted, so I tried again.  

"I want to learn how to flirt, how to seduce.  The most I can do is blush.  Half the time, I don't even mean to do that.  Flirting isn't exactly a necessity for becoming a demon hunter.  But I would like to know that when you try to seduce me I can do more than blush and avoid your gaze.  Half the problem is that I barely even know what flirting _is_, but I like what you do.  You can sway people so easily with your words.  I would like to be able to do that, but when I try to be as poetic or as inventive as you, it just sounds… silly."

Miroku gravely nodded.  "Ah, I see.  Well, that's easy, Sango.  It sounds silly because the poetry is from here."  He tapped his chest.  "It comes straight from the heart.  So when I tell you that against the night sky when you move your body to the music of the ancient battle drum you look like a warrior from ancient legend, I mean it deeply.  Or when I say that I would like to see you with only your hair hiding your body from my hungry gaze, I mean it."

I shivered at the image he had painted for me, of his eyes ready to devour me, his gaze hunting me like… like prey.  I didn't like that idea at all!  Oh, it was arousing, I assure you.  My heart skipped a beat, but then it skipped another one.  I wasn't prey.  I wasn't something that deserved to be stalked.  

His fingers ran under my chin.  It felt good.  I momentarily forgot about the chill that had dived into my stomach.  He lifted my face up to his, and I offered no resistance.  I enjoyed the way his fingers were so soft as they guided me, the way his scent was so strong with his robes out of the way.  

"That's something I would like very much.  I would love to see you move for me the way you do for the night sky."  His fingers slipped down my throat and played with the buttons on my collar.  "I would love to watch you dance with your hair unbound.  I want to see you smile, not a smile as you laugh at me, but a real smile."  His cheek rubbed against mine.  

"I think that if I ever saw you laughing and dancing like that, I would be so moved that I would want you more than ever.  I would grab you and whisper sweet nothings in you ear, taking you to my bedroom.  There I would stand in front of you, watching your expression as I undid my robes.  After they fell to the floor, I would start to undress you.  My eyes would devour you, followed by my lips as a burning hunger consumed me."

Again with the idea of consumption, as if he had killed me and planned on tearing the flesh from my bones.  

"When I had all of you at my fingertips, I would push my clothes off the rest of the way and then I would lay you down on my mattress.  Then, I…."

"Miroku…." I placed my hand against his chest, trying to gain his attention.  He was too far gone into his own fantasy.  He wasn't aware that my rising temperature was from my anger, or that my skin was ice cold.  I didn't like the way he was talking.

Frankly, it scared me.

"…kiss you, just like this."

His lips pressed against mine.  My protest was muffled, and my hand pressed harder against his chest, trying to push him off of me.  However, he'd had had time recuperate from working out while I hadn't.  Also, he was taller, using his height to bow me back, a dangerous position on a wooden fence.  His taste, the touch of him, everything I had wanted to enjoy about this moment was ruined.  He was gentle, yes, I was able to register that before his tongue licked my bottom lip, seeking to find a way to enter my mouth.  That was when I gave him a good hard kick in the shins.  Screw trying to push him away, I just wanted to breathe again!

His mouth released mine, wincing.  With my hand still on his chest, I shoved him off the fence, sending him backwards into the dirt.  Jumping off the wooden structure, I quickly threw my yukata on over my outfit, glaring down at him.  Glaring, like blushing, was something that required no training and was something that women –I especially- seemed to be able to do naturally.

"Miroku, get this through your thick skull!  Just because I say that I may be seduced, or because I want you to prove that you can be the person that I know you can be by being faithful and sincere and un-perverted and… and stuff!  That does _not_ mean that I am some type of a conquest for you to… to mount once you've gotten me cornered like some sort of animal!"

Without even giving him a chance to defend himself, I marched off the battlefield and into the bathhouse.  As mad as I was, I wasn't about to go traipsing through the inn, tracking dirt everywhere.  Besides, I needed a bath.  I needed to get the touch and scent of that… _monk_ out of my skin and hair.

Hair.  Did he know how often he played with my hair, or had made mention of it? 


	7. Amber

Dressing Wounds

Chapter 7: Amber

            As I had sent Inuyasha off to hunt for supper, and I had heard Kagome and Shippo returning from their bath with no sign of Sango as I was collecting firewood, I immediately set out for the hot springs.  There always seemed to be a hot spring where we camped.  They were frequent enough, and it saved the women from complaining about cold water or the scent of an unwashed dog-demon.

            Approaching the springs, I needed to find some way of letting her know I was approaching.   "Sango?"  I heard the sound of quickly moving water and sighed.  "Relax.  I can't actually see you.  I just wanted to know if we could talk.  I won't look.  I swear that I won't."

           I waited for an answer, and got nothing.  I moved a bit closer, walking backwards.  I was trusting Sango a lot on this, even if she wasn't aware of it.  I could walk right into an awaiting bone boomerang, or right into the hot springs, unless she warned me.  I felt the last of the shrubs give way, the sound of water increasing.

            "I swear on Kohaku.  You know that I respect you.  I would never break on oath made on the head of someone you love."

            She was quiet, and I took her silence as an acceptance.  I sat down on the grassy bank cross-legged.  Finally, she spoke, and what she said distressed me.

            "Once I knew that you respected me and wouldn't break an oath like that.  Now I don't know."  Water splashed against the rocks.  I could feel her gaze on my back.  "How can you say that you respect me and then treat me as if all I am is a prize to be won?  When I gave you that challenge, Miroku, I expected it to be one of wits, not me defending my body against you and your 'devouring eyes'!"

            When she was silent, I responded.  "I'm afraid that in this instance, we're both wrong, Sango.  You see, I did not expect you to take it so seriously.  Nor did I assume that you would think that I was in fact, being realistic instead of metaphoric.  Obviously my words frightened you, and kissing you didn't help that matter.  There are only a few things that I said last night that I was being serious about.  I want to see you smile.  I want to hear you laugh, and watch you dance.  Not the type of dancing performed by geishas, mind you, but… how Kagome looks after we win a fight, to watch you be happy and celebrating life.  Also, I do want to kiss you again, but next time I will wait until you kiss me back before I move on to anything else.  I fear that I mistook your defiance as surprise at being kissed and nothing else.

            "Lastly, as much as I'm sure that you don't want to hear it, should I ever see you naked, it probably would be best to describe as devouring, Sango.  I yearn to see you like that, without the hindrance of any vestments.  You're a beautiful woman, Sango.  First and foremost in my mind, you are a slayer, and secondly, a woman.  I would never for a second think of you as a conquest, Sango.  A handful, yes; trouble, most definitely; but as a conquest?  Never."

            I lifted my head.  I want to look her in the eyes, but I had promised not to look.  "I realize that right now you're probably mistrustful of me, and that's more than understandable.  As you pointed about, I'm sure in how I feel.  I wish that I could just come straight out and tell you what I think of you and how much you mean to me, but I fear that may do more damage than good.  You aren't sure of your emotions towards me, and nor are you sure of exactly how much I think of you.  You know that I would do anything to protect you, and I would.  Yet you worry that this might only be passing fancy.  I assure you, Sango, that it's not.  In all my life I've never met anyone like you."

            I stood up, preparing to leave.  In my talking, I hadn't noticed that she had gotten out of the water and dressed in her yukata until her hand wrapped around mine.  I turned around to look at her, smiling at the way her hair touched her shoulders.  "Your hair cut does look nice, though."

            She pulled me back down so that we could sit down together.  I hoped that she was going to move over and lean against me again.  I wanted to wrap my arm around her, but I worried that if I did, she would assume something again and ruin whatever I had just been able to mend.  "You know why I did it, don't you?"

            My eyebrows knotted as I tried to think of why she would want to cut her hair.  It was a very nice cut.  She pulled it back into a tight bun, ready for a fight at anytime.  It made her look a little older, and rather sophisticated the way it hung when it was down.  "I imagine that all that hair would be quite a weight to carry around, and the child you gave it to so that she can use it until her own hair grows back I know would be happy."  I watched as she took her chopsticks and wound up her wet hair, pinning it in place.  I tried to give her a teasing smile.  "And because it means you can hide weapons in it?"

            "Since we started sneaking away to talk, do you know how many times you've played with my hair?  Because I've lost count.  So when I thought you might be after me only because you found me attractive, I thought that since you liked playing with my hair so much that by cutting it you wouldn't find me so attractive."

            I felt her hand squeeze mine. Well, at least she didn't hate me enough not to hold my hand.  I squeezed hers back.  I might have laughed, but the situation was too serious.  "That would never happen.  I… I want to show you how much I respect your intelligence and your fighting skills, and everything else good that I see in you, but I don't know how."

            "Well," Sango said slowly, "for fighting skills, not going soft on me when we spar is a good way to start.  As for the rest, I don't know. I really don't know anything, Miroku.  Not when the topic is us.  I don't know what I want from you, what I feel for you, how I like being talked to, or held….  Which is why I want to apologize for jumping to conclusions.  It… it scared me, Miroku.  Sometimes I really like it when you speak to me in that voice you use sometimes, and I like the things that you say.  But that one scared me.  I guess deep down… I like the stuff that sounds like poetry.  I'd take back what I said before.  If last night was you trying to seduce me, then I think I would like to be… romanced."

            "Whatever the lady wishes, it is my duty to provide."  This time, I was actually able to smile at her, and she responded with a blush.  I leaned my forehead on her shoulder, and she placed her head on mine.  Her hair was wet and cold, but I didn't care.  "Still, I don't know what you were complaining about when you said that you wanted to learn to flirt.  I think your blushing is a wonderful response to anything.  The color looks good on you, and when I see it, I remember that I can't say that you're a warrior first and a woman second, because… you're simply Sango.  A female warrior who blushes, who smells like citrus and can beat me any day of the week with one hand tied behind her back."

She rubbed her face against my hair.  "That's the stuff I like hearing.  I would very much like to tell you exactly what I think of you, Miroku, but first and foremost I think of you of a pervert."

            I snuck my head from off her shoulder.  "Would you like to know a secret?"  My gaze met hers and I gave her a broad smile.  "Lately, I would have to agree with you.  I continuously find myself looking forward to the half hour we're able to spend alone each day.  For instance, we were both there with the incident of the biology book."

            Looking at me a second, she covered her mouth and heard a few drops of honeyed laughter fall from her hidden lips.  Her brown eyes closed, and the sound suddenly doubled.  My jaw dropped as I heard her laugh.  The notes made all the worry and awkwardness of the last day melt away, and as she shoulders began to shake with the action, I felt my body become lighter.  Her innocent laughter was blowing away all of lingering pain I felt in my body from our last battle, of the horrible nightmares I had about losing Sango or one of my other companions, everything bad just fluttered into the breeze.

            "My God!  That was so amusing!  You have no idea how hard it was not to start laughing at your predicament!  You were trying so hard not to let me notice, and then I saw the book as I was about to leave, I couldn't resist… just propping it up on you!"  Her laughter doubled.

            Reaching out, my fingers slid into her palm and gently took her hand away from her face, so that I could see her again.  Her soft lips were bright red from the blood rushing to her face, cupping her burning cheeks.  Her eyes slowly opened, finding my staring at her smiling face, and her smile softened.  She just smiled at me, her eyes so… I don't even know how to describe it.  They were… divine.

            "Miroku…."

            I let go of her hands to grab her shoulders, drawing her into my arms and holding on to her with every bit of strength in my heart.  "Shit, Sango!  I've been waiting _forever_ to hear you laugh and smile at me like that!" Her arms slowly returned my hug, just in time for me to pull her off my chest so I could see that smile again.  I placed my hand against her cheek, running my thumb over the curve of her lips.  My other hand took her other cheek and I angled her face up to mine so that I could kiss her, mimicking the kiss she had first given me.  Then my hands settled back on her hips and I was comforted and happy simply holding her.  "And the way that you said my name, the way that you laugh… don't ever change, Sango.  You're perfect just the way that you are."

            Her back stiffened, hesitantly, just for half a second.  She didn't like the idea of being worshipped, and that's what she feared I was doing.  Sango whispered my name again, and it sounded like a sacred word, something so special that it wasn't supposed to even be spoken out loud.  "I don't know if I can do that.  I think that I will have to change, as I grow up.  I just hope that whatever I become, that you'll like it as much as you like me now."  Her fingers tightened.  She didn't want to let me go either.  "And that I hope that you'll be there with me to watch the changes firsthand."

            My skin suddenly turned icy, then it changed again, feeling like sparks of cinders running through my veins instead of blood.  Was this a sign that she wanted a life together after all the shards were all collected?  Was she…. No.  That was just my imagination.  She wanted me to be there as a friend, not as a husband or life-partner.  At first I was disappointed, but when I reflected upon it further, I realized that she had just, in her own way, told me that no matter what, we would always be friends.  As well as a tiny, nearly unnoticeable prayer that we would be able to always be friends in the case that nothing bad would happen to either of us.

            Even if it did….

            "No matter what Sango," I promised her, "I'll be there to watch you change."  Ah, wrong way of putting things.  "I mean, I'll be there to watch your grow, and learn, and love, and everything else.  I'll always be right with you, right here."  I reached down and touched her heart.

            "So," I let her go and leaned back on the bank of the hot spring, lounging dominantly.  I felt on top of the world.  I felt even better when Sango curled up next to me, putting her head in my lap.  "Now that we're going to be at the very least friends from here on in, would you mind if I ask you something?"

            Telling me to continue, I looked around, admiring the scenery and being perfectly casual.  "That handsome monk I saw you with last night, when he was bare-chested and doing sit-ups, were you actually, dare I say it as Kagome does, ogling him?"

            For a long moment she was silent.  Obviously, she was debating between the truth and lie.  She decided on truth and began to trace patterns on my legs.  "I was.  You're a very attractive person.  It's no wonder that you're willing to strip for me when you look like that."  

Sango managed to say it all with a straight face, making me chuckle.  I didn't know how she could manage to that!  To feel her eyes on me like that, I would gladly break my stance and submit to her punishment to show off.  It must sound like I was turning into an exhibitionist, but honestly, our lives are so serious that whenever we get the opportunity to be silly, we'll take it.

"Hey, Sango, I don't want to change the topic, or the nice mood that we have going on here… but I was thinking for awhile.  You had a shikon jewel shard in your back but you still managed to survive your wounds.  Can't Kohaku do the same?"  I placed my hand on her arm, rubbing up and down, feeling her hard muscles under my hand.  "I know that it would be hard for both you, him because of the pain, and you because of having to watch him be in pain, but if he's from the same family as you, deep down he has an iron core.  He can survive.  He's fighting Naraku, after all, isn't he?  I was also thinking that if we could find him when he has all his memories intact, as slim as that chance is, that we might be able to tell him that it wasn't his fault.  It wasn't his fault that he killed human beings.  He might have been old enough to send into battle, Sango, but he's still only eleven.  If you were that age, and did something beyond your control, would you realize that it wasn't really your fault?  I know that I wouldn't have."

Without allowing my hand to fall from her arm, she sat up.  "I suppose that six years ago, no, I don't think I would have.  You're right, too, that it's a very slim chance we could actually find him at that moment.  I know that Kagome and Inuyasha want to help me find a way for him to become the Kohaku I grew up with again, but Kagome's so hopeful, and Inuyasha is too because everything good in Kagome reflects in him.  I accepted a long time ago that the only way I could free Kohaku would be to kill him.  However, I had also planned… to be right behind him on the road to the afterlife."

My hand flinched.  I hadn't expected Sango to consider suicide.  Now that she knew that I loved her, would….

"Now, though, now I don't know.  Now I know all of you better than I did before.  Can I leave you three to take on Naraku alone?  Can I leave Shippo to be picked on by Inuyasha, and who will rebuild the village if both of us are gone?  Somebody other than priestesses and monks should be here to watch out for everybody else when demons come and attack.  Kirara can take care of herself, but can I leave her like that?  She's been with me since I was little.  More importantly… can I leave Kagome to be the only girl around for your hand to grope?  Somebody has to be here to curve your perversion so that Kagome won't be molested."  She sighed.  "I suppose that it's my burden to be that individual."

"Uh oh.  I think that I opened a door I shouldn't have when I got you to laugh.  Now you keep on teasing me and I don't think that I will ever be able to get a straight answer out of you."  

She turned against me and leaned upward, pressing her lips to mine to get me to shut up.  I was more than happy to comply with her wish of silence if it was a kiss that silenced me.  Her soft lips simply pressed, and then she slowly began to run her mouth over mine, our lips meeting and then parting repeatedly, allowing us to take little breaths between each one.

Pulling away, she looked back at the springs, her cheeks bright red.  "Well, that certainly is one way to stop your rambling," she said softly.  Sango licked her lips, her pink tongue flitting across the skin to capture our mixing tastes.

I could take a hint.  She wanted to change the topic.  My hand still on her shoulder, I pulled her close.  I could accept the change of topic, but I thought I needed a little more convincing.  "Sango, I know that we just agreed to watch out for each other and always remain at least friends, but please?  Will you promise me something?  Promise me that you won't leave me like that, promise me that you'll stay with me.  Please, don't leave me.  Not by your own hand."

She looked up at me, into my dark eyes already lined with worries that should dwell on no man my age.  I returned her gaze sternly.  Death was a part of life.  It deserved respect, it had rules to follow as life did, and eventually what death claimed from life, life would again claim from death.  If Sango killed herself, then she would not be able to become a part of that cycle, and we wouldn't have a second chance.  Realizing this, maybe even having realized it subconsciously long ago, I clung to her so tightly that she let out a peep.  I would rather die myself than let death claim Sango, and the scary thing was that there was a very real chance my oath might have to come true.

"All right," she quietly promised.  Her nodding head rubbed her soft hair against my chest.  "I promise you, Miroku.   If I leave you, it won't be by my own hand."

"Good."  My mutter was partially cut off as I lowered my head, snaking under hers to come up and kiss her.  Gently, I continued where we had left off, my lips grazing her lips again and again, until she began to respond.  She was already close, and I leaned back, drawing her with me until we were laying on our sides on the grass.  I slipped my hand to her cheek, winding the tips of my fingers into her hair.  Her hand fell to my waist, the one under me supporting my neck and toying with my earring.  Our legs entwined together as our mouths danced together, now barely touching and then trying to best each other.  

I took no chance at ruining the moment, the fingers in her hair the only part of me other than my lips that moved.  Her leg rubbed against mine to the rhythm of our kisses.  Her breasts grazed my chest when she took a deep breath.  I felt like I had found my perfect match, and by the hot springs, that we were the only people in the world.  At that moment it kind of bothered me to think that Sango might be thinking about the way the waves were crashing on the rocks, or wondering what had caused a certain rustle of a leaf.  I wanted her instead to be thinking about the way that my body and hers melted together, to think about what it might feel like without the clothing between us when our bodies touched, our just the way we were so content to lay next to each other without our hands exploring each other and to just kiss.  Not even kiss deeply at that.

I was happy.  I….

"Sango?  What's taking so long?"  Kagome's voice was close and getting closer.

Bolting up, I wondered why Sango hadn't been able to hear her approaching.  We looked at each other.  Sango's yukata was open to her waist, her stomach plainly visible.  Alas, nothing but her stomach showed.  We both had blades of grass in our hair, and our lips were swollen and red from kissing.  I took her hand and placed it on her chest so that she was holding her dress closed.  Then, seeing a flash of familiar green and red breaking through the foliage, I did the most logical and dangerous thing I could come up with.

"It's a good thing they're coming along now, Sango.  We don't have a biology book."

Grabbing her shoulders, I gave her a kiss goodbye.  Straightening my back to be taller than her, I pushed her back down on the grass and mashed my lips against hers.  I heard a muffled protest that was about to turn into a sigh before I reached down and grabbed her derriere.  Ah, bliss.  Soft, smooth, bliss… made even more delicious by the fact that this time there was only a thin yukata between her flesh and my palm.  I heard a gasp from Kagome, but didn't care.  I had taken the opportunity to deepen our kiss once, but this time… it was my _duty_ to play the lecher.

My tongue darted between her lips.  I felt her lashes brush my cheek as her eyes widened at this new sensation. How can I possibly describe her taste, her feeling?  Soft and warm, tight because she was so unprepared; not sweet, but not bad; her taste strong but so overwhelming that after less than a second it became a pleasant tingling.

Fearing the growl that was coming from her, her nails digging into my back and the damage her teeth could do if she was truly mad, I pulled away and up, staring down at her.  "San…."

SLAP!

She slid out from under me, and pushed me back into the hot springs.  I was soaked instantly, from head to toe, and was left sputtering.  She scooped up her belongings and threw the soap at my head.  I tried to catch it but missed.  It was a slippery thing to catch. 

"Pervert!"  She grabbed Kagome's arm and stomped off.  Even for me, it was impossible to tell if she was mad or not.  I noticed that she paused, touching her lips, her anger melting into a thoughtful expression.  No, she wasn't mad.  Next time we were laying down kissing, I was going to have to try kissing her like that again, just to see it up close as she reflected on my caresses.

Inuyasha remained, and I triumphantly held up the soap.  Even my stinging cheek couldn't stop me from smiling foolishly.  Well, Inuyasha would think it was foolishly, but I had just had the best day of my life: lots of kissing with Sango, we weren't fighting anymore, kissing Sango, no trouble from any outside forces, groping Sango, no trouble from the kazaana, kissing Sango, heart to heart talk with Sango, nice weather… did I mention kissing Sango?

"Inuyasha, I got her out of the hot springs!  Bath time!"  I splashed water at him, hitting him full face.  Inuyasha, of course, would retaliate mercilessly, but I didn't care.  I was too damn happy to care.

Still, the water could have been a bit colder for my tastes.

AN:  I bet that you thought you could get away from the an, couldn't you? This chapter is supposed to take place after chapters 206/207 in the manga.  Two very nice chapters for all those Miroku/Sango lovers.  I'm not going to try and write what was there, or what happened in said chapters, but just to give you a time line.  Basically: I'm going to **try** and write this without spoiling anything! ^^ And try and write it with following the manga… but, ah, meh, I just started picturing Sango with short hair, hence her new do.  (That, and frankly, it keeps me from overly repeating how he played with it.)

**Aamalie**: Glad to see I lifted your spirits!  And I would so totally kick a guy if he started talking like that.  Then I'd feel bad and bake him cookies… that makes me sound so much more girlier than I really am. *sweatdrops*  Yea, in my opinion, Sango's best feature is her hair.  I want hair like hers.  And best of all, she even fights with it!  I couldn't possibly imagine fighting with long hair in a ponytail.  Bun, yes, but a ponytail no.  What?  Don't demons know how much it would hurt to pull on it?

**April May**: I update, roughly, every ten reviews.  Let's face it.  I'm bored, so I pretty much get a chapter of at least one story done every day, more or less.  The fact that I put more effort into fan fics instead of exams that are worth 30% of my mark kind of scares me.  If I put that same energy into studying, I would be a bonified genius.  Let's face it… who wouldn't order Miroku to do pushups?  Heck, I'd even order him to do it when I was sitting on his back. ^_^    Your reviews made me quite happy, thank you.  It's nice to get a good review to take the sting away from my apparently superficial essay.  Oh, and sadly, I don't think that there are any hints here or there of what was going to happen next. ^^

**Kikanemi**: 'Sensual'.  Gotta love that.  Hard to think that four years ago I was blushing when I had two characters kissing.  Now I'm writing about erections, and breasts and nudity… although for the record, when somebody says 'nipple' I still want to giggle and fall off my seat.  Hoped that their sensuality helped to ease the badness out of your day! ^^

**Mujitsu**: Gomen!! I didn't spell it wrong today!  And if I did, I blame in entirely on the typo gnomes!!  The chest comment is one made by many people, the first person I've seen saying been the owner of Spiderwebs, the best Sango/Miroku fan art site out there, and you can totally find it on the anime web turnpike. ^^  So, what did she do to correct it?  Pictures.  Lots and lots of pictures.  Hm…. I think I need to make me some copies or something to poster over my desk for when I lose the net.

**Lily Thorne**: To avoid man troubles, do the following procedures:  eat chocolate.  Do something to vent your anger.  If, by this time there has been no calling from the man in trouble, proceed to read until he does, or until you next see him in the flesh and feel confident enough to talk to him.  When this happens, kiss him, and say one of the following: 'I'm sorry.'  'I love you, but you're an ass.'  'I understand that relationships are hard, but I want ours to work out, because I love you/care about you deeply, so here's the problem I'm having…..'

Then again, I haven't had a serious relationship since grade nine, with my second boyfriend, and we only went out ONCE because it was exam time.  (I love you, Greener!!)

**Quistis88**:  Once again, hopefully you will find them in character throughout the story.  No, I have not actually had any combat training, I just have a thing for movies involving martial arts (Ranma ½, Kill Bill Vol 1 –have to see Vol 2 soon- the Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and so on.)  I do have two white belts and one yellow belt, but I truly doubt that counts as combat training.  I can't even flip anybody yet, and I have actually never tried sparring.  I can't wait to finish school and start doing karate again.  I miss my muscles and being sore when I go to bed at night and taking out all my aggression in doing katas.

**E. Thompson**: fumbuzzled is an awesome word.  Mind if I had to my list of nonsensical words?  Yes, I do actually have a list… it's only one word long right now, though.  And I'm not really quite sure what you were saying, hon.  You sounded… like me.  (God… history exam… do you think that I'll be deducted marks for using analogies is a history essay?  I still maintain that the League of nations did "thump their chests with their fists in a mockery of power"!)  If you are like me, yes, you're insane.  Maybe even clinically so.  I never actually said that Miroku understood, and maybe he doesn't understand that it was the idea of being prey-like that made her uncomfortable, but he knows it bothered her and made her feel petty, so that's good enough!

**Blade of Fire**:  *huggles*  How can I possibly feel like I failed my English exam when apparently I have an awesome writing style? (So what if I may have written on the wrong topic?) Thank you so much, love!  It's such an ego booster!  (Down ego, down boy!)

**Queenizay**:  Nope, that's just my fascination with hair, coming through in the median of Miroku and his "busy, busy hands"  (Yea Simpsons).  I do.  I have an obsessions with hair.  Namely mine, and how I want people to play with it, brush it, whatever.  I am like a cat.  I need a certain amount of love and being petted and shrimp now and then… and I shed.    I should probably cut my hair, but then, that would mean I couldn't go as Naru for AN.

**Silver Amaryllis**:  Ah…. I'm up to chapter 20, believe it or not.  Their despair is the reader enjoyment?  Part of me agrees, and the other half is worried about the human race given what I have put some of my OC's through…  I want a silly, amorous lech, I really do.  I'd just beat him with a Styrofoam bat when he got bad, since slapping him would be an offense.

**Izu**:  As well as being the PoF, I'm also the Queen of Cliffies.  I've been known to write some horrible ones.  Hell, I've written stories where 'the end' pops up while some characters are still speaking!  Yes, I am from Canada.  I can normally be found in Southern Ontario, trying to get away from the smog of Toronto, but for the next few days I am in dreary North Bay.  While there are no eps… there are cons.  Which means I can acquire manga from various animes… en masse.  Now I just have to get a job to buy them.  Why can't I be paid for writing fan fics!?  So far nothing has happened with the herb.  That was really supposed to be for comedy.  'Please, lady, give the herb to someone responsible, not to the lecher', kind of thing.  And Sango doesn't get mad easily, I just think that she has no way to vent things minus being physical.  That doesn't really mean she has to beat Miroku, just that she vents her anger using her body, like pushups. 

_Note benne!****_

This is my last week here at school, which means that after the 28th, I won't have internet access, minus abusing that of my companions.  So, updates will happen when I moderately abuse their accounts or save up enough cash to go to an internet café for a bit.  I will update again on the 28th before I leave, and I promise to update when I can after that.  I will still have my internet, so by the time I get my net back, this story will be done!

….Unless Miss Takahashi gets Viz to publish another manga and I can find another plothole or opportunity for fluff! ^_^  See you in… 4 days and counting.


	8. Admittance

Dressing Wounds

AN: You can thank this chapter to Jessica, who gave me back one tape of Inuyasha, and Miroku without a shirt on prompted me to post more. "It's irrational, it's impossible… it's against my religion."  That's right, Miroku, to not post is to go against my religion!

Mujitsu: Up to 22 now.  What can I say?  I have no life.  And I love that site as well.  It has inspired many stories, or chapters as the case may be. ^^

Lily Thorne: But I will post when I can!!  And I know that computers have net, but I don't know if I can upload stuff. Besides, we have one library for a population of 100, 000+ people.  It's a wee bit crowded in there for me.  

Xichiathik: I am terrible proud of that part myself.

Kikanemi:  I can say penis, but if you ask me to write anything being done with it, that's another story.

Izu: Actually, the chopsticks she uses to pull it back with _were_ considered weapons.  Very good for stabbing soft places… like eyeballs.  And I like the do as well.  And actually, I don't even know where the Kikiwai store is, as I have been to Toronto to shop only three times, all at cons.  I don't like Toronto.  It's too big and crowded for the likes of me.

Aamalie: Hair grows!  It's all good!  And I have to brace my mom for B's… maybe even a C depending on how my seminars and my exams went. For me… that's very, very bad.  My mother, as I didn't need to show her my report card after I moved to live with my Dad, has not yet learned about two previous B's, and thinks she still has an A daughter.   I can't wait to show her my D+ paper!! ^_^  Her head will explode.

Quizzinay: Long live Taureans, ne?

Sorry to anyone I didn't respond too.  My account is being silly.  I think some other reviews are missing, by my count, as I don't think I got more than 10 reviews… oh well! Enjoy!

Chapter 8:  Admittance

            The sun warmed my face as I walked beside my favorite monk.  Our shoulders touched as we walked.  I wanted to take his hand in mine, silent apology and acceptance for having to hit him last night after he grabbed my butt.  I know that he wouldn't normally have done it.  However, Kagome and Inuyasha and Shippo had been watching.  Whenever one of them appeared, we had to keep up our pretenses: so he would automatically become a lecher again and I would return to that role I hate.  I hate having to hit him just for touching me, because I want him to.  I want him to touch me.

            That fact worries me, in a way.  With the fights we have been having lately… no, I phrased that wrong.  Miroku and I have never fought.  But we get into battles, and the way that we've been comrades in arms as of late as made me start to think: why?  Why do I even want to find out what this feeling for Miroku is?  If it's something deep it will only hurt me should something bad happen to him, and if it's just a woman's passing fancy, I'll hurt him.  I don't want to hurt Miroku.  It's bad enough that I have to hit him, now and then.  I don't want to add more injury to that.

            You see, the fact that I find myself on night watch and purposely taking a seat near Miroku to listen to him breath or watch him sleep, it disturbs me. When I go back to bed after that, all I can think about is laying my head on his chest and moving with him in slumber.  I want to feel him hold me as he always tries to when we're alone.  Hell, he could even grope me, and right now, I don't think that I'd care.  I even want him to kiss me like that again, like what he did several days ago.  It still caught me off guard, and I was still slightly mad at him for actually _shoving_ his tongue into my mouth, but that was the second time he had pulled something like that, and I was slightly more prepared.  I love the kisses we shared when we had cuddled together on that cool grass… but I wouldn't mind having him kiss me like that again.  Hm, I wouldn't even mind kissing him like that to show that I was up to the idea of trying new things.

            Inwardly, I smiled as I thought about it.  I could do it just as he's waking up or going to bed, when no one else is around and the young fox demon is already fast asleep.  Miroku would probably think nothing of me moving around camp.  I could sit down beside him and lean over him.  My hair's shorter now, so that wouldn't give him a clue that I was there, although I bet that my breathing would.  He would probably be able to feel it on his face, and he'd open his eyes, but it would already be too late, and I would lean down and kiss him, pressing him back into the ground.  I would show him exactly how much I _wasn't_ 'Sango the man hater' by slipping my hand against his chest and laying half on top of him, half off, looping my leg around his waist.  I would move exactly in the right way to rub some of his more sensitive parts the right way, and this time, maybe I wouldn't even leave when he started responding to my touch.

            But, oh, back to the kissing.  I would open my mouth as I kissed him, and Miroku would obediently follow.  Before he could think of it as an invitation, I would draw back slightly and lick his upper lip with the tip of my tongue.  Miroku would groan quietly in response, prompting me to smile and kiss him deeper as his mouth fell open.  I would muffle all his pleasured sounds that told me that I was touching him in a manner that pleased him.  Slowly, because of how swiftly he had kissed me and never let me enjoy the feeling of his tongue brushing the roof of my mouth, I would move _very_ slowly.  I wanted to enjoy every second of touching Miroku.  My tongue would slowly push past his.  If he went to make any type of defensive move, I would ignore it, and instead let it pleasure me further as I explored his mouth.  I bet that he would taste as sweet as his voice, and yet be… musky, like his scent.

            Knowing Miroku, he probably wouldn't be able to control himself when he found that I moved so slowly, or that the opportunity was there to explore me further.  His hands would slowly run down my back to grab me while I was lost in the moment.  He would roll to his side, and half of me would be cold.  A simple rub later and he would be able to feel how cold I was, or my arousal.  Either one of them would have the same reaction.  One had would move up to cup my breasts, his fingers squeezing me gently, alternating back and forth between stroking and rubbing the sensitive skin under my thin clothes.  At that same time, his tongue would stroke mine, tingling and exciting, arousing me as much as it did him.  Then, when I had explored his mouth to my satisfaction, I would retreat, and hungry pursuit would follow, giving him a chance to feel me as I had him.

            My hands would slip under his covers, running down the length of his body to his waist.  I would roll over further, bringing him completely on top of me.  The blanket would separate our bodies, but our hands were on either side of it, the force of our melding bodies the only thing keeping me from moaning his name out loud, telling him how much I couldn't wait for him to release me from the growing flames in my body, wanting the fire extinguished so badly that I was unable to catch my breath, yet enjoying the veins of fire spreading to every tip and curve of my body.  Reaching down, I would return the same torture that he gave me as he rubbed my nipple, his knee between my legs, rubbing against me in a manner that made my stomach shake and clench.  I would….

            Inuyasha turned around and looked at me, scratching the tip of his nose.  Then he turned back to Kagome, and resumed their conversation.  Miroku gave me an odd look when he saw my shock and the blush that covered my entire face.  I was only debating with myself the merits of kissing Miroku in the same manner he had me, and now I was so aroused walking was uncomfortable!

            This is what I worried about!  What if I was only interested in Miroku because I did find him attractive?  What if all I liked about him was his looks, and I didn't care that he could also be very sweet, or that he's intelligent?

            Won't somebody _please_ just tell me what it is that makes me feel this way about him so that I'll know already!?

            "Kagome already suspects," I told him.  He looked over at me in surprise.  "Yesterday she asked me how I felt about you, and I couldn't say anything because I still don't know, because I like the idea of having my own secret, and that the secret is you.  Kirara already knows.  I can't keep anything from her."  I scratched her ears affectionately.  "If we continue to trade scents, then Shippo will know before too long, if he doesn't already, and as for Inuyasha… I think he's too polite to say anything."  I saw him try to hide a laugh at that idea.  "No, really.  He doesn't want to be caught being gossipy.  He's really very noble at heart, Miroku.  I can see why Kagome likes him… and I bet that she could see why I like you."

            His cheeks turned a bit pink at the compliment.  The rings of his staff hid our words from the ears of our demonic companions up ahead.  "I know that we didn't want to tell them in case Naraku used them, but if they know already, maybe we should tell them.  We can't keep disappearing together without them getting more suspicious than normal, or leaping to conclusions."

            "On the nights when we fight, I could always bruise you more," I helpfully suggested.

            My companion winced.  "Actually, I fear that might make it worse.  As well as making it harder for me to walk the next day.  Oh, look, smoke.  We must be near a village."  He shook his head, clearing it, and then explained, smiling down at me.  "You see, you already exhibit so many qualities that are… usually considered unfeminine, that us disappearing and me turning up with bruises might prompt Kagome and Inuyasha to think that we were having sexual relations, and that in our… ah… interactions you were hurting me to become aroused, or hurting me to make me aroused."

            My eyes widened as I took in the meaning of his words.  He continued on about whips and chains for a second, then pointed out that I already had the black leather look down, and I gave him a tiny kick in the leg to make him shut up.  I swear that it really was nothing but a tiny kick in the shins!

            "I get it!  I get it!  Just… since you seem so knowledgeable, please tell me that you don't go in for that type of thing."  He gave me a look that promised if I ever proposed such a thing to him again, that I would be severely reprimanded and immediately proven exactly what his idea of sex was.  It was really tempting not to ask him if he was certain he didn't want me to tie him down and see if whipping him really could make him aroused, just to see if he would follow through on his promise.

            For a long time we walked in silence.  Slowly, as my mind wandered elsewhere instead of to the man at my side, my body returned to normal and Inuyasha quit shooting me odd looks, as if I was to blame for his sense of smell and the wind that blew my scent his way.  I was the one to break the silence again.

            "Miroku, I show you I care about you in other ways than just by holding your hand or being held by you and stuff, right?"  I felt my cheeks start to burn, and I tried to grasp what I was trying to say.  "What I mean to ask is if I've shown you why I might be interested in you in more than just a physical way.  Have I shown you that I like your brains, or…."

            Nodding, he cut me off.  "Yesterday is a wonderful example of just how much and how well you care about me, Sango.  For one, you were concerned about me.  That in itself is touching.  We don't like to admit it, but sometimes we men like to felt as cared for as the women, knowing that you worry about us when we're in danger, and want to protect us as much as we do you.  It might be considered unmanly to have a woman save you, but if it's you or Kagome, or Kirara, I don't think that we could complain.  Though Inuyasha would try."

            Kirara's ears twitched and she meowed at being included in his list of female names.

            "Besides the fact that you were worried about me, you said that you felt you hadn't been needed because I could have taken care of everything.  That's not true.  You're greatly needed.  Without the help of you and Kirara, I'm certain that we would never have made it so far.  Yet in this case, you saying that I could have taken care of it by myself meant that you think I'm smart enough to lay a trap, and strong enough to kill the demon after I exorcised it.  Also, there's the fact that for you to think such things, you must have faith in me, or at least trust me, and quite possibly that means more to me than anything else.  There's even the fact that you're willing to teach me, so you must not want me to get hurt again, and see enough possibility in me that I could be a good martial artist.

            "The fact is, we simply tend to be more physical with each other because deep down, we're both very lonely.  Face it Sango, you're like me.  You like being physical.  After a long day's walk or a fight, a smile, a hug, or a quick peck on the cheek can brighten your day.  Besides, we're both young, Sango.  Physically our bodies are longing for the kind of attention we've been giving each other.  I might be able to remember every time I'm able to hold you Sango, but it's all the little thing that I truly treasure: watching you laugh and smile, a compliment…. It's best if I use an example.  Take your teaching.  If every time you corrected me would be the times when we just hold and touch each other, there's a lot of them.  But every time that you said I did something well, or had improved, or even when I almost manage to get a hit in when we spar, those are the times when you say something else to me that makes me feel as if I am the luckiest man on earth.  It doesn't happen as often, but that's because right now, we don't need vocal reassurance.  Right now we both need to feel like there's someone who we can rely on for a hug.  Sooner or later those needs will change, and you'll find yourself taking as much pleasure in talking and listening to stories as you do when we kiss."

            His words made a lot of sense to me.  I felt relieved.  At least Miroku knew I respected his brains and fighting skills the same way he did mine.  

            "Hey, Miroku, what did you mean when you said that trust meant more to you than anything else?  What I mean is, well, why?"

            His face hardened, and he looked at me with such intensity that I nearly forgot how to walk.  "First of all, when I tell you that I trust you, doesn't it simply make you feel good?  Personally, I can't expect that you hearing it would result as the same… intensity as having Inuyasha or I be told we're trusted. Inuyasha could become a demon and hurt us, yet we trust him.  He could accidentally hurt Kagome with his teeth and claws, and yet she trusts him.  With me, I constantly grope you, as well as ask other women to bear my children now and then to keep up appearances, and hearing that you trust me makes me want to be on my best behavior so that I don't break that trust.  If I don't break it, then maybe one day I will be able to touch you in a way I only dream of without hurting your feelings or being hit for it.

            "Then there's the issue of the kazaana.  It might not have occurred to you, Sango, or maybe it has, but the possibility of it opening when you're around is just too much for me often.  Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat because I feel it pulsing, and I find that you were closer than I remember when I feel asleep and I fear that the wind tunnel is actually out for your blood.  It took my father from me, one day it my even claim myself or the son I want to have, and I worry that it wants to take you too."

            He saw my face and smiled at me.  The smile was so weak that I wanted to take him into my arms and kiss his cheeks and brush away all his worries.  "I'm not claiming that my hand is possessed, Sango.  It's just a fear, and unwarranted.  It's just that I want so much to watch you train children to fight and protect these lands, to watch you age gracefully and still be able to take down the largest of demons, that the idea that I'm the one who takes that future from you makes me…. It makes me crazy.  Hurting you is something that I never want to do, but it's a very real possibility.  Yet despite that, you trust me."

            Glancing ahead and seeing a fight brewing between our friends, I took his right hand and held it tightly.  "Miroku, you would never do anything of your own volition to hurt me.  If the kazaana, as unlikely as it is, hurts me then I will still trust you because I know that you didn't mean to do it.  No, in fact you'll be fighting it.  I'm well aware of the danger of flirting with somebody who has a hole in his hand, it just means that I won't go courting danger by playing with it, and because I'm afraid of getting pinched by these beads of yours.  And I trust the others too.  Should we tell them?"

            "Tell us what?" Kagome asked, turning around. Her gaze fell down to our entwined hands, and her mouth fell.  Before she could let out a squeak of surprise, Inuyasha insulted her inability to stay on topic in an argument and she punched his arm hard, though he probably barely felt it thanks to his armor.  It was a good punch.  When Kagome turned back, our hands were no longer touching.

            Thinking quickly, my thoughts lingered on that punch.  She had good form, and was stronger than possibly even she suspected.  She just didn't like hitting, I suspect.  Kagome didn't seem like that.  But…. "Tell you the reason why Miroku and I sneak away so often!"  I felt his surprise.

            Inuyasha put his hands behind his head, walking along again.  "Oh yeah?  We all know why you two disappear and then come back smelling like each other.  Face it, Sango, you're a female.  He managed to seduce you like he does all those other girls and you two are off trying to make babies together.  We don't need to hear all the gory details."

            Miroku used his staff to strike Inuyasha's shoulder.  His voice was low and dangerous.  "Stop being such a pervert, Inuyasha.  Sango and I are not going off into the woods to procreate.  Even if we were, there's no way I would let you find out all of my moves to use on Kagome."  

Both of us female humans turned red.  Kagome was shocked that Miroku would even suggest that Inuyasha was going to have sex with her; me because I was finding Miroku coming to defend my honor.  I could have hit Inuyasha well enough myself –and even after Miroku had already hit him, the temptation to use my haraikotsu was still pretty damn tempting- but having him do it for me felt surprisingly nice.

"We disappear because I'm helping Miroku with his stances and punches.  Face it, chances are the staff is going to break sooner or later and when it does Miroku will have developed better skills to save himself.  That's why our scents get all over each other: from sparring, and why we come back with dirty clothes and messed up hair.  Kagome, I wanted to know if tonight, you maybe wanted to join us?  I could maybe teach you some throws, in case you ever run out of arrows around human males."

As Kagome was thinking about this, Shippo looking around hopefully, wanting to be asked to join as well, Inuyasha glared at us.  The tips of his white ears twitched, as did the tip of his nose as he smelt us, thinking.  His ears always twitched when he thought.  It was times like this I was most struck by why Kagome would like Inuyasha.  He was quite adorable.  When his ears were twitching and he looked grumpy, it was rather difficult even for myself not to play with them.  

 "So you two going off and sparring every night is what makes Sango become aroused when she walks beside you?"

And then there are the times when I want to break every bone in his body.

I looked at Kagome, trying not to think about the brightness of my face, or Miroku's expression.  At first surprised, I could see it from the corner of my eye as it slowly slid into appreciation and then expectation.  I didn't want to know what scheme he was cooking up.  "Did I mention, Kagome," Miroku told her, "that Inuyasha has just volunteered to be your _uke_?"

He sputtered, and quieted when Miroku whispered to him that this would give him a chance to try and grab Kagome's breasts or at the very least, to touch her.  He agreed, and Miroku smirked at me.  Leaning over, his breath tickled my ear.  "Too polite to say anything my ass."

I could have growled like Inuyasha out of frustration.  I was going to kill Inuyasha, and then I was going to kick Miroku's ass.  The path ended and we began to break through the underbrush.  As I pushed by plants and leaves, I still glared at the two older males.  Both of them were obviously uncomfortable, particularly when I told Kagome the comment that had made Inuyasha agree and she joined in with the glaring.  Shippo heard me tell Kagome, and he joined in as well, though as a male and a child his glare was far less potent.  

"Will you three stop that?" Inuyasha yelled, pissed off.

Pressing on ahead of him, I shrugged.  "Fine.  If you don't want to feel our eyes on you as we decide what part of your body we should cut off first for being such jerks, we'll walk ahead and you two can cover the rear.  Houshi-sama, if you try to cover _my_ rear, I'll fix it so that the only way that you'll be able to know where you're going will be from your staff."

He sighed from relief.  "Thank you, Sango.  I feared you were going to part me from… something more important to me than my eyes."  He leaned on his staff and smiled at me, dropping his voice.  "After that, that still leaves four other senses to use to get to know you."

Groaning, the sound turned into a choked off scream when the ground suddenly gave way.  Miroku rushed to me and pulled me back from tumbling off the side of a cliff.  My racing heart pounded in my ears, his heart rate echoing mine.  I gulped, staring at the gorge below us.  "I think we know why the road stopped…."  I felt three other pair of eyes settle on us and we jumped away from each other.  It was hardly the most subtle of ways to try to hide the way that I had been wrapped up safely in his arms.

Inuyasha looked up and down the cliffs.  "I don't see a bridge anywhere.  If we all took turns, could Kirara carry all of us across?  I think it's too far for me to jump, especially without enough room for me to use to get some speed up first."

Kirara nodded, but Miroku answered anyway.  "Kirara could, but we wouldn't know where we are on the other side of the gorge.  We wouldn't have a clue where the road is, and unless Kagome senses a shard of the Shikon jewel, we don't even have a direction in which to travel.  We did just pass by a village.  We can get there by nightfall, and find a room for the night.  There we can ask about a bridge, or another road, as the one were on simply ended."

Thinking of something, I quickly nodded.  "I agree with Miroku.  It's a good idea.  It's better than the idea of wandering around these woods, especially after dark.  I've never been this far from home before.  I don't know what type of demons are natural to this area.  I'd prefer learning more about where we are before go plunging into any type of danger."

Miroku smiled.  He knew what I was doing.  I had said I wanted to prove to him that I appreciated more than just his physique.  When Kagome also agreed, Inuyasha relented, out voted, and we turned back around, heading to the village for the night.


	9. Trade

Dressing Wounds

AN:  This update is brought to you by Sean and his computer, Monstrosity!  Yeah, four weeks with the inter net sucks.  That's right, I have no net.  So, I WILL try to update when I can, but as you've seen, that isn't very often.  But please, bear with me!  FYI, I'm currently working on the sequel!

Yume:  The fan art came before the fic.  That's once again thanks to the vast amounts of time I spent on Spiderwebs!

Aamalie:  I'm glad that you liked their appearance!  I do so love writing Inuyasha!  He's so unlike all of the normal male characters I have, that it's really quite fun to write him.   I hope you did well on your project!

Queenizzay: Graphic… yeah… I think I got a nosebleed while writing that.  But I figure, she IS seventeen, so why shouldn't she have fantasies?  I was having fantasies at seventeen… okay, so my fantasies were nothing like his… just kissing. 20 years old and I've only ever done kissing.  No tongue even.  That is my greatest accomplishment in life!   (Kind of sad, no?)  Which just goes to show you what imagination I have when it comes to sex!

San San: I am.  Trust me, I am.  Sadly, my lack of internet is kind of starving off my muse.  I could usually write one chapter a day, but I'm working on chapter three of the sequel… and have been for the past two weeks.

Quistis: Trust is a big thing for me.  Mainly because I lack it when it comes to relationships.  I can't trust men who want to kiss me.  I'm a very screwed up individual.  
Lily Thorne:  It gets limier… in… say… this chapter.  I've decided I will do another chapter for Happily Ever After… I just need to come up with a blood for the third story, so that they can flow.  Maybe Shrek 2 will inspire me. 

Tsuki: going as fast as I can, love!

Corisu: Inuyasha as a comedic relief… who would have thunk it?

Aprill May:  Good luck on the health paper!  (late, I know….)

Vorsith:  I can promise MUCH action in this story!  Just… a bit more fluff than romance.  I mean… soon there's a succubus coming up.  Succubi are fun!!  An uke is a term for your sparring partner. 

Silver:  Why are you confused?  I know it's been awhile… just think of how my poor inbox feels!!

Chapter 9: Trade

            "Do it again."

            Inuyasha groaned at the order.  Picking himself out of the dirt, he resumed his place behind Kagome and reached his arm over her shoulder, as if he were planning to grab a certain well-endowed portion of her anatomy.  She seized his wrist and bent her body over, throwing him over her hip.  Inuyasha broke the fall properly, and Kagome quickly put on the finishing move, that, when done quickly and with the intent to defend herself, could break his wrist.

            Sango clapped Kagome's shoulder, giving her congratulations for learning the throw so quickly.  Kagome wiped sweat from her brow and told her that she'd had fun learning it, then apologized to Inuyasha for throwing him so many times.  He grumpily crossed his arms, but we all knew Inuyasha was proud of her.  He worried about her when she went home.  That's why we so rarely saw him when Kagome left us.  He didn't want us to know that he worried about her.

            Standing in horse-stance, my legs were starting to hurt.  I had held a horse-stance that Sango approved of without moving for fifteen minutes, as Sango taught Kagome the wrist lock.  I was almost beginning to think that she had forgotten about me, and I knew she had when she bent over, congratulating Kagome as I had just said.  She was wearing nothing but the black armor again, and bending at the waist like that, I had a wonderful view of her backside and legs.  It was tempting not to walk over and grab her.  It would be worth reminding her of how uncomfortable this position was by taking advantage of her, and to have her check me out again as I did pushups. 

            Unfortunately, my legs didn't want to let me walk. 

            "You can stand up now, Miroku, stretch your legs out a bit.  Why don't we call it a night on the horse-stance?"  I swear that she smiled when I let out the air I was holding and winced as I stood up.  She tossed me a towel so that I could clean myself up a bit, and the canteen.  "Inuyasha, thanks for your help.  Are you ready to fight, Miroku?"

            "Wait.  I have to fight you too?" I demanded.  Wasn't the torture of knowing that Sango could kick my butt and watching her bend over just out of reach enough?  I tossed the water container to Inuyasha as he climbed up on the wooden stump of a tree. 

            "Yes, you do.  I promised them that I would show them the kind of exercises I've been teaching you.  Besides, I like sparring with you.  You're a good partner.  And you can't always fight battles after you just wake up for a good night's sleep.  Now, do you want to attack first or defend?"

            At the tree stump, Kagome found no other place to sit, so she slid into Inuyasha's lap.  She leaned against his chest to watch our display.  I smiled approvingly.  It was good that they were getting to be so close to each other.  The temptation into blackmailing Inuyasha was rather tempting.  I bet that Kagome would kill him if she knew how much the tank top revealed when he looked down from behind her and how tight those shorts really were.  My silence could be bought, as long as Inuyasha said nothing else about Sango being aroused except to me in private.  Then I could help in taking care of that little problem.

            We had gotten rooms in the village inn through the normal routine.  This village was small, so it didn't actually have a training yard, but the outskirts of the town did just as well.  They had told us of a new path to take, as well as the existence of a sound bridge a half a day away.  For the night, however, it was once again nice to relax.

            Or it would have been anyway, had I not found myself against Sango with an audience of two that had doubled before the fight had even started.  Kirara meowed, and I swear that she was telling Sango to beat me to a bloody pulp.  I stared at Sango intently.  I was going to do her proud.  A shiver ran down her spine, barely noticeable.  I leaned forward, telling her that I would defend, and grinned.

            "Want to make it slightly more interesting?  We could place a bet on which of us is going to win.  I'm aware that you know that I know you were thinking of me this afternoon.  I want to know what thoughts in your mind prompted you to become so…."  I merely wiggled my eyebrows comically.  "If I win, I want you to tell me what they were."

            She shook her head and stepped back, her feet taking the proper stance for bowing.  It was going to be a formal fight.  That meant that anything goes –from blocks to throws- except for dirty fighting.  She'd changed her mind, going from a friendly contest to an actual fight.  "I don't think so, Miroku."  She bowed to me, and I bowed back.  As soon as her head came up, she started her attacks.

            Everything flew by in our fight, but a few things manage to stick out to me.  When she came at me with an upper-cut, I grabbed her wrist and tried to redirect her movements by flipping her, but she managed to avoid it somehow, and I ended up with my face in the dirt.  I tried to kick her legs out from under her but she jumped into a kick.  Her foot landed only a few centimeters from my head.  I thought that she had meant to miss until I felt her knuckles scraping my throat.  She hadn't missed at all.  If she lacked a single grain of self control, her blow would have struck me and crushed my throat. 

I took back what I had thought that day.  I thought that if I told Sango that I trusted her, it wouldn't mean anything to her because she wasn't like Inuyasha and I.  I had thought she wasn't in control of physical powers or abilities that needed to be treated with caution, but she was.  She possessed vast amounts of strength, and the only person who could come close to beating her in a hand to hand fight was Inuyasha.  When we fought like this, she always had to be careful of those speed and skills.  I had to trust Sango to be able to stop herself and control her body, the same way she did to me, just not for the same reasons.

Our fight had been quick, but apparently we had exhibited enough skill so as to earn a round of hearty applause from our three audience members, as well as meowing from the smallest member.  Sango helped me up and we bowed to each other, ending the fight.  I tried to keep myself from watching the way her chest moved as she tried to catch her breath.  It was rather distracting.

Kagome stood up, taking Shippo off of her knee and setting him on the ground.  "Well, I think I'm going to go take a nice long soak.  Shippo, you in?"  The little boy nodded eagerly.  She looked at Sango, a silent invitation.

I clamped my hand on her shoulder.  "Actually, Kagome, since we're here in town, Sango and I were thinking of going shopping tomorrow.  We were going to go and take stock of everything we have and might need."  I could see that Kagome looked a little odd, and I smiled at her reassuringly.  She sensed that I had some other motivation, and it was probably because of Sango's surprised expression.  I had discussed no such thing with her.  "For instance, you're running low on arrows.  I'm sure you'd like a few more in case we encounter any demons.  Being able to toss Inuyasha over your hip is impressive, Kagome, but I doubt that it will be able to stop a centipede-demon, or a…."

Kagome grinned, agreeing with me.  "I still have plenty of first aid stuff left, but we could use a few more gauze bandages.  Sango, if you two are done before Shippo and I are, feel free to come and join us.  I take it that you're going to stay out here and do a bit more practicing are you, Inuyasha?" The half demon nodded and the rest of us returned to our rooms. 

As Shippo and Kagome gathered their bath supplies, Sango and I began to take stock of what we would need to get in market tomorrow.  When they left the room and we were certain they were out of ear shot, Sango put down her brush and paper to look at me.  "We didn't discuss this at all, Miroku.  So…."

"Notice: we're alone now," I interrupted, gesturing around the room.  "Also, we have an excuse for being alone.  I feel rather lonely now that our one on one tutoring session includes the others.  I like monopolizing your time.  Now I can monopolize it again.  As much as I can accept and am incredibly proud of you for teaching Kagome how to throw that idiot, I can't accept the fact that you're not returning the favor and monopolizing _my_ time."

"Are you saying that you think that you're allowing me to teach you because you want me to spent time with you?"  I could sense her rising anger in the empty room, filling it up and pushing away my happy, triumphant mood.

"What I was trying to say was that I enjoy spending time with you, and while I am quite interested in learning, I look forward to it with great expectancy because it's _you_ that's teaching me.  It gives us a chance to be by ourselves without talking about the future or our feelings, without thinking about getting close to each other, and to just simply _be together_.  At the same time, I feel as if I'm taking advantage of you because you're imparting all this knowledge to me, and I'm not returning the favor."  I finished off the list of things we would need to collect from town.  "I'm referring to that day when you said that you didn't know how to flirt without blushing.  As much as the color looks becoming on you, I think that I would be able to teach you how to flirt with words.  Do you consider it a fair trade for you teaching me combat?  A combat of the physical for one of the verbal?"

She looked away as she thought, and finally consented.  I could see the intrigue in her brown eyes.  "I take it then that my first lesson starts right now?"

"That's why we're alone.  Now, lesson one will be how to get somebody to touch you the way that you want to be touched.  This can easily be accomplished without words.  For instance, taking down your hair when you get close to me could be interpreted as an offer for me to touch it.  But perhaps you didn't want to be that direct, or you wanted me to take down your hair for you, how do you hint at that using words?  The key to this is being vague and artistic"

"Wouldn't it just be easier for me to ask you to do it?" Sango asked, puzzled.

I smiled.  "Yes, it would be easier, but where's the fun in doing things the easy way, Sango?  Besides, doing things the easiest way is often the least romantic.  You did say that you wanted to be romanced.  If I walked up to you and told you that I wanted you to scream my name in the heat of passion, would you be inclined to let me kiss you and explore your body?"

She shifted uncomfortably.  "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Really want me to… do that.  The 'heat of passion' stuff, is that really what you want?  Is thinking like that the kind of thing that makes you… need biology books?"

Shaking my head, I leaned my body closer to hers, planning on silently and slowly closing the gap between us.  Sango looked amazing in the black suit, and she said nothing about my state of half undress.  "No, not screaming.  Once or twice I have imagined you moaning my name as you allow me to taste your body, but only once or twice."

Once or twice every hour, anyway.

She again shifted, moving from sitting on her knees to cross-legged.  "I don't understand men when it comes to sex.  I mean, it's _moaning_.  Surely it can't be that desirable.  I imagine that it would sound more like you're in pain, and being touched and held and kissed, it shouldn't cause you to sound like you're in pain."

"I agree completely, Sango.  But people moan when they're in pleasure as well.  May I demonstrate?"  I was close enough now that I could touch her.  My eyes started at her hips as my hands sat against the base of her arms.  As my eyes roamed up her torso, my hands moved up her arms, stopping at her shoulders.  My palms were so close they were nearly touching her, but I didn't want to until she said it was okay.  I don't think that I would be able to stop myself if I touched her.  My eyes locked with hers.

Gulping, Sango's hands tightened together.  She looked away from my gaze.  Sadly, I was too preoccupied with my plan to discover the proper way to romance Sango to see where her gaze landed.  I was wearing only the tight pants I wore under my robes, and had I noticed where Sango was staring behind her long lashes, perhaps I might have been more attuned to the game she was playing with me.  "Is this what you were referring to when you talked about 'hungry gazes', Miroku?"

"This would be, yes.  I want to please you, Sango.  I want to know how you like being touched, so that I can make you happy, to satisfy the cravings no man dared tame before."  She still refused to look at me and I allowed my fingertips to touch her, tracing designs on her arm muscles.  "Walk me through what you thought of today."

For a moment I thought that I had gotten through to her, that I might finally be able to see deeper inside the woman behind the armor, but no.  She shook her head.  Before I could admit defeat, she spoke.  "I can't do that.  It was just a fantasy, Miroku. Fantasies can never produce the same feelings in life as they do inside your head, because they can never be duplicated in the same manner.  So far all we know, this attempt might ruin my fantasy about you kissing me and…."

Sango stopped short and closed her mouth.  She had accidentally let the secret slip.  It was thinking about kissing that had made Inuyasha feel he had to say something about her predicament.  Wait.  Kissing?  That was what had turned Sango on?  I was certain there had to be something more to the idea of kissing than just what she had said, but at the time I couldn't put my finger on it.

My hands closed on the muscle of her arms.  I sat across from her, and pulled her close.  My nose pushed at her neck, seeking access that was hesitantly given.  I kissed her neck, finding she felt exactly as the rest of her did.  Her skin was soft and smooth, but her body hard.  Resisting the temptation to taste her further or test out different movements to try and get some sign of pleasure from her, I allowed my lips to drift up her neck, kissing her now and again.  I kissed down her jaw line, and up her cheek.  She was close enough now that I was able to wrap my arms firmly around her body.  From her cheeks, my blood rushing from the taste of her flesh and the way her breath warmed my skin, I moved quickly down her lips. 

Unable to resist the temptation, I seized her lips quickly.  I heard her make a muffled sound that could have been anything.  The kiss was quick, but hard.  I went to move away, but Sango's lips caught my bottom one, and her teeth carefully followed in hot pursuit.  I returned, kissing her more softly this time, the same type of languid, careless kisses that we had traded by the hot springs when we were entwined together.

Her hands touched the base of my chest, gently brushing the fine strands of hair underneath my belly button.  Slowly, they pressed against the muscles of my chest, and made their way up, pressing and testing me for weaknesses.  As if she found me strong enough, her hands stopped when they reached my pectorals.  They flattened over my skin, and then she suddenly leaned forward, pressing me into the floor.

At the same time, her mouth moved to cover mine and her tongue pressed itself into my mouth.  She drew the tip over the roof of my mouth, and I responded by moving my hands down, cupping her derriere rather harshly.  She let out a muffled protest that turned into a sound of pleasure when I softened my grip.  My tongue shifted, trying to toy with hers, and I felt bolts of electricity dart throughout my body at the touch.  Never had anything like that happened to me before.

As if the same bolts of electricity had moved from me into her, she quickly pulled up, staring at me in surprise.  I thought she was going to move away, but instead she licked her lips and reached up a hand to touch them.  She smiled, making me feel triumphant.  I loved her smile.  "You taste exactly the way I thought you would."

I grinned.  So that was what she had meant by kissing.  She came back down to me, shifting slightly so that her legs were straddling my hips.  When she moved to kiss me, I tried to catch her off guard and lifted my head to meet her lips, licking them.  There was a pleasant surprise in her brown eyes.  One hand moved from her butt to hold her chin gently between my thumb and forefinger.  The other removed the pieces that held her hair in place, so that they wouldn't stab her head when I moved her.  Because I _was_ going to move her.  I wanted to show her what else a tongue could do.

Sango was right.  I really am too cruel and perverted to even be considered a monk sometimes.

I flipped over, pinning Sango underneath my body.  My hand still holding her chin, I was proud of the growing look of excitement on her face.  There was a slight mixture of fear there, but I knew that she trusted me.  If she didn't I wouldn't have even been able to grab her ass.  The fact that I hadn't been hit for it did not escape my attention, either!  Moving, I pulled myself closer to her, so that my chest just grazed the tip of her breasts.  My tongue ran against the sensitive skin of her neck, right over her warm veins.  Her head fell back, allowing for a second and third time.

A man didn't have to be half demon to be able to tell she was aroused.  Her leg pressed into my thigh, rubbing against me.  Finally, I got the reaction that I wanted to hear for so long.  _"Miroku…"_

I murmured her name into her neck, my teeth nipping and pulling at the collar of her outfit.  Her body stiffened.  I didn't have a clue how to take it off.  I wanted her to show me.  I wanted to make her moan more.  Sango was willing.  If she wasn't she had a brain and muscles to prove to me that she wasn't.  Pulling harder, she finally caught the clue and began to undo the collar of her shirt.  Finally!

"So, that's what it sounds like when somebody moans your name," she panted.  Her leg still moved against mine.  I knew the sign.  She was uncomfortable.  If she moaned my name just once more, or kissed me like that again, I would be more than ready to help her relieve all that built-up energy.

I smiled lazily, watching her hands, glancing up at her face now and then.  Women had removed their clothing in front of me before, but never had I been so captured.  Never had the idea of seeing Sango willingly reveal herself to me made my heart clench and my blood start to boil.  I needed to touch and to feel.

I licked my lips and told myself to breath.  "That was murmuring.  You haven't made me moan your name yet.  When you do, I promise you that it will a hundred times better."

She smiled, and left her shirt only half open.  I couldn't see anything, damn it!  She laid back down, squirming to try and become more comfortable.  Her hand moved from my back to the bulge of my pants, and she stroked it gently.  "I know.  But it's been so long since I heard myself moan somebody else's name.  It felt good.  I want you to give me many reasons to do it again."  She shuddered as I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation.  "_Miroku_…."

"Oh."  It was all I could come up with.  I groaned in pleasure, and her hand moved away.  She leaned back up, as I was too intoxicated with pleasure to think properly, and cautiously pulled on my earring.  My thoughts were returning now that her hand had been removed.  "You always did know how to flirt," I realized.  "You wanted this to happen.  You used my naivety about your innocence to make me think that no man had courted you in this way before, playing into the idea that I thought you would be helpless against my charm."

"Mm hm."  Her tongue circled the curve of my ear, blowing into it gently. 

"And yet you still allowed me to feel as if I were the seducer, that way my ego wouldn't be injured."  My hands took her shoulders, pulling her away so that I could see her face.  She wasn't smiling, just looking thoughtful.  I very slowly grinned at her, and closed my eyes, leaning my head against her collarbone.  "Sango, you are positively an evil genius.  But I'm afraid you've underestimated me.  Now I'm never going to let you go."

One hand moved from her shoulder to her chest, slipping into the opening she had made.  I knew now why she hadn't opened more.  She was allowing me to take her piece by piece, giving me access to her as she felt comfortable with me.  I cupped her breast, finding her nipple already hard from her arousal.  I massaged her breasts, my fingertips feeling the ridges of scars around the growth.  She shifted again and moaned louder as my fingers teased her breasts.

I knelt over her, watching as her eyes closed and she moved to my body, arching her back to find my hand when it lifted from her body.  She bit her bottom lip, her hands trying to pull my hips closer to her.  "You look beautiful, Sango.  My Sango.  My beautiful, smart, Sango, so intelligent about the ways of life and still so naïve."  I kissed her stomach, my lips walking over her costume to reach her neck and finally, her mouth.  I licked her lips for her, and she said my name again.  "You see, Sango, I can't leave you like this.  Part of me wants to because of how well you played me, but, I can't.  This is torturing me as much as it is you."  My voice was low, and she turned her head to make the sound easier to catch.  I leaned forward and toyed with her ear as she had mine.  My hand moved from her breast to her legs, running up the length of one and then using the tip of my finger to press into the juncture of her limbs, feeling the heat that I had helped to kindle ready for release.

One hand clenched the thin mat she was laying on, the other hand cupped me again, playing with the hem of my pants.  She fumbled with the string, and I moved to help her.  Together, we managed to push them down enough for her to touch me without the hindrance of clothes.

As her hand closed around my erection, I moaned her name.  "My God, Sango, I love you so much."  My heart felt like it was cracking as I said it.  I wished I could have taken them back.  I didn't want to tell her that.  I knew that she knew I loved her, but I didn't want to _tell_ her that! 

"I know," she said simply in reply.  The tension eased out of my muscles.  She turned her head to kiss my cheek, and wriggled out from under me.  "I'm sorry.  Maybe we should do this some other time.  Kagome and Shippo will probably be back soon, and…"

I grabbed her wrist carefully and took my position back.  Her brown eyes looked slightly scared, but again they looked up at me and the feeling melted away.  She knew that I would never do anything to hurt her.  Whatever had made me so eager to feel Sango had retreated to the back of my mind, and I looked up at her with an expression that was probably akin to the one Shippo uses to get sweets from Kagome.

"Sango, please, the door's locked.  We can be quiet.  But don't leave.  Not yet."  She hesitated.  "_Sango_."  I didn't mean to make her name sound like I was begging her to stay, but it did.

She tensed up again, and then sighed, shaking her head.  "I'm sorry, Miroku.  It was wrong of me to play you like that.  I should have stopped… I'm not ready for… I don't want…"  She sighed, unable to finish her thought.  She didn't need to; I understood.

My words, for the first time in a long time, failed me.  They failed me miserably.  I could think of nothing to say, absolutely nothing.  I kissed her softly, just because I wanted to, I wanted to touch her, and feel her, and be soft and gentle with her.  My fingertips ran down the sides of her body, looking for her an opening.  I couldn't find any.  Damn one piece outfits!  Well, touching her through a few layers of clothing would work nearly as well. 

I pressed my finger into her softly.  Her breath sounded like a gasp.  It was odd doing it at this kind of angle.  I pulled her into my lap, quickly pulling my pants back up and wincing.  Her first.  Then she could go to join Kagome in the bathhouse, and I would be free to take care of the problem she had helped me create.  She leaned into my back, and her hands pinched the fabric of my pants when I slowly moved my hand up, trying to find the correct spot.  I found it when she shuddered from pleasure and whispered my name.

I never knew that something so soft sounding like a whisper could ignite such a response in my body.  I pressed a little harder, moving my finger in a circular motion around the sensitive spot I had found.  I closed my eyes and leaned into Sango, supporting each other.  My lips lazily played across her neck.  I had found ecstasy and wrapped her up in my arms, holding her tight and wearing down her defenses, earning her trust until she revealed her true form amongst sighs and mews.

"Faster," she said hoarsely.  "Please, Miroku."

Not a beg, no, never one of those.  Sango was too strong to be reduced to asking for me to touch her.  No, this was nothing more than a simple request, a polite way of telling me what she needed for me to give her a release.  Ecstasy never begged, merely shared and shared alike.  So as my fingers moved faster in the tiny niche I had made in the fabric of her suit, I was rewarded with her moaning my name and her rubbing her body against mine.  Her back arched as I hit her at just the right angle, and I increased my speed, aiming again for that spot.  Her back stayed arched, the muscles of her wonderful derriere rubbing against my hidden erection as she moved her hips into my hand.

Her moans suddenly stopped, her muscles shaking, and my fingertips still rubbing inside her.  She moved against me still, tantalizing the tip of my penis, bringing me with her to her dangerous edge.  Her nails dug into my legs, and suddenly I heard my name squeezed out from her lips, along with something I could never imagined having heard before.

"_Miroku__, yes._"

Her muscles clenched, and I pressed a little harder into her.  She was panting, trying to keep in the orgasm.  I angled my head, licking her cheek up to her ear.  "Sango, let it go.  Let it build on its own.  And please, say it again.  Say it louder."

            "Yes?" she asked hesitantly.  I nodded, and she surrendered, repeating the word over and over again, my name slipping out now and then between them as well as the odd 'oh god', each syllable louder and more desperate.  I could feel her muscles move, hear her breath in my name.  Never before had hearing someone orgasm been enough to send me over the edge, but with Sango, it did.  Yet, she was still going, apparently heedless to the way I had called out her name.

            "Oh God, oh, _God_." 

            Her body shook as the final pleasure burst and she sagged against me.  I kissed her neck, murmuring to her, telling her how amazing she was. 

            "I should go and join up with Kagome and Shippo before they think something's up," she whispered lazily.  I nodded.  Sango's head butted my chin.  "Hey, that means you have to let go of me.  No, not yet.  I want to stay here a bit longer.  Miroku…."  She sighed, not one from pleasure this time but helplessness, and then said nothing else for a long time.  She just allowed me to hold her, her fingers playing with my pants, her face considerate.  I wanted to see her smile again.

            Finally, she unwound my arms from her body.  "I think my legs will work now.  I should go to bath house.  Thank you, Miroku."  She could tell from the expression on my face that I had no idea what she was thanking me for.  Sango simply kissed me gently and then cryptically thanked me again.  I watched her go.  She had her hand on the door before she turned around and dropped her stuff and flew back to me, barreling me in the ground.  She kissed me harshly, and then fled, her face burning red.

            Was that another cryptic thank you?

            At least one thing was certain.  I had gotten under skin.  I wasn't planning on leaving from there anytime soon.

AN 2:  Yeah, so if some of you out there are saying: 'Gee, you were doing such a good version of keeping them in character until now…'  Don't say it!  The next chapter will explain much more, as it will be Sango's point of view regarding this whole scenario. 

….watch for it!

….too much FY… so sorry for the kind of mini cliffhanger!!


	10. Fight

Dressing Wounds

AN:   Reviews are addictive.  They really are.  So while, Sean is busy playing with his DVD's before I watch all the Inuyasha he bought at Anime North, everybody, _quick_!  Group hug!!  We're in the triple digits!!

Silver: I am just going to state that my stories get confusing.  We'll leave it at that.

Tsuki: I'm ALWAYS ready to post… just not able to post.  (Stupid lack of net… I love Sean… my internet connection….)

Lily: Shrek 2 is out.  I'm hoping that it will inspire me.  I don want to add more to Ever After, I'm just stuck on that little thing called a PLOT. 

Aamalie: Thank you for your suggestion of glomping Sean.  I did indeed glomp him… full body, even.  I think you made him veeeery happy.  I love the net, but ah… murder is a bit extreme.  Especially given that I don't even eat meat.  I mean, if I can't stand a chicken wing, what am I going to do with a dismembered head? 

Angl: Ball?

Demon Ex-Barbiue: Only because of spin the bottle.  And wait till the wedding night scene… I mean…. There's no sequel!  whistles  Is it wrong I can't remember what happened in the last chapter?  
Quistis:  I like making people laugh.

Yami: Join the club.  I wish my U had a course on Japan solely so I could learn more!!

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed!  As always, this is brought to you be Sean, his comp Monstrosity, and this week's special guest, Anime North.

Chapter Ten: Fight

            Can love really be put on hold?

            Can love be denied when it's screaming to be freely given?

            Can love start to grow, and then be told to stop?  And, if so, can it begin to grow once the command is said, even years later?  Or will it shrivel up and die if I try to stifle it? 

            It would probably die if I ignored it.  Without any tender loving care, without being fed any honeyed words Miroku likes to drop, without being rained with kisses, it would die.  It will die.  If I have to use my heel to crush it, I will.  It will hurt.  It will hurt both of us a lot, but it's better this way.  Why am I the only one who sees that?

            I glared from Miroku across the fire.  He sat with his head down, pushing around the ramen Kagome had cooked.  Kagome, sitting on my right, glanced between us and leaned over to talk to me in a whisper.

            "Sango, what did Miroku do?  I don't get it.  You two were getting along so well.  Now you won't even teach him anything unless I'm there to make sure that you two don't accidentally get a second alone together.  What did he do?"

            'How can she possibly understand it when I tell her that I have to stay away from him because he loves me?'  I shut my eyes tightly.  I had let my hair down, and the longer pieces of it hid my face from hers, though they tickled my chin.  'She wouldn't be able to understand.  Normally, I would be looking a gift horse in the mouth.  What would Kagome give to have Inuyasha tell her that he loves her?  What would I have given to find a guy who loved me for simply being me, temper, scars, muscles, brains and all?  Then I do find one, and… and I don't want it to be him.'

            Thinking about what I said, my head lowered an inch more.  I didn't even understand it myself.  It was stupid, it was ridiculous, and I didn't know what was tearing me up inside more: the fact that we hadn't said more than the odd word in passing or battle over the past two weeks, or if I missed his goddamn groping.

            I glanced up through the flames and caught his gaze when he did the same.  What I saw there made me feel like I was crueler than Naraku.  He was hurt, but his pain was hidden behind his anger.  He was angry with me.  Very angry.  I flinched visibly over his gaze.  It felt as if he had punched me.  No, more like I had punched myself. 

            "Here."  My eyes followed him as he walked over to Inuyasha and handed him a half eaten bowl of ramen.  Inuyasha took the bowl hesitantly.  "I know how much you like it, so feel free to finish it off for me.  I've lost my appetite."  His words sounded curt to Inuyasha, but to me they were downright brutal.

            'What is it that made you lose your appetite, Miroku?  Having to look at me, or knowing that it's your love for me that pushing me further away?'  I wished I could have said part of it out loud.  Just the first part.  I was worried.

This was the third night this week that he couldn't finish his supper, but in fact, it was the seventh meal that he hadn't finished in the past few days.  He always handed it out to the right person in an attempt to hide the fact that he wasn't eating, and always with a different excuse.  A ramen bowl to Inuyasha, a piece of fish to Kirara, something sweet or healthy to Shippo and Kagome, as he knew both of them like sugary things and reminding them that they were still growing and needed to eat more fruit.

He never gave anything to me.  Not that I'm griping about it.  I couldn't care less if he gave me his leftovers.  Fuck, I'd get mad at him for it.  I'm not about to let him touch me like that and then allow him to throw me his scraps of food the moment I decide to call it off, as if I were his bitch that only got fed table scraps if she was bad, as opposed to being treated like a real person when she was good and obedient.

'And sluttish,' I bitterly added, remembering the way I allowed Miroku to touch me, the way I had played him to try and get him to satisfy my hungry after I watched him doing pushups and holding horse-stance, taking note of the beads of sweat tracing the outline of muscles underneath his skin.

As if he heard my thoughts, he turned around and glared at me.  No, it wasn't a hard glare, it was soft.  Because it was a glare from someone who had just been deeply cut by someone he had trusted.  I saw his hands clench, and wondered why.  Did he actually want to pick a fight with me?  Did he want to punch me, as if that would really make everything better?  No, Miroku wasn't that type of man.  He wanted to grab me and drag me away from the fire to talk to me.  He didn't want things to end between us.  His expression softened when he caught my eye, begging me to come with him, to find an excuse and go and talk with him.  I turned back to the fire, continuing to pick at my ramen.  He bitterly walked away.

The others merely watched.

Kagome was the one who acted first. She set down her dish, her chopsticks perfectly placed across the lips of the dish.  She put her hands on her knees, her back straight.  I was in for it, big time.

"Kirara, Shippo, why don't you to go see if you can try to find us some fruit, or herbs to bring with us for tomorrow night's supper?  This forest has lots of vegetation."  Shippo opened his mouth to protest, but Kirara butted him.  Shippo waddled off with my cat-friend.  "Inuyasha, why don't you go and find Miroku, see what you can get out of him.  I'm going to press this one for information."

We waited as Inuyasha left, and then Kagome burst.  She took a deep breath, steadying herself, and then she slammed the ground, leaning over me.  "Sango, cut this bull shit!"  I was shocked that she had been so frank with me, but as she sank bank down, satisfied that she had gotten my complete attention, I realized it had been for just that: to get me attention.  "Sango, you can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

"Yes," I weakly replied.

"Good.  I know it would be hard, saying something awful about someone Inuyasha and I consider a friend, but it's not right that he touches you like that.  Even though Miroku is a good fighter and a great help, Inuyasha will kill him for you, or leave him nicely tied up for you so you can do the job yourself.  It's not right that he should force himself on you, and then take advantage of you…."

"NO!"  I set my own bowl down.  I would have laughed if it weren't so serious.  Miroku?  Force himself on me?  Never.  He would never do anything like that.  "Kagome, nothing like that happened!"

"Then what did happen?" she asked, blinking her lashes and looking innocent.  She looked too innocent.  I had pulled that same trick two weeks ago.  She was trying to trick me into spilling, but I wasn't going to tell her what happened… I wasn't!

I did.  
            "Two weeks ago, Kagome, Miroku told me that he loved me."

She screeched and flung herself at me, hugging me tightly.  "Oh, Sango!  I'm so happy for you!  I knew that Miroku likes you, but I didn't think that he would actually tell you!  It only took him how long to fess up to his emotions?!  How did he say it?  Was he suave?  Did he grope you as he said it?  What did you say in return?"

I did not even return her hug.  I knew she wouldn't understand.  More importantly at the time, how was I supposed to answer her questions?  'Actually, Kagome, he wasn't groping me at the time.  Well, I suppose he was.  He actually had his finger pressed into… what was it that your biology book called it?  Labia, or something? And his fingertip had found that thing called a nerve center and was rubbing in an attempt to make me orgasm when he told me that he loved me.  Isn't it just the most romantic setting you could think of?'

No, something told me that answer wouldn't go over well.

"But," I said slowly, surprising myself that my voice was so cold, "but I didn't want him to say it.  And he did.  He knew that I wasn't ready to hear it, that I didn't want to hear it."

Kagome sat back up, her hands falling back to her side.  She stared at me, silently telling me to continue the story.  When I showed no signs of the slightest inclination to continue, she leaned back and simply sat beside me, staring at the snapping fire.  "I take it this has something to do with Kohaku and Naraku, right?"

I nodded.  "His spies always turn up everywhere, and with Kanna, his spies don't really even need to be here.  When we're alone together, planned out together so that we can talk and stuff, we usually ward the area from sights and sounds.  Even if Naraku isn't out there, it still keeps people from hearing us talk."

"Oh, I see.  You're afraid of becoming another Kikyo and Inuyasha, afraid that Naraku will use your feelings to tear us apart."  I slowly nodded.  Kagome's voice was soothing instead of being reprimanding. "Sango, that's quite intelligent, but in case you haven't noticed, we're being torn apart without his help.  This fight with Miroku can't continue, not without putting the others and I in the middle of it.  Can't you just… accept it?  You don't have to return his feelings, but you can't tell Miroku not to love you and expect it to work."

I looked up at her, and I felt a smile try to tug at my lips.  She misunderstood.  "Kagome, I do accept the fact that he loves me.  I know I can't tell him to change his feelings and allow it to happen.  I wouldn't want his feelings for me to change, anyway.  I'm more than happy to accept the fact that he loves me, it's just… how much he loves me scares me.  And I don't know how I feel about him…."

I trailed off.  I was getting off topic!  "Besides, the fact still remains that… that… I can't remember what the fact is now.  Kagome… I don't know how I feel about him yet, but he's already decided that he loves me, and worse, that he loves me just so much that he doesn't even have to _say_ it for me to know that his heart is.  I feel horrible, because do you know what I said to him?  'I know'.  He told me that he loves me and all I say is 'I know'!  But what else could I say?  'I respect you and enjoy my time with you'?  And I allowed him to… to… you know, and after wards, I said thank you.  Thank you!  Like it was a goddamn business venture!"

My hands shook, and I felt suddenly very helpless.  I found myself wishing that Miroku was with me.  "I don't know what this is, Kagome!  I wake up and I see him sleeping and I want to go under his blankets and lay beside him to watch him sleep, and kiss him awake.  I see him doing pushups and I started wishing that my view was from under him.  I talk to him, and I find myself smiling and laughing, and once he wanted to dance with me even though we were by ourselves and we had no music and I wish now that we had!  I don't know what this is, and it _scares me_.  Then I get even more scared, because I'm a demon slayer!  A slayer!  I can go up against demon after demon, I saw my father get killed right in front of me, held Kohaku as my father told me that my mother died giving birth to the child I held, but I'm scared because he looks at me sometimes, and I forget everything bad that's ever happened to me!  Or he touches me and I want to become half cat-demon so that I can purr, and I want to return his affections in every way I can.  Kagome, I'm scared of _Miroku_ and I'm scared of _myself_ and it's stupid because I don't know _why_.

"But I do know why I don't want him to tell me that he loves me.  I can't… I can't burden him with that.  Not until Naraku is gone.  Not until his wind tunnel is gone.  If we got into a fight and his wind tunnel got cut and he killed him, he would leave this place thinking that he had left me behind, and then he would feel sad and guilty, and he would never get a second chance, he would never be reincarnated because of all the negative feelings borne in death because he loves me.  And if Naraku is there… he has Kohaku.  He used Kohaku to get me to betray you once.  If he got Miroku too… or me, to use against Miroku, or even you… or made me choose.  It's exactly something that that sadistic bastard would do.  I don't know who I would choose.  I would want to save both of them, but how can I choose between my brother and Miroku?  Worse, if I became Kikyo and I killed him….."

She patted my shoulder, and handed me a Kleenex.  I realized that I was crying.  I felt horrible, but Kagome wouldn't tell anybody else that I had cried over Miroku.  She continued to rub my back.  "Sango, have a little confidence in yourself.  What could Miroku ever do that you would want to kill him for it?"

"Lots," I growled.

"Other women, I take it?"

"Yes.  I swear, Kagome, I'm not jealous, but I want him… to just be mine.  If he says that he loves me, then I should be everything he needs, right?  Mother and Father had only each other, and they were very happy."

"Don't you think you make Miroku, happy?  If he's actually able to make you smile and laugh, then I know that he's doing something right on his part.  Besides, you're not giving yourselves a lot of credit.  Even if Miroku did go and have sex with some other woman while saying that he loves you, do you think that you would actually be able to kill him, as opposed to just kicking the crap out of him?  You two trust each other.  You just do it in your own contorted ways.  Naraku would never be able to set you two against each other, not without a lot of help, and I don't think that even the whole Shikon no Tama would have enough power to get you two to fight."

She was starting to make sense.  "I… suppose that is true."

"As for Kohaku and Miroku and choosing between them, it's easy to think of things like that.  We can jumble it around as much as we like.  What about Miroku and I, or Kohaku and Kirara?  There's no use in ranking people against each other in order of who to save first because the chances of that happening are small.  So small they're invisible."

Kagome shifted, brushing my hair for me.  I know that she was younger than me, but Kagome just has the deep maternal streak in her.  Maybe it's because her mother raised her, while I was raised by my father.  Give me a boy to take care of, and I'm peachy, but a girl and I'll fumble a lot.  "Sango," Kagome said soothingly.  For some reason, just that calm tone of voice made me want to start crying again, and spill more of it out.  "Sango, you can't keep on feeling guilty over your past.  It's not fair to take that out on Miroku.  Kohaku, I know for a fact, would be happy to know that you have somebody who loves you.  Don't use Kohaku as an excuse to keep away from Miroku.  It's not a sin to fall in love, it should be a blessing.  Love needs to be nurtured, and if you let this one die because you're making yourself feel guilty, you're always going to hate yourself for it later on in life."

I closed my eyes, crying.  "I know!  I just wish that someone would just tell me what's going on in my heart!  And I try so hard not feel guilty when I'm with him, but I can't!  God, I want to give him everything I know he wants, and I want… I want so much!  I want to be with him and just enjoy being with him without having to think about Kohaku or keeping my senses alert in case we get attacked because I know that me not being able give him all of me hurts him.  And I want to give him all of me.  I do!  I just… it's all too much!  I fight demons, I don't know what to do anymore!"

Arms wrapped around me and a new scent assaulted my senses. 

Miroku.

I froze in his arms.  I felt my tears stop halfway down my cheeks and I swore they turned into icicles.  Slowly, I managed to get my throat to work again.  "How… how long were you listening?"

"Long enough."  When he felt my anger, he relented.  "From the very beginning.  I wanted to walk away and find some place by myself, far away from camp, so I could simply think, but I couldn't go very far."

"Did Inuyasha catch up?"

"No.  I got hungry and began trying to figure out a way to get Inuyasha to give me back that ramen."  I snickered into his robe, and I knew that Miroku would be smiling from the sound.  "You're not mad at me, are you?  I wanted to ask you myself what had made you become so silent and avoid me, but I didn't know how to start.  I thought that maybe I had offended you somehow, or frightened you away because I had told you that I loved you.  Apparently I was half right.  You and Kagome started talking, and it was so easy to just stand there and listen as you poured your heart out to her.  When you started crying, Inuyasha had to hold me back from approaching you and holding you like this."

I blinked.  "Inuyasha heard too?"  I felt so stupid, and I felt stupider when I felt him nod.  Miroku then kissed my hair, however, and I felt a little better.  Actually, I felt _a lot_ better.  I was kind of mad at him for listening, but my anger was slowly melting away from me.  It wouldn't be proper to be angry with him.  If he was telling the truth, then I had started to talk while he was still here, so our conversation… well, woods aren't the most private places to have conversations anyway.  But I did mind that Inuyasha had heard.  He ragged on me so often sometimes, that I'm certain me crying over Miroku was the last thing I wanted him to hear.  I was certain he was going to start calling me a weak woman or something now.

"Sango, your fears are completely unwarranted, but I respect them.  I have to, because sometimes I've thought of those same fears.  I've feared about hurting you, in every way from directly to indirectly, but Kagome's right.  They're just fears, Sango, and I swear to you that I will never let them come true."

I close my eyes, leaning into his arms.  My voice was barely audible, and probably muffled through his robes.  "Miroku, I'm sorry."

He paused, and then realized that I was apologizing for everything.  I couldn't remember if he had told me he was sorry, or not.  I hoped that he hadn't.  Miroku didn't have anything to apologize for, as far as I was concerned.  I felt his jaw open as his chin moved against my head, and I cut him off, sensing what his answer was going to be.  "Yes, I do need to apologize, you stupid idiot!  I didn't want to hurt you, and that's just what I ended up doing!  And it hurt me too.  That's why I was apologizing, because I was an idiot and I hurt you.  So just suck it up and be a man and either tell me I'm forgiven or that I'm not!  Either way, I can take it."

"You're forgiven… this time.  The next time you get scared and run away on me instead of talking to me, it's going to take a lot more to make me forgive you. Like maybe a massage with you in nothing but your black armor again, or possibly one of Kagome's bathing suits….  I didn't mean to tell you that, Sango.  Part of me wishes that I could take back those words, because I didn't mean for you to hear them, but I can't take them back.  Do you really want to accept them?"

I lifted my head from his chest to look at Miroku.  He looked so sincere, and worried.  I dried my cheeks, and gave him a very weak smile that showed nothing of what I was thinking on the inside.  "Yes.  I even think that part of me liked hearing it, and wants to hear it again, really soon.  But, I…."

He kissed my forehead, and gave me my own smile, a soft and gentle one that wasn't perverted or mischievous, just… sweet.  "I don't need you to say anything back, Sango, not until you've made up your mind.  I don't want you to tell me that you love until you're certain if you do or not."  He sighed and cupped my face in his hands.  My back felt cold without his hands there.  "Sango, you don't have to be scared.  I know that it sounds harder than it is, I just wanted to tell you, because I don't think anyone else ever has.  I'm scared too."

My eyes widened, my hands covering his.  "You… are?"

Miroku nodded, an agreeable, soothing sound coming from his chest.  He allowed me to take his hands from my cheek and play with them, entwining my fingers with them and brush them softly. He'd just wanted me to look at him.  "I am."

"But… you're Miroku!  Courting, women and stuff, that's all supposed to be your area of expertise!"

"True, but there's a difference between flirting with somebody then there is realizing one day just how much I love you and realizing that as hard as I can look, it isn't hard enough to find a flaw in you.  Even those are too damn charming and cute."

I paused, arching an eyebrow, not afraid to show my pleasant surprise.  "Did you just call me cute?"  He nodded, and I felt something bubbling up inside me.  It slipped out before I could stop it, and I heard myself giggling.  Giggling!  As if I were Kagome or something!  I smiled at him so brightly that I almost could have told him that he meant the world to me.  I knew that I loved how he made me smile.  "Thank you, Miroku.  I've never been called cute before."

"Perhaps I'll have to remind you of it every once in awhile," he teased.  One of his hands began trying to sneak away from my toying fingers.  "It's my own personal belief that when two people are really in love, that they shouldn't be afraid, but we aren't two normal people.  Normal people aren't slayers and monks, who have demons and half demons and priestesses as companions, as they hunt down vicious men.  They don't have a brother who is lost and are trying to find him, or a hole that will one day kill them buried in their hands.  So we can't follow their path, we have to make our own, and being different… is scary."

He placed my bowl back in my hands.  His fingers sent shivers up my arms.  "Now, I'm going to start another fight and take back my forgiveness if you don't finish eating your supper.  I'm not the only one who has felt too sick to eat.  You don't want to lose all that hard earned muscle by not eating, do you?"

"You noticed?"

"Sango, when it comes to you, I generally can't help but notice things."

I looked down at my untouched food, blushing.  He was right.  I had barely eaten anything.  Unlike Miroku, who had managed to eat some of all his meals, I had eaten some and merely picked at others.  Shippo had gotten my leftovers, and I made him swear to secrecy.  "Inuyasha already ate yours, didn't he? Get your chopsticks, Miroku.  You're helping me eat this."  He began to protest, but a quick glare later, he was returning to my side with his utensils in hand.

Each of us holding the bowl, sitting cross-legged across from each other, we began to eat the ramen.  I was certain there were issues that we hadn't resolved yet, but I couldn't think of any of them.  I was too happy.  I saw him go for a piece of carrot, and I caught his chopsticks in mine.

"Pardon me but that is _my_ carrot."

"I don't see your name written on it," he retorted, his chopsticks trying to work their way around mine and snatch the carrot.

I blocked him again, and locked our utensils together.  "You won't see it at all as soon as you stop trying to grab it and let me eat it!"  Finding he couldn't get his chopsticks out from mine, he leaned forward with his tongue out to try and lick the carrot out of the bowl.  I pulled it out of reach, and was immediately met with resistance.  Catching each other's eye, I smiled at him.  "Fight you for it?"

Miroku frowned, but his eyes were still bright and happy.  "No way.  You'd win."

"We can make it easier for you, Miroku.  I'll tie one hand behind my back and you can use your staff.  But I get to use my katana."

He grinned.  "It sounds tempting.  But I happen to like being alive, so I'm afraid I will have to turn you down.  Are you sure we just can't have a chopstick duel?  I… Shippo!  Quit going through Sango's things!"

Like a fool I turned to look over my shoulder, and gave Miroku a chance to get his chopsticks out of mine.  Shippo, of course, was not there, but I was certain that I saw a flash of silver hair hiding in the bushes.  I turned back expecting to find the carrot gone, and instead I was met by a soft peck on the lips.  It would have been sweet, except that Miroku –that damn tease- had to let the tip of his tongue graze my bottom lip in the kiss. 

God, I missed him.

Miroku smiled as he pulled away, holding the carrot in his chopsticks for me.  Blushing, I tried to take the carrot from him, but he wouldn't let me have the goddamn slice of carrot unless I took it from _his _chopsticks.  So I did, and it waso pleasant to see his eyes widen and concentrate on my lips, smiling proudly after I had accepted his carrot-peace-offering.

"Since Kagome and Inuyasha obviously know everything, I guess this means that we can throw caution into the wind and start doing things like kissing each other goodnight before bedtime and holding hands when we walk."  His eyes snuck their way up to mine hopefully.  "Right?"  As I thought he ate a few more noodles, and when I still hadn't answered after he had swallowed, he pressed the matter.  "Sango, whatever will be, will be.  There's no point in worrying about it until it actually happens.  Besides, you've been mourning for your father for a long time.  You may be trying to help your brother, but don't you think that both of them would want you to be happy?  Doesn't being with you make me happy?"

I felt my whole face turn red, and I was silent.  I thought about his question, but he took my silence as the fact that I didn't know what to say.  I knew exactly what I wanted to say, I just needed to calm down before I yelled 'yes' as loudly as I could, and then smacked him for thinking that he made me _un_happy.  When I went for a pea, chopsticks caught mine.

"I'm sorry, Sango, but that was _my_ pea…"

"Hey, Miroku, can this be the first and only time we fight?  I don't think I like arguing with you very much, unless it's sparring."

"Of course.  I don't like fighting like that either, but sparring is fine. I like sparring with you.  I don't think you know just how much I like sparring with you.  But first, I want the pea.  If I don't get that fucking pea, Sango," he sighed, "I might just have to start a lover's quarrel to get my revenge."

I blinked my eyes slowly, trying to look baleful.  "Miroku, did I mention that I also missed you groping me?" I whispered.

"…  Okay, you can have the stupid pea."


	11. Assumption

Dressing Wounds

AN:  Ahh!   My story is up for an award for Best Romance: Miroku and Sango from the Inuyasha Fanfiction Guild!  To whomsoever nominated me, thank you thank you thank you!  To whomever votes for me (or thinks about it ) thank you so much again!

I would now like to apologize in advance for the cliffhanger at the end.  This is your fair warning.

My Account Was Deleted: Often I find I go a bit wild with descriptions of surroundings.  Thank you for your advice though.  I will have to try to balance out my descriptions further.

Vilja: Um… I lost count?  This is actually one of the chapters base don the manga, so… I think I wondered a little bit off the cannon.  But for all those who are wondering about a sequel (and given that you're only half done this story, I think you're a little premature giggle) yes, I am doing a sequel, and it sucks, so I really need to work on it.

Demon Exterminator: I love the ramen scene.  It just popped up in my head and it seemed so… them.

E. Thompson: Me?  Give a sad ending?   Wha??

Sango n Miroku fan:  I wanted to cry too when I wrote it.  Goddamn it, I love Miroku!!

Lily Thorne: I hope you are no longer grounded.

Yami: yes, Kagome disappeared during this.

Mirihana: I love you too! les glomps

God, if I continue to read these reviews, I'm going to go all into the fluffy mode, and then… then I won't get any sleep, and be emotional, and Sean will have to talk to me like a baby because I won't be able to concentrate. So, I will end it here before I get all teary eyed.  Thank you for such wonderful reviews everyone!! hugs everyone in turn I haven't had reviews this heart-warming or that make me so light-headed from giddiness in a long time. 

Thank you.

Enjoy.

Crap!  I'm teary-eyed already!!

Chapter Eleven: Assumption

            Inuyasha said he smelled a demon, so of course we had to investigate.  There wasn't a sign of the Shikon Jewel around, but we couldn't leave a demon laying around, especially so close to the village that sat on the other side of the chasm, about a three day's walk from the bridge that had allowed us to cross.  I don't know who was more surprised –the females or the males- when we walked into the village and found it filled with women.

            That is, that there wasn't any male in sight.

            The women stopped working, staring at us.  They didn't notice Kagome or I, their eyes going straight to Inuyasha and Miroku.  Of course, with Inuyasha their gaze automatically jumped to the ears on his head, and then to the rest of him, but that's beside the point.  As for Shippo and Kirara, they seemed to be just as unnoticed.

            Miroku and I had been making up for all the time I had spent not talking to him.  I had thought that we had been making great progress in getting to know each other better, especially now that we didn't have to hide ourselves from Inuyasha and Kagome.  Both nights, I had been able to lean my head on his chest and allow him to wrap an arm around me as he told Kagome, Shippo and I some of the things he had been taught to become a monk.  Inuyasha, of course, sat in a tree, his ears twitching as he listened to us and his eyes looking out for trouble, allowing the others and myself a chance to relax. 

            I know that I should be thinking solely of Kohaku –how would I feel if I were captured and Kohaku had to find me and spent his time flirting with a cute girl instead of constantly working at helping?- but I allowed myself this time and my lessons with Miroku. 

            I felt better than I had in ages, and the warmth that I awoke with each morning seemed to have grown even stronger.

            However, finding all these women eyeing Miroku and Inuyasha as if they were meat, it would take an idiot not to notice the 'stay away' looks we shot at the villagers.  Miroku merely grinned at me when he heard my teeth grinding against each other.  I swear that Kagome pulled an Inuyasha and growled at them.

            I wanted to reach out and take Miroku's hand, claiming him as my own to get these women to start looking at him.  Moving closer, I reached out to take his hand…

            And it was otherwise occupied.

            A young woman had approached Miroku while my vision was red from anger, and had taken his hands herself.  The grey-eyed woman -And barely a woman at that!- stared up at Miroku with a hopeful expression.  She clenched his hands tighter.  His back was to me, so I couldn't see his expression, but from his stance, it was clear to me at least that he had not lost his suave act. 

            "Sir," said the young woman, her voice soft and nervous.  "Sir, may I please bear your children?"

            …

            Even Miroku couldn't control his reaction to that question. His jaw dropped.  Then he slipped his hand from hers and threw his arms around her, holding her tightly.  If I didn't know any better, I would think that he looked ready to cry.  His voice was just as soft as hers, but it was also smooth, and completely serious.  "At last… a woman who will ask me that question."

            I was going to kill him.

            Kagome got over her reaction to the question very quickly, as there was another young woman staring up at Inuyasha.  She only came up to his shoulder.  The woman chewed her fingertip nervously, her lips the same shade as Inuyasha's jacket.  Even I recognized that trick!  She was flirting with him!  Kagome, I'm sure, had planned on pulling off the same move.  Her sanguine nature would allow her to pull off such a childish and naïve trick, meant to draw attention to the speaker's lips.  Even I wouldn't mind using it on Miroku, minus the fact that he was going to die as soon as I could get a clear shot.

            "You're half-demon, aren't you?" the girl asked shyly.  He stared at her a second, thinking.  Writing her off as a harmless little girl, he nodded.  The girl stopped chewing on her finger to smile up at him brightly, the kind of smile that only Kagome had ever shown Inuyasha before.  "Wow.  That's amazing.  What's it like?  Do you have any special powers?  Please, tell me everything you can about being a hanyou!  I want to know it all!  And, please sir, tell me your name?  And allow your friends to stay at my house tonight!  My family will be honored to have housed a half demon, a young child demon and a monk!"

            Other girls ran up, demanding that Inuyasha stay with them instead, and Miroku got about five other offers from women wanting to bear a child for him.  This time the boys were both shocked.  Miroku must have thought he'd found heaven on earth, and Inuyasha too.  Not even Kagome had reacted so well to him being a demon, but that was probably just because Kagome had more tact.  Kagome and I, however, had gotten over our shock.

            As Shippo was suddenly attacked with hugs and kisses, I turned to Kagome, stopping her from rescuing our other companion.  They weren't going to hurt him, just stroke his ego.  'That's what they're doing to all the men,' I realized.  To Kagome I whispered, "Kagome, do you notice anything odd going on here?  About this village?"

            "You mean besides the fact that it's all women?"  When I nodded, she took a long around. Her blue eyes widened when she noticed what I had.  "They're all young women.  The oldest one has to be about your age, Sango, and the majority of them seem my age."  Her hands tightened on her knapsack and she turned away from me slightly, more toward Inuyasha.  I realized that even over all the commotion he could probably hear us, and if Kagome talked, he was most certainly going to notice her voice.  She was talking to him in a one sided manner, letting him know what was going on without even alerting the other females.  "I wonder where all the men are, and all the elderly, and the young."

            I nodded.  "The demon Inuyasha sensed is…."

            I was cut off by a loud shriek followed by a giggle and several groans of disappointment.  I looked over at Miroku and found him still holding the girl he had hugged earlier, except now he was groping her.  I was dismayed –and disgusted- when I realized that he was using both hands.  I glanced at Kagome, who understood immediately.  Women didn't need to have the hearing of a dog to know what was going on in each other's minds.

            Kagome slid into the crowd of girls and placed her hand on Inuyasha's arm.  Her scent alerted him before hand that she was coming, so he was already turning to meet her.  I tried not to laugh when I saw the briefest flashes of horror in his golden eyes, terrified of the girls al vying for his attention.  "Inuyasha, accept the first girl who offered for us to stay for the night.  She did ask first, and so it would be rude for anyone else to accept."

            One of the other girls put her hands on her hips and glared at Kagome. Though younger, this girl was taller than my friend, and so she did literally look down her nose at Kagome.  "Pardon me, but the offer was for the monk and the half demon and the full demon.  There shouldn't be an 'us'.  _You_ were never invited to stay."

            Kagome bent and saved Shippo from being pulled apart by two quarrelling twelve-year olds.  She held him in one arm and wrapped the other with Inuyasha's.  "Well, that's too bad.  The six of us are a team.  We stick together."

            The girl still buried under Miroku proposed the answer.  "That shouldn't be a problem.  The half-demon and the monk can stay with my sister and me.  We can share a room, and they can share another.  Sakura and Lina can take care of the two full demons.  Lina is the youngest girl our village, so I'm certain that they'll have fun, and Sakura loves cats.  As for you two girls.…"  She eyed Kagome and I, and then smiled.  "I think that you two should stay with Chiyo.  She loves stories about fighting, and you look like a warrior."

            Clearly, the girl wasn't crazy.   So what had prompted her to ask Miroku to allow her to bear his children?

            Kagome and I looked at each other.  We couldn't very well press the issue about a girl staying with one of the older males in our group to keep them occupied.  It would have been rude.  Besides….

            She smiled at Inuyasha.  "I trust you, Inuyasha.  So I expect you to look out for Miroku."  They both looked over at the monk, who was still in a state of shock.  "He's going to need it," she sighed.

            Cracking my knuckles, I stepped up to Miroku, planning on doing what I had wanted to do since he had hugged the girl.  He heard me and looked up.  For a moment he looked scared, and then remembered that he had brought this on himself.  He stood up, planning on taking his punishment like a man.  That's when I found I couldn't do it.  No matter how mad I was with him, I couldn't hit him.  At least, not after he looked up at me as if I were… somebody other than myself.  It was like –no offense to Inuyasha- a puppy dog expecting to get beaten by his mistress.

            Yet I couldn't let him go unpunished!  He had just groped –with _both_ hands- a girl… a girl who, though she didn't seem to mind it, wasn't me.  What was his point in talking about getting know me better and him loving me or holding me… if he looked at every woman we met along the way to Naraku?  Of course, it was the groping issue that overshadowed my memories that it had been a few months since he had hit on anyone other than myself, and even then, it was only to keep up appearances.

            I think.

            I slapped him anyway.  I let my hand swing… and by the time I was at his cheek, I had slowed down and caressed his cheek.  I think that action caught him more off guard than a woman asking to bear his children.  He even leaned into it a little bit; when he did I felt an entire village's worth of eyes on us.  I let out the breath I had been holding, and pulled back my hand, holding on to the strap of the haraikotsu on my back to keep from wanting to touch him again.

            We were led to the rooms we would be using by chattering girls, all of them asking about the two "handsome men" we had in our group, and I could not shake the feeling of dread buried deep within my bones.

            What had happened to all the men of the village?

            "Please?" begged the girl that had first talked to Inuyasha.  She knelt in front of him, her face on the same level of his as he sat in his usual position.  He finished fixing his haori.  She scrunched up her face, injured, yet pulling off the begging face like an expert.  Her violet eyes threatened to leak tears and her bottom lip quivered, as if it were her fault that Inuyasha was reserved.  "Please, Lord Inuyasha, I merely want to make you comfortable."

            "If you want to make me comfortable, wench, then cut out all that 'Lord' shit!  I'm just Inuyasha!"  He crossed his arms, refusing to remove his shirt the way Miroku had.  Inuyasha didn't want to be "made comfortable".  He wanted to go and find the demon that he had smelled.  Now that he was in the village, all he could smell was women.  Worse, women who all seemed to be in heat.  Inuyasha stood up.  "Thank you for the offer of a back rub, but I just think that I'm going to go for a walk."

            She jumped up, smiling.  "I shall go with you and keep you company!"

            "No!" he snapped.  The last thing Inuyasha needed was a little human girl following him around as he went looking for a demon.  He looked at Miroku, wondering if he should bring Miroku with him.  He decided against it.  Miroku looked far too comfortable to be disturbed. 

'Kagome might have made me promise to keep an eye out for Miroku, but if I take care of this demon, then there won't be any trouble from this village, and we can get started immediately tomorrow morning.'  He had tried to press the girls for information, but one refused to talk to him –only to Miroku- and the girl who had offered a back rub said she didn't know anything because all the males had already died when she was born.

At first they both wondered if it had been some kind of disease that had affected only the males, but the woman rubbing Miroku's back had assured the monk that it had been no such thing.  The men, she said, simply went missing.  Even the children had wandered off at night, and no matter how well they protected the male babies, they were taken before they even reached the ages of Lina and Sakura.

Inuyasha was sure that the demon he had smelled was somehow involved.  He tucked the Tetsusaiga into his belt.  "Hey, Miroku?"  The monk responded with a grunt that sounded like it might have been a question.  "I'm going out for a bit.  I'll be back before midnight.  Tell Kagome I just went out for a walk if she drops by."  Again, Miroku's answer was only a grunt, this one sounding like a yes.  Inuyasha rolled his eyes and continued on his way.

            As Chiyo poured tea for Kagome and I, I stirred the pot of stew for her, sitting cross legged by the fireplace, feeling worried and tense.  Chiyo's house was comforting, and she was a very and cute friendly girl.  Kagome had immediately taken a liking to her, but I was otherwise preoccupied. 

            Miroku.  What was he doing right now? Had he completely forgotten about me?  Kirara, I'm certain, was having lots of fun; Inuyasha had probably sulked off from the corner or was busy telling the women of the village stories.  Shippo would be playing, of course.  Yet who knew what Miroku was doing?  I was letting my imagination carry me away and hating myself for it.

            "Chiyo," Kagome asked as Chiyo poured a glass of tea for her.  "Chiyo, if you don't mind my asking, what happened to all the men and the seniors of the village?"

            The girl poured me a glass and handed it to me before she answered, shuffling about the kitchen as if nervous.  I wondered if she had ever played hostess before.  She fumbled about in the kitchen as much as I would if I had to entertain two strangers.  I set down the tea, not thirsty, and concentrated on net letting the stew boil over.

"Well, I don't know much.  The men all disappeared a long time ago.  I can tell you what I do know, though.  A disease came and wiped out all the seniors, as well as many of the young children.  It was apparently very horrible.  Those that survived slowly vanished, disappearing in the middle of the night.  Soon, only the women were left.  The older women usually run away with the men who agree to bear their children.  We can't leave the village unless it's to get marriage.  The woman at the fire shrine tells us that.  She watches out for all of us women, keep us from mountain bandits or natural disasters, like the disease that spread through here before I was born.  There haven't been any females born here since Sakura and Lina.  There have been a few male births since then, but they all disappeared.  That's really all I know."

"This woman at the fire shrine, who is she?"

"She's a priestess.  She's very nice, and very strong.  That's how she's able to protect us.  All she asks us is that we keep the fire stocked."

"Can you take us to her?"

"Yes, but not tonight.  We're not allowed on shrine grounds at night.  The Priestess says it's a sin for us to go there at night."

I continued stirring the pot as Kagome relaxed, sipping her tea and chatting with Chiyo, trying to discover anything else that might seem unimportant to the village girl.  I really didn't like the feeling I was getting from the village, and I knew it had something to do with the shrine Chiyo mentioned.  I noticed that the stew was starting to pop, and I picked up the bowls laying beside me.  "The food's ready.  Should I take some of this to Inuyasha and Miroku?"

Our hostess shook her head.  "They have two of the best cooks in the village looking out for them.  They'll probably have some elaborate meal planned out.  Thank you for your help, Lady Sango.  I'm sorry that I couldn't do better."  She gave a cute blush.   That was something else that I had noticed odd about the village.  All of the girls in it were very cute or very beautiful. 

Kagome patted Chiyo's shoulder.  "There, there.  Don't worry about it.  I'm sure that it will taste just fine.  It's better than some of the things that we eat out on the road, anyway."  She leaned over to me.  "I swear, I don't know how Inuyasha can eat so much ramen sometimes!  I mean, I love it too, but wanting it five nights in a row is a little excessive!"

Chiyo smiled at me.  "Lady Sango, please, tell me what it's like being a demon exterminator!  I always wanted to grow up strong, and learn how to use a sword and everything, but the moment I step out of the village, the Priestess will no longer watch out for me and she says that I will be attacked by men… and without anyone to teach me how to handle the weapons left behind by the men, I'm defenseless."

With that statement, my worry about Miroku's state was forgotten.  Supper succumbed to Kagome's laughter and Chiyo's intelligent questions; from stories about our journey to even a few kata demonstrations. Before we knew it the fire had died down to cinders, and we were settling down to bed in the kitchen, well-fed and worry free.

Inuyasha smelled blood.  He stopped, bending down over a puddle of mud.  He covered his mouth in his long red sleeves.  Inuyasha knew that scent anywhere.  It was the smell of blood.  He stood and kicked at it, trying to get to scents that hadn't been weakened by the sun.  All of the blood had soaked into the ground, and was dry to the touch.  It had to be a few days old.  The way the scent touched the air, a few days old or not, he could tell who it came from: a human.  What confused him the most was that it came from a human male and it was still inside the village.

'What's the blood of a human male a few days old… doing inside a city that says it hasn't had a male living here in years?'  The answer was obvious.

The villagers were lying.

That led to a whole new set of questions, but Inuyasha never got to answer them.  He felt a prick at the back of his neck, and slapped at it, thinking it was a bug.  Instead, he felt feathers, and a small needle protruding from his neck.  His vision began to blur.  'What?'  He pulled it out, and could barely make out that it was a blow dart.  'Why didn't I smell the enemy?  All I can smell are the villagers!  Is this some trick of Kana, or did Naraku make another child that doesn't have any scent?'

"He's not unconscious yet," a voice snapped.

"He _is_ half demon," another female voice replied, this one very familiar.  "Better give him another shot. He only needs to stay asleep enough so that she can finish him, as he rejected doing this the easy way."

This time, however, Inuyasha was prepared.  His ears twitched and he dodged, the dart nicking his neck as he moved.  He dodged three more before he felt one _stab_ into the side of his neck.  He turned to see who it was who had stabbed him with the tiny dart and found himself staring straight into violet eyes.  It was the girl who had flirted with him!  He wondered why she was so tall and why he hadn't heard her approach him.  As he collapsed to his knees, he got his answer.  She was floating.

With a groan, his eyes closed and he fell fast asleep.

It was around midnight when I woke up.  I was still tired, but I could live with a little bit of fatigue.  Besides, my mind was wide awake, and as long as that stayed awake, the rest of me would as well.  I had only slept for two hours.  I rose from the thin mattress and began to dress myself in my armor and all my various weapons.  When I was done, I went to wake up Kagome.

She didn't wake up. 

Thinking she might be in a very deep sleep, I tried everything.  I called her name, shook her, even slapped her cheek gently, hoping to rouse her, but she didn't react at all.  Getting up, my foot moved too close to the hearth and I knocked over a cup.  Water trickled over the ground, and I stared at the tea glass that I hadn't taken.  But Kagome had had three glasses.  Chiyo hadn't drunk any either.

Sleeping herbs.  I didn't need to investigate the cup to know.  My intuition had been right all along.  Something was desperately wrong with the village.  I had planned on going to the shrine, my instincts telling me and warning me that that's where the danger was located.  My plan didn't change with this new development, it was merely altered slightly.  First, I would have to go and make certain that the others were okay.  If they were, I could send Inuyasha back with Shippo so he could protect Kagome, and then Miroku and I with Kirara could go to find the evil, defeat it, and we would be out of here by morning.

Approaching the house that housed Miroku and Inuyasha, I heard the sounds of a scuffle.  Without thinking, I unhooked the haraikotsu from my back and ran into the house. Unlike Chiyo's simple house, this was the mansion of the area, with hard wood floors and a basic construction, so I simply followed the sounds, not worried about getting lost from all the shoji screens.  I heard the sound of tearing cloth and something crash on the ground as I neared the room.

I pulled open the door.

The haraikotsu dropped with such force that it crashed through the floor of the elevated house, sending splinters of wood through the air like confetti.  I stared, aghast.  The cold that imploded in the pit of stomach was so unfamiliar that I could not name it, uncertain if it was the deepest of icy hatreds or naught but horror. 

Bare chested and breathing heavily, the sheen of sweat on his skin, Miroku straddled the girl that he had hugged that evening.  A hand had caught her wrists and pinned them over her head.  A shattered vase had been knocked off a small table and lay in pieces beside them.  Her cheeks bright with passion, her obi undone in such a frenzy that it had been ripped.   Worse yet, they were kissing when I walked in, and his other hand lay upon her exposed breast.

The sound of the falling haraikotsu was what alerted them to my presence.  Miroku's eyes started up at me feet and locked on my face.  He winced visibly when the girl craned her back to reach up and nuzzle his neck, but then it turned into a half-pleased face.  Had I not been there she probably would have had him wanting to take her then and there from that simple movement.

"Sango…."

I swallowed, my hand falling from the handle of my weapon.  I felt so lost and empty, so frighteningly cold I was even certain of how I looked.  Was I crying?  Was I mad?  If only I knew what it was that I was feeling! Why did he make me feel so goddamn much?! 

"Kagome…."  I wanted to ask for his help.  Kagome was in trouble, and he was here planning on having sex with somebody who wanted to have his children.  Didn't he understand that it was all a giant trap?  But was it all a trap?  Maybe it was all my imagination!  Maybe I had known all along that he would do this, so I allowed myself to think that this whole village was a giant trap to get our men, because it would give me an excuse when leaving the next morning, and I could write off his infidelity as…

Infidelity?  What infidelity?  When I had ever talked to Miroku about not sleeping with a woman, _especially_ one who was willing to bear his children as he had always wanted?  Did I truly think that his lack of interest in women lately had been because he sought monogamy?  Had I truly been so stupid as to think that just because he would flirt with me that he would also give up his search for a woman to give him an heir?

Yes…

Maybe…

I don't know anymore!

I just wish that I knew!

I turned and fled.  I ran as fast as I could.  I didn't hear Miroku call out my name, or untangle himself from the woman who was so heart-set on pleasing him.  I just ran.  It was stupid.  I should have gone to try and find a way to help Kagome.  I love Kagome.  That much, at least, I was never confused about.  She is like a sister to me, and I want to protect her, the same way I do my own flesh and blood brother.  I should have tried to help her!

But even as I thought this, I kept on running.  Maybe if I ran far enough, I could escape the pain in my heart.  Why the hell did it hurt so much?  Stupid Sango!  I had made an assumption, thinking that because he was chasing me he wouldn't look for women who would give him a child. Wasn't I good enough?  Did he think that I wouldn't want to give him a child he dreamed of, if he was able to help me figure out what I really felt about him?  I would…

God, would I!  He wanted so much to keep me happy, always trying to make me smile or laugh, that I would be happy to give him all the children he wanted….

Just, when it was convenient for me.

That, I realized as I ran, stopping to lean on a tree and dry the tears I found falling from my cheeks, was why he had done it.  Because I would give him a child when it was convenient for me, but convenient for me might be the same thing as dead to him.  I shuddered at the thought of Miroku dying.  Never had I been afraid of death before.  It was only a transition.  I was afraid of death for Miroku.

"Stupid Sango," I cursed myself.  My breath came in gasps from the exertion of running so fast and so hard, and because I crying.  I was crying harder than I had in a long time.  Why was I crying?  Normally I just wanted to punch something, but the emptiness seemed to have drained all my energy, and now I just wanted to cry, and dream that Miroku would show up and hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I knew it wouldn't, but if it came from _Miroku_, I would allow myself to believe it.

"Haven't you learned anything yet, Sango? Never assume anything!  Assumption leads to people getting hurt and dying!  Kohaku wouldn't have been controlled had we not assumed that the Lord was a human.  Then Father and the other slayers would be alive, and I wouldn't have met Miroku, and I never would have hurt this much!"  The tears dripped to the leaves on the forest floor.  "Stupid fucking Sango… all you can do is hurt stuff.  You can't even put two and two together until it's too late… you can't even follow the rules."

Arms wrapped around me, and for a moment I thought my dream had come true. Then I realized that they were too soft and feminine to be Miroku's arms.  I broke out of them and spun around, slamming my back against the tree and grabbing the handle of my sword.  I found myself staring at a Priestess, dressed as all Priestesses are.  Her black hair held streaks of red and her eyes were a pretty, cloudy blue shade.

The Priestess of the fire shrine that Chiyo had mentioned.

"Hello," she said politely, bowing her head.  It was a stupid move to do when a potential enemy could draw at any second and sever your head from your body.  Either she was an imbecile, or else she had so much power she wasn't going to be concerned about a sword.  She lifted her head, and I decided not to take any risks.  I would treat her as if she were a dangerous, powerful human.  I couldn't make any mistakes that way!  "My name is Hikari.  You must be Sango."

I blinked.  Evidently, I had been right to assume on a powerful human rather than an imbecile.  "How do you know my name?"

            Hikare smiled.  "I know many things.  Please, you are not feeling well.  Allow you to escort you to the shrine.  Some tea will help to fix you up right away." 

            I shook my head as I pulled away from the tree.  "I can't.  I'm sorry.  I must have stepped on Shrine grounds.  I didn't mean to, but… something is wrong with my friend.  I shouldn't have run away!  I have to go back and help her!"  I stopped shaking my head to realize that I was already walking, and I was walking up the steps to the fire shrine.  I could smell the scent of heavy smoke dripping down the steps.  I tried to turn around, fighting against my body, but it wouldn't listen.

            "Don't try to fight it," the Priestess said.  "There were drugs in the brew that you ate.  It makes you highly agreeable to my suggestions.  I don't think that you'll be able to break it.  Oh, and don't feel bad for not noticing that there were drugs in the food.  We feed them in a concentrate herbal form to the livestock, that way the nutrients are absorbed into the meat itself, and is completely undetectable.  I take it that the friend in trouble is Kagome?"  I felt myself nod.  "I can assure you, Sango, that nothing bad will happen to your friend.  She is perfectly safe, which is why I had Chiyo give her the tea with the sleeping herbs.  So that she will stay unharmed."

            "How do you know so much?  Honestly, this time!"  I had some control over my body.  I could scratch my ear if it itched, and speak my mind, but I could not turn around or lash out at the Priestess.

            "I know everything that the girls in the village know.  I see what they see," she replied with a smile.  She held open the door for the shrine for me, and I stepped inside.  The woman's smile grew, and she nodded, her eyes scanning my form as she circled me.  "Yes, yes.  This will work nicely.  Strong body, good looks… I don't have any toys like you yet."

            Sniffing the air, the smoke clouding my senses, I suddenly became aware of her scent.  Not a physical scent, but rather that of the strong aura that demons gave off.  This shrine reeked of it.  I looked at her suspiciously, cursing her silently.  If only I could grab my katana!  "So, what kind of demon are you?"

            With a grin, she slid off the white shirt she wore.  Her body, under the shirt, was covered in glittering scales the same tinge of red as that of her hair, that shimmered with streaks of gold and orange.  A pair of tattered wings, useless for flying but the same brilliant colors, sprouted from her back.  Her nails were sharp and pointed, and her eyes were identical to Inuyasha's.  Her waist was tiny, her hips and chest wide, a ridiculous overproportioning of the male's desired hourglass figure.  Her mouth was pert and full, accentuated by her fangs, and her forked tongue darted in and out from between them, slurring her s's when she spoke.

            "Ah," I said, nodding.  "I see.  A succubus.  That would explain why there aren't any males in the village.  You've already ingested them all."

            She laughed?  "I?  Not I.  I have grown tired of playing with men.  I like it here.  The local lord of this area cares nothing about laws, and there are bandits everywhere.  I feed on them, keeping this village safe, just as Chiyo said.  No, I didn't get rid of the men of this village.  The women did.  The men here were cruel, horrible people.  They were always after the women, beating them when they were bad… or, in their world, when they didn't agree to be bedded as often as the men desired."

            Sadly, this was something I had seen far too often in villages.  It was a disgusting sight, and the men deserved whatever was coming to them.

            "So, one day, I was passing through here and I heard a woman ask for some help.  Hearing what the problem was, of course I immediately offered my services.  All the women of the village agreed to my help.  They all drank but a small amount of my blood and thus, we became connected.  They gained some of my power, and I in turn, gained a thousand pairs of eyes, a thousand pairs of ears, food, and a permanent home.  The next time their husbands or lovers wanted them to perform what they called their 'wifely duty', they consented, and in the moment of passion, they gathered the souls of the man who pumped away at them so furiously."

            Yes, even that.  They deserved that.

            "The villagers then brought the souls to me for my consumption.  You don't seem disturbed by this at all.  You must have a good constitution.  I imagine that if I told your friend Kagome this, she would become… squeamish."

            "No," I said, imagining that idea.  "She wouldn't.  It takes a lot to bother Kagome, surprisingly.  She's eaten supper in a battle field before, and it didn't seem to disturb her at all.  I… I like the idea, Hikari.  I like it a lot.  The males had it coming.  They treated the women badly, and the women took their revenge.  Are you certain that Kagome isn't going to be harmed?  Okay.  If you don't mind my asking, what happened to all the elders of the village?"

            "Chiyo was telling the truth about that too.  A sickness did ravage the village before I cam here.  It killed off many of the elders, and several of the children.  This village is infected by evil… not including myself."  She sat up on the corner of a desk, and crossed her legs.

            "I'd imagine that now you want to know why there are no children.  That, at least, is easy.  There isn't any reproduction.  The females here have been so hurt by males that when one comes, they want only two things: physical gratification the likes that only a male can provide, hopefully with the production of a strong child so that the village can continue, followed by a swift execution by digestion, courtesy of yours truly."

            Inuyasha!  Miroku!  Shippo… surely he'd be okay!  He was only a child, and a full demon at that!

            "You see, we use the men that find their way here.  Sometimes they result in a child, but often the female is so eager to see him die that she can't wait to take him until after he has implanted his seed in her.  The ones that can wait result in births… well, there are many childhood diseases, sadly.  And should the child be male, then they are quickly dealt with to avoid any further contamination of the village."

            _That_ idea I certainly didn't like.  An older male who knew better than to abuse his wife might be expendable, but these were children she was talking about.  Now I knew that I had to save Shippo as well.  First… I needed to figure out how to move.

            She studied me intently, and continued.  "You wouldn't believe the trouble this causes for our village.  We constantly need to replenish the women in our village by adding more women to it, in hopes that they might be able to bear us strong female children, and not be so affected by the inbred hate of this village that they can stand to mate with a male long enough or often enough to ensure fertilization."

            "Then the sweet, innocent act of all the villagers…."

            "Purely a trick meant to make the males feel more welcome and more at ease.  Or, more frankly put, a trick meant to ensure the males will have no trouble at all to jump into bed with a girl."

            "And you're telling me all this because…."

            Hikari laughed.  "Isn't it obvious?  I'm offering you the chance of a lifetime!  Revenge!  Power!  But with a different clause then those girls!  You'll be able to take your female friend and leave this village without a care in the world.  Over time, without my blood to replenish you, the new powers will fade, but you will have had your revenge by then, and the way you can lift about that massive weapon!  Oh!  You're strong enough without my help!"

            She grinned, sliding off the desk.  "You see, Sango, the monk didn't eat the food.  Oh, he was more than willing to sleep with my girls without the help of a drug or two.  Except you don't want him to do that, and I have to make my women happy.  She can wait and have another one.  She's happy with anything that has a penis, but you, you only want _Miroku_.  And you're mad at him now, aren't you?"

            I didn't want to nod, but I had momentarily forgotten about the drugs in my system that forced me to answer.  Not only did I nod, I spoke.  "I want him to love only me."  My hand flew to my mouth, unable to stop speaking.  "I want to be everything that he'll ever need." 

            _No!  No!_

            "But I don't want to hurt him!"  There!  I had said what I wanted to say deep down, underneath the anger I felt.  "When I hurt him, it hurts me too…."  Why did I sound so uncertain?  Why did I sound so weak and pathetic?

            "He doesn't care about your feelings as much as you do his!" the false priestess hissed.  "If he did, do you think that he would really grope the girl like that in front of you?"

            I thought.  She did seem to have a point, but the way he had smiled at me, knowing that I was angry as I watched her ask to bear his children….  "He was just happy, caught up in the moment!  He wants so much to have a son.  Besides, I think he was trying to make me realize that I was, in fact, jealous."

            Was I just making excuses, or was this the truth underneath all my apprehension?  I sounded so certain, but I always had to wonder… life was becoming far too complicated for me.  I could understand Inuyasha because he was a warrior, and Kagome because she was a woman, but I couldn't understand either Miroku or myself.  Putting the two of us together in an equation just made everything all the more worse.

            Frustrated, the succubus demon Hikari decided that of she couldn't take a willing pawn, she would make do with an unwilling one, thanks to the drugs that ran through my system.  She picked up a ceremonial dagger.  "This could have been easy…."

            "It still can be!" I cut her off, realizing the only course open to me.  I would continue to fight the drugs, try to find some way of diluting it or of ridding it of my body, but just as the drugs kept me from hurting her, so did they keep me from hurting myself.  I had more than just Miroku had stake.  "It still can be easy, Hikare.  You just have to promise me that it will only be Miroku.  No body else.  Let Kagome, Kirara, Shippo, and Inuyasha and I go in morning, we'll never come back, and I will do whatever you want with Miroku."

            Save the greatest number of people at the death of as few as possible.  Miroku would die, but my other friends would leave, and then I would save Kohaku….

            And be perfectly miserable for the rest of my life.

            But my friends would be safe.  They would hate me for what I was going to do when they found out, but they would be alive.

            'Why Miroku?'

            Hikari thought about it for a moment.  "Done!  Deal excepted!  You and your other friends may go free, and you can never return."  She sliced open her wrist with the knife, and held it out for me.  "Drink.  My blood will give you some of my powers, increasing your agility, as well as beauty and seduction, and should you decide to bed Miroku, you will suck his essence out of his body."

            Willing or not, I took her wrist and drank her blood, feeling it burn my throat as I swallowed.  And, as she told me what I had to do, I felt myself want to vomit from the very idea.  I guzzled the blood from her veins as she told me too, and removed the taste from my mouth with the wine she commanded me to drink.  I purposely tried to choke on it to keep it from the second dose of drugs I knew it contained, but my body wouldn't listen.  I set the glass down, wiping my mouth, and gripped my sword, marching out of the shrine.

            In the end, it didn't matter whether or not I had made a deal, though I was glad that I had, as it kept my other friends alive.  In the bitter end, like with Miroku, my own assumption about sweet Chiyo's cooking and my own body had betrayed me.

            …Just like my brother.


	12. Ploy

Dressing Wounds

AN: Update time brought to you by Monstrosity and his owner, Sean-Monster.  There's so many reviews… I need to make this quick like a rabid plot bunny on E!!  No, no lemon here in awhile… just fighting, and fluff… but there are PLENTY more.   I mean, it's Miroku!! …And what appears to be a very horny Sango…

I need to see the episode with future Miroku.  In fact, I need to see many MS moments… once I get my net bavk, it'll be download, download, download!!  (Incidentally, yes, this chapter is still based on an MS episode….  I need to go with what the show gives me, and then try to explain how it affects their relationship, so on and so forth…)

…Do you REALLY think I would kill the sexiest monk around?  (He beats Chichiri hands down…)

Corisu Li… hands you a chocolate for being such a sweetie… then hides before everyone realizes there's another cliffie

Marlingirl: …Inuyasha airs at 10 here.  By that point, I have been up for 19 hours, and studied for most of that, and then I get a hype from watching Inuyasha and stay up till 1 writing fanfics.  Those twists and turns you love?  That is my brain on an acid tripping muse.

Baka-chan: Kohaku was controlled the same way Sango was.  Now she knows what it's like to lose control of yourself and intend to hurt the people you love.  That's what I meant.

Aamalie:  I love your long reviews! Very quickly now: Don't you think I soulless Miroku would be sexy?  You and Corisu need to stop teasing each other, though it is very flattering.  I mean, if you spontaneously combusted, who would give me such fat reviews?   Beta… phht!  I have no internet!  For once I'm glad I have no memory because I'm resorting to reading my own stories to fulfill my M/S quota!  I would be honored to lose to you also.  Think we could aim for a tie? Um…. whistles to keep from mentioning she's not updating 'The Blooded' today  My library sucks…  It really does!  I have to book library times, like, a week in advance.  Anyway… um…. This is kind of fluffy… there's a good bye kiss in it…

Short…. That went away a long time ago….

Thank you to everyone else who reviewed!  I brag to my friends about how cool you guys are!   (I'm such a braggart when it comes to the comments you made!)  And I try to keep as many of them as I can.

(I say try and many because ones like this: 'u suc' are usually thrown out because they couldn't even take the time to write properly or say why I suck. giggle)

Thank you so much, and I hope you like this chapter!

…And that you continue to not send me death threats for another cliffhanger!

Chapter Twelve: Ploy

            I thought that I was in heaven.  I mean: I had a beautiful girl who wanted to bear my children, who was willing to give me a massage… but it wasn't as perfect as I first thought.  For one, where was Sango's burned food?  Oh, she always burned her food, claiming that one shouldn't care how it tasted so long as it was cooked enough that it was safe to eat and that it was actually food, as there were so many people who didn't have enough.  Sadly, often it wasn't edible.

            Which is how Sango almost always got stuck digging the latrine.

            Her "slap" from that evening confused me.  It had preoccupied my mind since it had happened, even throughout the massage.  Why hadn't she decked me?  Had it just been my imagination, or had her "slap" actually cupped my cheek, perhaps signaling some private message? 

            By supper, I had lost my appetite.  Often, I had tried to leave the house to go and speak to one of the girls, or even to Shippo, as sometimes a child's perspective was the right one.  My hostess always found a way to stop me, and so, I ended up staring at the ceiling around midnight, hoping that Inuyasha was going to announce his return with a loud noise so that I could grab him and talk to him.

            When the door slid open, I stood up and found myself looking at the young hostess, a far cry from the half-demon with whom I had wanted to speak.  I struck a candle, and bent down to pick up my robes to cover myself.  "Good evening.  Is there something I can help you with?"

            She quietly shut the door.  Her bare feet didn't make a squeak on the floor.  She tugged the robes from out of my hands and threw them on the floor.  She wrapped her hands into my hair and pulled my head down, kissing me roughly.  Taken by surprise, her body weight suddenly pressing against mine knocked me into the wall behind me.  Something fell over in a clatter, and I made a muffled sound against her mouth.

            Releasing my lips, she looked puzzled, and hurt… as well as astonishingly cute.  "What's the matter, Miroku-sama?  Don't you like it?"

            "No, no, you're a very good kisser, it's just…."  I sighed, and looked at her.  She was willing to bear my children, and for all I knew, the next fight could be my last.  I wanted an heir so much!  I wrapped my arm around her slender form.  She was so unlike Sango!  Immediately, I jumped into the suave act I used when I was attempting at seducing a woman.  I drew leaned down my head, my lips brushing hers.  "You merely caught me be surprise, _koibito_."

            She smiled as I kissed her, softer than she had me.  Her tongue pushed passed my lips to massage my tongue.  I closed my eyes, relaxing, despite her being as aggressive as she was.  No, she was so different from Sango, but if I pretended, than the muscles under my hand was a tad harder, and had been created from working out and fighting rather than farming.  I could trick myself into imagining that she was Sango.

            Her tongue fighting with mine, my hands slipped past her waist.  Even as I groped her, I imagined that it was Sango's curves I felt in my hand.  Her hand fumbled at the knots that held up my robes, but she managed to get them undone.  She threw them across the room before I took charge and pressed her down into the mattress.  She responded by rubbing herself against me in such a way that I lifted my mouth from hers, allowing her to nip at my bottom lip playfully.

            I let out a groan as her hand played with me through the fabric of my pants "Sango…."

            She froze, as did I.  Had I truly just called out Sango's name?  What a horrible mistake!  The only reason why I even fought back when the young lady beneath me tried to push me away was because I wanted to apologize, and explain, as a man should.  And yet I was going to give up the chance to pass up a child!  Wasn't I?

            Wriggling out from under me when she realized I was too wise to fall for her lame attempts at kicking me in my most vulnerable spot, I leapt up after her.  "Wait!  Please!"  I reached out and caught her arm… but missed, catching the bow at the back of her kimono.  The fabric ripped, and she turned around to see what I had done.  She balled her fist and through a punch at me, knocking a vase from its stand.  I caught the punch she threw, and when she tired to throw another one, I caught it as well.           

            "Please, simply allow me to explain!"

            Suddenly, she stopped fighting.  I don't know what it was that made her stop.  Perhaps it was the please.  She seemed surprised.

            I didn't release her hands.  Instead, I drew them to my chest and placed them over my heart, looking at her in the eyes.  "I love the companion I arrived here with, the warrior.  You are an amazingly attractive girl, and a good a kisser, and you know exactly how to act for me to become attracted to you, but I love Sango.  Should you still wish to work with me at creating a life, I will gladly accept, for I want a child very badly.  But, I will imagine that I am sharing a bed with Sango, because I can't stop myself from thinking that way.  As well," I gulped, looking at my hand, "there are other complications that you should be aware of…."

            She shrugged, and pressed on my chest.  When I knelt down on my knees in front of her, she smiled at me and silenced me with a kiss.  "I only want a child as well.  There are complications to any mating.  Whatever they are, I can accept them, just as I can accept you imagining that it is another female who is kissing you.  Emotions between the two of us are inconsequential.  As long as you don't have a problem if I imagine that it is another man who is kissing me back."

            I nodded.  It seemed like a reasonable trade.  One hand pinned her wrists over her head, and her leg rubbed against my side.  My other hand ran up her side, unashamed to rub her breast when I reached her upper torso.  Her obi ripped apart, I single-handedly opened her kimono, my mouth quickly covering her breast, until I heard footsteps outside the door.  I lifted my head, my lips quickly seized by the woman under me.  The way she kissed drew my attention from the door.  It was probably just Inuyasha returning from his walk.

I heard a crash from the doorway and turned to the sound.  The woman I was with kissed my neck.

Sango.

I was so fucking dead.

She simply stared at me, the haraikotsu having formed a crater at her side.  She didn't pick it up.  The leash of the weapon fell from her hand as tears sparkled in the air.  I felt my mouth try to smile when my partner's tongue swathed the soft skin underneath my chin.  A large part of me wasn't aware of it, or if it was, then it was crying out to me, telling me how wrong the situation was.

"Sango…."  I released the wrists and the body under mine, trying to stand up.  The legs against my waist contracted, keeping me against her body.  I just wished that Sango would say or do something!

I watched her swallow, wondering what words she was choking back.  Her eyes narrowed, and I waited for her to explode at me, not recognizing it as an expression of determination rather than of anger.  "Kagome…."  She said nothing else, but turned and fled, her scent and tears lingering in the air.

The sounds of her retreating footsteps urged me to go after her.  What had I done?  I know that I had never talked to Sango about the matter of other women, but I had told her that I had wanted _her_ to bear my children.  Not someone strong, intelligent, and beautiful _like_ Sango, but Sango herself.  I wanted to see what amazing children we could create together, as well as what pleasures we could share with each other while creating them.

"Sango!"  I looked down at the woman under me, and she leaned up to kiss me.  I turned my head away and used her knees to push myself away from her.  "I shouldn't be here.   This isn't right."

She sat up, not bothering to cover herself.  She pouted, her dark lips suggestive.  "I don't understand, Miroku-sama.  You want a child, I want a child, and I don't mind if you pretend I'm someone else."

I patted her shoulder.  "I know."  I grabbed my outer robe and threw it on.  I needed to catch up with Sango as soon as possible, before we had repetition of last week.  As well, I needed to find out why she had said Kagome's name instead of cursing me, or threatening to kill me.  My guess was that Kagome was in danger, and Inuyasha was still missing.  "However, it would not be fair.  You don't know what you're saying when you ask me to help you become with child, and it isn't fair to me for not being true to myself, and most of all, it isn't fair to Sango."

Finished tying the knot in the dark purple robe I wore, I smiled at her.  "I told you: I love Sango.  We both thought that us… talking, fighting, trying to get to know each other better, we thought that it was just supposed to give Sango a chance to figure everything out.  Apparently I wasn't as aware as I thought that I was regarding my feelings.  As attractive as you are… you aren't Sango.  She's everything I want.  I can't be with anyone else, both because the idea of me being with someone else hurts her, and because I am unable to physically.  As pretty as you are, I'm not even attracted to you."

I picked up the haraikotsu.  It always surprised me how heavy it was.  Not having picked it up in some time, I realized why Sango, unlike Inuyasha, didn't engage in some kind of exercise every night.  Carrying around the haraikotsu was a work out as it was!  What a woman Sango was….  "Stay here.  Something's going on in the village, and I don't want to see you get hurt."

I smiled at her, and kissed her cheek.  "Thank you, though, for your kind question.  It would have been an honor to have you bear my children."  I hurried from the house, only slightly noticing the way that the young lady blushed and looked at me thoughtfully, almost as if she was confused.

I nearly ran into Shippo and Kirara at the base of the stairs leading up to the house.  "Have either of you two seen Inuyasha?" I asked quickly.  Both of them shook their heads.  "I was afraid of that.  Shippo, go and find Kagome!  Something's wrong with her, so just keep her protected, okay?  I'm sure I'll run into Inuyasha in the woods.  I believe he went off to fight that demon he smelled earlier."

"All by himself?" Shippo asked, wide eyed.  Realizing he was showing signs that he might actually be impressed by the vivacity of the half-demon, his open mouth closed and he frowned.  "That was stupid!  Inuyasha's going to get himself killed while doing that one day.  Come on, Kirara.  Let's go protect Kagome until Inuyasha shows up."

"I'm afraid I need Kirara's help, Shippo.  Sango ran off, and I don't know where she went.  While I know that Sango is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, it would be best if we stayed together for protection.  We don't know what's wrong with Kagome, or what this demon is that Inuyasha went off to attack, so I'll go get her and meet up with you.  Kirara can track Sango for me, as I haven't a clue where she went."

The fox demon looked up at me nervously, his tail shivering.  "I… _I_ have to protect Kagome?  Alone?"  He straightened his back and stood up proudly.  "All right, Miroku!  I won't fail you!"  He ran off, nose near the ground to track down Kagome by her smell.

Kirara led the way, stopping now and then to make sure she was on track.  I ran behind her through the silent woods.  I had been certain that Inuyasha would be out in the woods, but there wasn't a sign of anybody!  Kirara sneezed as I smelled smoke.  Disgusted by the scent of burning flesh, I covered my mouth with my sleeve, trying not to vomit.  Kirara meowed, agreeing with my distaste.  Sango surely wouldn't have come near here by herself when it was obviously dangerous!  Then again, maybe she hadn't been alone.  Obviously the direction of her scent coincided with that of the demon, so perhaps she and Inuyasha had met up.

I started up the steps towards what was obviously a shrine.  A soft voice stopped me, calling out my name.  I turned around to see Sango standing at the bottom of the steps.  Her face was pale, her hair framing it, the strands at the front barely touching her dark mouth.  She was sad, her eyes telling me more than her voice ever could.  She looked so cold, so lonely.  Then my eyes realized that the collar of her shirt was partially opened, revealing the rounded tops of her breasts and the white material that held them down.

Buddha would I like to see her in one of those bra garments that Kagome wears!  Perhaps I should ask Kagome about bringing Sango one.  I imagine they would be slightly more comfortable than having ones breasts held down in place with linen.

As… lost as she looked, she had never looked prettier to me.  Her lips were blood red.  She wasn't wearing her usual eye make up, yet my attention wandered to them in turn.  Her eyes were bright, though sad as I said before.  Her lashes were dark and seemed longer than normal, softer even.  Her pose was simple, a normal stance for a fighter, yet it seemed more provocative, especially with her shirt half opened.  It wasn't just that she looked pretty, she looked _sexy_.  Something about the air around her drew me to her, more than her normal poise did.  Sango had never before looked so appealing.

She also had her sword drawn.

I hurried down the steps to her, reaching out to her, wondering if she was going to let me touch her.  I was satisfied when she allowed my hand to close around her bicep, and I wrapped my other hand around her back.  I hugged her, wondering how I ever could have imagined that I had been holding her when I hugged my hostess.  "Sango…."

"You don't need to say anything, Miroku.  I understand.  I see it all now."  Her voice still sounded so odd.  Why did it sound so odd?  It was… distant, with very little emotion.  "I was being selfish.  You want a child.  You always do your best to try and make me happy, and I want to make you happy in return.  If a child is what you really want, then I am more than happy to give you one.  I will give you as many as you want."

Something was wrong.  I knew something was wrong.  The hollowness of her voice might be explained because of a fear that I would tell her I didn't want her anymore now that I had found a village full of females, letting her voice be used as a self-defense mechanism, but where was that fiery nature that I had learned to love?  Why wasn't she yelling at me and calling me a lecher and hitting me?  Not that I looked forward to being hit or anything, but I love watching her cheeks turn crimson from anger.  In fact, I love the fact that I found so passionate and strong a woman.  Sometimes it took being hit to remember exactly how feisty and powerful Sango could be.  Her blush was amazingly deceptive.

"I want you, Miroku."  I thought that I must have been having a wonderful dream.  "I want you to take me, to be the first man who will ever know me completely.  The only man who will know me completely."

Sango tilted her head up, kissing me sorrowfully.  A third hint was just too much.  I _knew_ Sango.  This was her scent, her taste, but this was not her kiss.  Sango could be everything from aggressive to soft and gentle when we were together, but she was never sad.  If she was, she hid it deep down, so as to allow me to continue to think that I was making her happy between loving, whispered words and amusing antics.

I allowed my lips to fall from hers, placing commanding kisses up her jaw to the side of her neck, and then down.  I motioned for Kirara to come closer before I slid my hand into Sango's hair, tilting back her head so that she couldn't see our small companion slide forward and sniff her ankles.  The cat understood what I was asking without words.  She was as confused as I was.  Kirara sniffed Sango, and suddenly growled.  Kirara only growled like that at one thing: demons.

And so, what had finally haunted my dreams came to pass.  I had many other nightmares of course, but the idea of Sango being my enemy was always one of them. She was strong enough to take on Inuyasha, and I was more than certain that if it came down to the two of us I would lose.  My lessons and our sparring had only proven that point.  I would lose if I fought Sango.

I felt the muscles in her sword arm contract.  I had not stopped touching her, and even though I knew she had been taken over by a demon, the Sango I loved was in there somewhere.  I lifted my head from her neck to kiss her quickly, a mere peck on the lips, and I detached myself from her.  When I did, the smallest possible blush painted her cheeks.  Sango might have a demon squatting inside her possessively, but Sango was still in some control.

She lowered her eyes, staring at the ground.  "You have my weapon…."  I nodded, and she smiled, looking a little proud.  "Good.  You should use it.  I didn't want to do it this way, Miroku.  But I should have assumed that you wouldn't be so desperate as to sleep with a succubus."

Before I had time to think about what she said, she raised the word and attacked me.

-

Back at the village, Shippo had followed Kagome's scent and had found her.  He heard footsteps approaching.  Immediately, he threw up a shield of fox fire around them.  When the villagers came in, they couldn't reach Kagome through the fire.  They glared at Shippo.

"Why isn't he asleep?  Sakura!  Didn't you feed him?" one of the elder girls yelled at the playmate Shippo had found.

She nervously looked around for a place to hide.  "Yes, I did!  I made food just as you taught me, and he ate it all!  Then he and the cute kitty-cat curled up and went to sleep.  I thought I had done well."  Sakura backed up against the wall, and Shippo found that he felt sorry for her.  "I graciously apologize and ask your forgiveness!"

When the woman went to go and raise a hand to strike her, Shippo launched into an attack.  He threw up another wall of fox fire around Sakura and her twin sister, who were now huddling together for protection, and then threw his mushrooms and leaves at the woman clustered around the women he wanted to save.  When a variety of poisonous snakes, spiders, and bugs appeared, the women screeched. 

The leader, Shippo recognized her as the one who had first spoken to Inuyasha, called for a retreat.  "We'll come back and get the jewel she wears for the Priestess later on.  Leave the girls.  They were idiots anyway.  We should have had stronger males to mate with to make these two.  They're a plight on the female race.  That fox cub can't keep those shields up forever.  When we do, we'll take what we came for and I'll get some material for a new fox-skin hat."

Shippo gulped, but when they had all left, he lowered the walls of blue flames.  He scampered over to the two girls, and knelt in front of them.  "Hey!  Guys!  Why are you crying?  They left!  You're safe now!"  He once again tried to look brave and heroic.  "I… I'm not going to let them hurt you!"

Lina looked up first.  "You should have just let them punish us.  Now we're going to be punished even more than before because we allowed ourselves to be saved by a man!"  Shippo was surprised at the hatred in her voice.

Sakura, the younger of the two tins, sniffled.  "Shippo… why didn't you and Kirara fall asleep like you were supposed to?"

He grinned.  "That's easy.  You feed me healthy food." He patted his stomach.  "If you two ladies knew anything at all about children, you would know that we hate healthy food.  I only made it look like I ate it. When you weren't looking, I dumped it in the potted plant.  As for Kirara, she doesn't like chicken.  It makes her sick.  She says it's because she's eaten so much of it since the village of the demon exterminators grew around her home, that if she eats so much as a little piece she loses her appetite completely for the next few days."

Glancing at Kagome's sleeping body, he smiled at them.  "Why don't we all move together that way I only have to have one shield up?  I have to stop them from getting to Kagome, but I can't let you two be hurt. You were both so nice to me.  Besides, you two can keep me from falling asleep."

The two girls nodded.  Pulling up Sango's sleeping mat, the girls curled up with each other, ready for bed.  They and Shippo talked, surrounded by the blue fire.  Every now and then a woman would come in and check to see if they were still awake.  Shippo lifted Kagome's arm and crawled underneath, safe and warm as he talked to his new friends.  As happy as he seemed, and as happy as he was being able to cuddle next to Kagome without getting any death-like glares from Inuyasha, he was troubled by the same question as I.

Where was Inuyasha?

-

Succubus!

Succubus or not, Sango was clearly in some control of her mind and her body.  For one, she had told me what type of demon had possessed her (meaning that it was now my duty to figure out a way of exorcising the demon from her) and secondly, her katana only sliced off a few millimeters of hair from my head.  I've seen her move with that sword before, and if she truly meant to kill me, she could have removed my head from my shoulders.  She was giving me a chance to fight back.

I struggled to quickly remove the weapon from my back, using it as a shield against her sword.  A flicker of approval went through Sango's eyes.  So this is what she meant when she said to use it!

The tongues of fire at Kirara's ankles brightened.  "No!" I shouted to the demon.  "Wait.  I can take care of Sango, don't you worry, friend.  Wait in the bushes.  You'll know what to do soon."  I dodged a large swipe at my torso, but just barely.  If not for the haraikotsu, I would have been cut down to my lungs.  "Sango!  Where is Inuyasha?"

Pausing for a second, I hurried behind her and grabbed her shoulders, trying to pin her hands behind her.  She merely dropped her sword and grabbed my wrists, pulling me over her head.  Sango had pulled this trick before in one of our mock battles, and I landed on my feet.

"My mistress wanted him.  She wants an heir, but she's not strong enough to get a demon male, and there is the fact that she devours the soul of a man while having sex to deal with.  But she is strong enough to capture someone who is half demon.  She wanted to do things the easy way by having Inuyasha give his seed to her indirectly and unknowingly, but since he wasn't interested in the woman she sent after him, she is going to illusion him into giving her his seed.  She says she requires no man for conception, merely what he has inside of him."

"And how is she planning on doing that?" I demanded.  Sango merely stared at me before she let go of one my wrists and slapped me upside the head.  She had always said she would smack some sense into me.  The answer dawned on me when I raised my leg to block a kick, our feet locking together to keep each other off balance, and thus avoid being kicked.  The woman that had been flirting with Inuyasha had always been drawing attention to her mouth….

Ingenious.  The succubus' plan was devious, underhanded, and a little gross, but altogether ingenious.

I blocked a punch, my free hand grabbing Sango's wrist as she did mine.  I pulled that way, hoping to throw her to the side, but she counter-balanced my movement.  I heard Kirara meow, and heard the bushes move.  Good.  She had picked up Inuyasha's scent and had gone to get the half-demon. 

Our other companion would be able to take care of the succubus, or at least get Kagome, who surely would not be tempted by her feminine wiles.  Succubae were never that strong to begin with, as they were trappers who used others for profit, as opposed to hunters like the wolves or Sesshomaru.

"Sango, why are you fighting me?"

"Because she wants you dead," she coldly answered, though I could see it pained her.  I was about to ask why the succubus would want me dead when she released me, turning around to face the direction of the shrine.  Now she had told me where the succubus was hiding!  "What does matter if I tell him something you don't want me to tell him?!  He's going to die, isn't he?  I can tell him anything I want, so stop telling me to keep silent!"  She turned back to me, and retrieved her sword, biting her lip.  Sango's sad eyes were asking for forgiveness silently as she explained.

"She wants you dead because you didn't eat the food, and so, you didn't become a victim to her verbal commands, as I did.  She has no way of controlling you if you don't eat the food.  She's also connected to the people she commands, able to see through their eyes and hear through their ears, knowing everything that they know, and vice versa.  She knows that you will only mate with me, and she wants female children to replenish the village.  However, she also knows that having sex with you would seem out of character for me, thus arousing your suspicions, and if you probe too deeply, you would find the aura of a demon.  She basically feels that your uncontrolled presence will ruin all her plans, and so she has sent me to take care of the threat to her plan.  If I kill you," she said very softly, lowering her head, "than all the others will be safe, and be released tomorrow, free to leave."

"The greatest good for the greatest number of people," I muttered.  She attacked again, and I blocked with the large boomerang.  I gazed at Sango proudly, trying to think of what to next ask her without being too direct.  I feared I already knew the answer to the question I wanted to ask Sango.  If I slew the Sorceress, then Sango would have no one to give her orders, and we wouldn't have to fight.  Should my plan fail, however, then I couldn't leave Sango thinking my soul would be mad at her.  "It's a good trade off, Sango.  I'd be happy to know that my friends are alive and well, and hopefully kicking Naraku's ass.  It's exactly the kind of deal that I would have made."

Her face softened.  "Thank you."

Our attentions wandered when we heard the roar of a cat from the shrine.  Sango let out a hiss of voice, her words suddenly sibylline in nature.  The succubus was speaking to me through Sango.  "You told the cat to come and get Inuyasha, and she told him to come after me."  I nodded.  Sango's mouth twisted into a cruel sneer.  "I see.  Then she wanted to use the smoke screen powder hidden in her armor to give you the chance to come and help them.  Incredible.  She was able to plan all this without my knowledge."

Sango blinked and the succubus vanished.  Instead, Sango's face looked as if she was in pain, and as if she were concentrating solely on one thing.  Her fingers flexed around the hilt in her hand, and the tip of the katana wavered.  It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was trying her damnedest to fight the succubus, or what she had told Sango to do: 'quit fooling around and kill him now'.

All the power and skill I knew she had came flying out of Sango all at once.  She dropped her sword from the shield I was using and landed on the palms of her hand, still clasping the sword and fighting the succubus with all her mind.  Her leg kicked my feet out from under me.  As she got up, she kicked again, her toes catching the edge of the haraikotsu and pulling it out of my grasp.

She lunged at me as I scrambled to retrieve the haraikotsu.  Even a kick from Sango couldn't send that weapon very far.  Awaiting this move, my bare feet caught her stomach and heaved her over my head.  She was only slightly dazed when she landed, having broken her fall like any good fighter.  Still, I knew that with the momentum she had had before I threw her, she still had to feel a bit of pain from her landing.  Sure enough, she was leaning on one leg more than the other.  A fall like that wouldn't have broken her ankle, but it had to be stinging from slapping the ground.

Unlike the woman who had been chasing me earlier that evening, I had no problem undoing my robes.  The purple robe was off before Sango could attack me next.  She came at me with a swipe that would have been child's play to block from my kneeling position.  I grabbed her sword arm and pulled her down, ignoring the knee-strike aimed at my ribs.  I could take a bruise or two, though I was coughing from the force of the strike.  She really wasn't playing around.

I slammed her hand into the ground.  Sango's face didn't show any sign of being hurt, either emotionally or otherwise, and she didn't drop the sword.  I slammed it down again, feeling like a pile of shit for doing this, but I wasn't about to let Sango willingly kill me, nor could I kill her.  This time, thankfully, she let go of her weapon.  Her free hand grabbed my neck, and I winced at her nails digging into my skin.  She was planning on throwing me, so I tightened the grip of my legs around her waist.  When she went to buck me off, I refused to move, steadying myself with the hands that were busy trying to tie the end of my robe around her struggling wrists.

Just as I had gotten one tied and had gone to move to the other, Sango struck.  Her foot struck my chin and pulled me down to the ground as she sat up.  I had to smile at the maneuver.  She was an extremely flexible girl.  As I was about to think that I could still tie her wrists together, my robes met an unfortunate end as she –somehow, I'm still not quite sure how- released the dagger she kept hidden in her arm.  I groaned as my makeshift rope was shredded.  There was still enough to tie her limbs together, sure, but now she would have caught on to my idea.  Besides, I had seen her use that trick before, so how come I had not compensated for it?  Also, now she had a weapon again.

Nearly dislocating my shoulder to grab the katana, my effort proved to be in vain anyway.  Her fingers grabbed my hair by the roots, pulling back my neck for a clean death.  My fingers closed around the hilt of her sword.  There were small beads of sweat trickling down her face.  Sango was still fighting for control of her body.  She sniffled, and I wondered if maybe some of those beads could have been tears.

"For… I'm….."  She struggled to find something to say to me, and for a moment I fancied that one of them might have been 'I love you'.  Finally, she seemed to give up.  "I'll take revenge for you, Miroku, so you don't have to die with the feeling of vengeance.  I'll never forget you."

I nodded weakly.   I could barely move my head because her nails had a very good grip on my scalp.  "Please, Sango, fulfill a dying man's wish?"  She nodded, and I gave her my most lecherous grin.  "One last kiss?  Please?"

For a moment, the old Sango broke through, free from the control of the succubus.  She smiled at me.  "Pervert."  Never had that word sounded so sweet and endearing.  Sango leaned down and kissed me gently, this time, even sorrowfully.

THUNK!

The sound of the hilt of the katana in my hand striking Sango's head was appalling.  Her head landed on my shoulder, and I crawled out from under her, throwing aside the sword.  I leaned over her body, rolling her over so that she lay on her back, and I took her pulse.  It was still steady.  She was just unconscious.  I let out a sigh of relief.  I patted down her hair and turned her body so that she could not roll away or swallow her tongue.  I covered her with my shredded outer robe, and took her sword.  Before I left, I knelt back down and kissed her forehead.  I didn't want to part with Sango.  However, I knew there was a demon to deal with, so I started up the steps to the shrine.

I got all the way to the top when I met up with a very large Kirara and mad half-demon.  Inuyasha stared at me, not asking about my attire.  "You're too late, Miroku.  I just killed the succubus.  Besides, I don't think you want to go in there.  It smells.  She was keeping the holy fire going by using the bodies of her victims.  There's so much evil in that shrine that it would take _Kagome_ a few days to clean it out."  He began to leap from arch to arch, and looked back at me, wondering why I hadn't moved.  "What the fuck is it, monk?  I got a woman to save here, you know!  I don't have time to deal with you standing there gawking like an idiot!  Are you staying or going?"

With a sigh, I climbed on Kirara's back.  "You couldn't have gotten rid of the succubus fifteen seconds earlier!  We'll catch up, Inuyasha.  I'm going to go and get Sango first."

A moment later, with a claw mark or two in my back when Kirara worried I had seriously hurt Sango, I was holding the unconscious woman in my arms, sitting atop the large cat.  I wrapped my robe around her upper torso to give her some dignity, and held her close.

I was going to have a lot to answer for when she woke up.


	13. Promise

Dressing Wounds

AN: Is sitting and reading CC Sakura, Master of the Clow, Book 4. … Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!! goes all PoF-mode I love it when people admit their true feelings, don't you? It just makes you feel all fuzzy warm inside! And so, please pardon me when I write this, because there is no way to make this sound _nice_. And now I have you all worried, but cheer up! I'm in such a good mood… oh, I want to draw so very badly now…

I disagree.

It's just that simple.

All of you are saying that Sango should kick Miroku's ass, and I agree that he came out to be more of a jerk than I wanted when I originally wrote chapters 11/12, but really: beat him? You all see, this is the one problem I have with Mirosan fics, and that is the fact that Sango hits Miroku; it's funny because he still gropes her even though he knows he's

going to get hit, but hitting really isn't that funny, so pardon me when Sango doesn't go crazy and kick his ass in this fic. Because isn't a sign of really being in love the ability to change and grow for the better, and really, to be able to forgive?

That being said, I hope that this chapter will make logical sense while still being true to their characters, and not disappointing you.

That being said: Yay! Thank you for making me achieve over 200 reviews!! purr (And this still many chapters left in this fic…. O.O)

-- And sorry for not updating for awhile there. Life got hectic for a bit… 

Queenizzay: Making people mad at Miroku really wasn't what I was aiming at… it just happened… I actually wanted it to be just plain old dramatic, and for him to be a sweetheart in the end.

SangoLancer:… if you're 13 and reading this… if you read any of the lemony parts… just don't tell me. I prefer to keep my naivety. giggle

Keiko: No, you're right. Defeating her was easy, from this perspective, (We don't know how the battle against Inuyasha went, after all.) I would have written more of that, but I still lack confidence in my fight scenes.

Tsuki: Sorry if I made you confused. Sango stopped fighting Miroku _before_ the demon died; or, the demon died _after_ Sango stopped.

Aamalie: Scribe Figaro as in Scribe Figaro productions? O.O They write fan fics? Note to self: add reading to list of things do when net connection lives again. Soulless Miroku to me was always prettier, dangerous, possibly blood sucking Miroku… mm, that monk could suck on my neck at any time! giggles… wait, you said forgiving…. O.O Aishiteru, Aamalie-chan!! At least one person understands! bounces up and down and then get cramps Owwie… as for the chapter thing… hm, I will definitely consider it when I get my net back. I need some help with one chapter.

Silver: Yup… I need to see this episode soooo badly… this is just my crappy version of what might happen so that in continues the story without plot holes (as I'm trying to make it like the anime) and it also won't give anything away to people who haven't seen that episode.

Lily: Sorry I kept you waiting so long for the update… but at least last one came at a good time, right? -'

Icy: Um… please keep an open mind? winces

Joanna2 and Sangosnewsoul: Aw, you are such sweethearts! I'm all giggly now… (no caffeine either…) Just wait till you see what I have planned!!

Divine-red-Crayon: I think that was actually the biggest fight scene in the story, but I could be wrong.

Amara: I would love some constructive criticism. It can be practice for when I get essays back this year. (So what if it's considered "bad form" to call famous historians liars? I want to!) Hopefully you haven't forgotten about me and my little baby here… I swear to god I usually update better than this!! cries And I used to take karate… I plan on doing it again after I pay off 15,000 of loans for university…. (I'm 20 years old and 3100 dollars in debt. It's disgusting.)

April May: Ah…. Yeah…. (I owe the library some fines. Shh!!)

Spike of Doom: I'm trying to find a way to make them fight for real again so Sango can kick his ass.

Corisu: You have to forgive Inuyasha though. It's because of his puppy ears. (psst! I'll let you and Aamalie on a little secret. I'm making this a trilogy. All I have to do is finish the second part.)

Demon X: …There will be lemon-esque parts coming up… this chapter's just fluff though!

Lucid: Oh! Try and figure out which line it was! Now I'm curious!!

Windigo: Another wonderful reviewer. Wow. I'm getting a long by word of mouth! (Thank your friend for me. They made me feel fuzzy warm.) Yea, I just wanted to make a M/S fic that was different. Apparently I'm doing well.

Umi: DON'T WORRY! I'm not stopping this story annnnnnyyyy time soon!! (And yea for MKR and CLAMP!)

Suicidalslayer: Good to know someone is reading the AN's!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I hope to hear from you again!

ENJOY!

(And sorry again….)

Chapter Thirteen: Promise

I awoke with a pounding headache. I shifted under the heavy blankets, feeling the tight pull of bandages over painful bruises when I moved. I opened my eyes, wondering where I was. From the hard wood floor, I recognized that I was in the large mansion of the village.

A hand shifted into a more comfortable position around my waist. I rolled over and found myself staring at Miroku. His lips were slightly parted as he slept, his hair escaping from his ponytail to stretch out in every direction. He was fast asleep.

For a moment I wondered in horror if I had completed the wish of the succubus and had slept with Miroku, stealing his soul in the process. It was less than half a second that I had this thought. I felt his breath on my cheeks and felt my memories return to me. My face softened at the thankfulness I felt at not having to fulfill my deal with the succubus, and so any anger I felt at his arm around me or his proximity in the otherwise empty room, was forgotten.

Instead, I allowed myself to imagine that the peaceful look on his face was because he was holding me, and that the entire house was ours instead of merely one room. Careful, not wanting to awaken Miroku, I reached out and patted down the dark wisps of hair that had escaped during the night. He reacted with only a sharp intake of breath, his arm instinctively tightening around me. I allowed myself to be held closer, our individual mattresses nearly on top of each other now. Seeing that he had tossed and turned until his blankets were now crushed between us, I fished them out and tossed them back over him.

Satisfied that Miroku would be more comfortable that way, I yawned, and smiled at Miroku, even though he wouldn't be able to see the expression. I moved my pillow closer to his, so that our foreheads were touching. I stroked his cheek, and I placed my hand over his breast, letting out a sigh. Though I knew that he was alive from the way his sweet lips seemed to kiss mine in the darkness, it was comforting to feel the steady beat of a heart beneath my palm.

The lack of sleep drew me back to the land of dreams, but not before I whispered a handful of words to him, wishing I could tell him when he was awake. The words, however, were safest said in the night, when pleasant reveries plugged his ears and no one could see the way my lips shook when I said them; safest said in the darkness where I could pretend I was strong enough to tell them to his face when he was awake.

It scared me. I wanted to hide. I wanted to run away from my own feelings. I had learned that feelings only ended up in pain, yet I had taken a gamble with Miroku, and I had lost. I did love Miroku. I don't know when I fell in love with him, but somewhere along the journey, I had. I wanted what he had to offer me, a returned love that could be inviting and friendly as much as it could be passionate and even a little perverted, just like him.

I'm sure to a lot of people it sounds silly, being afraid of love, but I was. I knew now that love had always been the feeling in my heart when I had been with Miroku –fighting, talking, walking, being around him in general- but I still didn't understand why I felt that way, or how. I suppose that being a slayer meant I deal too much with the physical. If I want to know how this move will kill a demon, then I can always cut open the body and find out, or even look it up in one of Kagome's books. But how can I dissect love?

Finally, I closed my eyes again, regaining all the sleep I had lost by fighting with Miroku in the first place. Under his arm, our pillows mashed together so that his face was close to mine, I slept, feeling safer than I had in a long time.

But if I happened to dream of a future with Miroku, then it was with mixed blessings.

-

I awoke late in the day. I had been awake for a long time, but I didn't want to get out of bed should I disturb the man that slept next to me. I was more than content to lay next to him, letting his scent and touch remind me who was holding me and to simply be happy. I tried my best not to wonder why we were still in the village, and I rationalized that our other friends were okay, otherwise Miroku would never have fallen asleep.

When I heard the shoji blind slide open, I knew I was correct. I turned my head to see Kagome –with Inuyasha looking over her shoulder- at the doorway. I gave them both the tiniest of waves with my hand, and then motioned for them to go away. The blind closed again, and I began to try and work my way from out of the blankets without waking up Miroku.

Demon slayer or not, I got absolutely nowhere. His eyes opened and he lifted his head. Unaware of how close I had become during the night, he stopped when our faces touched, surprised. He stared at me, his eyes growing as I closed the small space between us and gave his lips a quick peck. "Go back to bed, Miroku. I'm just going to talk to Kagome."

He agreed, but didn't move. His hand lifted from my waist to clasp my hand. "I want to be able to talk to you today as well. Please make sure to put some time for me into you schedule, Sango."

"Anytime, Miroku." I slipped out from the blankets, finding myself dressed in the black suit I wore under my armor and my yukata. I felt his eyes on me and when I turned around he was smiling innocently. I wondered what the smile was about, and found my belongings had been moved into the room. I slipped into my yukata, and was still doing it up when I entered the hallway.

Kagome pounced on me when I closed the door to the bedroom. Inuyasha seemed to have vacated, and I don't know where Shippo and Kirara had gone. Her blue eyes were as wide as the ocean as she stared up at me, peering at my face closely. She crossed her arms. "Okay. I know for a fact that you and Miroku didn't have sex, so why do you look so happy?"

I shrugged. I know that Kagome would keep my secret if I told her why I felt so lighthearted, but if anybody deserved to be told first, it was Miroku. Kagome merely smiled, looking wise and secretive, more so than her age should have allowed.

"You know, you two looked really cute sleeping together like that…."

"It was fairly comfortable." I didn't try to deny anything. I had a feeling that Kagome would spot me lying a mile away. I kept my answers short or non-verbal because I didn't want to start rambling, or let anything slip until we were in private. Then I could maybe tell Kagome that Miroku has the nicest heartbeat to fall asleep to, that he smells great, and that he gives me enough room to not feel smothered. I'd even like to tell her that both of us are restless sleepers by nature, but when we hold each other at night, we're still.

"Kagome, what happened last night? I know all about Inuyasha from being connected to the mind of the succubus, but I don't know what happened to you, or anything that happened after Miroku knocked me out."

She filled me in: Shippo had protected her and his two new friends until Inuyasha killed the succubus, thereby eliminating any influence over the villagers. It turned out that the succubus had been exaggerating the hatred of the females of the village. They said they'd no trouble killing the villagers in their town because none of them were actually their husbands, but bandits that had killed all the real men and taken their places. Once they realized that the succubus wouldn't leave, it was too late. The succubus merely had to utter a word and the women would bend over backwards to drink her blood.

"Lending us rooms in this house was the least they could do. They kept on apologizing. Many of them even up and left, unable to bear with what they had done under the influence of the succubus." When she said this, she looked at me from the corner of my eye, judging my reaction. I had been under that same influence, but I wondered if she knew what I had been ordered to do. I said nothing, and kept looking straight ahead. "The villagers were even more adamant about us staying here after that girl, Yue, spoke to them about Miroku. Hard to believe that the same man you always call a pervert, she called a great role model for men."

At this my silent façade broke, and I snorted with disgust. "I'm certain that she would know. What was she judging by? His size?"

Kagome was shocked that I had made such a reference. She pulled me to a stop, only afterwards remembering that I had bruises underneath my clothes. She released my arm, and looked up at me with those intelligent blue eyes. "Sango, I haven't gotten a chance to talk with Miroku yet, but I have spoken with Yue. They didn't have sex. She wanted to, but he said that he couldn't do it because it wasn't right. He said it wasn't right because his heart belonged to someone else, and because if he wanted to create life, he wanted it to be with you."

Quietly, I turned away from her and kept walking, thinking about this new information. I really did need to talk with Miroku. Kagome caught up with me. I slowed down, and smiled at her. "So, who was it who decided that I should sleep with the monk?"

She looked nervous. I knew I wasn't going to like her answer. "Well, uh, I was still asleep from those drugs in the tea… would you believe that Miroku suggested it and Inuyasha agreed with him?"

Now I was pissed. "That idiot! You mean that monk decided to suggest 'Hey, Inuyasha, allow me to take this unconscious girl to bed with me!' and that your stupid boyfriend actually decided to agree with him? That's the most asinine idea I've ever heard! I'm going to kill that stupid monk! What the hell would make Inuyasha agree to such a perverted plan!?"

Kagome winced, though she was still blushing from my mention of Inuyasha as her boyfriend. Kagome wasn't the only observant person in our group. Miroku and I had both noticed the way that she and Inuyasha looked and acted around each other. "Um… he allowed it because Miroku suggested that if he took you to bed, than Inuyasha had an excuse to stay in the same room with me."

I gaped at Kagome. Never had I thought that Inuyasha might want to…. I leaned in, expectantly. "So?" I demanded, wanting information. "Did you two do anything? Did he hold you? Did he try to kiss you? Does he smell good? Miroku smells good."

She smiled up at me, looking a little nervous. "He did hold me. And he does smell very good. I mean, I guess that because he's half dog demon, some people would always wonder if he smelled… like a dog. I suppose it's a valid question. He just smells like Inuyasha."

I knew what she meant. Males had a very different scent than females; female scents could be categorized, while males couldn't. Had I tried to describe what Miroku smells like, I would quickly become tongue-tied. On the first level, he uses the same soap that Kagome and I do. I suppose that the idea of Miroku and Inuyasha smelling like kiwis and mangos was more than a little entertaining. Underneath that, there were their real scents, and those couldn't be identified. It was just _them_, their individual scents that made them seem attractive to some people and be repulsed by others, the aroma of what made Miroku and Inuyasha… Miroku and Inuyasha.

Her blush deepened. "He tried to kiss me. I mean, that is we almost kissed. But then he stopped and just upped and left on me. I don't know why, but it was enough for me to know that for a moment he wanted to kiss me. Inuyasha will come around to acknowledge his emotions one way or another sooner or later, one way or the other."

"Then does that mean you've forgotten all about this idea that he only wants Kikyo?" I asked gently, knowing that Kikyo was a touchy subject.

"Well, I'd be an idiot not to realize that the reason why he protects me so faithfully is because he cares about me. He may tell me that it's just because I'm a valuable asset to the team, being the 'shard-detector' and all, but… I just wished that he would stop calling me that. It's fairly demeaning."

"Do you want me to talk to him about it?" I offered. I knew how to handle Inuyasha, when he was in a good mood. Kagome often knew how to deal with him better than I did, but she was too close to deal with a tender subject. Inuyasha would realize how close she was, and then he would push her away, getting territorial.

She shook her head. "No. I'll tell him myself when the time is right. Hopefully I'll do it without losing my head. I just don't want you to say anything to him because I don't think he realizes we talk so much. If he did, he'd clam up even more than normal., afraid I was telling you everything that he did or said, when I don't, just as you wouldn't betray Miroku by telling me everything he said or did."

Recalling the way he had touched me before, before I had gotten mad at him, I knew that she was correct. I didn't tell Kagome everything; a lot, but not everything.

Laughing, she looped her arm through mine and started pulling me in the direction of the kitchen. "Come on, Sango! I smell food! I want you to meet Yue too. You both have the same taste in men. And you have to tell me everything that happened to you after we went to bed! Miroku's been asleep, so I haven't gotten the chance to ask him yet, so you'll have to tell me everything. Like why in the world he needed to knock you out!"

-

"I thought I could find you here." I turned around to see Miroku leaning on a tree, his staff loose in his hand. He was standing in the clearing in which we had fought.

I turned back to looking at the places where our fight had crushed the thinning grass, or dug into the soft dirt. "It's a good place to come and think," I told him, before I sighed. "So, where should we start? I've been thinking about that a lot too, trying to come up with something to say that summarizes everything, but I haven't had much luck." I heard him come close to me, and take my hand in his. I held on to him securely. I'd missed him holding my hand. Looking up, I knew the worry in his eyes had been caused by me. Looking at Miroku, I knew where to start. "I'm not mad at you."

Some of the worry dropped away from his face. I pulled him to a fallen log, where we could sit down and talk instead of having to stand, but he resisted. "Let's get away from here. There's a well on the other side of the shrine. I'm sure some cold water would help your head feel better."

Agreeing, we walked hand to hand toward the well. "I guess we should start at the very beginning, shouldn't we? Then we can work our way forward. I just wish I knew where the very beginning was."

"Kohaku," he said softly, almost in a whisper. The sound of his staff could have drowned out his voice, but I heard it. Hearing my brother's name fall from his lips like that, it sent a chill down my spine. When I was silent, he explained how Kohaku was the very beginning. "Before I ever entered your life, there was your brother. Therefore before we can start talking about you and I, we have to discuss you and him."

Now I was starting to get mad. I pulled my hand away from his, but he held me fast… yet gently. Instead of pulling away, I leaned into him. I think that I was trying to be intimidating, but Miroku was just patient with me. "Kohaku wasn't even involved in this situation! He…."

"Sango, he was involved. You know he was, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten so mad at me just for speaking his name." His stopped walking and leaned his staff on a tree, so that he could wrap both his hands around mine. Under his patient glare, I found my anger battling a sense of comfort that I worried to fully experience might make me soft. "You just experienced the same kind of thing that helped put your brother into Naraku's power. Are you truly trying to tell me that there isn't anything or any part of you that has some kind of emotion to shed? I'm always here to listen to you if you need to vent, or even to use as a punching bag if you really need one."

He was right, of course. Miroku was rarely wrong, I had found. I had been through something akin to what Kohaku must have been through. I had thought that myself. I looked down at the ground, nervously licking my lips as I thought about what to say. Could I even say anything? What was there to say at this situation?

"I'm not going to forget facing off with you like that for a long time. Which is why I think I'd like to take a short break from our sparring. I still would like to keep teaching you, Miroku, because it's good exercise and it actually helps me a little too, but I don't think I could deal with fighting with you right now." I looked to catch him nodding in agreement. When I looked at him, I felt all the conflicting emotions crash together, trying to escape first. I focused to keep myself on topic, my voice becoming wavering. "I can understand even more now, why Kohaku doesn't want his memories back. Now I wonder if it would be right for me to force those memories back to him. It made think, that he was still the same person without them, that maybe I could get my brother back without having to force those memories upon him. But then I remember how he was shy when I hugged him, and I don't think that I could deal with the idea of him becoming tense or recoiling whenever I tried to hug him. Besides, all the happy memories we have, he should be entitled to those, right? But then… he'd get all the bad ones again. Is it… selfish of me to want him to remember, especially when I think about what I could have done to you, and I want to forget….."

He cupped my cheeks, making me look at him. My hands freed, I didn't know what to do with them, so I wrapped them around the fabric of his robes. The familiar fabric touching my skin made me feel better, my hands absorbing the warmth from his clothes. "Sango, this is your brother you're talking about. He's stronger than you think. After all, he takes after you. You might have been under the control of the succubus, but you were still fighting her, the same way that your brother is fighting Naraku. Kohaku loves you, he wouldn't hurt you of his own volition. He's fighting Naraku as much as we are, I'm sure of it. When we take him back, you're just going to have to show him how much you care about him, and love him, and one day, he'll be able to forgive himself."

I felt myself give him a watery smile, remembering that Miroku always told me to keep smiling because we weren't beyond hope. In return, he smiled at me. His hand moving to my back, he continued leading me to the well he had spoken of, and I still held on to his robes, resting my head on his chest.

"There's nothing to forgive," I mumbled. "It wasn't his choice to fight our friends and family."

"We both know that, but as you've pointed out to me a few times, he does not realize that. I know that if it was me, I would be ashamed that I had allowed myself to be controlled, and think that I was weak, though that is far from the case. We're only human, Sango. So I hope you don't think me impertinent when I tell you that you're still my brave, strong Sango, and that I have so much more respect for you now because you were fighting her. I don't think that I would have been able to fight her if I had been under her control."

I was practically purring at his fine compliments, and feeling better just from talking with him. When he called me 'his Sango', I didn't mind at all. True, it was a tad possessive… but I think that's why I liked it. It accented the fact that the only people I had left in the world besides my brother were my friends, and he was one of them. If I was his, then he was mine. My Miroku, my perverted monk…. We could always find a strength and comfort in each other that we couldn't see in ourselves.

"You would have been able to fight her," I promised him. "After all, you fought Yue, and she had the powers of the succubus. I just wonder why she didn't give you the same food that we had, with those herbs to make you susceptible to control. It would have been easier if she just gave them to you and then told you to… have sex with her than it would have been to seduce you. After all, she was going to kill you in the middle of sex anyway, so it wouldn't matter if you knew their secrets or not."

He looked a little nervous. The only reason why I could see his face was because we had reached the well and he sat me on the stone edge so he could draw up some of the cool water. "Um… she did try. She tried to make me eat the meat, but I couldn't. The broth alone was enough for me. She really was a good cook, with carrots and broccoli and everything in the soup, but the times that you or one of the others point out that I'm not supposed to eat meat have kind of stuck with me. So, I figured that I would start giving it up, when I can. On the road when all we have is fish, it's kind of difficult to avoid eating meat, but yesterday I could. I just ate around the chicken."

"I won't mention that again then, since it disturbs you so." I took off the gauze that was wrapped around my head, pausing when I thought of something else. "Miroku, if you were in the same position as I, would you really have tried to make that same deal?"

"You mean, would I have agreed to kill you providing that my friends got out all right?" I nodded, and he finishing bringing up the bucket of water. He set in between us and pulled out fresh bandages from the pockets of his inner robe. Instead of answering, he thought a long time, playing with the bandages. I gave him all the time he needed.

Miroku sighed. "See, that question depends on a lot of different factors. I was a target anyway, and she was an idiot to have ever agreed on letting them go, because she had you under her control. It probably just made it easier on her if you didn't fight, so really, making that deal didn't mean anything. She just wanted Inuyasha as a stud, Kagome because of the Shikon jewel, and she didn't care at all about Shippo or Kirara. But yes, I think I would have made the same deal if I had been in that exact same position."

He looked down at me, and almost looked curious, except that his face was serious. Miroku in his serious face always kind of sent a chill down my spine. "Does that bother you?"

I shook my head no. "It would bother me more if you risk your own life and the lives of our friends to try and save me, I think. I mean, the idea is noble, but then, who would take care of Naraku, or save my little brother?" I lifted my legs and hugged them to my chest. I sighed deeply. "Houshi-sama…." He looked a little surprised that I would still call him that, after all the times I called him Miroku when we're alone. "Promise me, please, that if anything happens to me, you'll take care of Kohaku for me? Kirara would do it, but he needs a human companion too. You're a man as well, which is good because you'd understand him more than a girl will. Besides, who else could I ask? Kagome will probably eventually have to return to her own age, and Inuyasha… wherever he goes, I don't think that Kohaku will be able to go with him. But you, besides the fact that it might just give you a little taste of parenthood and probably be a much better role model than Inuyasha, you also… know me better, so that when he asks you why I'm not there, you can give him an honest answer."

Miroku smiled at me and kissed the tip of my nose. "I would be honored to take care of your brother for you, Sango." He ripped off a piece of cloth from the pile of it he held and he dipped it in the cold water. Holding my chin in one hand, he held the other one against the bump on my head from where he had knocked me out.

"Did it bother you?" I asked quietly. He looked confused. "You asked me if it bothered me that you would save our friends before you saved me. I was wondering the same thing about you. Does it bother you?"

Shaking his head, his fingers slipped into my hair as he held the cloth to my head. "If it was you that killed me, Sango, then I would have a good reason to haunt you, and you don't have the ability to keep _spirits_ out of the bath houses, now do you?" he teased.

I laughed despite myself, though deep down I still felt a little warn and weary. Talking with Miroku, just his presence in general, was soothing me over, so when he gave me the idea of a ghost Miroku running and peeking into all the bath houses in Japan just to satisfy himself, I found myself giggling, barely able to keep myself from laughing so hard I'd fall back into the well. "Miroku, only you would be so perverted as to think of death as a way for you to see a bunch of females naked!"

"Well, it's true." He didn't try to admonish my condemning in any way. He just leaned back, and listened to me laugh. When the giggles finally stopped, I opened my eyes to dry them from tears of laughter, and once again found him giving me that loving, far-off gaze I could barely remember my father sending my mother. His cheeks went a little bit pink from being caught staring at me. "You have a very nice laugh, Sango."

This time it was my turn to turn pink. "You like knowing that you make me happy, don't you?" When he nodded, I very shyly crawled into his lap, so that I could lean my head on his chest and curl up against him. I moved very carefully so that I didn't send us both tumbling backwards into the well. "You do."

"I do what?"

"You make me happy." I closed my eyes, and indulged in the secret pleasures of being held in his arms and listening to his heart beat. He didn't even need to hold me back to make me feel safe and warm. I didn't want to feel safe and warm. I liked being able to flutter away to be myself, to have my own sphere of influence or to fight, and to know that his arms would be open for me when I returned.

"You make me very happy. Yet… I can't help but feel that this whole scenario is my fault. Had I agreed to bear your child, then you would have had no need to go off with Yue, and I never would have had to fight you. You make me so happy, Miroku, you make me smile and laugh, and I feel as if I haven't given you anything…." I felt him move to talk, and I interrupted. "Please, let me finish first? Miroku, I guess that's it's time I explain to you why I've always told you no when you asked me to bear your child…."

He removed the damp cloth from my head, carefully moving to dip it in the water. Unable to wring it out one handed, I did it for him, and then handed the cloth back to him so that he had an excuse to wrap his arm around me. "I think I already know why, Sango. It's because you aren't ready for a child, right? You're a demon slayer, and protecting other people must come first. You can't protect other people if you're stuck in bed with a sore back and morning sickness, now can you?"

"Sometimes, Miroku, I think you know me better than I know myself. That's part of it, yes. Also… I'd like to be married when I have my first child. Ideally, when the demon village was still around, I wanted to retire and get married and have a family, and once they started training I could start hunting demons again, but now that there's just my brother and I, I don't think that's exactly an option anymore." I nearly forgot what I was trying to say when he removed the cloth and settled for gently stroking my black hair away from my face. "I just want my child to be born into a family. But whatever my reasons, it's selfish of me to expect you to conform to them."

"No it isn't. Sango, which would you consider more selfish: denying a man a child because you want a loving household to raise the child, or expecting a woman to give up her dreams and autonomy to give that man what he wants?"

I knew he was talking about himself; it was more than slightly obvious. However, part of me wanted to say the first was more selfish just so that I could debate something with him, and get my mind off other things. Why is it that before I was so worried about forgetting things like the worries in my life, and now I want nothing more than to let them drop from my mind so that Miroku could have all of my attention? Was I growing up, or was it just that spending time with Miroku may have been pleasurable, but increased the problems in my life until I couldn't hold them all and I was forced to let some of them go?

"The second one is, I suppose," I mumbled.

"And if a father wanted to take his son from his mother to be trained to become a monk, would that also be rather selfish? Or if they both left to journey the world and left her home alone? Would that not also be selfish?"

"Yes," I hesitantly agreed again.

"Then what if the mother was already roaming around with them? The father could train the boy himself, to a certain point, and it would give the mother a chance to raise him to become a virtuous man instead of a womanizer like his father. Wouldn't that be more suitable, and allow the family to stay together? Sometimes, when I think about what life could be like after we defeat Naraku, that's the life I imagine us living. You've given me your trust, and that dream, Sango, as well as your fine company. Besides, I promised you that I would ask you to bear my child again once we defeat Naraku, and by that time I'll have made sure that you love me, so I'll be sure that you'll say yes."

I looked up at him, and found him looking straight ahead, and immensely happy. Watching him smile and his eyes lay on the horizon to a future I couldn't see, I wanted to make him even more happier and tell him that I loved him already, but it was still too early for me.

"Sango, I didn't… I couldn't spend the night with Yue." I didn't expect it sound so hard for him to have told me that. I didn't know if I should tell him that I knew already or not. I wanted to hear it from Miroku's lips, just as Yue had.

Reaching up, I lifted my cheek from his body to look at him properly, and placed a finger on his lips to silence him. "Kagome already told me. She heard it from Yue. You don't have to tell me anything else, just please tell me why? I want to hear it straight from you."

He blinked, and for a moment I saw an expression of sadness and horror that I never hoped to see on his face. It was hard to explain what it was, but it was gone in a second anyway. He forced himself to laugh, though perhaps some of it was real. "Sango, I'm afraid that you've misunderstood me. I was raised by Mushin. I can't remember my mother at all, and my father only vaguely. The parts about him that I remember vividly, I rather wish I would forget. I want my child to be raised in a loving household, just as you do. I think all parents want that for their children.

"Yes, had I found a woman who would bear me a child, I wouldn't have loved her, not at first. But I would honor her for bearing my child, and respect her, and hopefully one day it would have turned into love. I even would have married her, if she wished, to make an honest woman out of her. I've certainly never said anything against marriage, now have I? Lastly, I wanted a woman who knew and accepted what it would mean to bear my child. That should I fail in defeating Naraku, our child, providing we had a male, would gain the kazaana, and not live into his early twenties."

I held on to him tighter. Early twenties? Miroku was twenty already, twenty-one soon. How much longer did he have left? Four years? Two years? Twelve months? I didn't say anything. Any question I asked would have sounded like I was fishing for compliments, because knowing him, he would have turned his answer into some suave comment that made me blush.

"But then, Sango, I found somebody who accepted me the way that I am, and I hope that one day she might be able to accept the idea of bearing me the family for which I have longed. I do love her, even if sometimes it scares her to hear me say that. I never expected to fall in love before I had a family. That's why I couldn't sleep with Yue. It's not fair, to me, to you, or to Yue, because I already love someone else, and I could never stop loving her."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, his hands placed themselves against my thighs to keep me from falling off his lap. I didn't try to be flirtatious when I spoke to him, but I suppose that I was anyway. I couldn't help but blush, and I wanted to look shyly down at the ground, but at the same time I wanted to see how serious I was, and so I ended up looking up at him dartingly, reddening more and more each time our eyes met. "I know you said you wouldn't ask me this again, Miroku, until after we defeated Naraku, but do you think you could please break that promise for me?"

He seemed confused for a second, until he remembered what promise I was asking him to break. He took one of my hand in his, leaving the other wrapped around his neck. Closing his eyes, he did his best to try and look charming instead of nervous. "Sango… would you bear my child?"

"I'd be honored to, Miroku," I said with a smile. I'll never forget the pleasant shock on his face when I said that to him.

Miroku's dark eyes brightened. "Really?" I nodded and he suddenly had one arm wrapped so tightly around me that I could have been snapped in half, the other one laying against my cheek and drawing my face upward so that he could kiss me. My whole body seemed to tingle when his lips covered mine in a kiss that was filled with elation. The experience of his touch and the way my whole body seemed to grow warm took my breath away at the same time that it seemed to make me sigh. Finally, that sigh was released slowly, and he took the opportunity to sweetly run the tip of his tongue along the roof of my mouth, tickling me.

When he released me after that, my eyes were still closed, my lips still parted as I tried to get over the intensity of his kiss. Opening my eyes, I licked my lips thoughtfully, barely noticing how his eyes watched the movement. I swallowed, staring up at him, wishing I knew what to say to him. The moment needed some spoken word, rather than just us staring at each other. Right?

Slowly, my gaze fell from his, and I stared at something else, though I was so out of it I couldn't tell you now what it had been. Miroku smiled, somehow, I knew that he smiled, and he kissed my forehead gently before leaning his head on mine. We were happy just to be held by each other and to enjoy the comfortable silence wrapped around us.

P.S. I'm getting the net back on September 3rd. (At least, that's when the cable guy is supposed to show up.) As soon as I get the net back, to make up for the past 4 months… two chapters updated at once!!

(Just remind me. I have the memory span of a fish! )


	14. Spellcaster

Dressing Wounds

AN: I want to apologize for not updating sooner. The internet man was supposed to come last week, but no one ever told us that the reason why they are two phone jacks in the living room was because one line was for outside, and the other was for the buzzer system. So not only did we miss the internet man, I also went out and bought a new phone, thinking my old one was broken. (At least now we have an answering machine.)

Rather than reply to two whole pages of review, I'm going to make this one short and to the point and just answer questions. (Besides, you know I love you all. I say that every update! )

Aprill May: CCS is a very fluffy manga. I have to admit, once I look at my collection, that I really only have CLAMP and Rumiko Takahashi mangas. I think this is a sign I might need to write another Fuu/Ferio fic.

Sangosnewsoul: Hey, just because I reached the end of where the series is right now in the anime doesn't mean I can't go further. I'm following the manga, and there's a couple hundred chapters of them. (I'm a bad girl. I read spoilers.)

JadeGoddess: It means that she's agreed to bear his child, but (as she briefly says in this chapter) not until _after_ Naraku is defeated, that way she knows the father of her child won't suddenly die because of the curse. (Hasn't Sango already lost enough of her family?) And as for the idea that this means Miroku might not have an heir to continue on his vengeance, I have only this to say: there's still his friends, aren't there? At this point, they really are like one big family, so even if Miroku does die early, Naraku will still get his in the end.

Aamalie: Why was a 12 year old flashing herself? (And I call myself a Christian, but at least I don't flash my breasts and I admit to being a _bad_ one.) I will update the Blooded tonight to. Unless I have to crash first. I'm getting tired. (The screen is making my eyes hurt!) And yay! Online for twenty minutes, and I'm already downloading episode 160.

Inukura: You will have to wait and see.

I hope that this will make up for the time I was away. whips her bishy slave boys Okay, bring in the lime music! (Um… that was my warning that this is limey. I'll think of a more clever one next time, when my brain returns from vacation.)

Love y'all lots!

Chapter Fourteen: Spellcaster

I awoke with a start, the night air cool on my skin and the beads of sweat that had developed from my dream. What a dream it had been! I glanced around the camp, looking for any signs of anyone else being up and moving about. Everyone else was still asleep. I was glad. Kagome would probably think I had a nightmare, and then Inuyasha or Shippo would have to go and point out the shapes underneath my blankets which denied that idea greatly.

Thankfully, the affects were subsiding.

Ah, what a dream I had had, though! It had started off normal enough, nothing more than a passing fancy. I had dreamed that I had been enjoying a hot bath, letting the weariness of the road soak out of my skin. I could close my eyes, and relax, without fear of interruption.

Until, in my dream, I was interrupted. Sango slipped in, wearing her pink and white robe, without the green wrap around her waist. I tried to cover myself up, and demanded what she was doing in the bath house, but she just leaned over the tub and kissed me. No, she didn't even do that at first. She took my face in her callused hands and stared at me, and gave me one of her beautiful smiles, and told me that she loved me, and then she kissed me. Then she stepped into the water, despite the fact that she was wearing clothes.

When she stood in front of me in the tub, she undid the cloth that held her robe together, and took my hands, allowing me to take it off of her. I hesitated a moment, forgetting that it was a dream. She told me things that I don't think I could repeat to anyone, but I will try. She told me that she wanted me, that she had been wanting me to make her sigh as I had before, and that she wanted to please me as much as I her. There. But oh, they sound so hollow on paper! The true beauty of these words can only be heard, particularly when they are spoken by a beautiful, nearly naked woman that you love, and whose blush isn't caused by the hot water that surrounds us.

That's my Sango, so maidenly shy at the same time that she weaves a subtle spell of seduction around your mind!

I pushed the robe from off her shoulders and let it fall into the warm water. My hands slipped down to hers and I helped her to sit on my lap so that she didn't fall. Sango straddled me, her hands pulling my hair loose and playing with it; not brushing it, but playing with it, tossing it around, until she laughed. "Now it looks like you just got up."

While she had been playing with my hair, my hands had been exploring her back, too nervous to dare go near the front. I avoided her delicious posterior and I raised my hands to her hair to brush it so that it looked more becoming instead of disheveled. From there, I no longer knew where to go. Sango, thankfully, knew just how to show me what she wanted. She kissed my fingertips and my palms, my hands moving slowly to her chin. When she tilted her head back and grinded against me, I groaned in pleasure, and held my right hand gently against her back to steady her. My other hand moved down her throat, pressing on her neck as it roamed down, slowly coming to cup one of her breasts. Because she was sitting on me, she rose higher up out of the water, a spectacular shot of Sango. It wasn't just her face that was beautiful. She still grinded against me, driving me insane from the way her core was so close to mine. Her head still tilted back, my teeth grazed her soft throat as my fingers moved on to the more delicate task of touching her breasts in various ways, trying to find the one she preferred best, that worked the best to make Sango as aroused as I was quickly becoming.

"Mouth," she begged.

I was ashamed to think of my strong Sango as being reduced to begging, yet part of me was as aroused by that as I was ashamed. A warrior like her shouldn't have to _beg_, yet it was what she was begging for that made me growl triumphantly, as if I were as bestial as Inuyasha in his demon form. Me. She wanted _me_. She was asking for _me_. She was begging for _my _touch.

I was only too happy to oblige, and did so with fervor. I took her nipple into my mouth, and her grip upon me tightened, the grip she had on me underwater. Her hands steadied themselves on my shoulders, rubbing and feeling the muscles approvingly. She begged for more when I began to suck in steady beats, my tongue now and again darting across the nub between my teeth in an attempt to throw her off course. I soon switched to the other breast, and this time I bit her gently, some part of me feeling free at the idea of being this feral, of finding a woman strong enough and encouraging enough to handle and accept the darker side of me. I may have been too weak to control it, but she wasn't.

Yet as I slammed her into the boards that a moment ago I had been leaning against, crushing my lips against hers, my tongue deeply exploring her mouth, I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps she wasn't handling it at all, but rather enjoyed it like this. Sango was, after all, a fairly physical and competitive person, once you became close enough so that she appreciated it when you could be physical with her, so… it wasn't all that far fetched to think that Sango might like rough sex, right?

Which is where I remembered that it was nothing but a dream, and I immediately woke up again in the hot sweat. Still dressed in my robes, I left my staff though I picked up my blanket. The night was a slightly cool one, a sign of the coming winter. The shifting of my robes was so quiet that I didn't even disturb our restless sleeper and resident night watchman. A walk would do me some good, I figured.

Before I left, I had to walk by Sango. I knelt down at her side, just to take a moment to watch her sleep, and marked it in my mind. She had a tiny smile on her lips, and her hands were securely wrapped around her pillow. Rather than imagining Sango was protecting her pillow from a pillow-thief, I preferred imagining that she was pretending the item she held represented my arm, and that she dreamt of the day when she might be able to sleep next to me again. I know that I thought about that often enough. I also liked to imagine that the next time I spend the night with Sango, the reason she'll still have that miniscule smile, so attractive while she was asleep, was because I had just to made love with her and her smile was a sign that she had enjoyed it as much as I.

It has been three weeks since she made me that promise. As far as I know, we are still the only two who know. I know that she talks to Kagome a lot, but I think that she hasn't told our priestess yet. I'm glad. I can treasure it, though I do look forward to the day when our companions find out. That's when I can start flirting with Sango even while we're walking along. Oh, how sweet that would be!

Even sweeter… when she feels that she's ready for sex and then I get to go through that intricate dance of seduction with my Sango…. I look back constantly in pleasure to that one night when we played together, longingly remembering the way she moaned at my touch and the way her body rubbed against mine. While Sango may not be ready for sex, I wish that she would allow me to touch her in that way again.

Obviously, the easiest way of doing that would be to ask her, but I don't think that I want to ask her. I long to touch her, but I want her to ask me, or to give me some sign that she wants it as well. Otherwise, how am I to know if she wants me to touch her, or if she merely allows me to do so to satisfy my cravings? I can wait until she is ready before I touch her in that manner again. The only thing I worry about is that perhaps she is waiting for me –Miroku the lecher; Miroku, the Casanova- to weave my own charms around her. Ah, that is something I would only be too happy to do, but only if I knew that it was desired by my love.

I sat down on a rock, sitting cross-legged. Some meditation might help to calm me down, perhaps rid my mind of some of those perverted thoughts. They were such nice thoughts, though. They weren't even just about touching Sango in a sexual way. No, imagining sex with Sango… actually made me nervous, though with such dreams as I just explained to you, I know it sounds hard to believe. My favorite dream is just the one of being close to her and holding her afterwards, knowing that she found it pleasing.

Normally, after spending the night with a woman, there were different things happening. Most frequently, however, the woman I am with would curl up on my chest and go to sleep. I'll allow her to use me as a cushion, and lace my fingers behind my head, not even bothering to hold her back. She would sleep, but I'd lay awake and stare at the ceiling, always longing for something more.

Something more like Sango.

'What will she say when she finds out?' I wondered. 'I hope she doesn't laugh. Maybe I won't even have to tell her. Maybe she'll just never know. How else could she find out unless I told her? It's not as if she'd be one to judge….'

I was shifting my weight, uncomfortable, when I heard Sango's voice. "Can't sleep, Miroku?"

Turning, I found her rubbing her arms, looking a little chilly. I smiled at her. "Actually, the problem was I did sleep. My dreams were just a tad unsettling."

She moved closer to me, her eyes looking for room to join me on my rock. When she didn't see one, she settled for standing by me. I saw her try to stifle a giggle at the sight of my hair being wrestled out of shape. As much as I didn't like the idea of being a blunt of a joke, I didn't mind making an ass out of myself to lighten the mood of my friends, and I would always do anything to see _Sango_ smile. "Would you care to talk about it?"

_Oh yes, yes I would! I'd love to tell you everything I dreamed about, and then for you to tell me that you wouldn't mind in the least having sex with me so that we can just have it right here and right now!_

"No, that's quite all right," I said, a little shortly. She looked a little sad, and turned to leave. Damn it! Had she been looking at an excuse to stay with me? I cursed myself, and jumped off my perch. "Sango?" She stopped and turned around. I smiled at her, and held out my hand. "If you're not planning on sleeping for a little bit longer, I'd love some company. It's a beautiful night, probably one of the last that we'll be able to sleep outside before it becomes unhealthy. The stars are out, it's a full moon, and there's more than enough room under my blanket for the both of us."

Apparently I had been correct. She looked at me suspiciously, and then placed her hand in mine, her brown eyes looking almost teasing. "Miroku, you really are losing your touch. You're starting to sound as rational as I am. Soon you'll be forgetting entirely how to flirt, and I'm going to be the one trying to seduce you."

_Oh, for fuck's sake, please! Go right ahead and seduce me, just do something other than a blush so that I don't feel like I'm pressuring myself unto you!_

"Sango, you sound almost sad at the idea of me not being charming with my words."

Reaching up, her free hand patted my cheek. "Well," she said thoughtfully. "I don't like the idea of you using them on other girls, but I rather like you talking to me like you used to. Had you not tried to be rational and tried to be the old lecher I… I promised to bear children for, you might have said something about the stars singing and such…."

"A wonderful idea!" My Sango was so smart. My tightened around hers, and pulled her against me, my hand settling on her hip. I leaned down close, my lips brushing her ears as I began swaying back and forth, carrying her with me. "The stars are singing, Sango. They're singing just for you and I. You and I will dance under the dying moon, celebrating its endless cycle and the coming winter. Then, when the new moon comes in the spring, we'll dance again."

Leaning her forehead on my shoulder, her nose brushed my chin. "Promise?" I nodded, and she sighed. "Good. Miroku… you don't know how many times I wanted to do this with you… to dance with you. When we spend time in the cities and I see you dancing with other girls, I secretly always hoped that you would ask me. Although at first I would have to turn you down, because then you might have started getting ideas."

"You mean ideas that a girl like you might like a monk like me? No, Sango, I would never get an idea like that," I laughed. "So what brings you out of bed at such an hour, Sango? Couldn't sleep as well? Or did the moon of the night sing to your blood, ordering you to rise and dance for his pleasure?"

She shuddered in my arms. How stupid of me! I had forgotten about the chill in the night air, and about the blanket I still had wrapped around me. I wrapped it around both of us now. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you, but…." She blushed deeply. "It wasn't from the cold. Sometimes, I don't think you know just how much sway your words have, Houshi-sama. Although I still don't know how you can pull them off with so serious an expression. I've told you all this before. I don't see why I…. oh… you like hearing it."

I could read into the situation. I wasn't that much of an idiot. "Sango, then does that mean that when we're alone like this, you still want me to try and romance you?"

"Of course. I hate to think that just because I agreed to bear your children once this whole fiasco with Naraku is over that you might lose interest in me. A girl has to know that she's wanted, I figure. Having you flirt with me just… let's me know that. The same thing happens when you hold me like this." The longing in her voice was painfully obvious. Sango desired to be wanted; not lusted after precisely, for no woman who wants to be lusted after can speak of being held as if it were her sole desire.

No, Sango merely wanted to be loved, as I did. To feel as if we both had a place for each other in the world, that we had someone who cared for us, to dry our tears when we cried and kept us warm in the cold, make us smile when we were ill and to share in our joy when we were happy. That, I could give her. I would give her all the warmth and joy and love of which I was capable.

Her fingertips brushed the skin over my rapid heart. "Miroku, remember, how we were that night when we were supposed to be checking supplies?" Sango licked her lips, wetting them. She was apprehensive about this topic, though she looked relieved when I told her that I did. "I was just wondering… was there something wrong? Didn't you like that?"

Oh no. In my hopes that Sango might show a bit of initiative by engaging me into what Kagome had called a "make out session", I'm afraid that I accidentally began to make Sango doubt herself. She looked up at me to see me looking hurt, and I shook my head, trying to focus and find the right words to help me. "No, Sango. You… I only wish that you…." I sighed. Anything I said would sound corny or get me into deep trouble. "Sango, you did nothing wrong."

She mistook my sigh, her eyes darkening with sadness when she thought that I was lying to her, or treating her like a child. She may have been a few years younger than I, but I was hardly old enough to start treating her in such a manner! I leapt to defend myself. I stopped dancing with her.

"I was just hoping that maybe you might say something to me about it before I made another move on you because I wasn't sure if you liked it or not and I didn't want to go on courting you in a manner of which you disapproved!" I had said it so fast I was surprised she even knew what I was saying.

Apparently, though, she did know what I had said. "Miroku…." I loved it when she said my name like that. "You don't know _why_ I thanked you, do you? I thanked you because I liked it, and I didn't know how else to say that." She shifted her weight uncomfortably. "You made me relax, and you made me feel… like no one has in a long time. Actually, I know I haven't gone… you know, all the way through with…. Fuck. Miroku, yes, I did like it!"

Her face went a deep shade of crimson, and then she seemed to run out of bravery. She lowered her head. "I'm afraid that I didn't make a move on you because I might be able to play you, Miroku, but if I do that too often than I'm afraid you'd get to know that ploy too well. Besides, we had that trade off remember, and you were going to teach me how to be as slick with words as you are. I was hoping that you'd remember your offer, as you actually technically made it twice, and that then I'd be able to… you know, turn the tables on you. However, you didn't, so I guess that this means I get to try it by myself…."

She took a deep breath and then looked back up at me, her eyes darting away now and then from my concentrating face. "I… The… I think I'm scared of sex. I'm scared of the consequences, and I'm scared of the act, and I'm really scared of the feelings it involves. At least, when I think about it, I go cold and I feel uncomfortable, and I don't like that feeling. But when I'm with you, Miroku, I don't. I still know that I'm not ready to go that far, not with you, but with anybody. It's not that I'm scared of being with you, because now and then I think about it and it's a nice dream. I just have some things that I need to work out for myself first, something that I don't think that you can help me with, even though they involve you.

"I know that what I'm going to say is probably going to confuse you, and I'm sorry. I'm trying to find out what I like… the situations we're in as unusual as they are, that just promising to bear your children and then to flitting about doing whatever we want, whenever we want just isn't enough. We can't even be together without warding the area from Naraku… we didn't use any wards! That night that we…."

I shushed her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Sango, do you think that we could ever become like Kikyo and Inuyasha? Remember what Kagome told you?" It pained me to see her hesitate on her answer. "Sango, you know that I would never hurt you. I might do so without meaning to, like making you think that I don't enjoy our time together, but we trust each other. You've never betrayed that trust, not even for a moment, while I keep on risking it. I, at least, know that there's nothing that you can do that would ever make me hurt you. Now, tell me, what could I possibly do that would make you want to kill me?"

"Being with another woman…."

"Ah, but you promised that you would bear my children, and so, I need no other woman. Besides, even if I wanted to I couldn't because I knew that it would hurt you so. Now, what other fears can I alleviate?"

Sango pursed her lips and sighed. "Kohaku."

I shook my head. "Your blood is his blood. Besides, Kirara, he's all the family that you have left. Do you really think I could take him away from you?" I saw that her expression was the thoughtful, far-away one that made my heart ache the most. "Fuck Naraku! He can't possibly break what we're starting to grow between us, can he? No, let's talk about happier things, Sango." I smiled deliriously. "You were about to tell me that I was a sex god, I believe?"

She blushed, and allowed her train of thought to be moved to other matters instead of silly fears. Though they were quite realistic and I hated her for being smart enough to see them. If I wanted to hold Sango in my arms, then why should I have to go and ward off our tiny section of the world from Naraku's poisonous insects? Now that he had Kana at his side, it probably didn't even matter. Naraku, as much as I hate to admit it, was strong. Kana was his offspring, if one used that term very loosely. The wards might be pointless.

Damn him.

"Houshi-sama." My name made me return to the task at hand. Or rather, to the beautiful woman at my hands. "When we're walking, I like it when you hold my hand. I'm able to enjoy it, and still listen around for anything coming our way. Even just walking and talking to you, I like that as well. Hell, I just like being with you in general. But when we're alone, like this… maybe I'm just being silly. I did like being with you that night, Miroku. Often, since then, I thought about being with you like that again. I… I want you to touch me more, I think. Not all the time, because I like just being able to be held by you and talk. Communication is good, right? But… when we're say, under a blanket together and looking up at the night sky, I'd like to be touched like that, I think. Okay, just… right now, I want to be touched. A lot. I kind of had a dream about you, and I'd greatly prefer the real thing. I wouldn't mind being the first one to touch you like that, but I mean… will it have the same affect when you're, you know, not…."

I grinned and scooped her up in my arms, and I sat down at the base of the rock I'd been using as a chair earlier that evening. I deposited her beside me. "You have a very analytical mind, Sango. Why don't you use it, and just experiment? Nobody ever knows what the other person wants, how they like being touched. That's why you have to 'fool around', as Kagome says."

"I see," Sango said in a breathy voice. The rise and fall of her chest was amazing. Let Sango think that I was only interested in the areas below her belt. It meant that she wouldn't be thinking about me watching her breasts when she moved. I wondered if she was wearing her chest bindings still. Her eyes fluttered from my face to my body. "Then I may touch you as… as I dreamed about?"

She had been dreaming about that? Not about me touching her, but the other way around? I love this woman!

I nodded and found Sango raising her lips up to mine. She'd told me before that she didn't like acting on dreams because they were never the same in real life. I didn't know what to do. Do I kiss her back? How did she want me to kiss her back? I was thinking far too much like Sango. So when she kissed me, I just let my mind shut up and my body take over. I met her peck for peck, and realized that she was thinking of the careless kisses that we so often shared. I was happy to oblige, and refrained from deepening the kiss in case she didn't want that. Sango was the explorer this time. Theoretically, I was just supposed to lean back and relax, so that's what I tried to do.

Slowly, her hands slipped underneath my robes. She leaned into me further, her lips still pressing against mine and then falling away, only to return a moment later. I opened my eyes in between one of these kisses, an intense look of concentration on her face. It was cute. As her hands pressed into my torso, her fingertips trailing along the muscles in my abdomen, I wondered if she was maybe trying to memorize the way my body felt.

I smiled at the sensation, and made a sound of approval before she kissed me again. This time, her bottom lip toyed with mine, trying to make my lips part. Rather than immediately give in, I resisted, and responded as slowly as I could. Before I could silently apologize for my teasing, she lifted my robes up over my head and threw them away. I hadn't been aware that this playing would involve in me being subjected to the cold. I figured it was no matter. Sango was a natural, and I wouldn't be cold for very long.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked her, looking at the way she was sitting. I motioned to my lap. "Wouldn't this be more comfortable for you, rather than having to crane your neck by sitting beside me?"

Sango looked at my lap and my open hand, wondering if there was something I was hiding. She slowly slid into my lap, her hands held in mine. They slipped down to her thighs as she toyed with the top of my pants. Sango leaned against my chest, kissing me. I groaned against her mouth when my belt loosened and her flesh touched mine. Sango pulled away, surprised by the sensation. Her thoughtful expression was full of happiness when she looked at me.

"That kind of tickles," she said, a little shyly. "It felt good, having you tell me I'm doing well." Her brown eyes filled with pride. "You did promise me that you'd moan my name. I'd like to hear you do that when I touch you in a manner that pleases you."

"Anything," I promised her. I leaned back my head when her fingers brushed the tip of my erection. Her tongue stroked my neck, and my fingertips loosed her own belt. I slipper my hands underneath her clothes, massaging the sensitive skin of her waist.

My open pants revealed myself to her. She looked down at my erection, and her red lips slowly began to frown. Her touch was gentle. "Why are men so oddly designed? It looks so uncomfortable. I mean, how can you ever _walk_ let alone fight with this between your legs?" She blushed, thinking she had offended me. "I mean, it's… it's… there's nothing _wrong_ with it. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it, as far as penises go. It's obviously fully functional…."

"Sango," I moaned. "Less talking please, and more kissing. Or change the subject?"

Licking her lips, her hips shifted in my lap, grinding against my legs in a suggestion of sexual movement. My breath entered my mouth in a hiss of pleasure, imagining that it was her moist core that surrounded my penis as she moved that way, instead of her strong hand. Sango decided on her course of action when she saw how much I enjoyed the physical nature of our predicament. Later, I would learn she had been torn between slapping me for my callous comment, and kissing me. She decided on her nameless third option; despite what Kagome says, I'm convinced Sango decided to change topics because of her competitive nature. Sango hates coming in second, and so she tried to use her words the way that I do, to salve my wounded pride and stroke my ego the same manner my coursing blood and moans pleased and satisfied hers.

"Houshi-sama, do you realize how many times I think back to that evening we spent together with longing?" Her hand tightened around me as she leaned down. Her long lashes fluttered against me cheeks as her talking lips touched mine. "I think about it, sometimes, Miroku, and it feels like… like I'm _burning_." The word came out in a shudder. "All those time we've been together since then, why haven't you flirted with me, touched me like that again? Wasn't I making it clear to you that I wanted you to make me feel like that again? Inuyasha probably could have smelt my arousal a mile away. He probably told you.…"

"Inuyasha never told me anything." I shook my head, my black hair mingling with hers. I felt her eyelashes lift from my cheeks in surprise, and I squirmed beneath her, reminding her of her previous actions. Sango resumed them, her touch lighter, listening to me. "I didn't know you felt this way. Among the reasons I've already told you, I also feared that you might start thinking I only wanted to spend time with you just so that I could touch you. After all, that's why you cut your hair."

With a grin, I leaned up to kiss her. I breathed in her scent deeply, and my nose nudged under her jaw. I kissed my way down to her breast bone, then seized her lips in a hungry kiss. Her hand clenched, and I again moaned. "Sango," I purred, listening to her try to catch her breath from my kiss. "Now that I know, I'm still not going to touch you. I want the next time I do it with you to be special. Besides, putting it off more will make it… all the more sweeter."

The hand not pumping up and down touched my chest, and I opened my eyes to stare into hers. It still amazed me how such a fierce woman could have such gentle eyes. "Miroku, it's always special when it's with you."

I all but melted under her. Under her exploring hand, my ears warmed by her frank honesty, I felt my body shudder with blistering pleasure. "I love you, Sango."

"I know," she said as her hand swiveled as she pressed down. I moaned her name loudly.

Her lips covered mine, absorbing the rest of the sound. "As good as it sounds, Miroku, we do have four other friends who would kill us if we wake them up." She kissed me again as she pumped with growing pride and expertise as her tongue gently probed mine, sending shocks of pleasure in the –dare I say it?- _innocent_ kisses.

This final sensation, increased by the way her mouth stifled my encouraging moans her touch created as she lifted me towards the peak, threw me over the edge. My hands clasped her shoulders and pulled her off of me. "Stop."

Obediently… no. Not 'obediently'. Sango's not like a puppy I can master by telling her to sit or stay by my command. Perhaps training a man might be like that, but not Sango. She stopped, and removed her hand from my still erect penis. "Did I hurt you?" she asked me with a rich flavor of concern in her voice.

I smiled, my blood still coursing through me, and I answered her with a kiss. I held her close, tightening the blankets around us, ignoring my throbbing genital. "I don't wish to spill my seed in front of you, Sango. You made me feel the same way I made you feel from my touch. Isn't that enough?"

"Well, that was my goal, but… doesn't the fact that you're still… ah, at attention, mean that you're unsatisfied?"

I chuckled gently, kissing her fore head and leaning her head on my shoulder. "No, I am quite satisfied, Sango. If you let me hold you like this until morning, I'll be even more satisfied. I love the idea of waking up with you." She nodded, and under the full moon, we were able to find release from our dreams and sleep without interruption.


	15. Hands

Dressing Wounds

AN: Thanks to a very generous comment from Mujitsu Yume -all the way from Chapter Three!!- regarding Miroku's hand, it suddenly occurred to me: 'wait… that isn't in this story yet….' That then got me stroking my chin and thinking about all the food my Grandma packed for me, so of course I had to do something about Miroku's cursed hand, and the two pieces of lemon pie in the fridge before my roommates eat it on me… not that they would… even though we all know that they would. I love them all to pieces.

So…. There may be some plot holes forming around Chapter 14/15, as I wrote half of chapter fourteen and then decided to write 15 right off the bat. I maintain there's nothing like writing angst to cheer me up before I have to write an exam tomorrow. (How that works, I don't know!) Now, all I need to do is think of a way to start this off…. throws on a fluffy CD!

(That was obviously written long ago…. Sorry for the mess up on the formatting. I think I've taken care of it. Phht. Like I even know what I'm doing with computers… It certainly wasn't my intent to mess things up and I checked to make sure chapter fourteen was okay, so I just assumed that this one was as well. Sorry again!) 

Chapter Fifteen: Hands

The body of the demon melted into dust as Kagome removed the piece of the Shikon jewel from its shattered body. Inuyasha watched in pride, though he was leaning on his sword just to remain upright. Kirara sat on my shoulder, and Shippo clutched my chest. It was rather endearing to think that he thought of me as being as safe as Kagome, and often I wondered what it was precisely he thought of Kagome and me. Did he see Kagome as a mother figure, and I as a big sister, or did he think of us both maternally?

However, at that moment the situation of a growing family among the six of us was far from being most important. There was one person missing from the triumphant battle scene, though the blood that splattered the abused trees and the mud on the ground could have painted the scene as being anything but triumphant.

Miroku.

Shippo seemed to sense my thought. His wide green eyes stared up at me. "Sango," he muttered, though there was a certain sense of wisdom in his voice. He had matured fast, yet he was still innocent, able to cling to Kagome under her covers without needing to fear her wrath; it was a combination that was frightening in its strangeness. "Sango, Miroku's hand…."

The mention of Miroku's hand scared me. The fight replayed in my head, and I tried to remember: did his hand get injured? There hadn't been any poison insects, there hadn't been any blood on his hand… no, there had been blood. My mouth became set in a hard mind as I viscously stomped down on those images. "Miroku's a grown man. He can take care of himself."

Inuyasha heard me and knew what I was thinking. He snorted, his gold eyes lucid despite his wounds and fatigue. "What's that supposed to mean? That I'm not a full man and need to be coddled by two women? I'm twice as old as Miroku is!" He struck a strong, proud pose. Then he nearly fell over from blood loss.

Kagome was there at his side to catch him and steady him enough for him to lean on the Tetsusaiga. She smiled at me from over his shoulder. "Go after him, Sango. I can take care of Inuyasha myself."

Our half demon friend once again tried to stand up on his own, to prove that he didn't need help from anyone. When he nearly fell over again, he said nothing and went back to using his weapon as a crutch. His white ears flattened slightly, as the battle euphoria wore off and he began to realize just how injured he was. I took this as a warning sign. If Inuyasha was starting to feel the sting of torn flesh, then I knew I, with lesser injuries, would feel my own injuries soon.

Kagome was already starting to unroll her sleeping mat so that Inuyasha had a place to rest. They didn't need me at camp, except to build us a camp, but I couldn't do that until my wounds were covered anyway. Demons were attracted to the smell of blood. I placed Shippo down on the ground and ruffled his hair, kneeling in front of him. "Shippo, I'll be back with Miroku in a second, okay? I'm going to need Kirara's senses, so with Inuyasha out of commission, it means you get to protect Kagome. Start gathering fire wood. I'll build a fire for us when I return. If anything happens, come and find me, and I'll rush back to camp. Okay?"

The demon child all but saluted, scampering off to start finding firewood. I watched him leave, wondering how many times we would be able to use that excuse. How long before he wizened to the fact that we were, in fact, always trying to protect him? I grabbed supplies from our first aid kit. True, that as a go-between he was excellent, so if anything did attack, Shippo _would_ find a way to contact us, but still… how long before his blood was being shed in battles as well?

Luckily, these saddening thoughts left me as Kirara began to pick out Miroku's scent from the trees. The trail zigzagged back and forth, worrying me. My muscles were starting to become aware of the torn edges that made my arms look as if I were a tiger when I found the first sign of blood. It stained the tip of a passing fern, still wet to the touch. As it hadn't harmed the plant, I knew that it couldn't belong to a demon. Most demons seemed to have a type of poison base, even Sesshomaru, whom one wouldn't think would use poison, as he is a dog demon. Miroku and I had often discussed the importance of this, and we had determined that the poisonous blood hosted by most demons had occurred in evolution as a means of self-protection so that other demons wouldn't feed off of them, which would in turn create the other demons to develop a means of counteracting this defense, and in turn the defender would increase the toxicity of poison….

"Kirara?" I asked, hoping that I was wrong. Not all demons were poisonous, after all. Kirara shook her head, and continued to sniff the ground. I cursed, and lowered the fern in my hand.

It was Miroku's blood.

We continued on our way. It had to be barely five minutes of hard walking before we found the source of blood, but to me it felt like a good solid day of walking. I worried about Miroku, and my body refused to walk. My free hand clutched my side, and despite the fall season, I could feel the sweat trapped in my hair. I labored for breath, and paused to catch it, taking stock of my wounds as they flared to life.

I had the claw marks in my arms. They were deep, but they didn't hurt much, and weren't large, so I wouldn't have to worry about rebuilding much muscle. Still, I knew that tomorrow I wouldn't be able to fight with my haraikotsu. My arms would be too sore, though my body was willing. A large bruise decorated the lower left half of my cheek. That was no problem. It was only a bruise. I had a gash up the back of one calf, and that was the real problem. I had to limp to walk, now that the energy from my fight had fled. The damn demon had thrown me, and I'd skidded to a stop in the bush. I'd cut my leg on nothing more than a tree branch. It would be a bitch to clean. A bruised rib made breathing a bit difficult, but a good night's sleep and that would feel better.

It was in this state that I found Miroku. He had disappeared part of the way during our fight, and I'm sure that this was the reason why his shoulders drooped with uncertain weight. He had few wounds, and those that his body carried probably only bled so much because of the way he had run from battle… and run so far. What truly disturbed me was the slick blood on his right hand, and his expression. It was… not even 'empty' could describe it. Then his eyes slid up from his bloody hand to see Kirara and it turned to worry. His gaze moved up further to look at me and it became one of horror.

I moved closer and he shook his head. The fingers of his right hand twitched slightly. That was why he had run so far. It was because the kazaana had been sliced. I took a deep breath, ignoring the sting of pain in my ribs and I stubbornly moved to sit in front of him. Kirara sat before us.

Reaching out to him, I brushed his bangs away from my face, hearing him sigh from pleasure at my touch. My fingers brushed the two earrings in one ear, hearing them jingle in a familiar way as my hand moved down to his shoulder. I kissed his forehead, practically oblivious to Kirara's prideful mew at my gesture. She was glad that I had him. I was glad that I had him too.

His eyes landed on my bruised jaw down to the bloody gashes in my arms. His good hand reached out, and stopped at the last second, feeling the warmth of my blood instead of the torn muscle. I saw the sadness well up in his eyes, underneath the brows that were usually un-creased from a happy, perverted smile when I was around him. He looked so pathetic when he frowned. I wanted to clasp him in my arms and not let him go until he was flirting with me again. I wish that my kiss could have cured him.

My finger covered his lips to keep him from apologizing, and I gave him a wavering smile to let him know that our friends were all okay. There was a large claw mark in his left shoulder, but it was his hand that concerned me. Miroku wasn't a coward. The only reason why he ever would have left us in battle was if his hand was going to endanger us. Then he would have run, and never would have stopped running. The last thing Miroku would ever want was to take us with him when that kazaana imploded. Sadly, the blood coating his right hand only seemed to testify to the fact that his hand was… acting up again, for lack of a better phrase.

The way his dark eyes looked up at me told me to run, relentless telling me to leave. I couldn't. I didn't want to leave him.

Knowing that he would never simply let me reach out and hold his cursed hand, I leaned over him, my knees soaking up the dampness in the earth from the rainfall the day before, and I kissed him. I kissed him the way that I secretly enjoyed how he kissed me; softly at first, to ease away any concerns and to work my way under his defenses, and then with escalating passion. Or I would have done so. All I needed was to distract him enough so that I could take his hand, and at least try to help him. No, I didn't know what I was doing, and it was probably very stupid, but I wanted to show him that I was there for him.

I reached out to slip my hand into his. The moment I touched the beads that circled his wrist, he pulled away from me, his hand clenching to keep my fingers away from the hole in the center of his palm. Perhaps what bothered me most about this was the pain that stared at me from beneath the glossed look in his violet-flecked eyes. I had betrayed his trust in me with a kiss.

I felt like shit. No, I'd felt like that when I came in and saw his face. Now I just felt worse. How could I have betrayed his trust in me in such a manner? I'd used his feelings for me to try and do something he didn't want me to do, the same way part of me had always feared he would do to me.

This needed mending, and mending fast. I licked my dry lips, and got a little bit more comfortable, trying to shift my weight from my injured leg. I wanted to start off with his name, so part of me was aching to say it, but that was too personal. If this really was it… what would I do? I couldn't leave Miroku to die on his own, but the blast would kill me as well, and then Kohaku would be all alone. The story of my life, torn between the two men left in the world that I would do anything for.

Attempting not to shed the shaking tears that wanted to break loose and cling to him, to tell him that I loved him, my mind won out, and the tears retreated, for the time being. My hand that was still caressing his cheek fell down to the knot of his robes, and I began undressing him. All I did was take off the dark violet outer robe, and he was obedient enough to take off the second layer. I pulled the first aid kit closer, and opened it. I pulled out the sterilizer, and gave him the tiniest of smiles when I saw him wince prematurely. Before I could open up the bottles, his left hand caught mine, and took the peroxide from me, putting it back away.

"You shouldn't be here," he said softly. His good hand found mine again, and clung to it.

"Why not?" I demanded, just as gently. I moved in a little closer to his body. I didn't want to be… over bearing, or appear aggressive, it's just that so many times we've been together and he's held me that now I longed to feel his body flush against mine, to be as close to him as I could…. "Houshi-sama, please, tell me what's going on. Tell me what to do, so that I can help."

His supple mouth curved into a painful smile. The pain that I had caused him receded to the back of his eyes. He looked at me then in a way that I always feared, as if I were some little child that didn't understand anything, yet he loved. I knew his hand was acting up, I knew what it meant, so what if I didn't know how to help? That didn't mean that I had to…

Miroku stroked my hair, pushing it behind my ear, his fingertips grazing my neck and startling me out of my rising anger. He muttered my name in a sigh, and at that moment, I hated him for it. I'd heard my name said that way before. My voice grew from my anger.

"Houshi-sama, don't you dare start thinking that way! You tell me what's wrong, and you tell me right now! Did the demon cut your hand? Why….."

His good hand gestured to his shoulder. "The monster didn't cut my hand." I felt silly as I realized the blood on his hand was from his holding his shoulder wound as he ran. Before I could ask why he had run in the first place, his right hand opened again and he stared at it hatefully. "I started to feel my hand expand. I needed to get it under control, and if I couldn't I didn't want any of you caught up in the ensuing blast. I'm twenty-one now… the next time the void starts to contract, I might not be able to control it."

Beads of sweat trickled down from his hairline. He'd exerted himself not from running, I then understood, but from trying to keep his body from being destroyed. I licked my lips nervously. "Did you manage to get it under control?"

Smiling lazily, he answered. "No. It's still trying to move. I'm afraid that I have a very beautiful distraction in front of me." I blushed at his compliment, and his smile grew slightly. I couldn't understand the pain he must have been going through, feeling an emptiness inside of him trying to expand. My breath caught in my throat as he continued. "I haven't told you that lately. I guess I wanted to know whether or not you wanted to spend time with me because of how I spoke to you, or if it was because you liked me for me. You weren't the only one who needed to explore these feelings a little more, Sango. But you are beautiful."

My open lips made my breathing silent, the only sign of it the gentle rise and fall of my chest, which Miroku didn't even notice. I shook my head slowly. "Thank you, but if you're trying to get me to leave so that you can try and control your hand again, it isn't going to work. I'm not a distraction, Miroku. I'm Sango. If I left, how do you know that you wouldn't just give up and let your hand consume you once I was out of distance?"

This time my sadness didn't try to rage and burn itself free. I felt the tears simply dripping down my cheeks, not a heartbeat or a catch of the breath to indicate that I had started to cry, only a sudden wetness of my cheeks. I swallowed, and found it difficult, like something was blocking the way. I'd seen the guilt in his eyes when he looked at me after I spoke. Maybe giving up wasn't a solid plan for Miroku, but it was a possibility.

Instead of starting to reprimand him, I remembered when I had first learned about Miroku's wind tunnel, and some of the affects that it had. "I still remember the last time this happened. You were ready to do this then, too. I thought you were weak and pathetic, at first, running off to die like that, until Kagome and Inuyasha explained to me what it meant. I swear to you, Miroku, that if you run off like this again, if you plan to send me away just so that you can… _give up_, I will only be able to remember you as being weak and pathetic." I took his shoulders gently, careful of the wound, but when I knew my grip wasn't touching any wounds, that grip tightened, so that no force could take him from me.

"I'm not allowed to go and die with Kohaku, right? So you're not allowed letting this wind-tunnel beat you! You're stronger than that, houshi… Miroku, you're stronger than that!"

He brushed the tears from my cheeks, staring at them. "I made you cry," he said out loud in a hollow voice.

I didn't know what to say to that. I only nodded. I'd do anything to keep him with me, but I knew that I couldn't really do that. Miroku needed to be able to go off and make his own decisions. I couldn't make them for him. I rubbed my cheek against his hand, trying to memorize the way his skin felt against mine, cursing the barricades in my body that kept me from telling him the real reason why he couldn't leave me. I think the only thing that kept Miroku from seeing the way I felt about him in my eyes, the same way I saw his love lighten his eyes whenever he smiled at me, was the tears that clouded my vision and the pain that had wrapped around his mind.

"Why?" My voice was just as hollow as his. "Inuyasha and Kagome tried to get me to understand, but I couldn't. I could understand you were going to die, and that the hole in your hand would kill you, but why can't you just keep fighting it?"

"I'm trying…."

"Try harder!" I yelled at him. His head touched the tree as he leaned back, as if the strength of my voice was a physical push away from me. I knew that I didn't have a right to be mad, but I was mad. I was furious that he would even think of leaving me when I'd finally realized how much I cared for him. It was one of my greatest fears, loving Miroku and having him dying at the same instance, as if the energy I felt when I was around him had been stolen from his body and mind, maybe even his very soul. I hated him for making me face my fears.

So why the hell couldn't I just tell him that I loved him?

His good hand wrapped around me, consoling me because I didn't understand. I hated him for that too, for not telling me why. I hated myself when I leaned on his good shoulder, the warm skin turning wet from my quickly shedding tears, hearing myself beg for him to tell me, to explain why he had this problem, and I couldn't fix it. I didn't like begging. His hand brushed my hair, and I stared at the cursed limb laying beside me, and I hated Naraku. I hated everything and everyone at that instance that I looked at his bloody glove, and in that hatred I lost myself, barely aware that I was sobbing on his shoulder, crying like I never had before, all the pain since my family had died being pulled out of me.

"You always said you wanted a girl who knew everything about you, but I don't! I don't know it all, Miroku! And I can't know it all, until you _tell_ me!"

He held me. Miroku rubbed my back and held me, letting me cry. When I began to settle down again, he leaned back against the tree, and lifted my head from his good shoulder. He handed me the bottle of peroxide, and I smiled, understanding. If he was going to allow me to tend to his wounds, then he was going to try fighting, and he was planning on winning; if he was planning on dying, then what would be the point of cleaning his wounds when his body would be buried within the day of his death?

Sniffling, I scratched my nose, the air around us filled with his scent. I began to swab gently at his wound. His left hand held his right wrist, and he began to talk. "When the kazaana was passed on to my body, I knew that I either had to kill Naraku or it would kill me. It was a terrible shock, to know exactly how and when you're going to die. Perhaps most people would have seen the need for revenge and decided exactly then and there that they wanted to have a son as soon as possible, so that my family could be avenged, but coming to that decision took me a long time. I left Mushin when I was almost thirteen. I wandered a year without any sign of Naraku, and that's when I decided that I needed to ensure I had an heir, that way should I fail –as it appeared I would- I would have a son to continue my search. My innocent flirtation with women my own age turned into what you eventually came to hit me for.

"Each year, the kazaana would expand a little bit more. I fought it as hard as I could. Each year, it got just a little bit harder not to give up and let the kazaana win. Each year, it took more energy to keep fighting it, to keep on telling it to stay dormant, and to hope that by the same time next year I'd have found Naraku, and mounted his head on a pike. "

For a long time, the only thing that kept me hanging on was revenge. Even the idea of having a son, it was revenge for me, the success I felt doomed not to find. Then I met Kagome and Inuyasha, and stayed with them. I grew to like them; they're great friends. I knew that I wouldn't be able to control the kazaana forever, and I knew that when it went, when I became so weak I couldn't fight it anymore, that I had to be like my father, and I had to go away. I had to go far away, so that I couldn't take anybody else with me. I didn't give up just out of the blue like that, Sango, so you must not think that I was being weak or pathetic. Please, think of me as being perverted or selfish, but don't think of me as being weak and pathetic.

"Just because I run away doesn't mean that I'm going to suddenly give up. I just need space, so that if I lose, I know that my friends, the people I care about and love, will still be out there."

I put away the peroxide and I took out the gauze. I started wrapping his wounds, listening to his story, waiting for the blow that I knew every story held. My eyelashes lowered. "You're not selfish, Miroku. And I only thought of you for being pathetic for one second. Maybe even half a second. Maybe even less than that. You've fought a part of yourself that I can only imagine, and you've fought it for most of your life. I respect you for that….."

He was surprised when he looked at me, and then his eyes relaxed and he smiled, the light inside of him that drew me to him brightening in the action. "You respect me, just not enough to keep from hitting me when I grope you."

"Precisely. So, Miroku, when you fight this thing, what exactly are you fighting? I mean, it's still expanding, right, so what exactly do you fight when it expands?"

Miroku shook his head. "I wish I knew. Maybe that would make fighting a bit easier. It's true, the kazaana still does expand even if I use every ounce of my strength to contain it. As long as I keep on fighting it inside my body, telling it not to move any further, than it will move slower. All I know is if I relax when it tries to expand… it burns. Not figuratively, literally. It feels like it's pulling me apart piece by piece."

Unable to explain further, he sighed. His shoulders relaxed, and he looked at me sadly. "The kazaana, as far as Mushin and I have been able to determine from tests when I was a child, acts like poison. It follows the path of the blood stream, and it kills me once it reaches here." He took my hand and laid it over his heart. His flesh was warm against mine, and he felt so sturdy that it was hard to believe something the size of his palm could bring him down. I curled my fingers against his skin, my knuckles on his chest and my fingers wrapping around his bloody ones. I wondered if he knew he'd grabbed my right hand with his. He moved my hand underneath his right breastbone.

"This is where it is now. The more open the hole in my hand is, the faster it moves, the more power the kazaana has and the less power I have to control it." He smiled weakly. "I don't just mean internally. By the time I am ready to die, the wind tunnel will be so strong and fast that not even Naraku's insects will be able to bother me."

Turning to me, his brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles gently before he released my hand. My face was red from the kiss. "I'm going to die, Sango. Not today. It's slowing down, but I probably won't be able to use the kazaana for another day or two, just to be on the safe side. But I will die. Everyone dies. When I do, I'm going to have to find a way to give up the desire for revenge that drove me this far, otherwise I won't be able to come back as a human, carrying such negative emotions. Minus that, I'm ready for death. Unfortunately, I love you, and so you're going to have to be ready for my death as well. When the time comes, I have to be alone. I can't take you with me, Sango."

His hands touched me as I bound his wounds, and I couldn't look up to see his face. His fingers tips brushed my hair, my nose, my cheeks, down the sides of my body , and then fell away to lay beside his body. "You're going to have a long time to live after this. You're going to go and have lots of children, with somebody who loves you even more than I do, and you're going to love back just as much in return, and you'll be the best demon slayer in history. I'm just happy knowing that you were willing to give me what I wanted most in the world, even though I had nothing but a few years to give you."

I looked down at the kazaana. "Is this why you haven't tried to take me up on my agreement? Because of the kazaana?"

"And also because I wanted to make an honest woman out of you. I don't want to leave you alone with a son, Sango. I want to see a ring on your finger and know that… just to make us a _real_ family."

When I looked up at him, I found such a sincere expression of regret on his face that my body felt like ice. How could anyone look that sad without crying? I just looked at him, tying a knot in the gauze, no longer touching him. I tried to speak, and needed to take another breath. How could Miroku think that he had given me nothing? He gave me smiles, and laughter, and he tried to help me with Kohaku, and he wanted to give me a family again. "You gave me everything," I admitted. I shook my head, feeling my tears of happiness spray into the distance. "Miroku, you gave me everything you had. I'm the one who can't give you anything. I thought it would make you happy, agreeing to have your children, and for a moment I thought I made you as happy as you make me everyday." I sniffled, frustrated that I was crying in front of him again. "You stupid pervert, don't you get it? Don't you understand? You don't have to give me a ring, or a house, or anything else because you gave me _yourself_!"

"I want to though. I want to give you everything. I wish I had been born as Buddha himself to give you perfect life after perfect life…" "

But I don't want a perfect life," I shouted, "I just want _you_!"

We stared at each other, both shocked that I had said that. My bottom lip was shaking, and my heart was racing wildly. My cuts were stabbing pain where my flesh had been torn, but they had been long forgotten, and were still nothing compared to the other emotions still floating in my heart. My anger melted with worry, and that with a fear of losing him, the bitterness of knowing I couldn't change it if his time came, and the chill of knowing what I had just said.

I needed to be adult about the situation, I needed to say something! The ball of negative emotions in my heard vanished in the blink of my crying eyes. They had no place, not right now, and I knew that I could never be angry at his cursed right hand.

"You smile at me, and I'm happy. You take my hand, or put your arm around my shoulder, and I'm happy, and warm. You kiss me and I relax. We talk and I slowly start to open up to you. Sometimes I find myself dreaming about walking up to you every morning, and I know that that would also make me happy. You flirt with me, keep me off balance, and I'm glad that I found someone who challenges me. Being with you makes me happy, Miroku. I, in turn, want to give you that happiness back…."

"Then you agreed to bear my children because you knew it would make me happy?" he asked suspiciously.

"No. I agreed to bear your children because I know that one day, unless we find Naraku and kick his ass soon, that you're not going to be with me. I respect your decision not to want to try and create a child together because you don't want to leave me a widow, but please… leave me a widow! Leave me some… someone to remember you by."

I looked away, my breathing back to normal, and I dried my cheeks, wincing at the bruise. My fists lay against my knees as I thought carefully about what to say next. I couldn't tell him that I loved him, because I knew that if he left me and he knew that I loved him so much it hurt, that he'd hate his hand, and through it hate Naraku, and then his soul would never find rest. I had to hide the truth from him to help him.

"Miroku, I… I admire it when you think like that, trying to be so honorable, while at the same time that you're thinking of marrying me, you're reaching out to grope me. You're complicated, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Then the next moment, I think of… Miroku, I wasn't even thinking of a family when I agreed to bear your child, I just wanted to make you happy… and because… All my life I thought that I would wait until after my body slowed down before I took a husband and settled down, and that I'd do my family honor by waiting until I married to... be with a man in that way. Then I met you, and learned that you love me, and you became my closest male friend. That got me thinking: which is more dishonorable, not remaining a virgin until my wedding night, or letting the man whom I've wanted more than anyone else leave before I gave him the chance to be my first? I mean, you gave me you, so…."

He leaned down and kissed my lips in a quick peck, quieting my rambling. "I understand, Sango." He stared off into the distance as he thought. "Then… whatever will happen, will happen. Agreed? That way, one night if we find ourselves reaching that point, we can cross it, without feeling any regrets. And should we not have that opportunity, than I will die even a more happier man, knowing that had we the opportunity, I would have been the first man with whom you'd ever spent the night."

I nodded, and he kissed me again. I breathed in deeply, relishing the warmth from his body that let me know he was okay, and that he'd make it through this round against his kazaana. Still, I looked at him sternly, thinking he was too easily placated. I stubbornly curled up next to him. "Now, back to you and your wind tunnel…."

"Don't worry," he smiled. Ah, that gorgeous smile of his! I was too easily won over by that smile. "I have something else to fight against it with. I have hope, I have hope that you're going to tell me that you love me one day, and I want to hear that. So I have to keep fighting it harder than ever now, because I want to keep on making you happy."

"Miroku…." I buried my head in my chest and wrapped my arms around him. I wish I could tell him everything, but I couldn't, not when my love might ensnare him from the afterlife that, as a monk, he should be allowed to receive. Shyly, I asked, "Does it scare you? Dying?"

He laughed shortly, a painful sound. "Isn't everybody a little afraid of death? I'm afraid of what it will feel like, of all the life I might accidentally take with me, most of all that of my friends." His arms wrapped around me, and I held him tighter. "I'm terrified of it. What if I'm not allowed to come back, or I'm cursed in my next life because of my desire for revenge? Then I'll never get to see any of you again. Am I scared of death? Only in that I might cause other people to die with me. I'm scared most in what I'll miss. I'll miss seeing the Shikon jewel being completed, watching Shippo grow up at least a little bit more, miss the people I love and everything about them… even the way that Kagome screams 'sit' and Inuyasha eats dirt. I'll miss the sun, and the smell of damp earth, and holding you like this…."

I felt the tears I'd seen unshed from earlier fall into my hair. I moved to lift my head, but a gentle word from Miroku kept me there. "Please." That was all he said; all he needed to say. I removed my hands from around him only a second, long enough for me to undo my shirt for him, pushing it to my waist, and then I returned to hugging him. I held him, telling him that everything would be alright silently, wishing I had something more to tell him, and he began to clean my own wounds for me. But after learning what I had about Miroku, suddenly mine didn't feel so deep.


	16. Snowstorm

Dressing Wounds

AN: So, after reading last chapter, I'm sure you've all said to yourself: I bet this fic could use some comedy. Comedy chapter time! Because, frankly, I need practice at comedy, and we all need a break from the tearjerkers and the fluff! So, hip hip hoorah for comedy!

Unfortunately, I can't think of anything funny, so it looks like you're going to have to deal with a rather introverted chapter instead.

Thank you for all the reviews! Upon feeling depressed, reread how wonderful they were, and decided that I should post again. Which means at this rate, I'm going to be done the story before you know it, and then I'm going to work double-fast to try and come up with the next story!

So, a couple of things from the last chapter:

Oy, I'm not going to make Miroku die. I'm the PoF. And how can I do that to my favorite male character? I mean… it would be like me killing my boyfriend. (On paper, obviously.) I can't do that to Miroku and Sango. (Not yet, anyway!)

The last chapter made me want to cry when I wrote it, so I'm glad other people felt the same way. I will be offering free Kleenexes for those who need it at other, fluffier parts of the fic. Just ignore the purple teddy bears on them. shrugs And it's chapters like that that prove I do listen to your suggestions. (Actually, for anyone who doesn't know, I keep many of them. I shudder to think of diving into my 'review' folder in my account in case the reviews fly everywhere and drown me in dot matrix.)

And now that we had Sango give herself some time to think, it's time the male does the same. nods

I hope you enjoy.

(And for all those who want to know, chapter 16 will be a lemon… again. My those two are certainly starting to go at it like rabbits! Hopefully it will be lemony but fluffy and innocent all at the same time so that nobody loses their ability to look at Sango and Miroku in the same way they did before. )

Chapter Sixteen: Snowstorm

Once again, Kagome had gone home to take a test. Rather than have all of us head back to Kaede's and wait for her, we decided to split up. We split up all the supplies, and Sango and I headed onwards to the next village, one that was on the coast, which meant we has a long walk ahead of us in the snow. Inuyasha laughed at the road that we had to walk, and said that by the time we reached the other side, he'd be there waiting for us.

Alone except for Shippo and Kirara, it was nice, and rather family like. Without the fear of Inuyasha picking on Shippo, the little fox demon was talkative to everyone, now that he didn't have to worry about being smacked for a comment that offended Inuyasha. Talking about our hanyou companion like that feels a little odd. Inuyasha really isn't that aggressive, but he does pick on Shippo a fair bit. Lately, they haven't been arguing that much. I think it's because of Kagome and her growing influence over him.

At first the going was easy, but two days up the mountain side it began to get harder. The wind blew into our faces, rushing down the side of the hills, and the snow was unforgiving. The air bit at the skin we didn't cover up. For safety sake, Kirara transformed, using her massive size and weight to barrel through the drifts of snow so that the three of us could follow. Shippo was carried by Sango, bundled up between her slaying uniform and her yukata, and their shared body heat kept them warm. I always stood in front of Shippo and Sango, blocking the wind that Kirara didn't. I covered most of my face with my long sleeves, and sheltered her from that wind because she didn't have enough spare cloth to cover her face in the same way, nor would her mask have helped, as it was metal.

When we came upon a cave, it was unanimous to stop, and wait for the worst of the storm to pass. We had plenty of food, if our numb hands could cook it, and the weather didn't bother Kirara much, so she could always hunt for us. The cave was cold, but not damp, so we wouldn't die of hypothermia. The moment we were in the cave, I placed my hands around Sango's, trying to warm them for her. Her teeth were chattering, and I knew she was slightly irked that I didn't seem to mind the cold at all.

"Fire," she chattered, clenching her jaw to be able to speak properly.

Shippo blinked his bright green eyes, staring up at Sango from over the edge of her breasts. His tail flickered, and I wondered how Kagome could carry him like that without being tickled by his tail all the time. "Sango, can we build a fire without wood? Can we find wood in a cave?"

It took her a moment to register this. "SHIT!" She kicked a rock, pissed off, and her hands fell from mine. "Why couldn't we have waited until the summer to cross to the seaside?"

I scratched my head. "Would we have gotten to see you and Kagome bathing nude on the beach?" She glared at me for even bother to asking. I smiled and shrugged. "Well then, it makes no difference to me." When her only response was the sound of my molars clacking together, I arched an eyebrow. "You really are cold, aren't you?"

"Aren't you?" she retorted, a little rudely. Kirara sat down and we joined her, warming ourselves up by snuggling against her fur. Her voice was muffled by her fur, but I was able to make out an apology. Clutching Shippo tightly to her body, listening to him talk to Kirara about her shedding some fur so he could burn it and start a fire, I wondered how she could be so irate. That was more than easy to explain, for I was in the same trap. We were hungry, freezing cold, and dirty. Snow and bathing don't mix very well.

Sango watched me as I got back up and began to pull out blankets from the large knapsack I had been carrying. "How can you stand the cold like this?" she asked him as I set them by her, so that we could use them once the snow had finished melting from our clothes and hair.

I smiled at her, and answered her when I realized that Shippo refused to do anything but listen intently. I took her hand and breathed on her fingertips, then rubbed her fingers between my hands to get the feeling back in them. To anyone else, it might have appeared as if that was all I was trying to do, but to Sango, it was the way I touched her hands that told her what I really wanted was to try and romance her again. Since we had to watch Shippo, we hadn't really been able to be alone. Nor had we been able to be alone since we'd been walking up the side of a goddamn mountain.

Pardon me for being grumpy when my robes are soaked with snow, the wind is howling at the entrance to the cave, it's dark, and Buddha knows what else and all I wanted was to bathe and be dry and warm! We might be supposed to put up with any type of weather for being a demon slayer and a traveling monk, but three days of sleeping outside and of cold and snow was more than enough for me! Had we been set up here to actually find and slay a demon, it would have been a very fine pulp by the time I was done with it!

Holding her cold hand, I leaned down to whisper in my ear, so that Shippo couldn't hear. Grabbing her… sculpted derriere had never been deterred by Shippo's presence, but this was another matter entirely, and I would have given my eyeteeth not to have to admit that I was slightly nervous about speaking of such matters in front of children. Not that that has ever really stopped me before, it's merely a logical reaction between wanting to make the woman I love run into my arms and warm my body with kisses, and knowing that Shippo would probably tell Inuyasha and Kagome later. I certainly wouldn't care if they knew I was kissing Sango, I simply worry that perhaps Sango might care if they knew she was kissing me. Sango and public displays of affection when I am the object of that affection, doesn't bode very well.

Shivers ran up her spine as my lips brushed her ear, my breath floating in a heated mist over her skin. "I thought about what I will do with you the next time that we are alone, and that kept me warm."

Sango licked her lips and then suddenly stood up, passing Shippo to me. "Here. I think I'm going to go explore the cave a bit, make sure that we're the only occupants and maybe see if I can find a bit of dried wood. Do you think you could give me some light with the fox fire of yours?"

Shippo only had to flick a finger and a ball of blue fire appeared by Sango's shoulder to light her way. We waited until the demon slayer was out of ear shot, and then I grabbed the blankets I'd left out and stood up, setting Shippo on Kirara's back. I began undoing my robes, trying to move quickly. "Okay, Shippo, I don't know about you, but I am fucking freezing cold. My clothes can dry on their own. Are you in?"

The little boy shook his head, and grinned. I thought he'd been spending a bit too much time with me, judging by his grin. I was rather proud to imagine that he was seeing me as a figure to emulate. "I was warm the whole way up the mountain."

I leaned down and poked his belly, done wrapping one blanket around my waist, the other a shawl around my bare shoulders. "Of course you were warm, you little leech," I teased, starting to tickle him. "You were stealing all the warmth _Sango's_ body was struggling to create!" He giggled and squirmed, and fell off Kirara. The fall left him uninjured, and he continued to giggle and squirm.

"Miroku!" he laughed, his little fox legs kicking wildly. "Miroku, if you don't stop I think I'm going to pee!"

I fell back on Kirara, laughing, and Shippo leapt up to climb underneath the blanket around my shoulders. Absentmindedly, I leaned back into Kirara, who didn't seem to mind at all. I stroked his orange hair. My smile softened, wishing for a second that this was the son I had always longed for. Unable to help myself, I kissed his forehead gently. "Go on and rest now, Shippo. Sango will be back soon, and then we can make ourselves some supper."

His arms wrapped around my neck, and I found that in the dark cave, he was actually very warm, a bit like having a living scarf wrapped around me. He yawned, his breath leaving a trail of cold as it came and went. "Miroku, when will Inuyasha and Kagome be back?"

"I don't know," I replied with honesty. "It will take them a few days to reach the well, because even Inuyasha needs to rest, and then three days for Kagome to take her tests and spend time with her family, and then they'll come back up this way for us to meet them." I heard him give a whine, and I knew that he wanted our friends to return as much as I did. I shushed him gently, his hair feeling like fur underneath my fingertips. "Go to sleep, Shippo. Rest now, while were safe and warm and have the chance to rest. Kagome and Inuyasha will be back soon, and until then you have Sango, Kirara and I. You're as safe with us as you are with Kagome."

He nodded. His nose was cold. "I know. I just worry about Kagome going off with Inuyasha. What do they do if I'm not there?"

Was I supposed to answer? I decided he was from the uncomfortable silence that followed his question. "Kagome is a very responsible girl, and we both know that she cares for Inuyasha very much. When you find someone that you love like that, there are things that you want to do with them, like be alone with them, or just talk, because simply spending time with that person is important to you."

"But I love Kagome!" Shippo protested. "She tells me that she loves me all the time, so how come Kagome doesn't want to spend time with me like that?"

"Because, Shippo, it's a different kind of love. It doesn't mean that it's any more or any less than what she feels for her family back home, or what she feels for Inuyasha, it's just that she loves you differently. Does that make any sense to you?"

He shook his head, but his breathing was soft. He was starting to fall asleep. "Not really. All I know is that she likes being alone with Inuyasha so that she can kiss him and cuddle with him and stuff." Shippo scratched his cold nose. "I tried kissing Kirara once. It didn't seem like something people would actually look forward to do again."

I tried not to laugh. I didn't know who I felt worse for: Shippo or Kirara. I reached out and petted Kirara's ears, the same way that Inuyasha always bitched about when Kagome did that to him. Kirara mewed and moved her head closer to my waist, her two long tails wrapping around my legs like a third blanket. I smiled at her in silent thanks. "You know what Shippo, the first time that I kissed a woman, I didn't like it much either. She tasted funny, and she barely responded, and her lips were all slimy and stuff. But one of my friends really liked her. He even ended up being engaged to her. I asked him about her kisses, and he said that he had never found any of the problems with her that I did. So maybe, when you really care for somebody, you don't even notice that stuff about them. You don't care about the little things, you just love them completely, because of everything good in them. Or maybe there's just one person that you're made for, and perfect for in every way, so the things like the way someone kisses you doesn't matter because they're perfect for you…."

I trailed off when I realized he'd already closed his eyes. The thought dropped from the cavern, but not from my mind. I thought of love, and I thought of particularly Sango, and for once in the past few days, I didn't think about the steps I would take to ensure that she was more willing to spend the night with me once we defeated Naraku, I merely thought about Sango, and about the children why might have.

The fox cub kicked in my arms, and I relaxed my grip a little bit so that he could move around as he saw fit. Many people made comments about the relationship between Kagome and Shippo, and I wondered why nobody ever made comments about me and Shippo. They all knew that I wanted a child, and then, one of my companions turns out to be the equivalent to, say, an eight year old boy, in demon form. I don't care if he was a demon, a hanyou, a human or a reincarnation of Buddha, the point is that he's a small, young man that I have the opportunity to raise and protect.

How many people know that next to Sango, Shippo is probably the next important person to me in our little group of travelers, not just because of who he is, but because of what he represents? The fact that no one has ever made a comment of me thinking of Shippo of the son I had been trying to create makes me wonder… do I show that desire to protect Shippo well enough? Is it my so-called perversion, the groping that I have never been afraid to do while he was around that perhaps makes it unclear that I have an interest in the morals he chooses in life?

In short, do people not see that I care for the little boy in my arms because there's a chance that I might very well be a bad father?

The kazaana has been in my hand, no… been a part of my life forever. I've grown accustomed to the fears that it creates in my mind, my heart. But since Sango agreed to bear my children, I've had other fears, regarding it, and the promise she made to me. I fear missing her, I fear that it will take me away before I've had a chance to show her just how much she means to me. And I worry that if… _when_ we win, and we have children, that I might not be a good father.

Ah, yes, love. That itself has created many questions in my heart. I love Sango. For a long time, I tried to keep her away from me by touching her even though I knew she hated it, but I couldn't stop myself from feeling that way. So I decided to be true to my feelings. I love Sango, and I just want her to know that, to know that since the death of her family and the abduction of her little brother, that there's someone who cares for her. Or, should I die, someone who cared. Isn't keeping my emotions to myself and letting her go on thinking that the only person left to love her doesn't even remember her name more than a little bit selfish? I don't care if she doesn't love me back.

Yes, I know that sounds selfish, but I couldn't bear the thought of her loving me, and me leaving her. I don't want to leave her. If Sango did love me back… that would be amazing, and a dream come true. Even if she only wanted to bear my child because she thought that my seed might help create a strong, intelligent child, I would be happy, and touched that she would do it because she knew it would make me happy. The day that we fought and cried about the kazaana, and the knowledge that she wanted me to be her first….

I can't hurt her by making her love me and then leaving her. I only want to let her know that there is someone here who loves her. Should we survive this battle with Naraku, then I want Sango to be in a position so that she can love me. I want to raise my children in an environment that is a loving place… love, you see, is something that means a lot to me, perhaps more than I've ever let on.

All of these thoughts were buzzing around in my head as I rubbed Shippo's head, listening to him sleep. I closed my own eyes and leaned back against Kirara, thankful for her warmth, and the way that she had accepted me. My thoughts merely led me back to my concern from earlier: would I make a good father?

Footsteps echoed in the hollow of the cave, and I opened my eyes to see Sango bending over us, an odd look on her face. I smiled up at her, tired from the exhaustion of trying to keep warm and move despite that cold wind. Sango's nose was rabbit pink, as were her cheeks. She kept sniffling in a cute manner, her pink nose wrinkling and I wanted to hold her and keep her body warm the way she had sheltered Shippo. The blue fox light that still hovered around her made her pink cheeks look purple.

"You two look cute like that," she whispered. I didn't need to tell her that Shippo was fast asleep, something that was probably more a result of the bleak weather than from actual exhaustion. She held a bit of firewood, and set it down by our belongings, so that she could kneel down and brush Kirara's soft fur. "I can't believe she's letting you use her as a bed… did you steal my blanket too?"

"Perhaps," I grinned, looking like the lecher she used to so often call me. "You could always join me under our blankets."

Much to my surprise, she looked at me, and at the blankets, and said she might have to take me up on my offer. She kissed Kirara's head. "It's hard to imagine that at once upon a time, Kirara was asking me permission to rip off your hand if you touched me again."

I chuckled gently, until I realized that she was, in fact, being serious. I blinked. "Then….."

She nodded at my unspoken question. "It's odd, but the sounds Kirara makes always sounded like real speech to me. Since she saw me kiss you, she's been warming up a bit more to you because she says that if you're my friend, then you must be a decent person. Maybe, if you're lucky enough, she'll start talking to you the way she does to me." Sango smiled at me shyly, and then her gaze moved down to the little demon curled around my neck. "Did he just fall asleep? I guess I can't wake him up then. The people from the village must have anticipated that some people would actually be stupid enough to try and cross this passage in the winter time. There's plenty of fire wood, and a bit of preserved food, some barrels of water harvested from the stalactites overhead, and we can boil the water to purify them, and best of all, there's a hot spring. It appears that some of these mountains are volcanic."

"Really? I suggest that tomorrow, whatever the storm is like, we continue on our way then. I really don't like the idea of staying buried in a volcanic cave while a snowstorm is going on. There's too many chances that something might go wrong: getting snowed in, earthquakes… if they have a cave like this halfway up the side of the mountain, it would only make sense that they would have one at the top and on the other side. I suggest we stop at the top of the mountain, that way we won't be caught in the middle of a landslide should our good luck run out and the gods of these mountains decide to shake the earth."

Sango considered this. "Agreed, but if there isn't a cave at the top, should we come back down here? We would only need to hold out until Inuyasha and Kagome return. When they realized that we weren't in the village and realized there had been a landslide, they'd come to find us. I have faith in them. They would find us."

"Agreed," I smiled at her, proud of our diplomacy. I realized she had stopped chattering, but her clothes were still wet. Fox fire didn't dry clothes that well. "Are you still cold?"

"No. Well, yes, but it's not so bad now that I'm out of that nasty wind. Besides, walking around without the wind cutting through me warmed me up a bit." She began arranging the sticks in a tent-like shape, and stopped. "Are you really so hungry that you need to eat right now?"

I shook my head no. "Let's wait until Shippo wakes up again." She looked at me shyly, her eyes lingering on the blankets. I glared at her. "Don't even thinking about coming in here wearing those wet clothes! Then the blankets will get wet, and all three of us will be miserable again! And Kirara will start to smell if it soaks through the blankets into her fur!" The large cat demon growled a warning, and I winced, quickly apologizing. "I was just trying to illustrate a point, of course you don't smell in the slightest…."

Sango interrupted what could have become a literal cat fight. "Point or not, nothing is going to make me strip for you and then crawl under the blankets with you, Miroku."

The idea of her removing her clothes simply for me and my enjoyment was a tantalizing idea. I felt my arousal trying to snatch that idea and hold it, imagining the curves I admired on her figure beating in time to a primal drum and… but I flattened that idea before it could cause anything to rise up. "Then don't. You still have the fox fire, so go and change where I can't see you. I won't look." She gave me a look that said she didn't believe me, and I frowned at her. "I've kept my promises to you before, haven't I?"

My reminder made her think, and though she hadn't changed her expression, she retreated to wherever she had come from to change out of her wet clothes. I shifted carefully to not disturb the child around my neck, so that there would be enough room for Sango. When she came back, she had somehow extinguished the fox fire that had floated by her shoulder. I was glad for it. The shape and color of the fox fire reminded me too much of the dead spirits I've seen in life, and I shuddered to think of some of those spirits hanging around Sango like that. In the darkness of the cave, it didn't matter if I looked at her or not; I couldn't see anything, not even the tip of my nose. Even the snowflakes now and then rolling into our little nest from the entrance of the cave were invisible.

Carefully, she slid into the nest of blankets. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, drawing with it the blanket that I had around my upper torso. She pulled the blanket around my legs over hers as well, her bare legs mingling with mine. Her arms tied around me as Kirara again lay her tails over our bodies, her head curling until it was almost on my lap as well. Our hair was still a bit damp, but with all our body heats mingling together, we were actually quite warm. Sango unfurled the blanket that I hadn't realized she'd brought over. It was the small one Shippo used when he wasn't curling up with Kagome. She lay that over the cat demon so that the side of Kirara that didn't harbor us could be slightly warmer.

For the third time, I found myself sleeping with Sango. My arm wrapped around her shoulder, she held me like a child holds a favorite doll, her head on my shoulder and my other side occupied by a sleeping kitsune. She wore only her undergarments, and when her bare skin touched mine, I felt only her soft skin, and was happy that it was warm. She sighed with contentment and I turned my face to smell her hair.

I knew that I'd been right, regarding what I had been talking with Shippo about, when I found that I didn't care that her hair was greasy from being unwashed, or that she didn't smell as fresh as a daisy. As far as I was concerned, she smelled as clean as the mountain air that had tried repeatedly to kill us since we had started through the mountains. My right hand moved up from her arm to stroke her cheek, using my sense of touch to create a mental map of her. My curved finger stroked her jaw line, getting her to tilt her head ups lightly, and my nose brushed hers. It was, more than anything else, the breath that told me where her mouth was.

"Don't," she told me in a whisper. She knew what I planned on doing.

"Why?" She didn't respond, I just felt her body give a tiny shudder, and I knew what had stilled her body from the moment I had caressed her hair with my cheek. She was only nervous, as if ashamed that the life of a demon slayer and a revengeful monk was something that prohibited me from getting close to her. Sango thought that just because she hadn't brushed her teeth in awhile that I might be repulsed. Her bangs tickled my forehead as I gave my head the tiniest of shakes. "I don't care."

I kissed her, only once, and only the tiniest of kisses. If she didn't want me to kiss her, then I would only move enough to prove to her that I really didn't care. Perhaps that surprised her, and she relaxed as I leaned back against Kirara.

We were silent a moment. "Sango?" I asked quietly. "Do you think I'll make a good father?"

I didn't know what possessed me to ask her. Perhaps I thought that asking her something so personal to me might make up for me giving her even that small kiss, because I knew she didn't want me to kiss her. I didn't even know if Sango would give me an honest answer. Maybe she would lie just to salve my pride.

"Do you think that a woman who is more used to taking down centipede demons on her own can get used to changing diapers, or have her daughter learn to use a sword before she starts learning something like flower arranging can be a good mother?"

"I think that sounds like a wonderful mother," I told Sango.

"Will you love your child?"

Rather than wonder why she had asked me such an obvious answer, I closed my eyes and relaxed, letting the love in my voice turn my tone gentle and soothing… longing, even. "I'll love them always. No matter what their sex, or what they do, or what they grow up to be, I'll always love them."

"Will you tell them that you love them? Will you tell them that they're beautiful, and give them the freedom to become the people they want to be? Will you tell them you're proud of them?"

"Yes." I'd tell them that I loved them everyday. I'd tell them how much they mean to me so often they'd get up early to leave for the school just to avoid me embarrassing them.

Sango leaned up her head and kissed my cheek. "Then I think you'll be a fine parent, Houshi-sama."

Right then and there I wanted nothing more than to grab her and kiss her until there wasn't an ounce of breath left in my body. Somehow, I managed to not say anything at all, and not doing anything either. I just thought about what she had asked me, and when I still had only begun to scratch the depth of the questions she had asked me, I filed them away for further consideration.

Perhaps because she felt a bit concerned by my previous query, or that the things she had hinted at that in her mind were the qualities of a good father, Sango asked her own question next. "Miroku, I know that I agreed to bear your children and everything, but before you get entirely concerned about being a parent, perhaps we should discuss how many children you expect to be parenting?"

"Ah, Sango, I've thought about this a lot." I had. I had ever since she agreed to bear my children, since I had stopped chasing any other girls and dared to dream about the future that Sango and I could have. I wanted a family, I knew that, and I had thought at one point that perhaps to fill the void in my life –no pun intended- regarding my own lack of family, that the larger my own could be, the better. But then, giving birth to a child is a dangerous thing, for a woman. Should the life Sango and I create together be the cause of her death, I know it would kill a part of me also. Some part of me didn't want to take that chance. It is lawful to take another wife, if I could support both of them… but to have one wife to love and cherish and protect, and another solely for giving me the child that I dream of being borne from both Sango and I?....

"Two. All I want is two, one boy, and a girl to be just like her mother."

Her head lifted from my shoulder. "Two? That's all? Ah, not that I'm trying to complain or anything, because I think that sounds perfectly wonderful, I had just expected you to say something like… thirteen and that I would have to talk you down to a reasonable number. I think one boy and one girl sounds very nice. And sentimental…."

As she placed her head back down on my shoulder and we drifted off to sleep, I wondered why she called it sentimental. Was it because she knew that she meant so much to me that I didn't want to lose her, or…. No, I then realized. Her own family had been one boy and one girl. Perhaps there had been more, who had not made it, as there was a great age difference between Sango and her brother, but whatever the reason, there was Sango, and there was Kohaku, and I would gladly mold the family we would create together after hers, simply to give her back the family she had lost.

Outside, the blizzard still raged, but inside the cave it was very warm, and comforting. I might have to wait years to make a family with Sango, but with Kirara protecting us, and Shippo squished between us, part of me noted that whether or not we accepted or realized it, we were a family already.


	17. Sampling

Dressing Wounds

AN: This update is brought to you by my boyfriend, because he just left and I want to update. Updating makes me happy (though I may be happier when I finish my essay that's due in two days!). And sorry about last week's confusion. This chapter is the lemon, not the last one. It was supposed to say that chapter seventeen would be a lemon. Sorry about that.

-I heard someone say that Sango and Miroku needed some alone time together?

-Aprill May; you're such a sweetie! Don't worry about the oral surgery. I had to have it done when I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. It was no problem… except my body doesn't take well to drugs, so when I appeared lucid enough to sit up on my own in the "recovery chair" I kept falling out. The nurses had to put me back in. I say they deserved it for not letting me sleep longer!

-Lily: I found that once I started writing in 1st person, I couldn't stop. Now 3rd person writing is going to be a bitch.

-Noooooooooo! A spoiler for the movie! Du-ude! I haven't seen it yet! doesn't even own graphic novel number nine yet

Arg! Anyway, there are more reviews, I know I'd reply to them all, but then I would never get this story uploaded! And I still have homework to do… maybe I'll just do it early tomorrow morning.

Enjoy, ladies and germs! (I will be giving out samples of free chocolate after this chapter to rid the lemon taste from your mouth. Please, help yourself.)

Chapter Seventeen: Sampling

Once again, I found Miroku in the kitchen, after I had put Shippo to bed, and Kirara was with him, taking a long deserved rest from our hike up and over the mountains. Kagome and Inuyasha wouldn't be setting out in their own journey back to this village for another three days, so we had plenty of time to relax. For the first time in a long time, Miroku didn't have to lie about black clouds hanging over the houses of the inns. When the townspeople heard we had traversed the mountains, they were willing to give us rooms in the inn without hesitation, asking that all we gave them in return were stories.

At the moment that I found him in the kitchen, I was planning on doing anything but relaxing with Miroku. Ever since he had told me how he kept warm, the cold air hadn't bothered me so much because I found myself fantasizing about what exactly he had been thinking about. How was he planning on touching me? How did he want to be touched? The one that really made the fire that sparked only for Miroku go up in a blaze was: 'What is he planning on doing to me?'

Oh, the thought scared me. I'm not afraid to admit that. I remember sitting under a tree with him, and watching his eyes darken, his voice turn deeper and more suggestive… and I remember having that scare me a little, the same way I became scared at simply going to him, telling him to touch me the way he wanted… come to think of it, the same way he had allowed me to touch him as I had dreamed.

I didn't like thinking that I was more of an object to him than a person, a toy to be played with when the need arises, but for every bit that he opened up to me, I had already decided to reciprocate. Besides, I still remember those stories that the women in Musashi's domain had said about Miroku. I wondered if afterwards, I would be so willing to perhaps join in with those discussions. I wanted him to touch me as he had them, for him to know me… as only I knew me, and for me to experience a whole new set of pleasure from knowing that he was the one that made my heart race, that it was his hands that touched me….

Does that make any sense? Maybe I'm not explaining it well enough, but that's as close as I can get to explaining them.

Either way, the fear I experienced, it was so minimal that I don't think it could even qualify as being called fear. It was… anxiety, nervousness, but I say fear and somehow my mind substitutes it with horror. Horror was far from what I felt when I thought of him.

I digress. We had over a week before Kagome and Inuyasha returned. I was looking forward to simply spending some time with Miroku. We could start exercising again, and of course, Shippo would join us. Now, however, that Shippo was asleep, I was looking forward to just talking with Miroku.

He was in the kitchen, sitting as if he were a saint, talking to the innkeeper about why a monk and a demon slayer were traveling together. Of course, he never made any mention of the Shikon jewel, or anything too personal like my family or his kazaana, merely that we were looking for a fierce demon, or any clues of his whereabouts.

Miroku stopped talking when he saw me in the doorway. I had thought that perhaps the kiss I had given him as I reached over to his hand might have driven us apart a bit, but nothing had really changed. I never wanted him to look at me like that again, so I was pleased when he smiled.

"Houshi-sama, Shippo's asleep. I just thought that you might like to know. That, and if you wanted to continue learning that kata, the beach is a wonderful place to practice it. So if you wanted to go and do a bit of kumite, just let me know." I ducked my head as I left, and felt proud with myself. There. I hadn't gotten drawn into an awkward conversation with our hosts, I'd left him an open invitation for whatever he wanted to do, and I had been polite, so as not to embarrass him.

I heard the sound of a chair scraping the floor, and I hung back. Miroku hurried around the corner three seconds later, and practically ran into me. We wordlessly continued down the hallway. I didn't know where we were going, nor did I care.

Miroku was slightly reserved in his body language, his arms close to his sides as we walked, and I didn't want to pry. Eventually, I asked him what was bothering him. "Sango, how come you switch between referring to me as a monk and by name?"

Feeling my cheeks blush, I felt like I was walking on air I answered him with perfect honesty and without the slightest hesitation. "Well, I call you that in public to be respectful. People might think badly of us if I called you by name, and because you're my friend, you deserve that respect, do you not? When we're alone, I sometimes call you that when I feel…." I searched for the right words, and slipped my hand into his when I found the word. "Playful. Or, sometimes because I'm about to say something that I think might hurt you, like when we were arguing about your hand, and I want to soften the blow a little bit by making it less personal… maybe even distancing myself from you a little bit so that if you get mad at me, it won't hurt me so much."

I looked up at him to find him staring down at me, a surprised yet pleasant expression on his face. When he accepted that I had just told him what he wanted to know without putting up a fight, he asked me why.

"Because it was a matter that concerned you, so you had a right to know."

He thought about my reasoning, and suggested something else. "Could we… might you be able to start calling me something else in public, like Miroku-san or Miroku-sama… I just don't like being called monk by you, Sango."

I love the way he says my name. I love the way that it rolls off his tongue, the tone of his voice when he says it. I held his hand just a little bit tighter, swinging our arms back and forth childishly. I felt rather childish, giddy from the sincerity of our conversation, but I still blushed when I stared up at him, admiring the way he held himself. All that was ruined when I asked him, "What if I called you Miroku-kun?"

His faltered step recovered a moment later, and he smiled at me, pulling me to a stop. His free hand tilted up my face, his fingertips tracing the curve of my bottom lip. From his gentle touch my bottom lip fell open, knowing that he was planning on kissing me. I'd studied his movements, and it was starting to take a lot from Miroku to surprise me. "That, Lady Sango, I would greatly love, though I think that kind of a name is one better left behind doors we close when we want to have one of our… lessons."

"Can we have one tonight?" Even I was surprised by the longing in my voice, and Miroku stopped leaning down to kiss me. He pulled back up, finding me completely serious. I took the moment to study the way his bangs fell into his eyes from this angle, the way he was so… attune to me that I was the only thing to which he was paying attention. I could feel his gaze add fuel to the fire that his touch had already sparked.

I swallowed hard, but the floating feeling wouldn't go away. Under his violet eyes, I felt beautiful and passionate… I felt like I could be the seducer or the seduced, I just felt so totally unlike myself! And I loved every second of this strange new side of me awoken by Miroku.

My blood quickened and my breathing increased. I lowered my voice, fearing one of the inn members might hear me, totally unaware of what it must sound like to Miroku. "Since that night in the cave, I've wondered about what you were thinking about. Shippo's asleep, Kirara's with him, and Inuyasha and Kagome aren't even here, so isn't this the perfect opportunity? Please… just satisfy my curiosity."

He leaned down and kissed my nose. I covered my mouth, stifling a giggle. How could Miroku be so cute and so… perverted at the same time? "Gladly, Lady Sango…." He held my hand fast and we started back upstairs, to the empty room that we had been given. Miroku paused at the door, and for a moment I thought that he was going to carry me across the threshold. He changed his mind, and held the door open for me, shutting it behind him and locking it fast.

The light came from behind him, hiding his face from me. Still, there was enough light for me to see him lick his lips, and I could feel his gaze move over me from head to toe, and back up again. This was the devouring that he had spoken of, and what I found was that it was not so much something physical, but… something more. He wasn't devouring me, he was trying to capture the image of me in that time and place the same way I was him. It was a loss of… humanity… a longing so strong that it consumed our desires.

"Strip."

My eyelashes fluttered as I looked down at the ground and then back up at him. He was already undoing his own outer robe. I made a swift decision. I know why it had caused a sudden thrill in me to be told to strip just like that, and why I could see the arousal in him. He knew I wouldn't do it, that I was too prideful to take orders like that, but he dreamt of me doing it, just for him. I just wanted to do whatever he wanted to feel his body moving on top of mine… but I was too prideful. I wouldn't just give in.

I loosened the belt that closed my yukata and walked over to face him. I didn't touch him, but I did stand on the tips of my toes, leaning into his personal area. I'd heard the unspoken challenge and I would meet it with my own. "Make me."

His hands clasped me by the arms, and his lips captured mine in a kiss that hurt more than it pleased me. I muffled a protest, and he lifted his mouth, his lips pecking mine in tiny apologies. Taking a deep breath, he thought, and used the sweetened words to which I had become addicted to sway me into removing his clothes for him. His mouth was so close to mine I think the words touched me before I heard them. His voice was low, private, but rough from his quick breath. "Sango, allow me to see that body that you've kept hidden from me for so long. I've already felt so much of it, let my other senses indulge in the pleasures of your company. Allow me to see you, and taste you, as no man as done before. Al….."

I silenced him with a tiny kiss. A girl could become inebriated from words like those. "Anything," I told him, feeling myself smile. For the first time, I was actually having _fun_ with this flirting thing. It was a game of tug of war, each vying to get what we wanted, and each helping each other to get what each other wanted. I'd been praised, heard him ask instead of simply commanding, but still salvaged his pride with no more than a word and an agreement.

Stepping back from him, the rest of my belt fell away. I blushed slightly as I pulled off my yukata, hanging it on the back of a small chair so it wouldn't get stepped on. Miroku stole that chair, his eyes intent upon my figure. "I'm afraid there is a lot to undress…."

He smiled at me, the smile visible as he lit a few of the lamps in the room, basking the room in a light no brighter than a dawn or sunset. "I can wait…."

My secret weapons came next, and I stacked them on the table. Miroku turned to follow in the chair, and I saw a twinkle in his eye at watching me sit on the table. My heart skipped a beat, and my blush grew as I continued. As my armor began to come off, and only the black uniform itself was between Miroku and most of my skin, he spoke again. "If you're nervous, just watch me." He began to take off the dark inner robe, but I shook my head.

"I'm not nervous," I told him, undoing the buttons at my neck. "Just wondering why, when you've seen Kagome and I naked before, why you would be so excited to see me now."

"Because," he gulped when the outfit was pushed down to my hips, and as I stepped out of it, his voice was barely audible. "This time, you're allowing me to see it, and in the light, I can see everything."

I reached up to undo the bindings that held down my breasts, and he got up faster than I had thought he would, having looked so relaxed as I removed my clothes for him. "No!" He repeated the word a little softer, his body warm as it neared mine. "Please, allow me to remove that myself, Lady Sango."

When I nodded, he undid the front part of the tie, tucked between the folds of the binding between both of my breasts, the easiest place for it to be for when I undid and rebound my breasts. I expected him to have some other ploy and when he did, I was almost proud. He leaned down, kissing my neck in gentle pulses, to the same beat with which he undid my bindings. As more of my breasts were exposed, the further down his lips traveled. I leaned my head back, watching the way his dark lashes were prominent against his skin, amazed at how… involved he seemed in making me feel good. Perhaps part of me still thought he was so accustomed to this, so accustomed to sex, that this would be a piece of cake for him, nothing but a repetition, but no…. After watching him, I knew that I would never think that way again.

Licking my dry lips, the last of the binding fell away. Miroku stared at them, longer than I thought he would. He preferred asses, didn't he? Perhaps not. Curling a finger, he brushed it down the white skin of the curves he had exposed. He leaned his forehead against mine, and for more than the first time in my life I thank the muscles that supported me as I leaned on the table. My revealed chest grazed his as he moved closer to me. His hand moved up to stroke my cheek with his palm. "I told you, Sango, you're beautiful." He kissed me, and he was just as I loved him to be as he kissed me, his touch light and carefree, steadily growing passionate as I responded to his… talented mouth, one hand stroking his chest, pleased that I had found a strong man.

His own hand moved to my chest, cupping my breast and molding it into his hand gently. I squirmed in pleasure against his body. Was this what he had been dreaming about? His other hand reached down and squeezed my buttock, and the southern part of my body moved closer to his, letting the heat between us flow back and forth.

When his finger nails carefully scraped my hardened nipple, a sharp breath showed my surprise. Miroku smiled, his lips moving back down my neck, his teeth grazing at my skin as he moved quicker. His hands traded positions, one resting my on butt while the other massaged my breast. I leaned my head back give him better access, still new with the idea of using my voice to direct him. I was quickly learning though.

His tongue licked my breast, and I reached out to him, drawing my body closer to his out of instinct. I didn't realize that my breath was coming out in tiny pants until I let out a captured moan. "_Miroku__…_"

His teeth nipped accidentally at my flesh when he gave a look of satisfaction from my response. What must have been agonizingly slowly to both of us, he took my nipple into his mouth, rolling the nub with his tongue. His mouth was so unexpectedly warm that I leaned my head back further, pulling the muscles under his lips tighter so that the flesh became more sensitive. I moaned even harder when he bit one of them gently, feeling my legs shake from my growing arousal.

As he suckled, I clutched at the table, trying to steady myself, and spread my legs further, trying to give him more room to use. Even I, used to carrying around the haraikotsu, was unable to sustain myself for very long. I fell back on the table, pulling him down with me. I pulled out his ponytail, entwining my fingers in his hair as he moved to the other breast. My lips were trembling from the feelings he was causing in me, not just because of what he was doing, but the gentle hunger in his movements, the grace in his body over mine, and even just the fact that it was _Miroku_ who was touching me.

I swear that bastard was torturing me on purpose.

One hand freed itself as his lips began to kiss down my stomach. I wanted to feel his erection rubbing against me, savoring the feeling of his veins inches away from mine, our most vulnerable spots pressed up against each other, from our base to our stomachs, up to our hearts, our mouths at each others necks…. It made me wonder who I'd been spending too much time with, the pervert or the demons.

I pulled at his pants, and my body was cold as he stood up. His hair framed that jaw line I loved, masking his face and making him look much more like the rogue monk I'd now and then accused him of being. He backed up, and removed his pants, throwing them back down on the pile of our clothes. I stared at him in shock. There was a fine layer of sweat on his chest, yet… nothing. I looked up at him, and he gave me a gentle smile.

"I have much more control than you'd think, Sango." His body crawled back on top of mine, kissing me in between his words until I was once again flat against the table. "It's actual possible for some men to have orgasms without an erection. It's not that you're not attractive, or that having you like this… right at my fingertips, doesn't arouse me…." His fingertips trailed down my stomach, tracing the outlines of muscles. "Merely that if I did react that way right now, I know that I'd have to have you, and I wouldn't be able to stop… not until every ounce of energy was out of my body, and we agreed. No children until after Naraku. So, to ensure that… no intercourse until after Naraku."

I was puzzled, but my question turned into a low moan as the fingers that had been on my stomach slipped between my legs, stroking me through the only vestments I still wore. I squirmed, sighing in pleasure, unaware that he was watching my every movement. "Then," I panted, feeling as if this was the most intense workout I'd ever experienced, "if you weren't planning on having intercourse, what are we going to do?"

Lecherously grinning as he always did, he began pulling back the only piece of clothing that separated us. "You'll see. But, you also see, I think I've begun to come of these… times, as _actually_ being lessons. Start off easy, with simply holding each other, then move on to kissing, and then to showing you the pleasure your body can give you, and then the pleasure that you create in mine… and this lesson… I don't know what to call this yet…."

I heard the pile of clothes grow and pushed myself up on my elbows to watch him as his hand drew up the inside of my thighs, bypassing the area that longed for his touch to lay on my waist. My eyes went from his flaccid penis to his chest, up to his eyes. They seemed to have caught the flames that caused my breathing to be so rapid, and I began to blush under his eyes. He kissed me, and I relaxed at his familiar touch. This time, it was with the tone of a lover or an older teacher as he told me to lean back on the table, so I did so without a fuss.

I heard him get on his knees, and his hands gently pulled my legs a bit wider. After that, the only thing I heard was the beating of my own heart. I stared at the ceiling, unaware of what he was doing. I choked on my words, but managed to say them. "I trust you, Miroku." I was scared –wouldn't any woman be in that scenario?- but I did, I trusted Miroku, and knew that he would never hurt me.

His movements paused, and then, the touch of his tongue sent black-violet lightening through my body. My muscles tensed, and he didn't move again until he was sure that I knew what he meant to do. I had to applaud him for his honesty. He had said that he wanted to taste me.

His tongue pressed further, and I felt myself moan already. I clung to the low table. He moved up, and when he touched my clitoris, I dug my nails into the wood, suddenly crying out his name. My body wanted to move, but I steeled it into staying into position, the contractions of my muscles making my body shiver, though I was boiling warm. If I were as light as air and burned like fire, than Miroku had to be the remaining three elements. Or, remembering the way he gazed at me, we were fire together, my air matched by his calm water and his hard earth by metal just as strong.

"Yes." As his tongue rubbed my clitoris, the electrical fire making my limbs heavy and light at the same time, my exclamations came faster, my breathing heavier. Miroku could do no wrong in my eyes, from the way he was pleasing me with his mouth to the way that his hands caressed my legs. "Oh, oh _God_…. Miroku….."

My knee was cold when he moved it, and I felt his fingers pressing into me even as his tongue still moved. I let out a small whimper, wondering if a woman could die this way. It was followed immediately by something even my pride couldn't stop, though I feared it sound too much like I was desperate. "Don't stop… please, Miroku, don't stop…." But after I said it, and he didn't stop, but instead pressed his fingers into me, stroking my inner walls, I found myself longing to say it again, both as a release for me and because I wanted him to hear how much it pleased me.

I repeated it again, my voice growing, and each time I said his name, his speed increased, driving me closer to the edge. When I felt another finger rubbing my wet opening, feeling it start to slide into me easily, I felt something inside of me explode. I'd always heard from bathhouse rumors that the feelings Miroku caused were like explosions, but this… this was more like a cliff, a free fall. I cried out his name loudly, and it was followed by a long moan, the heat pouring out of my body, and I repeated his name over and over, no more than a whisper.

Then, it was just me, holding my stomach in one hand and staring at the ceiling, feeling my lips and cheeks burn, feeling everywhere touched by Miroku burn. I wanted to sit up, but I was so tired… so out of breath…

I hadn't even realized that Miroku had left me, until he leaned over me again and smiled at me. He leaned down to kiss me gently, and I curled my fingers in his hair, deepening his touch in slow, steady strokes. When he pulled away, I was the one to smile up at him. I realized that he held a robe in his hands for me, wearing one already, and I groaned as I sat up. "I didn't realize that… whatever that was could be such a workout."

He helped me stand up on weak and shaky legs, and dressed me for me. It was… enjoyable, being tended to in such a manner, especially how he kissed my skin lovingly before covering me back up. I leaned against him, as we walked to the mattress in his room. I looked up at him, my elation from his… whatever that was, still causing my heartbeat to be faster than normal, my cheeks flushed, my body light and unresponsive to the commands of my mind. Then again, even that had shut up. "Have I told you how incredibly talented you are with that mouth of yours, Miroku?" I giggled when he blushed, and leaned against his chest. He had to pick me up to lay me beside him on the bed. "Now I just hold that more true than ever."

As he crawled in beside me, drawing the blankets over us, I kissed his cheek, and rolled over, pulling his arm with me so that it covered my waist. I enjoyed the feeling of his chest pressing into my back. I brought his left hand up to my mouth and kissed his knuckles before pressing it back on my waist. My giddiness was slowly flowing out of me as the fire burned down to embers, and my feet touched ground again to find I had no energy left. I sighed, feeling silly and foolish, acting like I was drunk from his touch. Hell, scratch that, I _was_ drunk from his touch!

"Miroku, have I ever told you that you're really quite handsome?"

"No," he quietly replied, and I wondered why he seemed so… distant.

"Well you are, you know. You're one of the best looking men I've ever seen. But… I guess that you get a lot of women telling you that…."

I felt him shrug. "Maybe," he said, and I was mad at him for not giving me a hard answer. "However, you're the first person in four or five years from whom it really mattered to hear those words."

That made me feel a lot better, but I still wondered at the tone of his voice. I done something improper? Was this supposed to be quiet time? What? I lifted my head and turned to look at him, and I only said his name, hoping he understood I wanted an explanation. I would be too afraid to voice my questions now, after my embarrassment from my performance on the table, and worrying about pestering him too much.

When he smiled at me, it was a said smile. "I'm sorry, Sango. I just…." He reached out with his other hand, laying on his back and pulling me over him. "I want to tell you how much I love you, and I worry that it might ruin the moment."

'I love you. I love you so much, Miroku!' My eyes softened, and I wished I could say those words out loud. "It won't ruin anything, Miroku… I want to hear you say it."

His face brightened, and he kissed me repeatedly, telling me he loved me between each quick, cherished kiss. "I love you, Sango."

"I know," I said, as I always did. I placed my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat, and this time he wrapped his arms around me without me needing to place his arms there. I smiled, proudly fantasizing telling the women in the bathhouse that when I was with Miroku, it was no quick explosion for me. It was slow, and powerful, a current that carried me away and left me painlessly vulnerable, and that he was gentleman enough not to try anything else with me, because he wanted everything to be perfect.

When I heard his breath assume the rhythm I had come to relate with the deepest of his sleeps, I opened my mouth to tell him I loved him, as I could say only when he was asleep, and his arms tightened around me, his lips moaning out my name. I hid my frown from him in the darkness.

That night, I didn't tell him I loved him, because I couldn't tell when he was really asleep. Despite everything, my body was happy, and tired, but my heart was unsatisfied. Nor would it… _could_ it be satisfied, until Naraku was buried in pieces in the ground, so that I could tell Miroku everything, and break down the final wall that rested between us.

Until then, my feelings remained simply my own thoughts.


	18. Fiancee

Dressing Wounds

AN: Update time! Just because… I like updating. nods

B4By: I make things fluffy by practice; also because I still maintain that if you dissect me, you will find I have Coca-cola in my veins and cotton candy for brains.

Marlingrl: Thank you very much! I find lemons very difficult to write. My poor brain just can't take it… sniffles I work on them so hard… I'm glad to know that Sango and Miroku aren't the only ones who get kicks out of their little flings.

Aamalie: I know nothing about you reading chapter 17!

Soli-chan: I know nothing about you reading chapter 17!

Aprill May: There will be Lindt chocolate, just for you. And once again: trust me, it's not that bad. I'm afraid of needles. Terrified of them to the point that when I went to give blood, the nurses were hesitant to give me the needle because if I didn't have a pulse, my temperature would have indicated I needed to go to hospital and have a checkup. (I was so cold my teeth were chattering… it was about 22 degrees Celsius outside…)

Tsuki: But from Sango's point of view, her admitting that she has feelings might mean that she ruins Miroku's soul and would set him back on his path to enlightenment. She certainly doesn't want that. But it will be soon. Scout's honor!

Yami-neko2: Sango doesn't want to admit anything because … well, 2 chapters and you can find out for yourself!

Jade Goddess: No, Inuyasha and Sango don't know anything. They may suspect, but they have yet to confirm that Sango and Miroku are in an intimate relationship.

Demon Exterminator: He left me, and went home, as he was up visiting for the weekend. I miss him, and since reviews help me feel better… He inspired the update, not the chapter, seeing as how this has actually been gestating since sometime around… oh, say, April. My muse was very busy last year.

Lily Thorne: blinks You read this at school? Damn girl, gusty! can't even read lemons with the bedroom door open

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed! Enjoy!

And yes, I have been watching a TON of X!

Chapter Eighteen: Fiancee

I barely moved when I awoke, trying to stitch every second of waking up and finding Sango in my arms into my memory. Perhaps one may think that with the hole in my hand pulsing, and the woman I love so close to me, that I might be worried or concerned waking up like this, but in fact, it's quite the opposite. I barely felt my hand at all, only her breath on my skin, her warmth, her dark hair brushing against me when she moved… I'm not _unaware_ of the void, merely… safe. Not safe for myself, but safe for her. I'd never let the void take Sango.

I lifted my head slightly, trying to see the woman with her fingers entwined in my robe, the air from her lungs pooling over my heart on the inside of my robes. My hand itched to grope her, but I couldn't. Not when she was sleeping, not when she was sleeping in my arms. Perhaps I might have as a teasing way to wake her up, but never to make her think I was trying to take advantage of her.

A soft smile curled her mouth, her lips still dark from the heat of her blood the night before. From beneath her lashes, her eyes sparkled, though she hadn't opened them all the way. I couldn't think of way to say good morning to her, to let her know that I was awake now, too. Perhaps it was the change in my breathing that told her, but either way, Sango lifted her head and touched her lips to mine in a shy kiss hello, before she put her head back down on the pillow.

Grinning like a fool, I leaned back, and enjoyed holding her. First and foremost, I was relaxed, and I knew that under that, I was scared. Was she lacking? Had she been warm enough during the night? Did she… did she like it? Yes, I was just as nervous about her. Each woman likes to be touched differently, each woman has their own secret fantasies that a man needs to discover, the secret ways to bring the most pleasure to a woman, and I wondered if I had accomplished this with Sango.

Closing my eyes, I found that I knew she was happy. I could feel her satisfaction pouring out of her, and into me. I reached the arm that had been under my head to hold her shoulders, holding her back and moving only slightly, trying to get more comfortable so that I could lie with her and hold her, touch her at the same time.

Slowly, she spoke, and I knew she'd mistaken my pleased quiet for nervousness… or perhaps she had picked up on the worry underneath everything else in my mind. "Miroku," she breathed, "that was… was….."

"Did you like it?" She nodded, heavily, and a lot. Apparently, she had really liked it. "Then don't bother trying to find the right words. That's all I wanted to know. I couldn't stand the idea of doing something that you didn't like, but at the same time, I thought that if I had told you before hand what I had been planning to do, you would have become frightened, and begun to think of me as being nothing but a pervert again. So I thought that if I demonstrated it to you, showed you, made you feel the pleasures…." I thought, and smiled. "The pleasures that a little bit of perversion can bring you, you might… be less mad at me for not telling you what I was planning."

Sango was quiet. I wondered what she was thinking about, and when she asked me where I had learned that anyway, I thought that she had changed her question. I felt my cheeks turn a bit red, and was glad that Sango couldn't see me turn red. It might ruin the idea she has of me in her head of being the lecherous, rogue monk. It's often a fun role to play, and if that's what she cares to think of me as, then I don't mind at all. I had little problem telling Sango about my previous… encounters with women, but this was too close even for me. I tried to think of the best way to tell her, trying to predict her reaction, but part of why I loved her was because she couldn't be predicted.

I couldn't quite come out and blurt what I wanted to say, I needed to bring Sango to a point where she could put the pieces together herself. She was an intelligent person, and since our game had never been turned off, I still needed to prove to her that I was interested in her for more than her ass. Plus, since we had started to become more physical and she had already told me that just because she had agreed to bear my children, it didn't mean that she wanted to stop being romantic, so proving that I love all aspects of her had become vitally important.

"I'm afraid I can't just come out and answer that, Sango. To do so, might be to accidentally insult you. So, if you wish, I can tell you a story about a young man, though I'm afraid it's a very simple story."

"Please do," she said, sounding almost childishly eager. "I've heard you tell stories to Shippo. I like the way you tell stories, Miroku. The way your voice changes when you speak in prose, it just… it's enchanted."

Resisting leaning down and kissing her, to simply just watch her as I spoke to see how she responded to this so-called 'enchantment', I started my story. "This story begins many years ago. It starts off with a young man on a journey, a young man who is highly intelligent, very good looking…."

Sango giggled. I loved the sound, and so, I didn't mind that it had interrupted my tale. "Let me guess: his name was Miroku?"

"Aw, well now you've just gone and ruined my surprise. Yes, this handsome, intelligent man was named Miroku. Surprisingly, he was very, very bad with words, and he was very nervous with women. But, he was able bodied, and when his tongue didn't fail him, he was able to make quite an argument. He left his home, a hole in his hand and a void needing to be filled in his heart, his mind only set upon lifting the curse plaguing his family. The first village he came across, he realized that he would not be able to make it to the next community before the sun fell, so he decided he would stay there. He needed a place to stay, but despite his _kesa_ and his _shakujo_, and his knowledge of the lessons of the Buddha, no one would do the common courtesy and offer me a room for the night. Then, his attention wandered when he saw a girl his own age struggling in a nearby field, the hoe she used twice her size.

"At the sight of her tenacity, he forgot his nervousness around the opposite sex, and he ran to help her. He took over the hoeing for her, and she continued the planting, placing and burying each seed one by one, with a tenderness he had never seen before, even though he had grown up with Mushin. He asked her why she took such care making sure each one was so preciously buried, and she was surprised. She told him it was because each one was its own plant, special, and needed to be treated as such. Otherwise, the plants wouldn't realize how special they were, and they would wither away and die before ever being able to bear fruit.

"They worked until after sunset. She thanked him, and headed toward her house, and he remained in the field. When she realized he had nowhere to go, she asked him to go with her, and he gratefully accepted. They went home, and he found that the girl lived with her sick father, which is why she worked the fields. Her father had become injured in a battle for the village against a demon, and had broken his left arm. While not that serious of an injury, disease had set into the wound, and it refused to heal. He cooked, and kept the house, while she worked in their patch of earth. Though they said that giving the boy a bed and some food was the least they could do for helping with the planting, he couldn't leave the father with his wound, and he said that the next day he would gather herbs and make a salve for them.

"One thing led to another, and the boy ended up dallying there, alternating between helping the wounds of the demon fighters in that village heal, and helping the girl in her garden. The girl was a beauty, in many more ways than one. Her hair was dark and long, but her eyes were wide, and honey-brown, like a combination between yours and Inuyasha's. When her father's wounds finished closing, it was she who allowed the boy to give her, her first kiss, and the gossips of the village spoke of a possible marriage arrangement.

"This, of course, terrified the boy, and every day he told the girl that he was going to resume his quest to lift the curse on his family the next morning, and every night he said that to her she smiled and told him 'of course'. And every morning, he forgot his promise from the night before, and helped out where he could around the village.

"It was the girl who taught him how to use his words. She was always getting into trouble, but never got caught, because her talent with speaking always managed to get her out of trouble.

"I shall not tell you of how or why it came to be that one night we shared a bed. That portion of this story is kept under heavy seal, but perhaps one day it may be told. It must certainly be made clear that there was nothing perverted about it, or that the male was the one who was in control of the entire situation. The boy loved the girl, thinking that she was the perfect person for him, and she loved him in return. She even accepted the fact that his eyes might wander, or his hand, which as of late had began to grope her when they were alone, and of course, the hole in his hand, and how one day he would finally act on the speech he made it last night, telling her goodbye, to go and find the man that had cursed him, and kill him.

"However, she left him first. Demons attacked the village soon after they began to speak of having children, and the entire village rose up to try and defend itself. Though everyone fought bravely, and the demons were finally driven back, many in the village were killed, or injured. She was one of them. Though the young monk tried everything he knew, he could not make the young woman well again, and she expired in front of his eyes. However, she did not leave him until after she said his goodbyes; telling him that she loved him, thanking him for everything he had done, and asking him not to forget the things that she had taught him.

"After her body was buried, he continued on his way, vowing never to forget her, just as she had asked. When he came to the next village, the first thing he found were two men beating on a woman in front of their village, cursing and yelling at her as no man ever should yell and cuss at a woman. I'm afraid they were even worse than our half-demon companion. Unable to walk by, he intervened, and reprimanded the men. Though younger than the attackers, after he had beaten one of them with his staff, they ran. He helped the woman up, asking to know why the men had been beating her, and she said that they called her words because her husband had recently died, and yet she had refused to return to her father, instead staying to care for his lands and animal as any loving wife should. However, she was also lonely, and as she was still young, no more than three years his senior, the young men of the village would often come and keep her bed warm at night with her.

"This puzzled the young man, and while he accepted the offer of a roof over his head for the night, he found himself asking how it was that the woman claimed that she was still a loving wife if she shared her bed with another man.

"Her answer was this: 'Why should sharing my bed with a man dishonor the memory of my husband? If I take his guard dog to bed with me, giving him a blanket to keep warm and the foot of my mattress to lie upon, does that mean I dishonor my husband? I am not a whore, I do not accept money or gifts for being with a man, and I am able to sustain myself, and my animals with what my sweat and blood grows from the ground. No barrier broken by my husband has ever been breached by any man save him. My mind has not been touched by any man save him, for when I am with another man, I think of him. Therefore, as I have not had intercourse with any other man, nor thought of another man lustfully, nor even touched a man, only shared with him the same pleasure he creates in me through the sounds of my voice, nor am I paid for giving my body up to the men who want only to learn how to satisfy a woman and seek nothing in me save a teacher, how am I dishonoring my husband?'

"The young man could find no way of answering, for he could not find a flaw in her logic, perhaps because of his age, and his lack of experience. Instead, he was merely curious, and asked her how it was possible to please a woman without intercourse. She smiled at him, and leaned down to his level, and kissed him in a way that his first love never had, and told him she would teach him.

"She was true to her promise, and a few nights later, his mind weighted by the things he had learned, he continued on his way, dwelling on one thought: she, like his first love, had told him that every woman had their own dislikes and likes when it came to being pleased, and that he needed to watch for the signs, for if his partner achieved that one moment of perfect happiness and release, then it was possible for him too, to achieve it just by being close to her, and from the sounds she made, without even having to spill his seed.

"He continued on, and every once in a while, it came about that he found himself in bed with a girl, and he stayed there with her to… simply _be_ with her, to teach her and himself as much about love as was possible, for his first love was right: each plant was different, and needed to be treated such, otherwise they would never be able to grow and bear fruit. Yet in that time, to avoid disgracing them by taking their virginity or touching them as only their dead husbands had –for never would he spend a night with a married woman in such a manner- and to keep true to the memories of his own love, never did he have intercourse with them, but pleased them in a manner showed to him by the widow. In this way, both their honor was left intact, and many of the girls scared to learn to love were able to come to grips with the terms that love was not all pain, and the widows learned again what it was like to be with a man.

"Then he met a girl that reminded him very much of the girl he had first learned to love. Because of what she was, and because he reminded her so much of the girl he had loved, for the first time in a long time, perhaps ever, he did not grope her, or ask her to bear his children, or attempt to woo her, he simply enjoyed watching her be herself. Then, as their paths joined together and they walked along together, he found she was totally different from the woman he loved: she was stronger, and had a temper to rival a demon's, she was not so good with words, but used her innocent looks to toy with his mind, she was every bit as thoughtful, but she didn't like it when she was grope, and constantly hit the poor, nearly innocent monk. And she was beautiful, and intelligent, and he pressed the groping, in an attempt that one day she might laugh at him and ask him if he was ever going to give it up, because this girl was sad, just as sad as the monk was.

"Then, one day, she did smile for him, and she began to open up for him, and by this time the monk found that he had fallen in love with her. When he was with her, he thought only about her. He was no longer concerned about the memory of his dead love, because she was dead, while this girl as alive and healthy, and because the monk knew that if she could ever love him back, and if their joined path could ever cross the peak constantly out of their reach, he was going to switch from his path to hers, and make sure that nothing ever came between them. So, one night, when he took her to bed with him, wanting to please her, the monk thought only of her, because from the moment that he had fallen in love with her, there was only her, and he only hoped that when she found out how he had come to learn how to please her, she wouldn't throttle him to a pulp or castrate him. He also hoped that she would be able to accept both that she was now his whole world, the first thought on his mind and the last thought before sleep, and that part of him would still treasure the memories created by the first woman he'd ever loved, because she helped make him into the man that now loved her."

Silence filled the room. I cringed, and chuckled. "The end?"

"Obviously that was the end," she griped. "Give me a second here. I'm thinking." She licked her lips, and was silent for what felt like an hour. "None of the women that have bragged about you ever actually used terms like 'sex' or 'intercourse' or anything, so when you said that you took measures to keep the women that refused to bear your child from getting pregnant, that was what you were talking about, weren't you? Doing the things like what you did to me… to them."

I nodded, and felt sad, though I wondered why. Was it the tone of her voice that saddened me, or did I just feel her sadness leaking into me, born from the story I had just told her? I didn't say anything, I just answered her questions with as few words and as much honesty as I could, allowing Sango to feel what she would from my past. I couldn't very well make her understand, or make her accept, she had to be willing to do that.

Much to my surprise, she leaned back to smile at me; it was such a brilliant smile, that I knew she couldn't be all mad with me. Her fingertips traced the features of my face. "From what _I_ felt last night, your reputation certainly is warranted. That doesn't mean I'm not a little bit angry at you. I trust you, Hou… Miroku, but you have such a good grasp on words to sway people, and the fact that right now I want nothing more than to hold you, and kiss you, makes me wonder if you told it to me in such a way because there's something there that I should be seeing, but I'm not. I'm not mad at you because of what you said, more like a bit miffed at why you said it the way you did." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Or why this didn't come up before when we talked about sex."

She continued with a sigh. "I'm… relieved, that you've only had sex with one other person… because, _if_… _when_ we have sex, as I promised to give you children, you won't be comparing me to other people. But at the same time, when you do things like what we did last night, how do I know that you won't be comparing me to other people like that? I'm also just a little bit sad, because I was kind of hoping that some part of you was lying about your conquests, that it was some other monk your age with the same name… that way, we could have figured things our for ourselves."

I leaned down and kissed her, the soul inside of me swelling, and proud of her that she had placed all her emotions like that one the table for me, that way I could disperse them for her. I was more than glad to see that she really did trust me, despite all my groping. To bear her heart and mind in such a manner… Yes, I knew that she trusted me before this, but with things like what happened last night, it can be written off as simply being spring fever. Which would mean that when spring did arrive again, I was going to have the time of my life!

The thought made my desire to kiss and hold her even more unbearable. I rolled, pulling her unto my stomach as I rolled on my back, my lips crushing hers. Sango, responded, my touch softening until it became the butterfly-soft kisses that she loved, and her mouth opened up over mine, my tongue licking and tasting her slowly, until a moan tickled it. My cursed hand moved down her back slowly, my mouth keeping her entertained as my hand came to rest on the curves that had so often gotten me struck. Once there, it did nothing more, and my lips slowly peeled away from hers so I could speak.

"Sango, I told you my story in such a manner because otherwise," I paused when she wiggled against my body, moving into a comfortable position and she almost sacked me. Her cheek rested on my chest, listening to my heart and breath, and the hand that had been contemplating simply rubbing the muscle of her ass was now on the small of her back, her derriere just out of reach. "I told you it like that because I didn't think you would believe me if I simply came out and said it. After the way I act, thanks to groping you, and the things you seem to have heard in the bath houses, if I told you I'd only have actually had sexual intercourse with one person, that you would think I was a liar. So, I had to tell it to you like this so that you knew everything, and for you to come to that conclusion by yourself. After all, you're intelligent enough to understand what I was implying.

"It never came up before because I didn't think that I had your trust. No, I'm not saying that I needed for you to get on the table before I knew that you trusted me." I cracked a perverted grin. "Merely that to say so sooner, even to tell you the story sooner, you might have thought that I was telling you it simply to gain your favor, rather than me already being in your favor and telling it to you because I want to be honest with you. Besides, I like being the pervert in your life. It's such an interesting position.

"I can't do anything about you being sad, except perhaps to try and make you smile, but that won't actually fix the problem. Besides, I had sex once, _years_ ago. Just because you have sex once doesn't mean that you know everything, so we can still learn together." I nearly choked, thinking of Sango actually willing to have sex with me. Obviously, I should have realized earlier, she would be willing since she had agreed to bear me a child, but I hadn't really realized it until that moment. I was going to have sex with Sango.

Sex. Sango. Me. Can I make it any more clearer?

"As for comparing… Sango," I said her name gently, trying not to sound chastising, or amused at her concerns. Concerns were nothing to laugh about. Had our positions been reversed, I would have felt the same way. "Sango, do you think that I would ever compare you to someone else?"

She poked me, a little harshly. "You already did, Miroku. You said that I reminded you of that girl that you first loved. I'm not trying to say that I don't like her, or the fact that you remember her, I just always thought that when you met me, you liked me for being me."

Wincing, I thought. "Well, Sango, don't forget the first time I met you, you were trying to kill one of my friends. I respected you, and I admired you, but just because you reminded me of something doesn't mean that that's why I liked you. I do like you for being you: I like you for being strong, and stubborn, and for putting up with me for so long, and your intelligence, and how fun it is to tease Inuyasha and Kagome with you, or watching you play with Shippo and dreaming that you're playing with our children. It just happens to be that many of those qualities are some shared by Hikaru. I'm not comparing you, or merging you with her, or anything, because you're Sango. You are yourself. I'm merely attracted to girls who are perseverant, and smart, and strong, and of course, very beautiful."

I felt her blush through my robe, and I sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Sango, I can never compare you to someone else critically. Seeing similarities in personality, that's not comparing, it's just observing. I can't explain why, just maybe, by saying that every woman is different, and because you are who and what you are, that's why I love you. So really, anything you did…."

"But in sex!" she protested. She lifted her head and looked at me, her brown eyes truly concerned. "Miroku, you know that there have been men in my life, and I know what you're saying, but I can't understand it when it comes to things like _sex_! How do you know that I won't sigh differently than some other woman, and you'll wonder why? Or if I don't satisfy you enough, or…."

I gripped her shoulders and pulled her up slightly, kissing her gently, and smiling at her. "Every woman sounds different, Sango. Remember? It's true. Like plants, every woman is different, and so is every man. I'll never wonder why you sound different or anything, Sango, because that's just how you sound. As for satisfaction… Sango, you just don't know what you do to me, do you?"

She saw that I really did want her to answer, and she shook her head no. I smiled at her. "Sango," I felt my face start to burn. I didn't know where to start, and part of me wished to feel her, to demonstrate with her what she did to me. Somehow, I was able to keep control of myself. "Sango… just, all the little things you do when we're alone, from the physical and the way you rub up against me when we cuddle, to the way that you manipulate me, keeping control of the situation while you still make me feel like I'm the strongest man in the world and the way you stroke my pride, reassuring me… they're… really quite arousing."

Damn, were they! Just thinking about them… down boy, down!

"Then, I touch you, and the way you feel, they way you lean against me when you sigh, your smell, the way you say my name and tell me what pleases you without ever losing your own sense of power or appearing demanding, and I… I want to feel you more, to hear more, to please you more and just… grab on to everything I make you feel and lose myself. So I do. Which is why I can please you, and not take anything myself, because just watching you, hearing you, is enough to make me highly aroused, and then you say my name, and it pushes me over the edge."

"But last night…" she protested.

I knew what she was referring about, and I felt my cheeks darken a bit more. "Ah, last night. A truly wonderful night. Sango, listening to you sigh and moan, lifting my head and watching you, wondering how your knuckles could be white from gripping the table, knowing you were in the midst of pleasure, yes, I had an erection. And then I…." I tried to think of how to phrase it without making it sound… perverted? "Then I had to take care of it, while I continued to watch you and listen to you."

As Sango was trying to put this together in her mind, someone knocked at the door. The blind securely latched, the knocker couldn't open the door, and was resorted to whining. "Miroku! I can't find Sango anywhere!"

Sango bolted up, messing our bed and once again, nearly hitting me in a very private place. She clasped the top of her robe tightly shut, her brown eyes wide with fear. I was a little hurt. So she wanted to spend the night with me, wanted to be honest with each other, but we share a bed for the night, and she gets concerned?

This wouldn't do. I pulled her back down on the bed, and told her to stay in a steady voice. "Sango's in here with me, Shippo." I heard Sango hiss 'what are you doing' and I kissed her forehead. "Sango, why shouldn't Shippo know you were here for the night? We didn't have sex. We're also two adults, and as far as he needs to know, all we did was sleep."

She sighed, and knew what had made me become irate. "Miroku… that may be true, but he's also a demon and might be able to smell what went on, as well, how are we going to describe that?" she asked softly, pointing at the path of clothes that led up to the table. I hadn't thought of clothes.

"Shippo," I called out, "we'll be out in a second!" I looked back at Sango. "How quickly can you get dressed?"

She was already binding down her breasts, and she glared at me softly. "I've had to put up with you trying to peak at Kagome and I for how long?" She was already pulling on her pants when she looked back up at me and found me on my hands and knees, looking for something on the floor. "Miroku… what are you doing?"

"….Where'd you throw my hair elastic?"

"…"

-

The four of us –myself, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara… in order of tallest to shortest- stared at the door of the bath house in the village. Sango's cheeks were a lovely shade of pink. Who would have guessed it was a co-ed bath house? I frowned, and then the silliness inside of me that counter-balanced the weight of the kazaana stepped up to play. "Well," I sighed dramatically. "I guess I'll go in first and make sure that there aren't any naked males to ruin those eyes of yours, Sango."

I actually managed to get one foot off of the ground before she latched her hands around my upper arm and pulled my back in line. "And if there happen to be any beautiful, naked women in there that you feel overcome to grope and get us kicked back up to the mountains? I don't think so!" We stared at each other a second, and then together…

"Kirara?"

The cat meowed and trotted into the bath house. I second later, she meowed and then retreated back inside. I know this sounds odd, but I swear that Kirara said 'coast clear'. Which is ridiculous, of course, because cats can't talk. But, could a demon cat talk? Sango certainly believed that, so then, why was I starting to understand Kirara and her speech?

I grinned. "Well, you three enjoy your bath. Maybe I'll go and talk to our friendly inn keeper, find out if there's anything interesting going on or… what?" I asked suspiciously when Sango stared at me.

She arched an eyebrow, but I could feel the sense of pride in her gaze. "You're not even going to attempt to try and talk your way into the bath house, are you? You're just going to go and let me go in there, without any acts of perversion or anything? Not even going to try and ask me if maybe I might want you to join me, or at least keep an eye out for any male strangers that might decide to bathe at this time?"

I knew that she would never actually want me to join her bathing, but part of me wondered at the last question in her speech. Shippo was allowed to bathe with Sango because he was an eight year old demon, but neither Inuyasha nor I were allowed to bathe with them. I had always thought this was feminine modesty on Kagome's part –perhaps co-ed baths were non existent in her time- and an aversion to my perversion on Sango's part. Perhaps it was merely modesty on both their parts. Sango had always had a thing against the scars on her body, and in the bath, they would have been plainly visible.

Thinking of this a moment longer, I wondered how she had been so willing to undress for me last night. Had it simply been something in the air, perhaps a need to feel someone touching her body becoming too much, that had made Sango come to me last night? "Sango," I said. "Last night, if you are so nervous about… opening yourself up to be being known, then after I told you what I wanted to do with you last night, why did you do it?"

Shippo looked between us, his fox tail wavering. "What happened? You told me that you two only shared the same bed room because you didn't want to wake me up! So how come you two smell like each other? Oh, right, the sparring. So what did you tell her that you wanted to do, Miroku?"

"Read her hand," I quickly answered, my eyes locked on Sango.

She held her chin up proudly. "I… allowed you to read my hand because you said you liked it. It makes my hand feel…." Unable to complete the sentence without the kitsune asking more questions, she lowered her gaze, and mouthed the word 'pretty'. She smiled at me, following my train of thought without me needing to give her a starting point. "Maybe one day, if you're lucky, Miroku. To me, bathing is a private matter. But maybe one day. After all, someone has to remind you to wash behind your ears." Sango pouted, looking adorable. "Please, just maybe wait out here and knock on the wall or something if anybody… ah, that is to say any males, are going to come and bathe so that I can get dressed?"

I nodded. "Of course I'll protect your innocence for you, Sango, if only so that I can steal it myself."

It still surprised me that she was now starting to warm up to my advances. It had only taken her how long since our so-called 'battle' started? She laughed, but because Shippo was there, she still made a mockery of slapping my cheek, her palm hurtling towards me, but then playing her hand against my cheek gently, her fingertips just barely touching my hair. "Pervert," she said simply, but there was a richness in her voice that made me think that this time, she wasn't being quite so condescending.

So, I found myself sitting outside the bathhouse, trying to do a bit of meditation, to keep an eye out for any males so as to warn Sango. However, nobody even approached the bathhouse until Sango was coming out of the room, smelling wonderful, her skin a pink tone from the heat of the water, rather than from my advances for once. Another girl was walking in as she was leaving.

"Thank you very much, Miroku-sama," she said. The other girl suddenly stopped, and turned around, budding in front of Sango and Shippo to peer at me.

"Ah," I said, finding a cute face of a girl about the age of sixteen staring down at me. Did this girl not understand the concept of personal space, or something? Heh. Then again, look at who was talking! "May I help you?"

The girl licked her lips. "Miroku-kun?"

The four of us froze, even Kirara not twitching a single hair on her ears. The only person that was certainly still breathing was the girl leaning down in front of me. The only reason why I was able to see that she was breathing because of the view of her chest, now at my eye level.

Sango opened her mouth to speak, but the girl beat her to it, pressing her palm against my forehead. "Miroku-kun, are you all right? You're not ill, are you? You look so pale? Haven't you eaten yet today?"

"Uh… no, I haven't eaten since…." Oh, to say it or not to say it! If I said it, I would get hit sooner or later, and not to say it would prove that I might just have the maturity of a normal man my age, but to flirt with Sango and try to let her know that I, like her, had no idea what was going on… yet to do so in such a risky manner was to risk the blood vesicles in my face from the wrath of Sango's palm! She hadn't actually hit me in a long time, but did I want to continue to press my luck? No, be a gentleman. "I haven't eaten since supper last night, lady…."

She pouted. "Don't you recognize me, Miroku-kun? I admit that with your hair down, and without that silly smile you wear, and now that you're a little bit older I didn't recognize you either, but now I do! You're my perverted monk, that's for certain! It's me! Yuzuriha-chan!"

I couldn't place her name to anything, and suddenly, her hands were cupping my chin and she was pulling my face towards hers, although I was still looking at Sango. Her breath was sweet, and she did smell good. "I missed you, _iinazuke_."

'What the hell….' I didn't get to finish my thought when her lips tenderly touched mine, and she guided me gently back against the wall, sliding into my lap. My eyes stayed locked on Sango, watching flashes of jealousy, betrayal, and pain in general flash across her face. Even Kirara and Shippo looked hurt, and ready to kill me. Trying to hold on to the girl on the lap to make sure that she didn't move any deeper into my lap, as I wasn't wearing much underneath the white bath robe I wore, I couldn't reach out to them, and with her lips covering mine, her tiny hands holding my face in place, I was unable to call out.

I do believe this is one of those moments before Kagome would yell 'sit' and Inuyasha would simply say one word. Fuck.

* * *

AN: (continued!) So, I'm sure someone out there is saying: 'Ah! No! Miroku is this insert virgin or whore here!' I know. There are two sides to every Miroku story: either is or isn't a virgin, there's never any middle view. This is why I tried to do? Why? Because it's not so damn clichéd!

Alright, so yes, there are some parts I couldn't iron out all the way, I just wanted to present something new, and by doing so, I rather created an idea of him I liked. Miroku has now had experience and the "bathhouse stories" are explained. I mean, that idea never made sense to me: if Miroku was such a nice guy and someone said that they wouldn't bear his child, why would Miroku sleep with them afterwards knowing that there was a chance that he could impregnate them?

My answer: he slept with them, he didn't have intercourse with them. The idea of Miroku sleeping around, in all honesty, bothered me, because it didn't seem like something he would do if he really respected women, which, besides groping them, he does. So there had to be some middle ground.

I just hope I managed to get that middle ground across.

Thank you and rr, and let me know what you think on this new spin on Miroku's past!


	19. Marriage

Dressing Wounds

AN: You can kind of tell at one point in this chapter I started listening to Moulin Rouge. So, pardon the tiny cliché. I think that there's something in the music that brainwashes you. Then again, at least it's a good message, if highly overused. Anyway, I just realized that I can't draw this story out any longer. I only have a few chapters left to post, but some of them are actually giving me a little trouble. So if anyone sees any plot holes forming, please, let me know. I would really prefer for this to be a plot-hold free story. (And by a few I really mean 7.)

And yes, I know, I watched a lot of 'X' recently, hence the Yuzuriha and Inuki characters.

There were a lot of comments about the appearance of Yuzuriha, so allow me to tackle that now: having not seen many episodes (believe it or not!) and not even owning a manga where Sango comes in (I'm working on it, but there's a reason I live off of KD.) I had been reading episode synopses, and came across episode 161. Well, somehow I felt that we really did need to put something in here about the women Miroku has encountered, and really, this argument is mostly for me. (Oddly enough, I just watched episode 161 the other day… man! The producers and I have totally different opinions on what Sango thinks like!)

These are REAL women in this world, but Sango doesn't know any of them. All of a sudden, one shows up and starts snuggling with her man, and she has to content with it. All of a sudden these women aren't nameless, they have names, and faces, and some of them might even love Miroku.

Wouldn't you?

But, Sango deals with that, and I shouldn't steal her thunder.

Aamalie: Now that's not very good language! Besides, I though I had included that in my description of what had happened. His hands were busy. You know, holding clothes and soap, and she just kind of slid into his lap, so he automatically grabbed on to her in some way that way she couldn't fall over. But everything will be good.

May: Actually love, yes, I am in university. And what writing around the hassles of life? This baby is one year almost in the making. And the answer is three fold: I don't need sleep, I write in class out of boredom (I need to keep my hand moving) and I have been able to live off of fluff, so I don't need to eat. And actually, you are quite right. Sometimes, one step back equals two steps forward. As already stated: Yuzuriha's appearance is only meant to mimic the actual show, not other fan fics, as hopefully my insanity made my version of events completely different.

Furi Iku: Don't flatter me about my updates, love. -- Eventually they will slow down. Sad to say… I need to write more, but I'm almost a month behind in some of my readings for school (not my fault: they ran out of textbooks!) and I need to get to writing some original works. To bad my muse refuses to lend me some inspiration for anything other than MS fan fics for the moment.

Black Element: depending on my workload and my sugar intake, it could have taken me a week to an hour to write that last chapter.

Liz: You know, as I am in school trying to become a teacher, I don't think you want to be telling me that you're readings fics in class.

Starzki and pinkaura: I agree. Having a middle type of ground is difficult, and probably really impossible. However, I just wanted to suggest something new, and mainly to work out a theory or my own. I don't think that Miroku was a virgin, though I don't have any real proof, but at the same time, I don't think that he would actually ask people to bear his children and sleep with them anyway, so on some level, the idea was for my own amusement.

Thank you to everyone else who cared enough to drop me a line! This AN is already getting too long, and I kind of need to go and do homework. (Ew.) So, enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen: Marriages

Sango stood with her arms crossed across her chest, leaning on the wall, practically drilling holes in the back of our heads. 'Our' refers to mine, and Yuzuriha's, the girl that was attached to my arm, her head on my shoulder as she latched on to me possessively. "Run that by me again," she said curtly to the village elder.

The old man didn't seem to notice her stinging tone, and he repeated what he had just said. "Several years ago, Miroku-sama passed through our village, and asked my daughter to bear his child. She agreed, but because of his quest looking for the baboon-skinned man, he could not dally. So, instead he promised that the next time he came through the village he would be well, and he would marry my daughter."

"But I have never passed through this village," I said, wincing when Yuzuriha rubbed her head against my _kesa_. How could I possibly add on to my statement that for the life of me I couldn't remember anything at all about this girl? I told Sango that I remembered something about every girl I had ever slept with, and that was true, but how was I supposed to remember every girl I ever asked to bear my child?

"We didn't always live here. We used to live far on the other side of the mountains. But then my wife started to take ill, and we came to live her. The mountains give us a little bit more heat throughout the whole year, and the vast amounts of hot springs from the volcanism is good for her constitution. Although you have not yet healed your hand, Miroku-sama, I ask that you complete your promise and marry my daughter. There is an evil demon who has claimed Yuzuriha for his bride, and if you do not wed her, to save the village I will have no choice but to wed her to that… hideous beast." He stared at me, his old eyes hopeful, and oblivious to how uncomfortable I was with the girl clinging to me. "You made a claim on my daughter first, Miroku-sama. She is yours for the taking, if you will have her."

My demon slayer companion bristled in anger at hearing the position of Yuzuriha put so… how to phrase it? Sango hated hearing the girl being spoken about as if she were a limited commodity that was sold off to whosoever was the first to put a down payment on her. Though, sadly, that is often the way the world works. My arm captured by Yuzuriha, I could not calm Sango down. Luckily, Kirara wound her way around and between Sango's feet, demanding attention. Sango picked her up and stroked her, the touch of her friend and softness of Kirara's fur calming her down.

Moving forward slightly, Shippo grew bold with curiosity and leapt up to my free shoulder. "If you don't want Yuzuriha-chan to marry this demon, sir, why not just go and kill it?"

The old man shook his head. "He's too strong for us to kill," he said. "He's the one that sent the blizzard that tried to keep you from crossing the mountains. Any man that tried to get up the mountain to slay him would find themselves frozen solid before they got halfway there."

There was the sound of moving armor as Sango stopped leaning. Her voice wasn't rude any more; just clear and determined. "You're forgetting, elder, that I am a demon slayer. I can take this demon down, if you tell me more about him and where to find him."

"But we won't have any money to pay you!" protested the elder.

Sango shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I don't need to get paid. Your people were kind enough to give us rooms until our companions rejoin us, all for a few stories from Houshi-sama." I cringed at the name. She was really pissed at me; and I couldn't blame her! "The least we can do in return for your understanding and kindness is to help protect your village while we're here."

The kitsune on my shoulder grinned. "So, then Miroku doesn't have to marry!"

'Well, obviously….' I patted his head none the less.

Yuzuriha lifted her head, her nails digging into my arm, making me wince. She didn't say anything, she merely looked pale, and scared. Was she afraid of losing me, or of being alone? What was it that caused her to look so frightened?

Her father frowned. "This is true. However, he did promise us that he would return, and that he would marry her when he did return. I could have married her off to one of the young men in the village… that Inuki is a nice boy, and his father did offer much for Yuzuriha, but I always said no because you had promised to return, Miroku-sama. You cannot expect me to declare your proposal null and void when my daughter is already _sixteen_, do you?"

"There is nothing that says that a woman has to be married by sixteen, sempai," Sango said sternly, despite the proper terms she used in her speech. "I'm eighteen now, and I'm not married. If this Inuki person was so eager to wed your daughter, perhaps he did it because he liked her, rather than because he was at the proper age to wed." She paused and stared out the window with a frown, debating with herself.

When she had won –or maybe lost- her own argument, she looked back at the old man. "Besides, Miroku has asked many women to bear his child, myself included. And many women have accepted his offer… myself included."

Shippo was the one who reacted first. He leapt straight at Sango, staring up at her with his big green eyes. "Really, Sango? When did you do that? When are you going to bear his child? Did you want a guy or a girl? When they're born, can I hold them? Can I be its godfather? I want a kid that can share all my sugar with me, and in no time at all, he'll be my age and we can have fun bugging Inuyasha together!"

Despite herself, Sango smiled down at the kitsune. She had been smiling and laughing more openly over time, now that she learned smiling while being in pain deep down wouldn't kill her, but this was the first smile that she had given a smile since Yuzuriha had called me her fiancé. "Shippo….."

The old man interrupted. "This is not a problem. Whomever he weds first can be his first wife, the second his second, and so on. As long as Yuzuriha is married, it won't be a problem at all."

"You know, sempai, there _are_ some people who don't agree with that."

For a moment, the man seemed to agree with her, nodding and stroking his chin. Then he spoke and it all went to crap again. "True, yes. I myself only have one wife, but as long as Miroku-sama can support the wives and the children they promised him, it should all be very well."

I watched as Sango moved closer, going in for the kill. "There is, of course, one other thing that wrong with this weeding you've arranged, sempai. Houshi-sama is exactly that: a monk. He left to heal himself, to allow himself to complete the circle of life we all are meant to so that he can try and achieve enlightenment, for he can't do so if his hand kills him within the next two years. That's right, sempai, if your daughter marries Miroku and he doesn't break the curse, in three or four years, you'll have to marry her again, won't you? Of course by then, she won't be a virgin, and she'll probably have a child as well. What man would want 'ruined goods' and 'baggage'?"

Yuzuriha's head fell as Sango blurted all this out, and even I was shocked. She made only one further last attempt. "I truly doubt that you remember what Miroku really promised, sempai. The liar is often good with words, manipulating everyone he meets. Did he say that he would _marry_ her, or that he would take her up on her acceptance when he next stormed through? Because, of course, there is one other thing that you've forgotten to take into account: monks don't marry. Not unless they leave the monastery. So Miroku could marry your daughter, but how would he support her? And does he care enough about her to leave the monastery for her?"

Sango turned, the room silent behind her. "I'm going to go get equipment ready to find this demon of which you spoke. Shippo, you stay here. You don't need to be subjected to the cold again. Oh, and get a bucket of cold ocean water for Miroku if any trouble pops up. Kirara and I can do this on our own."

The room was still silent after she left.

-

I was trying to find Sango, mad at both of us. How could she blurt out everything like that? Where had she gotten some of those ideas from? I found her in the storm room, digging through fur-coated armor, trying to find something warm and light. I placed my hands on my hips and stood in the doorway. "Sango."

Her eyes were red when she turned to look at me. She was mad, but… had she been crying as well? She went back to digging through the armor. I said her name again, and moved closer to her. I wanted to ask her about what she had said, tell her… tell her _something_ even though I didn't know what was going on either. I sat down beside her, and managed to smile softly. "Is there anything warm in there that would fit me? I hope you realize that I'm coming with you."

She whipped her head around and glared at me. "Don't you think that Kirara and I can do it ourselves? It's just a snow demon…."

"Just a snow demon that can control snow in which you will be wadding. Yes, I think you can kill it, but I want to come with you." I closed my eyes, before I grabbed her hand desperately. "Please, Sango, let me come with you and get me the hell out of this village! I can't even go to relieve myself without having Yuzuriha hanging on to me!"

"What's the matter, Miroku? Getting a taste of a married life and not enjoying it?"

I stared at her, slowly going from surprised to frustrated. "You know, sometimes you can be a real bitch, Sango. What was all that stuff you said back there? Were you momentarily possessed or something? You've never even asked me about my religion, about where I stood, always calling me a monk and then reminding me that I shouldn't be eating meat, or doing this or that! I was raised as a monk, Sango, I _know_ what I am or what I am not supposed to do already!"

She threw a fur wrap at me as hard as she possibly could. "You don't even know why I'm angry, do you? Houshi, someone just came up to you and called you her fiancé and kissed you right in front of me, and you want to know why I'm mad, _why_ I'm losing my temper, _why_ I want to just be alone and go and _kill_ something?" She laughed into her hand, staring down at the ground, but it was a dry and pained sound. "If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you. You've never denied being smart, Houshi, so figure it out for yourself. Maybe by that time, I'll have calmed down enough to be civil with you."

Grabbing what she had set aside for herself, she left, passing by a young man without a double look. I stared at the young man in the doorway. Besides Sesshomaru, he was probably the prettiest man that I'd ever seen. His eyes were golden, even in the dim light of the storage locker, and his hair was platinum silver, not quite as white as Inuyasha's. Still, with his pale skin and the power emanating from him, I didn't have to use any kind of power to tell that he was a full demon.

"You must in Inuki," I said, my hand on my staff as I sat back up, just in case he turned out to be a fighter. Trying not to appear challenging, I merely leaned on it, using it as a crutch.

"You must be Miroku." His tone was somewhere between Sesshomaru's superior one, and Inuyasha's gruff one. How had we not sensed the presence of this demon when we first arrived in town? His golden eyes narrowed at me. "So, you're the one Yuzuriha is supposed to marry."

"And you're the one who wants to marry her. Is she aware that you're a full demon?" I casually asked.

"She is," he said, his tone suddenly turning respectful. "Most people aren't aware of my father and me. We live closer towards the pass, within the range of the snow demon to try and mask our own auras. The snow demon lets us stay there because we only eat raw flesh, and by the time we do our hunting, he's usually frozen it solid. He finds our attempts to hunt in his mountain range as amusing. Besides, there are two of us and one of him, so technically, he's staying in our lands."

The young man suddenly sighed and moved further into the room. "Miroku-sama, it's all my fault that this demon wants to marry Yuzuriha. He knows I have an interest in her and because of the quarrels between us, he wants to marry her to spite me. I don't want to see her wedded to another demon. If she were, the qualities in her that make me love her would be worn down by his spite and his harshness and his cold heart. He could never love her, never make her happy. At least if she were to marry you, she would be marrying one of her own kind, she wouldn't have to worry that her child might be an outcast. If worse comes to worse, I want her to marry you, but until then, I am here to help you, to find a way so that all of us can get what we want. However, if you want Yuzuriha…."

For a moment he thought that he was going to challenge me, but instead he shook his head. "I can't promise her everything you can, so in the end, I want the choice to be up to Yuzuriha if you still wish to pursue her. She will have to choose between security and love. I…."

By now I was close enough so that I could put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, Inuki-sama," I said, knowing this young man, though appearing my own age, was older than even Inuyasha. "I do not want to marry Yuzuriha, and I truly doubt that she wants to marry me. There is… someone else, for me, and Yuzuriha is simply being a good daughter, doing what her father wants. It's the father that is our problem. We'll find a way to work this out ourselves, but have you never thought of claiming her in the demon manner?"

"But she's human," he said. "I mean, I have, but then everyone would know. We want to do things properly, so we thought to get married first, and then to move away. Once we moved away, then I could mark her and any human who asked about it could be told it was merely a scar, perhaps something a wild animal gave her when she was younger."

I nodded. "That is a well-thought out plan." Apparently my praise was worth something because Inuki blushed. "However, there is one problem. My companion has already promised to take care of the snow demon. If she does so, then you and your father will no longer have a mask to hide under, will it not?"

His jaw dropped and he slowly replied yes. Growing quiet, he thought about what else this would mean. "Then Yuzuriha would be free to marry whom she wants."

"Minus the wishes of her father, of course. Yes, that was the idea. However, if it places you and your family in danger…."

"No. My father has wanted to move on for a long time. People don't notice the fact that I haven't been aging at all because male bodies don't change that much once puberty is finished. However, they will notice with him. He needed to move on anyway. So her killing the snow demon won't really matter. I take it that this companion of yours is the 'someone else' that you referred to a moment ago?"

I laughed nervously. "My, having a long life certainly does make demons astute. Yes, but there's something else too. She's a demon slayer, and one in a very bad mood. She also is a very _gorgeous_ demon slayer, and so, if your father were out hunting or their paths crossed…." I let the thought trail off, and he immediately understood.

Gesturing to the fur robe that Sango had thrown at me, he told me to take it with me. "She cannot have gotten that far ahead."

I was already throwing it on. "Her companion is a cat demon. With only one passenger and without the storm blowing in their faces, or any heavy equipment, it is entirely possible that they can make it to the top of the mountain in no more than half a day. Besides, I had to try and untangle myself from Yuzuriha first, so Sango has had lots of time to prepare."

"Yuzuriha is avoiding me," he admitted. "Or perhaps she feared that I would start a fight with you. Either way, she is not that… possessive with anyone other than me. She only wants to protect you, I think, from me." He grinned, revealing his sharp fangs.

"Do I have a reason to fear you?" Inuki shook his head no. "I didn't think so. Are you going to be warm enough? It's a long climb up the mountain. I fear we have to travel together, otherwise she might attack you as well. Normally, Sango is quite logical, but now she's… scary. You see, this whole affair affects her as well, and on top of that, she's mad at the way Yuzuriha's father treats her as if she didn't have a heart or a mind of her own. In fact, he treats the children she might have the same way, and even suggested that Sango might become my second wife. She would normally pound somebody when she gets this mad, more often than not me as I then try to grope her, but… I don't even think that she has the ability to punch me right now."

"Under her skin, hm?"

"Precisely. What disturbs me even more is that she refuses to tell me why!"

"Oh. One of those: 'if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you' fights."

"You seem to know a lot about women."

"I've been chasing them –ah, in a not for food manner- since before you were probably born, Miroku-sama."

I arched an eyebrow, and grinned at him as I stepped out the door. "I don't suppose you would want to give a man a few hints, would you?"

-

"You know," I yelled over the wind, "when you agreed that we had to keep up, this wasn't exactly what I meant!" I was being carried Kagome-style, and Inuki was leaping from tree branch to tree branch, throwing off snow everywhere. He was following the scent of the snow-demon, the same trail that we hoped Kirara would be using to track him down.

Inuki slowed down, setting me down in the snow. I wished I had grabbed some boots when I sank down to my shins in cold snow. I had just gotten my toes warm, too! "I smell blood," he said in a snarly voice. Before I could ask if he identified the scent, he elaborated. "It's his. From over there, in that cave."

"Stay here," I told him, starting to make my way through the snow. I tried to make an attempt at a joke. "She probably killed him already. If I don't come out in an hour and she does, it was nice knowing you."

Cautiously, I went into the cave. It was dark, like most caves, but the light was reflected from outside by crystal shafts in the floor and ceiling. I dare not call out, in case the battle was still going on, but I didn't hear anything. As I drew closer to the large space at the end of the crystal tunnel, I heard the sounds of sniffling. I rushed forward, fearing Sango or Kirara injured.

I was met with the snarl of a very large, very angry cat. Kirara stopped me from entering, but I could see Sango sitting on a rock, cleaning her weapons. She quickly dried her cheeks, but I knew this time, that she had been crying. "No," she said softly. "It's all right, Kirara. You can let him in."

'Him'. Not even 'monk' now, just 'him'. Kirara moved and I entered, ignoring the two portions of the snow youkai that were slowly melting into water. I stood in front of her, and then knelt down on one knee to look up at her. I dared not touch her. "Sango, we need to talk."

"Obviously," she muttered in a whisper. She continued cleaning the haraikotsu, and I wanted to take it from her, if only to have her whole attention and because I feared she was going to use it on me.

"Can we talk alone?"

She looked up at me, her bloodshot eyes looking slow, still cloudy with pain, and she slowly turned to Kirara. "I'll be fine, Kirara. You can leave. Besides, if he tries anything, I won't speak to him again, and he wouldn't risk that because then it would affect the whole group."

As the large cat turned to leave, I added, "Oh, don't attack the demon outside, please. He's the one who was kind enough to help me find you." I looked back up to Sango and quickly explained. "It turns out there are two dog-youkai here as well. We couldn't sense them because they hide themselves under the aura of the snow demon, somehow. We feared that you might encounter the father and you two might accidentally hurt each other. It turns out that Yuzuriha's Inuki is a dog demon. She knows, and wants to marry him. She even has him trained enough that he wants to do it the human way first, that way it won't look suspicious when they move away and he can mate with her demon style, where no one can ask her about the mating mark. She thought he was going to fight me for her hand, which is why she always kept by me, to stop him if he tried. I didn't like it when she was clinging to me, you know."

Sango still hadn't looked at me. She kept her eyes locked on the large weapon on her lap. She very slowly slid her eyes up to mine now. Her mouth was set into a stubborn line, and her eyes were snapping with ferocity. If I didn't watch my step, she was going bite off my head. "I'm well aware of it."

I slowly reached out, noticing that she had taken a pause in her cleaning. My hand covered hers for a moment, and she flinched. I snapped my hand back, saddened at her response to my touch. "Then why are you still mad with me, Sango?"

She opened her mouth and I lifted my head slightly, feeling the frustration turn to anger in my heart. "No!" I actually yelled it, not only covering any reply she made, but startling the rest into silence. "Don't even _think_ about telling me that you're not going to tell me because I can't figure it out. If anybody deserves to be mad here, it's me, Sango! You don't even give me enough courtesy to explain myself, and instead you go leaping to conclusions and start telling at people things that you've never even spoken to me about! Then you get mad at me for trying to talk to you and figure out why you're acting so cruel! So just tell me what it is, because this is _not_ jealousy, Sango. I…."

"Fine." She stood up, the softness of the word shutting me up. Sango drew on her now spotless weapon, and then she glared at me, but it was a look without menace. "You're right. You do have a right to know. It's because it was stupid of me to ever think that this would work out. It was a nice dream, Mi… Houshi-sama. I could deal with a lot, like the fact that part of you would always love the first girl you ever kissed because she was your first, at everything. I thought I could deal with the fact that there were women in your life before me, and you know what? I could accept that, until they started showing up. No, I know that you never agreed to marry her, but the fact still remains that I thought of these people as ghosts, and then I remembered suddenly, that they are real, live, flesh and blood _people_. Some of them might even have fallen in love with you, Miroku.

"We deal with so much already, how many times in our lifetimes will we have to deal with a woman coming up to you and wondering when she'll get to experience the rumor, or a father who claimed you took his daughter's virginity and now you have to marry her? How many women out there are still waiting for you to take them up on their acceptance to bear your children, and how many parents are there who are actually stupid enough to think that 'will you bear my children' is a marriage proposal?"

"That doesn't explain why you were heartless to people, people you seem to be claiming that you care about!"  
Her expression softened for a moment as she looked down at me. Then it hardened again, and this time, she was beginning to look like herself. "Yes it does, you stupid monk…."

"Will you stop calling me that?" I roared, bolting up. "Sango, why do you think that it bothers me so much when you call me that?"

"Because you have a proper name and I should use it rather than calling you by your title?" she quickly retorted.

I was taken aback for a second. "Well, yes, but there's also the fact that it's always true, what you guys tease me about. Once, you called me a rogue monk, and it's true, Sango. Look at what I do, look at _everything_ I do. I am not just a bad monk, I'm a _horrible_ one! I eat meat, I don't meditate as much as I should, I chase women, I drink, I fool around with women, and I left the monastery for revenge. I'm no monk, yet you insist of calling me that as if it were my name."

She was quiet, and then she slowly shook her head, her shoulders shaking, and I didn't know if she was laughing or crying. "I know that, Miroku. I just hoped that one day, you might want to go back, because you would be a good monk, you're just a better man more. So I always called you 'monk', hoping to keep you away from me that way I wouldn't be hurt if you went back to the monastic life." Sango lifted her head, and tears clung to her eyelashes. The time, I reached out to cup her face and she didn't flinch, instead leaning into my palm. She didn't even care that it was my right hand, that the beads wrapped around her were hard, or that the hand pressed against her might one day kill me. "You just never figured out why I did it…"

"Why then, if you knew all along that I was no longer….."

"Not 'all along'," she softly corrected. "Just from the time when I began to understand your character."

"Then why did you insist on calling me that?" I asked her softly, drawing her a bit closer to my body, close enough that I could feel her warmth, without invading her personal space. My thumb gently stroked her cheek.

Sango licked her lips, but I kept my eyes locked on hers. Her voice was so quiet! "I wanted to keep you away from me. I didn't trust you, and you were such a pervert, even trying to peek on Kagome and I while we bathed! Then, there were just the times when you could be so nice, like the times when you helped me fix my wounds, or saved me, helped me in any way, ki… kissed me." She paused, and gave a wavering sigh. "It didn't work though. You got close to me, and kept on getting closer to me, and I came to care about you enough to stop slapping you when you became a pervert, and I wanted to make you as happy as you do me, but then Yuzuriha showed up…."

Trailing off, she paused for a long time. Then, she slowly slid forward, leaning her cheek against my chest and pressing her hands against me. My arm wound around her neck, my cold my fingers warming from the comfort of her long hair. I tangled my fingers in the hair at the base of her neck, sending shivers down her spine as I stroked the skin under my fingertips. She pressed further against me, and even through the fur around my shoulders I could feel her wavering breath.

"Maybe it only is jealousy," she whispered. "I… I just… I never thought that… that a _woman_ might take you away from me. I planned on everything else, thought of everything else. Kagura, the wasps, Naraku, the kazaana, but never on a woman. I don't want anything to take you away from me, Miroku."

My other hand dropped my staff to slip underneath the haraikotsu and hold her close. "I know. I don't want anything to take me from you either. However, Sango, no woman will ever take me from you. Not like that. Never like that. We can step around all of that. Look, if a girl is claiming that I took her virginity, she's lying, and if needs be, I'll go and hunt down a griffin to prove myself innocent! If a father wants me to marry her daughter, then I will simply have to suck it up and tell them that I politely refuse. At every bathhouse along our path, we'll spread around some rumor with the women that I've resumed my vow of celibacy or something, and if anyone comes up and asks me if she still wants me to bear her child, I'll just have to tell them that someone I love has already accepted the offer, because frankly, Sango, I don't want anyone but you to bear them!"

I moved my hands, cupping her face and tilting it up so that she could look at me. I laughed weakly when I saw that her tears had smudged the pink eye shadow that complimented her blush. Now it complemented her cold cheeks and her pink nose. I tapped it gently. "Even when you cry, you look good. Sango, we can get through anything. Please, don't let my stupid mistakes ruin something that could be wonderful."

She looked away. "That's why I was so mean. I wanted to make you hate me. I knew that if you found out, you'd fight, and be charming, and tell me not to give up just because a few women out there wanted to get you in bed with them…." Sango tried to laugh and smile. "That, by the way, was an attempt at a joke, or some kind of humor." Her voice wavered, and her eyebrows narrowed together. "And then I gave in. Lately, I've just felt so weak with you, Miroku. I smile when you do, feel sad when you do, worry about what you think of me, give in when you start being sweet, and I want to spend more time alone with you!"

I leaned down, kissing her forehead. "You love me, Sango. Admit it, you love me."

She shook her head. "If love makes you feel this weak, then I don't want love. I'm a demon…."

"You're a demon slayer, so you don't need love, right? You don't need someone that you fight to protect, to wake up to every morning, a partner to watch your back. But you're also human, Sango. Why do you think you want to save your brother, why you have friends? You can't escape love, no matter how hard you try."

"I don't need to escape love, I just need to escape _you_," she snapped.

I smiled, and kissed her lips gently. I paused, staring into her eyes. I kissed her again, deeper, losing myself in her just for a second. When I stopped, her eyes were still closed, her breathing shallow. "Sango, by now you know how much you mean to me. I can't… can't help you figure out how you feel about me anymore. I've tried to show you everything that I feel for you, everything good in me that I can offer you. The rest is up to you now. But if it turns out that if even one tiny part of you loves me, then please, tell me, and together we can make it grow and you can see that love can make you strong; stronger than anything else. And I swear Sango, I'll make an honest woman out of you."

Surprised, she looked up at me, finding me completely serious, and in pain. I was so close, so close to thinking that she actually loved me, and in the end, it seemed all she had been doing was experimenting after all. "I will," I promised her. "If you want, I mean. If you want me to marry you, if you want a husband, and would take a monk who really only knows how to fight with his staff and whose eyes might wander, and who would have to be taught all about demon slaying if he wanted to fight with his wife, and won't be able to buy a ring or anything, then I will. I told you, I don't want to walk this road anymore. I want to walk yours, with you."

Giving her a quick kiss, I picked up my staff and left, wondering how in less than twenty-four hours I had gone from being the happiest, most satisfied man on earth, to being the loneliest I had ever felt in my life.


	20. Pained

Dressing Wounds

AN: Whee! Another update, because I finished writing anther chapter. Now let us all have a moment of silence in honor of the homework which sacrificed itself so that I could write another chapter.

bows head 

On to the AN!

Aamalie: Meh. I think the idea of Miroku getting down on one knee and asking Sango to marry him is just wonderful… and you see, really, it's the idea of the ring, of having two people be bound together, and so it's more for my own amusement than anything else. And stubbornness is a wonderful quality to have. is highly stubborn herself

Furi: hands you a box of Kleenex Thank you, love. I really should get around to read _Richard II_… As I was supposed to do that last week.

Soli: How I plan to turn this into a trilogy will… just realized she only has four more chapters of Dressing Wounds to upload …. O.O start crying I don't want it to end!!

Fireblade: I don't know. Probably something that one genius cooped up and every one else stole. bows to nameless genius Come on! Everyone likes a little vampirism! What do you think hickies are?

Keiko: Well, I think Miroku's being so good about it because he understands where she's coming from. Once upon a time, there was a time when Miroky had trouble expressing emotions too (some part of me thinks he still does... the bad ones just see, to be bottled up inside him). The beauty of this relationship, is my opinion, is that most of the time they understand each other beautifully. It's only when it comes to physical intimacy that they start having differing opinions, but as you can see, Sango has been coming around, thanks to Miroku's Twelve Step Program.

Jade Goddess: Miroku was never at that village. Yuzuriha and her family lived somewhere probably in Musashi's domain and then moved; and no, I don't think he ever did remember her. After all, she would have been fourteen or so at the time, and well, I think that when Miroku does that he's really just trying to charm young woman to make them feel special, so of course he pays it no mind.

Black Element: Naraku will be making a brief cameo before he is swiftly beheaded. (I can't right fight scenes –I maintain that- so I figured Miroku would be decapitated by a swinging tree, thus saving me from a fight scene and trying to figure out who should kill Naraku.)

Siren of Erised. O.O Dude, if _anybody_ is going to be writing pics from my fic… I want to see them!! has wonderful ideas for her new background Oddly enough, I have some people who want to buy my short stories, but I have to write one for them… I'm so involved with finishing this trilogy, I can't even come up with a plot! The Blooded I _will_ update… as soon as I've found a way to change the plot. It was… it was well written, but the plot was like a teenager's (and by that I really mean a nine-year old who thinks she's a teen and whose idea of writing involves a short recess from the word 'like' for four pages) p.o.v in a crossover of Buffy and Days of Our Lives.

I refuse to write something so grotesque… But Miroku and Inuyasha are such sexy vampires… I _will_ finish it, I just need to focus on the plot and not of the idea of Miroku sleeping in his boxers.

Aprill May: I'm like that too. I swear, the only way I can keep from falling asleep in class is to doodle or write. And then I miss notes because I get too caught up in it. But, I say, better than falling asleep.

Demon Ex: I was internetless over the summer. I feel your pain, and I promise that there will be chapters for you to read.

Ninalee: I'm glad to see that poor little Shippo is actually being noticed.

Enjoy! Wish my luck on my first 8.5 hour shift at Laura Secord! (It's so boring at times…)

Chapter Twenty: Pained

Well, that fight was one giant step backwards. It hurt me, and every night when I heard him fall asleep, every time I saw him, every time he groped me and I didn't really care anymore, I just wanted to tell him that I loved him. I knew it hurt him too, and the knowledge that I could stop it all by telling him three little words made it far too tempting. I could tell him, but knowing that might cost him his soul… Kagome says that you hurt the ones you love, and this is certainly true for me.

Because of this, I threw myself again into the fight with Naraku, trying to use battle as a means to forget how he made the weight I carried lighter, how passionate he seemed about life when I was with him, or how nice it felt to even just hold hands with him.

From the time of that fight, we barely spoke, and reverted back to our original conversations, but this time I watched myself. I said nothing to him that I knew he took offense at, so basically we were just the running commentary for the fights between Inuyasha and Kagome, or Inuyasha and Shippo.

Still, he let me know that he was still interested in me with the odd compliment, which I readily returned in a less conspicuous manner, and he didn't flirt with any other girls. In fact, I don't think that he even looked at any other girls. Every once in awhile he also touched me, though never anything overly personal, just touching my fingertips with his when we walked, or a friendly pat on my shoulder turning into a caress. Once again, I returned his advances, rarely actually slapping him when he groped me. Every day I found myself longing to see how he would flirt with me, and when I found him watching me, silent as death, it felt like everything inside of me was telling me to just go and kiss him.

However, I didn't actually start feeling _scared_ until we became trapped by Naraku, trapped under a mountain of living flesh. I can remember very little about the battle that trapped us there. I remember seeing Kohaku, I remember the insects being there and Miroku sucking them all into his kazaana. The next thing I remember, the fires at the base of Kirara's tail were lighting the mountain of flesh, Kohaku was gone, and Miroku lay on the ground.

We managed to get out of that, but Miroku still could not regain consciousness as he lay in Kaede's hut. Passing by the hut and finding it empty, I slipped inside. His harsh breathing reached my ears, and I reached out. I pulled back at the last second and hurried to fetch cold water and a cloth. Taking him by his shoulder, I slowly lifted him, and slid under his body so that he could use my legs as a pillow.

After loosening the robes around his neck for him, I wrung out the cloth and began to wipe the skin on his face and neck with the cold cloth. He made a sound of surprise at the coldness of the water. Then, I watched in amazement as he licked lips dark from the fever, and he shuffled slightly.

"Sango?" His poor voice was hoarse, but the sound of it filled me with elation. He was finally awake! Or was it only delusion that made my name the first from his lips?

"Shh." I hushed him as I brushed his bangs away from his sweat-soaked forehead, my other hand holding the cloth and trying to cool him down. "Try to save your strength, Miroku." Even during our fight I had called by his real name, I simply added 'sama' to the end. Now that he was suffering though, having foolishly taken in all of Naraku's poisonous insects, the Saimyosho, just to save us, suffering for _our_ sakes, I wanted… _needed_ to call him by his name. "You'll need it to fight off the poison."

I looked down at him and found his eyes staring up at me, slightly hazy from the high fever he had been running for several days now. The sight of them focused on me froze me, and I stared back. He really was awake. The cold water ran down my arm, until I recovered and began patting down his forehead again.

He smiled weakly. "A guy could get used to being sick when he gets to wake up and find you tending to him," he teased. How could he have been unconscious for so long, and tease me right from the moment he wakes up?

"Miroku…" I sighed, and then gave him a watery smile, trying not to lose control of myself from relief. "Would you like something to drink?" When he nodded I cautiously slid out from under him and fetched him a glass of fresh water. Returning, he tried to take it himself, but he could barely hold the cup steady. With one arm underneath his back, barely noticing the stickiness of his robes, or the weight he had lost from being able to drink only water for the past few days, I wrapped my hand around his to steady it. "Here."

He drank down the water, spilling only a little, and then he pushed the glass away. He was tired after only that small effort, but he refused to lay back down. I put down the glass and my hand was caught by his. He leaned into the arm around his back, moving until his head again lay in my lap. Miroku's eyes closed. "Thank you."

I sat back down and leaned against the walls of Kaede's hut, Miroku's head in my lap. I wiped his chin from the water that had slipped from his lips when he had drunk. My fingers curled around his and in between them, holding his right hand as hard as I could, ignoring the beads that dug into my palm. I raised them to my lips and kissed the back of his hand. His eyes momentarily opened and closed at my touch, telling me he had felt it. "No, Miroku, thank you. Nobody said that you had to take in those wasps. Still… I could have taken them down…" I shook my head, clearing away those thoughts. I wanted to be gracious, not to sound like him hurting had been pointless!

"Thank you, Miroku." I bent my head down and gave his lips a gentle kiss. He was too tired to even kiss me back, but his fingers did tighten around mine, his thumb rubbing mine. Leaning back against the wall, I breathed quietly through my mouth, feeling like I had just spent the last five minutes kissing him, rather than the past point five seconds.

"Sleep now, Miroku. I'll tell Kaede that you woke up, and she'll make a soup for you for supper tonight, in case you feel like eating. I'll even help her make it, so that you can go ahead and make jokes about eating Sango."

He smiled broadly. "Pervert."

"I guess that it rubbed off on me," I told him, brushing his damp bangs again.

"I think I'd prefer it if you stay here with me, Sango, just until I fall back asleep." He shifted and took a deep breath. His other hand wrapped around my leg, and he rolled over to his side. His nose touched the belt around my waist. "You smell good for a pillow."

Blushing slightly, I felt myself answer before thinking. "You smell good too, Miroku. At least, normally you do. Right now you kind of smell," I teased, wishing I could do it while I lay down next to him. He smiled again, and I was proud. I was learning how to make him smile the same way he did to me, without the smile being given because of a cute blush.

"So that day in the woods a long time ago, were you actually smelling me? I always thought that you had been."

"Quite possibly yes, I might have been smelling you. You smell… safe. Everything about you feels safe to me." My face fell. He felt safe to me because I trusted him, I knew that he would never do anything to hurt me and would always try to protect me. Even thought that's not necessarily what I always needed, it was nice that he was going to try and be my knight in shining armor, as Kagome once phrased it. My expression softened, and my fingertips traced the curves of his face. I felt more at ease with him than I had in a long time, even since before the fight. "You amaze me sometimes, Miroku. The way you keep on fighting, the way you can smile so easily, even how quickly you heal."

His right shoulder shrugged. "I keep fighting because I have something… some _things_ I don't want to give up. I smile because… I have a reason to smile. But I recover quickly usually, because I have a couple jewel shards in my shoulder."

My hand on his face flinched. I tried to recover by struggling to single handedly wring out the cloth in the bucket of cold water, however he had felt my flinch. I spoke before he could question why. "You never told me that you have Shikon jewel shards in your shoulder," I said quietly.

"I didn't realize that it was something I was supposed to advertise. Yes, I have three shards. It's how I used to keep up with Kagome and Inuyasha before you and Kirara became part of our group. I got them from a few minor demons that had found them, and it took me quite a while to purify them all. Because I had worked so hard to earn them, Kagome said that I could keep them."

"Wait. You can run fast enough to keep up with Inuyasha, yet you ride around on my friend and tire her out… _why_?"

He opened only one eye and looked up at me. He closed it again before he answered. "You're smart enough, Sango. Figure it out for yourself. Besides, I don't see how me having a couple of shards would make you react like that." Miroku tried to sit up again. Was he restless? "I think I could stand a bit more water now. I don't feel like sleeping right now. I'm just… weary."

I nodded, and helped him drink another glass. He lay back down in my lap again. Apparently he didn't want to sleep, but he did want to rest. I hoped that my talking with him wasn't tiring him out, but then, Miroku has a couple of jewel shards. They should give him some strength. "It just surprised me. I thought that you told me everything. I guess that even both of us have some secrets yet." That was really only half the reason.

"What type of secrets have you been keeping?"

_How about the fact that I love you, you… you…_

I couldn't think of way to finish the thought. It started off with names like lecherous and stupid and then it worked down to charming, thoughtful, sexy, sweet man. "For one thing I miss sneaking off with you. I miss being with you like this, miss your teasing and hearing about your life, and I miss kissing you and losing myself in you. I know that I said that part of me would always be listening, and thinking, and if part of me is still doing that then I can't hear it when I'm with you."

I began to lay down myself, resting his head on my stomach. I twisted so that I could lean my head on his chest, and his arm went around me to steady me, comfortable and warm between my shoulder blades. My hand snuck into his free hand to complete the way I curled around him, being both pillow and blanket. I didn't really care what sleeping objects he called me teasingly; the fact was that he was awake and able to tease me.

"I miss talking with you, Miroku. Everything about you, I miss." I swallowed hard, and my voice was so quiet I doubt that even Kirara would have been able to pick it out. "I love you, Miroku."

Lifting my head to see his reaction, I found him asleep. I was relieved. Every time I said it out loud though, it got a little easier. This time I thought he had been awake when I told him I loved him, so maybe the next time he would actually be able to hear me. Maybe next time I could tell it to his face. Curling myself tighter around him, I held his hand tightly, and wished for him to be better.

As worried as I was, his brief appearance in the realm of the conscious had eased over my thoughts, and they drifted to other things, like my brother. Miroku had told me that the fact that I loved my brother and wanted to save him was because I loved him, and they were natural feelings when you loved someone. If I applied that same idea to Miroku, then it just reaffirmed that I loved him. Maybe even that I was _in_ love with him.

How come he had never told me that he had three shards before? Was he ashamed that he had to rely on them at times? Here I was all this time thinking that when I was injured and Inuyasha was picking on me that I was weak for having to take so much time to heal, when Miroku was feeling the same way, even though he had help! Does that make sense to just me? I felt guilty when I had to heal, even though if anyone knew how it was agony to walk afterwards, never being a hundred percent healed, maybe they might have a little bit of respect for my perseverance. I slowed everyone down. Miroku felt the same way, no doubt, being victim to Inuyasha's remarks and the general feeling of helplessness all people feel when they can't move as they wished, but admitting that he was healing with the help of three Shikon shards would have merely added to that feeling of guilt, of weakness.

But three Shikon shards! What I could do if I had three Shikon shards….

I never got to finish that though. Curled up with Miroku, knowing that he was finally on the last leg of recovery, exhaustion caught up with me and I fell asleep against him. When I woke up, Miroku was muttering to himself and Inuyasha and Kagome were standing in the room over us. Inuyasha was saying something about perversion my sleepy ears couldn't catch, and Kagome was covering her mouth, no doubt trying to keep from saying something was cute from the glint in her eye. Shippo just wanted to know why Inuyasha was making a big deal out of Miroku I being curled up together.

He wanted to join in.

Kagome managed to get the two out of the hut, and I pretended to still be asleep, hoping my dream would come back to me. I'd had a wonderful dream. I dreamt that I could wake up to him every morning, dreamt that Naraku was rotting in some unmarked grave and that I could tell Miroku I loved first thing every morning, and then argue with him to stay in bed longer.

Miroku, sadly, could tell I was awake. His fingers tapped my shoulder lightly, though he didn't remove his arm from around me. "You're right. I do smell. I should probably go and take a bath." He waited for me to respond or move my head off his stomach so that he could get up. "Sango?"

I rubbed my head against his stomach, my breathing relaxed and content. "I lied. Even sick you smell kind of good. I don't want you to get up yet." I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the wall, at the rest of his body covered by the sheets. "I missed this." I slowly sat up, and looked down at him thoughtfully. "Miroku, something has been confusing me. You want to know how I feel about you, right? Is that it? We were not talking to each other because you don't know? If I tell you how I feel, and it's not what you want me to feel about you, then what will happen?"

He smiled up at me. "That depends on how you feel. If you say that you hate my guts and after we beat Naraku that you never want to see me again…"

Blushing, I shook my head. "That would never happen."

"…Then I would do as you asked. If you tell me that you care about me, and that you want to continue what we were doing, then I would some time to think it over, because it hurts me that I care about you so much and that you might never feel the same way. But if you said that you love me and you want to get married right now, I think I'd be too shocked and happy to think anything."

"Miroku," I said softly. "I do care about you. I care about you a lot. Since we started being together more, I've come to care about you more and more. Enough, in fact, so that I really do want to give you a family, because it's something that will make you happy, and because I think you'll make a wonderful father… as long as your kids don't turn out like perverts like you. I just… don't know if _I_ want to be a part of that family." What a lie! Yes, I did! I want to spend forever with him, I know I do, even if some days I have to spend all day fighting off that groping hand of his, I want to be near him always!

"Forever is a long time," I continued, though the lie pained me. After a lie like this one, I could never complain about Miroku's fibs anymore. "I'm not sure if I want to make that big of a commitment yet, but I will know one day, and hopefully one day soon. But I do care for you, Miroku-sama, maybe more than you can possibly imagine…"

Sitting up, he took my shoulders in his large hands. Was it to hold me or to steady himself? I kept my face away from his. One hand lifted from my body to calmly take my chin between his thumb and index finger, lifting my face up to his. He stared at me deeply for a long time. He was still looking tired, physically exhausted by trying to fight off the poison, but he looked suddenly relaxed, and happy. Then, as we kept looking at each other, flashes of pain could be found in his violet-grey eyes.

I had been thinking about him. When he'd sat up and touched me, I thought of him, fondly remembering the way he touched me, the way his hands were always warm and gentle. I remember his scent wrapping around me, and I didn't care, it made me feel relaxed, and welcomed, like the scent of my old house. I remember talking with him, the way I loved to relax at his voice, how much I loved talking and debating with him, how I wished when I was injured and healing that he would tell me stories until I feel asleep against him. The way I love it when he bandages my wounds, always being careful with me and apologetic when it stung, even though it wasn't his fault. I remember watching him play with Shippo, anxious for the day when he had his own son to play with and teach.

I thought of how much I loved him, how much he had come to mean to me, and I felt my face soften. My lips parted, and after a moment or two, began to smile. I felt the color rise to my cheeks, not in a blush, but just out of happiness, the way Kagome's cheeks turn rosy when she smiles at Inuyasha. I felt my mind yelling at him, telling him everything I couldn't.

Everything I couldn't tell him with my voice. Miroku could see from every glance I gave him, every touch I gave him, the way I had come to tease him and make jokes with myself as the butt, the way I was happy and open with him, that I loved him.

He shook his head slightly. "Can't you say it?" I was planning on claiming ignorance, but he continued. "I know that you love me, Sango. A woman who is truly in love can't hide it from her friends, and I am your friend. What's stopping you? Can't you… can't you tell me that you love me?"

I shook my head slowly, a total of four times. I counted as I thought. All I could come up with was one word. "No." I'd do it again. I'd start to hurt him to make him back away from me. Even if he knew, I could still lie and say it was all in his imagination.

He gently asked why not. I thought he was going to let me go, burned from my short answer, but he held me, and kept looking at me. Why did he half to keep looking at me?

My voice was shaky. "If I told you that I loved you, and you died, would you hate life for parting us?" He opened his mouth to answer, but I kept on drilling him. "If you died with hate, we wouldn't have a second chance, would we? If you managed to be reincarnated, you'd come back as something sub-human because you hated life, a step back away from trying to achieve enlightenment, right? How could someone who hates life possibly achieve enlightenment? You'd come back as a rat or a weasel or something. Or maybe as a dolphin. Kagome says that they're the only other animals on the planet that have sex for fun. I think you would make a good dolphin."

Tears dripped from my cheeks, landing on his _kesa_ and turning the purple material black. I pulled away from him, his hand slipping away from my so that I could rub under my nose and cover up my choked sob. "You know, apparently though, so you have to try and forget or something! I just… I can't…" My words failed, and I was unable to say anything else, at least for the moment, and I hurt. I hurt so much. I laughed weakly.

"I didn't know that love hurts. I am scared, Miroku. It does make me feel weak, because you're a liability. I think about losing you, and it feels… like I'm losing my family all over again. Because I finally found somebody who loves me as much as I love them. I want to be with you forever. I want to go to bed with you each night, and wake up with you each morning, and watch you grow old. But I think about losing you, and I wonder how I can ever be whole again if that happens. If you left me, Miroku, there might not be any vengeance, any revenge this time, unlike with my family. I feel like there would be this large hole in my heart, and I would feel so lost. And that next time, there might not be anybody to fill it, and I would never be able to be myself again."

I sniffled, and looked up at him, to see him looking shocked. I smiled weakly, rubbing my cheeks with the back of my hand. I thought that he was maybe even mad at me for why I hadn't admitted it sooner, maybe even concerned that I was a worry-wart, but I was so concerned about being broken. I finally started feeling complete again… I didn't want to be broken again. It was a living hell. However, he was only startled to find how much I cared for him, trying to get a grasp on the idea I really did love him.

He suddenly smiled, and his laugh was short, even painful. He suddenly grabbed me and hugged my so tightly I thought the wounds I had from the last battle might reopen. He muttered my name, and I closed my eyes tightly, holding him back and experiencing everything that I always had wanted to experience. Everything seemed so much brighter, so much more intense now that I could finally admit it to him. "I love you, Miroku."

His fingers spread out, pressing harder against me. "Oh, Buddha… Sango, I know. I love you too."

We held each other like that for a long time. Neither of us knew what else to say to each other. There was still much to talk about –for one, I didn't know if Miroku was honest about his marriage proposal, or even if he was sure that was what he wanted, or if he would respect my wishes and take only me for his wife- but neither of us wanted to bring them up. They would bring themselves up when the time was right. Despite the scent of cooking food, or Inuyasha and Shippo and Kagome eavesdropping on the other side of the wood as they no doubt were, the time was right for saying nothing else, and just enjoying the company we had missed so much.


	21. Kirara

Dressing Wounds

AN: Well… I figured we could use another little dose of comedy to balance out the severe amount of fluff in the last chapter. Somebody once pointed out that in most stories Shippo gets forgotten. So, a lot of the time I find, does Kirara. I've heard everything from she hates Miroku, to she can stand him, to she likes him. This is just my take on that, as well as kind of explaining how she can communicate with people like Shippo and Sango. (Maybe Shippo took lessons in cat.)

And, sadly, my updates are going to slow down for the next 7 weeks (it's not that long!). The school work is pilling up, and I have to throw myself into it and get my essays done. I have never written an essay the night before it's due, I'm proud to say, and I refuse to start now! (I also have a lot of other crap due, and if I listed it now… well, I'd start to cry.) So, please bear with me. sweatdrops

In other news: WHEE! This story is now over 100, 000 words long! Cookies for all!

Jade Goddess: Well, there is Naraku, and Kirara, and their friends' reaction to their relationship, and how could you forget about Kohaku?

Lily Thorne: Well, I think the thing to understand about the mood swings is that in our time they appear rather quick, but Sango had some weeks to see what her life was like without Miroku in it, and suffice it to say: it sucked. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If only I had a penny for every time I said I missed my boyfriend!

Black Element: Okay, you caught me. I really don't know much about the Inuyasha world. At least, less than I let on. But, Miroku, when he gets introduced, has three shikon shards to begin with, and he's not corrupt then. I think that people use them for evil purposes, it corrupts them, or maybe if the shards themselves are tainted, they taint the owner. But Miroku is only using the shards (in my fic) for healing himself so that his friends don't have to wait for him, which is hardly evil, nor are the shards he's using tainted, because he purified them himself. And if this isn't acceptable to you, then just step around that plot hole.

Snow-Queen: I don't know my own stories that well (memory span of a fish) but I don't think that happened in my story. Maybe it happened in the series, but I'm on episode 55.

Furi Iki: I love Miroku too. I have such fun getting into their minds!

Blood Red Emerald: Ah… yeah…. Updating… points to the top of the AN

Hoshinko: Actually, I very often don't reply unless people ask questions. I don't know what else to say besides 'thank you' and that's so repetitive to write all the time! (If the ff people found out, they'd hurt me! hides in fear from having her stories taken away)

Fireblade: Nooo! I need my asterixes!! (My dictionary won't tell me how to spell them…)

Soli-chan: I did warn people about cavities!

Pirate girl: I am updating, and I have a sequel planned, though it needs editing.

Amber: Thank you so much, love! I enjoy writing fan fics. I am a slave to the rabbit plot bunnies lurking in my book case. They are my labor of love, and frankly, you people are the ones who keep me motivated in my writing, otherwise I would probably throw them all away when I was done writing them.

Siren: Twenty pictures? impressed I feel all warm and fuzzy… or maybe that's my icky medication working…

Yuki: Thanks for the review, but please, stop telling me what you're doing in class when you are reviewing! Oy; you're going to make me nervous about ever taking kids into the computer labs at school!

Aprill May: The 8.5 hour shift went well… minus my "small" freak out when I thought the computer was asking me if I was 978.12 over what it had calculated. I get to do another one tomorrow. Here's hoping I get home before 11 tomorrow night. And love, just because dolphins have sex for fun doesn't mean it's kinky.

DemonEx: I maintain that I can't write lemons.

Xichiathik: You know, your review really got me thinking, and I have marked your point well. In fact, I kind of have a fic idea circling around it, but I need to let it sit a little. Either way, your point hasn't gone unnoticed, and I am really quite impressed. I never thought of it before from that angle, and I'm actually kind of ashamed now, because it such obvious logic.

My God, I sound like a Vulcan.

Sangosnewsoul: You forgot the Bachelor party.

Enjoy, everyone!

Chapter Twenty-One: Kirara

That same night, after everyone else had gone to bed, I stayed up watching the fire place. I had slept far too long, and I wanted to get out, to move about, but I knew I was still too weak. Tomorrow I would get up and walk around under my own power, instead of having to lean on Sango as I walked, as I had done that night. She had been kind enough to help me bathe. It was, I'll admit, slightly embarrassing, but after getting over being treated like an invalid, it was rather enjoyable to allow her to undress me, step into the water with me though she still wore her yukata, and for her to scrub me clean. Sango even washed my hair for me. She toweled me off, and dressed me, and then helped me back to the village.

It was, in the end, an amazing experience, and an eye-opener. She didn't blush once in the whole process. She treated it like a job, which I didn't mind as had she been eyeing me as she undressed me, I would have probably ended up making an ass out of myself. It was good to know that though we both longed to be physical with each other, we were able to put those emotions away and be professionals. When we could relax and be together, then we would, but when we had to work we were nothing more than fighting partners.

'Meow.' I lifted my gaze from the fire to find Kirara sitting beside me. I blinked in surprise, and she butted my arm, her two tails wagging back and forth in unison. I lifted my arm for her, and she crawled under the limb to climb into my lap. My arm settled back down over my leg, and she meowed again.

Wondering what could have changed the opinion of a cat who I thought had hated me since I fought with Sango, I obediently began to stroke her back. To my surprise, Kirara curled up and began to purr as I petted her.

'Sango told me that she admitted that she loves you today,' a female voice said. It was husky, and older than Sango or Kagome, probably closer to the age my mother would have been if she were still alive.

Recalling what Sango had said about Kirara's noises sounding more like words to her, I stared down at the purring cat in my lap. "Are… are you seriously…"

Kirara opened one eye fully and then closed it halfway in the sly expressions cats have. 'Sango said that you were smart, but I guess that you're slightly incredulous. You can believe in a half-demon, or a demon exterminator who befriends full demons, but ask for that cat-demon to be able to communicate and things are getting a bit stretched, right?'

"Ah…" What does one say to that? I tried my best to smile, but it was rather hollow. "Well, Sango had mentioned something about it before," I said. My voice was low so as not to disturb the other sleeping people, which was namely Sango. "I simply didn't think that it would happen to me. What interest could you possibly have in talking to me?"

'It is the matter of Sango, Miroku. You two greatly care about each other, and I wish to know what you are planning on doing. I've known Sango since she was a cub, a child, and to eyes as old as mine, she has grown up quickly. She has no older relatives to approve of the mate she has selected, as I understand most humans do. Therefore, _I_ must approve of you if you wish to pursue this any longer.' The tips of her ringed tails began to twitch. 'It's not that I don't want you and Sango to be happy, Miroku, it's simply that I want to know your intentions.'

"Intentions?" I repeated. "I want to make Sango happy."

Kirara sighed. I didn't know what else to say to her, or what she meant. Apparently my answer wasn't good enough for her. 'I meant, for instance, now that she has said that she loves you will you proceed immediately to have sex with her? Or do you honestly want to marry her, and have children with her? When the battle is all over, will you still want to be tied down with Sango? Those are the kinds of questions I want answered, what I mean when I say that I want to know what your intentions are.'

I understood after she explained things. I smiled, and continued stroking her soft fur, staring into the fire. "I see. Well, those are all very easy questions to answer. I am not going to start sharing a bed roll with Sango just because she says that she loves me. At least, not sharing one in a physical manner. Here, where we can relax, I wouldn't mind sleeping next to her. Another persons' body warmth is quite comforting, and she doesn't kick or squirm or anything. Perhaps some men may work to make a woman fall in love with them purely for sexual gratification, but I am no such man. I respect Sango, and so I want to wait until we're married. Also, this will leave her virginity in tact so that should anything happen to me, she will have nothing of which to be ashamed."

My face softened at the idea of having Sango give herself up to me. She was honestly allowing me to take her physical innocence, to be the first man to ever know her intimately. I felt the blood begin to rise in my cheeks. Simply knowing that she wanted me, to give such an honor to me, was enough to make me content. I'm a man; I please easily.

It was also the most arousing thought I have ever had. All the fantasizing, all the women I have experienced in my life, the concept of simply being _allowed_ to touch Sango was enough to….

Pressing on before I startled the cat curled up on my lap by… ah… you know... I tackled the next thing Kirara had brought up. "I do honestly want to marry her. I want… I want to travel down the same road as her, and only her. Not only do I want marriage, I want a monogamous one. I can't imagine having another woman on top of Sango. She's intelligent, and strong, and vibrant, so what need would I have for another woman? She makes me happy, in every way she possibly can. The only thing that would make me not marry Sango were if she didn't want it, if she wanted to remain free, and not tied to a man, a man who would one day burden her with children. Even then, I would ask her every year, just to make sure the offer were still there if she ever decided that she wanted to remain with me the way I do with her.

"And children. Once I thought that I wanted to have a lot of children. I thought the more children I had to care for, to nurture as I wished that my parents could have done for me, that I would be happier. I don't think that's the case anymore. I also thought that if I found a woman able to bear my children, who accepted the kazaana and my quest, I would learn to love her more and more with each child she bore. I know that's not the case with Sango. I love her already. I… don't want a lot of children with Sango. It's not that I don't still want a large family, because part of me does. I just don't want to lose Sango. My mother and hers were both lost in child birth. It's a very dangerous business. Making children is fun, but giving birth to them can be deadly. No, Sango means too much to me to lose her to something that can be prevented."

'Then what will you do after you decide to stop having children?' Kirara inquired, lifting her chin so I could scratch it.

"I don't know. Perhaps by that time they will have come up with something to keep women from getting pregnant, and if not, we will just have to confine ourselves to the periods directly before and after her bleeding, when she can't become pregnant. Actually, in some cultures, men and women even have sex during the monthly bleeding period. I read in one of Kagome's textbooks. If not, there are other ways we can be intimate with each other without my seed being spilt." I smiled, deliriously happy. "We'll find a way. Hey! Did Sango go around telling everybody what happened here tonight? I mean, does everybody know?"

Kirara shook her head lazily. I suddenly winced when her claws dug through my robe when I scratched her back. Luckily they retracted again in a second, but ow! Her nails were freaking sharp! 'No,' she purred. 'Just me. She tells me everything. I'm her oldest friend. And she does talk to herself quite a bit, and I'm always there on her shoulder. You see, Sango won't tell anyone else, though I'm sure Kagome will figure it out herself eventually. She is actually rather shy about public displays of affection, even stuff like kissing. I'm not quite sure why. You should ask her why.'

"Yes, you should ask her why."

We both froze at the sound of Sango's voice. I don't know who was more petrified, the cat or myself. I kept waiting for something to come flying out and hit me, but the cat recovered in a second. She knew that the most she would get would be an earful; Sango would never throw something at Kirara.

She came and sat beside me in front of the fire, and she said nothing to me. Instead she looked down at Kirara and then chuckled lightly. "You certainly look happy. I could have done all that questioning myself, though." She pushed the longer strands of hair behind her ear. It was cute the way it knotted when she slept. "Do you at least approve of the man I love?"

Kirara stretched lazily, her two tails thumping slowly against my lap. She rolled over lightly, making me scratch her side. Her eyes were closed tightly, but her mouth was slightly open, her pink tongue just slightly protruding. I had to cover up a laugh at her delighted expression by pretending to choke. 'Well, I will say this. He has very nice hands.' The cat wiggled in my lap. 'Hm, very talented hands indeed.'

I was pleased to notice that Sango turned a bit pink at this comment. She looked down at my hands, watching them, and then she smiled gently. "I'd have to agree with that," she whispered to the cat. "Now, get out of Miroku's lap. You two can talk later on. You're both keeping me up." Sango yawned and nudged my arm slightly with her shoulder. "Come to bed, Miroku. Please?"

It was a dream come true. Kirara wasn't going to try and bite my head off, Sango loved me, and was actually asking me to join her in bed… I scooped up Kirara and put her by the mat in front of the fireplace. I wanted to whisk Sango up and carry her away, but I was still too weak. I did, however, put my arm around her, and helped her down on the thin mat.

Grinning like an idiot, I undid my robes, watching her eyes noticing every move of my hands. She smiled up at me, blushing, her dark hair now past her shoulders again, long enough now that I wanted to wind my hands in her hair and gently pull her up to kiss me. Her brown eyes were warm again, warmer than I had ever seen them, the way I imagined that they were before her family was killed. She covered her smiling mouth with her hand, and nervously toyed with the blankets. When I was clad only in my pants, I slid in next to her. Laying down on my back, she pressed herself up against me, her head on my left shoulder bone, one hand under my back and the other one on my stomach, one leg thrown around mine. My left hand touched the small of her back.

"You know," I sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "I didn't think that you'd be the type of girl to declare your love to somebody and then to go and sleep with them that same night."

"I'm not," she giggled, understanding my pun based on Kagome's future dialect and my teasing voice. "But I am the kind of girl who doesn't really like public displays of affection, so when we're alone like this, I like being able to be close to you, to touch you. I like how you touch me." I felt the heat from her cheeks on my skin. "I'm also the kind of girl who would like to sleep beside her _iinazuke_."

At the word, all thoughts flew out of my head. My jaw dropped open, the ceiling suddenly blurring in my view. Fiancé? Then she had accepted my proposal? What had caused this? Unbeknownst to me, I was asking these questions out loud. I was not aware of this until she began answering my questions.

"I didn't know if you really wanted to get married or not. Maybe it was something that you had proposed because you thought it was what I wanted. I didn't want you to feel trapped because of the things I want, because I really do want to marry you. Instead I find out that you want the same things I want. So if the offer still stands, then it's a giant yes." She lifted her head slightly, enough so that I could see her face. "Just please, promise me that if anything happens to us, you'll come back to me so I can be this happy in another life."

I kissed her hair, and leaned back on the mattress. "I promise. I'll come back to you every lifetime, until you see my soul so often that you have to live on a diet of garlic to keep me away."

We talked about the possibilities of the future until late in the night. Kirara got tired of sitting in front of the cooling embers, and came to join us, slipping between Sango and I so that her body rested on my stomach and her head on Sango's hip. The sky was actually starting to lighten up when I went to sleep. Sango was right. It was nice just to be touching and talking. We would only have one more day of it before I, as well as Kagome, I had learned, would be well enough to travel. We had several weeks of fighting for which to make up.

We were rudely awoken when a kitsune snuck into our tent. We were both awakened when we heard him cough, and poor Kirara nearly tumbled off to the floor. Luckily, Sango's reflexes caught the tiny demon, and Kirara recovered from her shocking awakening by sitting up on Sango's shoulder.

Shippo nervously twiddled his thumbs. "Um… Inuyasha stayed the night with Kagome and me, in the other hut. They kind of went off on a walk to be alone together. So, I was wondering if I could maybe crawl in with you…. Hi Sango!" He pounced on the covers, just noticing that she was there, apparently. "What are you doing here?"

"I slept here," she said kindly, knowing that the only reason he'd asked such a silly question was because he was still asleep. She picked Shippo up and held him in her lap. She brushed his hair for him, and he laid his head against the curves of her breasts. The lucky kid! She smiled down at him, and lay back down on the bed, this time laying on her side so she could hold him. "Of course you can sleep in with us. Just watch Kirara and your kicking, please." The cat hopped off her shoulder and sat on her hip, waiting for me to lay down to give her more pillow room.

Tucking the blanket around his tiny body, Sango looked up at me. The color rose lightly to her cheeks, and she smiled at me, holding Shippo tightly, as if she feared I was going to tell him to get out. "What?"

My gaze moved from her to the child grasping tightly to her chest, using the mounds as a pillow. The _very_ lucky kid. I gently touched his hair, and I slowly broke into a dopey grin. I drew the covers up to us as I lay on my side, staring at Sango overtop of Shippo's head, so that the little child was safely tucked between us. Kirara, in turn, balanced herself on the taught material between our bodies.

Sango didn't even need to ask why I was smiling like an idiot. She knew that I was imagining it was the child we would one day create together that would come asking to cuddle in with us when we were sleeping. Instead, she looked down at Shippo, and then gazed up at me. "Why is it that you think having a lot of children will make you happier?"

"Well, look at them," I said, pointing to the kitsune protectively held in her arms. "They are so young, and happy and just… perfect. They are the most perfect beings that I think we can make, children. They are so impressionable, that you want to protect them and help them be the best person that can be. You want to watch them grow, watch them experience things like snow, or the ocean, for the first time so that you can tell them how they reacted when they can't remember anymore. They have such a different view to everything, that it makes me long to be a child again myself. I want to love them so much, to be someone they can look up to and depend on, to just kiss their bruises and scare away monsters for them. I always thought that the more children I had, the more bruises I would have to fix, the more monsters to scare away, and so I would have more people to love and more love to be given in return. There is no love like that of a child, Sango. All they ask of you is nothing but for you to catch them when they fall, until they grow old enough to learn they have to fall to learn, which is when they want you to give them a band aid and a hug. It's so… innocent, like them, it's complete and unconditional love.

"That's why I wanted children. To have people to love and love me back, and the more I have of them, the more love there is circling the room. Now I don't need that though, because I found you. I don't need a big family, because… I'm happy."

Sango smiled at me. Her smile always takes my breath away. It's even better when I know that I am the person who is able to put that smile on her face. She took my hand and brought it to her lips and kissed my knuckles. Afterwards, she simply held it. "Good. I'm happy too."


	22. Honor

Dressing Wounds

AN: This update is brought to you by Aamalie-chan pestering me. So, guess what? You are now reading the work of a chic who is volunteering in a grade nine applied science classroom!

I'm also now doing so much work that I'm giving up eating and sleeping. I spend all time studying… except when I volunteer and when I work with ice cream. ::sigh::

B4By: Thanks, love. I do so love love.

Siren: I love how Miroku describes kids as well, which is weird. I have no idea where that idea came from. I was just writing, and there it was. But I like it. Come on, Miroku and a kid would be cute.

Demon Exterminator: In my experience, going to bed with a warm body is a nice experience period, boyfriend, sibling, roommate, whatever. Beds are too cold by themselves; another makes it nice and toasty warm. But boyfriends are the best ones, because then you get to snuggle.

Aamalie: at this rate… two. Fingers/hands and his mouth/tongue. now, once they step up their relationship, then he can have more talented body parts. I think it will stop at three though. And I can't yell at you; I don't think I can yell at anyone, which is why it will be interesting volunteering with grade nines…

Hayai: if it makes you feel any better, I have a shit load of chapters I can upload still. You may not be able to read, but I can't even find the time to _write_. I _need_ to write!! ::cries::

Furi Iki: O.O ::blinks:: Your review just gave me a good idea…. And I can't find the time to write it!!

Snow-Queen: If you ignore the pile of homework, it grows. If you look at it, it seems foreboding, but homework is like a puffer fish. It seems more taxing and larger than it actually is. The only reason why I really have so much to do now is because I have so much to catch up on to do my essays, but that's not my fault! The textbooks for me class didn't come in until last week!!

Meres: Well, it was a respite from large fluff…

Jade: I forget about Kohaku a lot myself.

Fireblade: now that I remember who Koharu is, _YES_! I agree completely, and I'm so glad that someone else out there agrees with me! Normally, I tell people that I see Miroku as just trying to make Kohaku feel better and feel special so that she can know someone out there cares for her, and they look at me funny!

Soli-chan: "blessed enough to exude all sorts of talent" hm? You know, that would be interesting… Pardon me… I just need to pick up this pen and jot down some "notes" and… ::textbooks leaps out and bites her:: Okay, okay! I'll work! Bastard textbook…

Aprill May: O.O Let this be a lesson to both us! Google is evil! You know, if you look up pictures of mermaids, you find pornography. I know. I'm like, "Hm, pretty mermaid pictures… they'll have pictures I can use in my projects!" I clicked the link… and let us not speak of what I found. --

Rubychik: I have rabid fluff plot bunnies tell me what to do. I'm their slave. It's not me writing at all, it's them controlling me. The only thing that keeps them away is the textbook, and compared to the textbook, the rabid plot bunnies are soft taskmasters.

Ninalee-chan: I love intimacy. And thank you so much. It's nice to hear comments like that when I'm struggling to write essays or Marxist approaches to history; they boost my self confidence. Let's just say that on the outside, I'm not family orientated at all. I hated my childhood: a geek, no friends, little sister used to pick on me, divorce, crazy mother…. (God, she's going to kill me if she sees that!) and as a result, I cling to happy endings and to the idea that if/when I have kids, they are going to have rosy childhoods and I will protect them from everything. It's not true, and I'm well aware of it, but it's a wonderful comfort in the middle of the night.

Keiko: Inuyasha and Kagome appear a little in this, but they aren't really essential in the development of this relationship, at least, in this story they aren't. But, as they appear in this chapter, I'll let you guess what their current relationship status is. And I think that Kirara deserves more screen time.

That said, good night folks, my textbooks are calling me, and my eyes are killing me! If I don't update ever again, I didn't survive grade nine applied science! Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Two: Honor

"The blood of a perfect woman?" Kagome repeated, her blue eyes wide. Sango blushed when the oceanic gaze was turned on her. She slowly smiled, and put her hands on her hips, looking between the both of us. "So, Miroku-sama found himself a perfect woman."

"I'm sure that there was probably something else and he was just trying to be flattering," she said demurely, though I beamed in pride. "I mean, I'm not exactly a perfect woman. My sewing always falls apart on me, my cooking skills are rather limited, I can't do anything like flower arranging or dancing that most people would consider proper for a girl…."

"Feh," Inuyasha interrupted. Apparently that was all that he needed to say for his feelings to be clear. Sadly, it was quite true. So what if she couldn't arrange flowers or perform a perfect tea ceremony? She was Sango, and we all loved for her the way she was. I wondered if her confession was some kind of a sign that her lack of "feminine" traits disturbed her, as impossible as I found it to believe. She was always so confident about herself, although… although lately when we had been talking, when I reflected upon it, she had always been a little unsure.

Weariness. We were all weary of the fight. We all just wanted it to end. Our hopes, our confidence, they were wearing thin. I had lost my confidence long ago; now it was just an exoskeleton. My hope, though, had been rekindled. We had to win, so that we could be together.

"Perhaps he meant something else. Perhaps it was not something physical, or the things that you can do, Sango, but what was in your heart." I turned to look at her as we walked along, looking thoughtful. "After all, the only reason why you went out there was because you were looking for something for me. Maybe it's just me, but if I found a woman who risked a lot going out of her way to find a cure for her friend, I'd say that she was perfect too."

Sango blushed a dark shade of red at my compliment, making me grin like a stupid idiot. She looked down at the ground, as I did up at the sky, content and even relaxed as we walked along. When we suddenly glanced at each other, that's when we suddenly realized that Shippo, Kagome, and Inuyasha were staring at us.

"Why is she so red?" the latter demanded.

"How come he's not even groping her? Doesn't he usually grope her after a compliment like that?" the first queried.

"Ah…" the middle one said, thinking as she looked between our red faces. She smiled. "I see."

"What? What do you see? Tell us!" prompted the first and the latter.

Kagome only giggled. She patted Shippo's head and told him that he would one day see. She then linked her arm with Inuyasha's and started pulling him along, leaning her head on his shoulder.

I looked over at Sango, who appeared to be venting any emotion that she had by petting Kirara's head. I wished that I also could have linked hands, but Kirara had warned me about Sango and her aversion to public acts of affection, so I had to maintain myself. I glanced down at her ass and mentally sighed. It was really tempting not to grope her. Instead after a moment, I casually commented, "Kagome doesn't know, does she?"

"No," Sango answered, sounding almost a little triumphant.

"I would have thought for sure that you would have told her."

"I know," she grinned. "I will tell her, confirm a little of what she already suspects one day. Except that when I tell her, it will mean that they'll be a lot of secret looks and comments, and then Inuyasha will wonder what's going on and he'll have to be let in, and then he'll make a lot of stupid comments Kagome will want to sit him for, and you know what? I like this secret just being you, Shippo, Kirara and I. I'll tell her when the moment is right and it can be done without a lot of stupid commentary and silly questions."

After a few more moments, we noticed that Kagome was slowing down, and looking around at our surroundings. She suddenly stopped altogether. Kagome whirled around, putting Shippo on the ground and taking off her bow to use it, as Inuyasha growled something about bugs. Kirara immediately changed into her larger form, and Sango unhooked her boomerang. Inuyasha, of course, held his transformed Tetsusaiga out in front of him, as always. It was sad how the slightest discrepancy in personality or atmosphere threw everybody into their fighting mode.

All noises from the forest around us had stopped. Our breathing seemed to echo

in the trees, stirring the leaves and early spring flowers. We stood back to back with each other in a circle, watching for the bugs Inuyasha said were coming, Shippo huddled protectively amidst us all. There would be more than one threat, as there normally was. We didn't want to be surprised and caught by not watching our backs.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha asked.

She swallowed hard, and I felt Sango stiffen beside me, Kirara on my other side beside Kagome. "Kohaku."

The pommel of a small dagger pressed itself into my hand. I slipped it up into a hidden pocket in my sleeves, which Sango had convinced me to make. After taking her knife, I held her hand a second longer, giving it a reassuring squeeze. We'd discussed this plan before. We didn't know if it would work, but it was the best that we, and our motley crew, could come up with. Sango was nervous. I could feel it, and if I glanced at her, I could see the way the tips of her fingers shook with excitement and goose bumps crawled over the edge of her high collar.

The bugs arrived first, Kohaku half a second later. Sango almost immediately ran to him, but she halted herself just before her toes left the ground. She fell back in place, biting her lip so hard a small mound of blood began to build before she absentmindedly brushed it away. The bugs needed to be taken care of first.

Kohaku just stood there, as Inuyasha started the k_aze__ no kisu_ to eradicate Naraku's watchmen, Kagome lending aid with her arrows and even Shippo lending us aid with his fox fire. Kohaku looked good, his eyes bright and clear, like the way he had been when Naraku sent him to go after Kagome. His freckles stood out on his pale skin as he locked his gaze on Sango. He gripped his weapon, and threw it. Sango shielded her and me with the haraikotsu, but it was pointless.

He'd thrown his weapon to miss.

I wondered what I would be like in that position. What would it be like to see my sibling, knowing that he was finally himself again, and not be able to run and hold him? Sango's nails were being torn up by her grip on her weapon. "Kohaku," she mumbled between gritted teeth, tears in her eyes. I looked back and forth between them, and I found myself being lonely. They had a bond that I couldn't understand, and they were family. He was a part of her flesh and blood, something that I could never be. Maybe because of that he was closer to her that I could ever imagine.

Kagome looked over her shoulder. "They're gone. Miroku-sama, let's do it." Together we joined our magic to create a shield through which nobody would be able to pass. We also hoped that Naraku wouldn't be able to use Kanna's power to see what we were doing.

Finally, Sango let herself go free. She dropped her weapon and bolted from her position, her arms outstretched to hold the brother she had been trying to help for so long. None of us could stop her, even had we wanted to do so. Kohaku looked at her in surprise, and then his own weapon fell to the ground in a small cloud of dust.

"S… Sango?"

His voice was so hollow and tired. All of us were in shock. He recognized her. He really was in his right mind. Sango let out a loud sob as she reached him, and threw her arms around him, falling to her knees and dragging him down with her. His arms slowly wrapped around her, clinging to the fabric of her robe. His clear brown eyes stared blindly ahead, and then he suddenly began crying too, louder than her, the tears running down his freckled cheeks in streams.

"Sango! I'm so sorry, Sango! I'm so sorry!" He couldn't speak after that, and just sat there with her, both of them rocking back and forth, Kohaku letting out sobs and crying for the things he had done under Naraku's control. Sango was crying tears of joy because she had her brother back in her arms, and she prayed that it wasn't going to end.

"It's not your fault," she mumbled into his neck. She stopped rocking, her crying lessening. She lifted him off of her and began drying his cheeks. She kissed his face everywhere, telling him that after every peck. "It's not your fault, Kohaku."

"But… but the things I did! I killed my own family! I tried to kill so many, again and again, and Kagome…." He looked up to find that Kagome was moving toward him, her bright blue eyes the gentle expression she only saved for people like Shippo or Inuyasha, people who were so young in ways of looking at the world that they never saw themselves. His muscles looked as if he were going to bolt, until he saw that she wasn't mad at him.

Kagome knelt down beside them, and rubbed his head, her compassionate expression becoming cheery when she smiled at him. "Your sister is right. You were under control of a demon, Kohaku. You may be a demon slayer, but you are also only twelve years old. Even people who are older than you get possessed now and then. I did, and I'm supposed to be a Priestess. I don't hold what you did against you, because you never did any of them; someone else did, in your body. It's not your fault."

His eyes widened in surprise. Kohaku, like any brother I would assume, didn't believe the truth when it was told to him by a sibling if he didn't want to believe it. Siblings were supposed to say things that make you feel good. He _could_ believe it when someone that he tried to kill told it to him. Kagome was a bystander, no one of relation to him, who he thought would have hated him. Obviously, he didn't understand Kagome. He didn't understand any of us. We would make sure he did one day.

I placed my hand on Sango's shoulder, and she glanced up at me in surprise. She blushed, and dried her cheeks, still smiling at Kohaku. I grinned at her proudly before looking at Kohaku with equal amounts of pride. "Even other slayers get taken over by demons sometimes." Sango nodded to agree, as it was of her I spoke. "The point is that you try to fight them. As you have gained your memories, you were obviously fighting Naraku. Given that you were still in training when this happened, and how he strong he is, all of us are proud of you. Especially your sister… who seems to have lost all ability to speak. No matter what Naraku made you do, she still loved you, and tried to find a way to save you. You have become someone who is capable of being empathetic, but who is also strong and brave. Your father too, I'm certain, is proud of you."

Kohaku still looked unconvinced, so Inuyasha stepped up behind him and smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Look, kid! It ain't your fault that you did the things you did! So instead of having to listen to all of us say it, can't you just be a man and suck it up? Stop feeling sorry! It isn't your fault you little…."

"_Sit_ Inuyasha!"

He stared as Inuyasha suddenly plummeted into the ground. He looked around at everybody; from Kagome as she yelled at Inuyasha and his lack of tact, at Sango and her happy tears, Shippo and Kirara as he talked proudly to the cat demon about how he'd known everything would have a happy ending, while he sat on her head of all places, and to me, grinning like a fool with my hand on Sango's shoulder and gazing at the reunited family.

He covered his mouth, and I recognized the gesture. Sure enough, he let out a tiny laugh. Even Kagome and Inuyasha stopped fighting when they heard the sound. He looked around at all of us, wearing a grin that I could tell would one day make the ladies yearn for his attention. "I can't believe that all of you are the people stopping Naraku from completing the jewel. I mean… you all just look so… you don't seem like warriors at all, because you all seem like normal people."

Sango hugged him tightly again, but my hand didn't slip from her body. I felt lonely… I wanted to at least imagine that I was a part of this display of love, of reunion and happiness. Sango looked at her brother. "Kohaku, do you know how Naraku is able to control the Shikon shards? We have a speculations, but…."

"No, I'm sorry, but I don't. I can tell you what it feels like, how it…" His shoulders began to shake slightly, but Sango shook her head and corrected her question, stopping him from thinking about the memories of being out of control while in his own body. "Oh. No, I'm sorry. I don't know how he is able to turn the shard off and on."

"Don't worry," his sister told him. "We were just curious. We have an idea, if you want to do it. You'll… you'll more than likely die without the Shikon no Tama shard within you. It almost killed me. I had one too. Naraku wanted me to kill Inuyasha, and to take his sword. The shard that you have has been tainted by Naraku. But we have a few shards that have been purified and still have not been fused together. We can take the one in your shoulder, and put in the pure one that Naraku can't corrupt without getting his slimy hands on them, and then, when we get to a safe place, we'll take that shard out. It will be painful, and long, but I won't leave your side. Then we can be together again, you and me, the last two demon slayers from our village, fighting the man who destroyed our families side by side. The way things are supposed to be."

His brown eyes were horrified, and large in his face. He pulled away from Sango, thinking. She made no move to pressure him into taking up his offer. As much as it had killed me to do so, I had warned Sango that he might not want to agree to her plan. There was always the possibility that he might not want to live with his memories of the things he had done, even though he had never really done them. I had always softened the point by telling her that if I had the choice between losing a few bad memories and gaining my family back again, to live with her, I would always choose her.

Kohaku thought about this for a long time, and then he began to peel off his armor. "Okay," he said simply. I began to loosen my kesa, and knelt down with them, setting down my staff to take out the knife. "I do want to live, Sango. I just… I just don't think that I can fight, not against him, and not beside you."

We all paused, and stared at Sango to see her reaction. Her eyes closed, her body relaxing. She slowly nodded, and when she opened her eyes they were filled with pride for her little brother. Her bottom lip shook. I couldn't begrudge Sango her tears. Even Kagome and Shippo looked a little teary eyed, and they were only bystanders, not Kohaku's sibling. I think the only dry eyes in the house belonged to Kirara, and that was just because cats couldn't cry. Inuyasha and I weren't weeping, but we did feel moved by seeing everything pass, and it was as if the emotions of the people that we love were making us feel what they were.

Taking Sango's hand, he held it tightly. "I have to learn how to conquer the things that are in my head." He looked around at everybody in turn before looking back at his older sister. "Thank you for trying to make everything better, but I can't do that right now. I need to try and learn to come to grasp with the things that happened while I was under Naraku's control. The memories are still there, here, in my head. I… I don't even know if I want to fight anymore. Every time I draw blood, I think of Father's… and yours."

We nodded, all of us understanding, except for Sango. She couldn't process it yet. She was still far too happy to simply have her brother be back, to hold him and talk to him, hear her name fall from his lips.

I stabbed the dagger into my shoulder, then cleaned the dagger off and handed it to Kagome. Sango intercepted it. Her pretty was face was sad. "No. Please… I want to do it. If it hurts, he'll only have me to blame."

Kagome nodded, and Kohaku turned so that Sango could operate on his back. Kagome pointed out the location of the shard, and I turned away. My fingers were becoming coated in my own blood as I dug one of the purified pieces of the Shikon jewel out of my shoulder. Beads of sweat began to form on my forehead, and I was disgusted by the feeling of my blood on my fingers, my fingers touching my own muscles.

I passed the Shikon jewel to Sango. She took it without so much as a glance at me, more concerned about hurting her brother. From him I had heard nothing, not even a grunt. It was a sign of great age… as Kohaku was still young, it was most unnerving. He'd been through more mentally than we could actually comprehend. The shard from Kohaku was given to Kagome, who purified it and gave it back to me. I placed the shard in my shoulder, my wound still hidden under my robes.

Kagome and Sango worked together to quickly cover the wound of Kohaku. Inuyasha and Kirara reappeared. "There's a cave up not too far from here. We're also close enough to a village that we can get some food and supplies." Inuyasha picked up Kohaku, who let out a tiny grunt of pain when his hand accidentally touched the wound in his back. "Sorry," he said simply, carrying Kohaku to the cave of which he spoke.

Kagome, Shippo and Kirara followed him, but Sango remained with me to check on me. She helped me up, and as we were alone, she held my un-blooded hand even after I stood up. Sango gazed up at me, and there was such a feeling of love and pride coming from her meant for _me_ that she didn't need to say anything. I smiled at her weakly, and held her hand a little tighter.

Unable to find words to thank me properly, she merely smiled at first, and kept staring at me. As she did so, she started looking more and more like she was going to burst into happy tears again. Before she could, she dropped her hand and just gave me giant hug. I wouldn't have minded much, especially since the reason why she was giving me a hug was because I had just helped give back to her the most important thing she had. I had helped the give her back a family. But my shoulder…

I wanted to wrap my arms around her, and tell her how much I loved her, but I had come to have such intense feelings, that nothing I knew could attain a level even close to how much I loved Sango. No poetry was sweeter, no hand softer and nothing I knew had felt so wonderful.

However, her head landed on my shoulder, straight on my open wound. My body tensed, and I let out a grunt from the surprise of the pain suddenly burning there. Sango peeled away, and her eyes caught my hand. The blood was actually dripping off my fingernails. I felt as demonic as Inuyasha for half a second when I realized how much blood I had actually shed, until I recalled that I had shed it myself. Then I felt nauseous.

"Miroku!" Sango immediately chided. She let go of me, and glared up at me. She was suddenly so mad at me that she didn't apologize for accidentally hurting me. The glare lessoned into an expression of pure concern. "How badly did you have to cut yourself to get out that shard?" I didn't answer her question, and the glare was back. "Take off your robes."

"Sango…."

"I said to take off your robes!" she repeated, mad with me. She was mad with me not because I hadn't complied, but because I was denying her assistance. She wanted nothing more than to check my injuries for herself, and I was denying her that. Worse, I had been about to do so by lying. The happy Sango that had held her brother against her heart and wept had been replaced with the professional one who cared for me.

We sat by the edge of the road, Sango holding the first aid kit she'd gotten from Kagome on her lap. She had been unnerved to catch up to the others and find that Kohaku was unconscious, until she realized he was merely asleep, worn out from his surgery and everything else that had occurred in such a small time line. I slowly worked at undoing my robes.

"Do you want me to do it for you?" I looked down at her, wondering if she was trying to pick a fight with me. She quickly apologized. "It's just," Sango continued to explain, "that one of your hands is covered in blood, which has to make it hard to use, and you keep on wincing. I'm not saying that you need my help, it's just there if you'd like it."

I stopped failing at undressing myself, and my arms fell back down to my sides. Sango reached over and undid them for me. Had it not been in the professional manner we used when we were fighting, it would have been a dream come true. She pulled the robes over my head, and let out a miniscule gasp when she saw the wound in my shoulder. Kagome would have called it "quarter-sized", and it seemed to be an inch deep. Mostly circular, the tips of the jewel shards were slightly visible in the jagged skin. Of course I had to dig them out, I couldn't just get them out.

She touched the edge of the wound with more gentleness than I had expected given that she had done everything else so professionally. "Miroku…" She pulled out a clean cloth and began to wipe down the blood on my chest. "You didn't tell me that it would be so bad."

"Had I told you that I had placed them deep enough into my body so that no well-placed slice might cause them to slip out and be used for evil purposes, you might have been hesitant to use the shards that I have. I wouldn't have wanted you to give up your brother just because you were a little afraid to make me go through a little pain. It doesn't hurt, and it will heal soon."

"I'm sorry that I had to ask you to do this," she said, pulling out the gauze to bind my wound.

Catching her hand, I pulled her up and kissed her hard on the mouth, trying to stifle such silly arguments. She blushed as she pulled away, and quickly finished binding my wounds. After packing, Sango stared at me a second longer, her blush deepening when her gaze went to my chest. I loved the small ways that she looked at me, that being one of them. She handed me back my robes, and hidden in the action, her hand lingered on mine.

"Miroku-sama." I had a wince at the name. She only did that in public, or when she was being perfectly serious. It was the gentle expression in her eyes, the one that made me wonder how someone who has seen, lived, and fought through so much, can still look at someone as if they are pure and untouched and… and _happy_.

It amazes me that she look _at me_ like that.

"Miroku-sama, I promise you that once this battle is over, I'll give you a family the way that today, you've helped to give me back mine."

The pain in my shoulder was suddenly non-existent as I smiled at her. Telling her I knew that, I leaned down as if to kiss her and instead cupped her buttock in my hand, rubbing the curve gently. Sango froze, and then she looked up at me and found that I was grinning not just lecherously, but like an idiot in general. A perfect moment, ruined by my perversion. Sango picked up my staff in the dirt for me, and handed it to me… though not before she used it to smack me.

I had to grope, you see. Any response I had given her could have been perceived the wrong way. Had I said 'I love you', she might have come to mean it as that I loved her because she had promised me a family once again. Had I told her that I knew she would, it either would have sounded perverted, or like I had done what I had done merely as a trade, a family for a family.

I had helped Kohaku simply because I wanted to, because it was something I _could_ do. It wasn't even to make Naraku mad, or to make Sango happy, I just did it because a human being needed to be helped.

I did it because it had been the right thing to do.


	23. Intimacy

Dressing Wounds

"Oh, wilt though leave me so unsatisfied?"

"What satisfaction canst though have tonight?"

-Romeo and Juliet… like I'm a geek enough to know what lines…

(But I'm damn sure it's Act II, sc ii!)

AN: Well, I've been taking time off lately for fan fiction, because they make me feel better. Like rereading Splintered Coral so I can remember the plot and stuff. And I also had time to finish another chapter. So here's chapter twenty-three. And after this, I really, really will work on my essays. (You people have to make me work on my essays!)

Siren: I love Kohaku too… which is why I feel so bad when it's an episode on tv about Sango and Kohaku and I get mad that I can't have an MS momwnts…

Fireblade: I wonder how many times that will happen in their future? They seemed to have gotten into a pattern here, ne?

B4By: One of my longest. But… as it's for Sango and Miroku, I will not complain about the many hours sitting at my computer looking at fluffy pictures or reading spoilers or the vast amounts of caffeine I had to intake.

Aamalie: PoF doormat? I don't like the sound of that… I also enjoy the explanation. I mean… where DID those shards go? Where is he really keeping them? How did he get them? It makes you wonder!

Snow-Queen: I would gladly write an advice column… if I knew of any advice to give.

Soli-chan: Don't sell yourself short, and don't want my grades in English class. A? Ha! (Well, in high school, but that's beside the point…) I think the word your looking for is endearing. Miroku is endearing. And I want a class where I can write a fan fic in… oh wait… did that in creative writing. For my own characters. Would fan fics for you own characters still be a fan fic? …That's also beside the point! I am also a big dork, and I can't remember what notes I made… but I made them! ::nods::

JadeGoddess: They do keep on telling us that Kohaku needs the shard to live. So they took the evil shard out of him and he now has a pure shard in his back… one Naraku can't corrupt! So he's out of Naraku's hands! ::cheers:: But they deal with Kohaku more in the chapter. I couldn't let the poor kid die! So, my theory is this: Hello! They have a girl from the future with them! With a pure shard, and with medicines from the future, wouldn't they be able to heal him?

Furi: I can't tell you what the idea is yet. It's still in it's developing stage… I like making plots slightly complicated (BTW, there's still a complication in this one… guess what it is! I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised.) And we also deal with your other question in this chapter: what _would_ Kohaku say?...

Looser-ville: Three chapters to go, then it ends. I quite like the last chapter, but chapter 24 isn't done yet…

Demon Exterminator: I still maintain I found my sexy monk. We had our first fight last night. I ate a third of a box of cookies because he made me feel bad. But I made him feel bad, so he ate meat. I think I like my cookies better. And biology rocks… but, damn, I can't wait to finish my essays!

Quistis: Hey, I'm only using what Takahashi is giving me to work with…

Ninalee-chan: If that's true, then wait until the last chapter of the sequel! grins cruelly

Spike of Doom: working on the professional author thing… ::nudges her works under the bed where they can sleep for a bit before being mercilessly edited::

Akira: Please, don't get caught. I'd feel bad if I got you in trouble. But it's _very_ nice to know that a guy is reading my works. And in all honesty, I wish I could write more complicated plots. Fan fiction… is my experiment grounds. I'm glad that the things I am doing are met with such enthusiasm, especially from both sexes.

Aprill May: You are not inadequate. I'm inadequate for not doing my homework. Everyone feels that way when they read something that knocks their socks off. I feel it all the time. I was actually green with jealousy when I read a fic by Queenizzay and Aamalie. What we ourselves write or do is never good enough, and as frustrating as it is for people like you and me, April, it means we keep on trying harder to reach the level we want. No one is ever inadequate. ::poke:: We're just taking a breather from trying to be perfect at what we love best.

Without any more ado, here's chapter twenty-three… Enjoy, and thank you for your kind comments. They are always appreciated.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Intimacy 

Miroku walked into one of the crevices of the large cavern system we had found, this particular alcove holding Kohaku and myself. He brought with him Kirara, who rode on his broad shoulder, and a glass of water. Miroku sat down next to me, turning enough so that he could see me. "How is Kohaku?"

"Sleeping," I replied. "He's slept just about all day today, but his strength is finally returning. He started moving in his sleep, and for the first time, his wounds didn't reopen even the slightest from his movements. I don't think Kohaku will be with us very much longer, not if he still wants to go out on his own."

"Kohaku isn't the only one who's in need of some sleep," he sternly pointed out. His pointed expression turned gentle when he handed me the water. "You should get some sleep while you can. I'm here; I can watch over him and wake you up if anything changes, or if he wakes up." His hand covered mine, briefly. "I don't begrudge you the time you've been spending with your brother, but since you've been spending _all_ your time with him, I can't help but feel a little…."

I cut him off accidentally, when I suddenly pulled my hand out from under his. I placed my hands in my lap, folding them together so that he couldn't touch me anymore. Nor was this the proper time for admitting things. I knew what he was going to say, and part of me missed him deeply as well, to the point where I felt like going and sitting next to him while he slept just for a moment, so that I would know he was healthy, remember the way he smelled and the sound of his breathing as he slumbered.

His eyes looked just a little wounded when I suddenly pulled away from him. I knew I should make some kind of attempt at mending my error, but I didn't know what to do. I would talk to him, most certainly. Talking was important. But I would talk to him later on, when we were alone, without Kirara or Kohaku around.

Passing me the glass of water, he managed to smile slightly. "Kirara told me that you hated affection in public, and part of me was already aware of that, though it seems I greatly misjudged how against it you actually are. Sango, we're hardly the center of attention! Your brother is completely asleep, and Kirara, I'm sure, doesn't care. As a cat-demon she would have a completely different view about things like affection in public than you or I do. Why does the idea of me touching you in public bother you so much?"

I was about to make a snappy comment about him and groping me, but I knew that wasn't fair. He'd groped me two weeks ago, back when I promised to give him a family the same way he had given one to me, but he had barely even touched me since then. Namely because I hadn't given him the chance, but I knew what he meant when he said touching.

Thinking about the question, I sipped at the water he had been kind enough to bring me. "I believe that actions such as being physical with each other should be done within the privacy of one's home, and if not there, then at least someplace where no one can hear you or see you."

"And if we were talking about having sex with you on a street corner, then I might have to agree with you," he teased. "I just don't seen what the problem is with wanting to put my arm around your body, or hold your hand, or kiss you, or have you do any of the same to me. What is it, Sango? Is it that you still don't feel comfortable with showing people that you're with me, or that you don't feel comfortable with simply being physical, or is it even me and you don't like the way I hold you or something?"

"Can we talk about this later?" I demanded sourly.

"I'd prefer talking about this now." Miroku was very quick in answering; apparently this really was a topic that meant a lot to him.

Sighing, I thought. "Can't we just blame it on a fear of public nudity or something? I know it's not the third choice. I suppose that it could be part of the other two, if you add on 'in public' to the middle choice. I suppose that it could be something left over from when I was younger and I had to go sneaking around to kiss guys I liked." Then I suddenly realized how much of an insult it could be to Miroku to tell him that I didn't feel comfortable showing people that I was with him, that we were together. "Oh no, Miroku! It's… it's nothing like _that_, nothing… nothing really bad or anything. Please, just, let me think and say what I want before you start taking offense and we get into another fight because I really don't like it when we fight."

At that confession his face softened and he looked at Kohaku, watching him sleep with a kind of longing that I couldn't understand. I made a note to ask him about it.

Why did I not want the world to know that I was with him, when I loved him so much it seemed to hurt at times, like I loved him so much there wasn't enough room for everyone in my heart, and it was going to shatter? Why? Because it put him in danger from demons, being the lover of a demon slayer? He could take care of trouble himself. Because people saw the monk and thought that I could be some type of whore he took pity on, or a slut who snuck into his bed and corrupted him? No wonder Inuyasha was usually so averted to hanging out in towns if that was some of the prejudice he was faced with when people saw him alone with Kagome, and no doubt being only half-human made it ten times worse!

"Occasionally, being touched too much makes me feel… trapped. It's similar to when we were trying to figure out how you should best court me. I thought that I wanted to be seduced, as you put it, but I rather preferred being romanced. Likewise, I like it when we touch, but yet doing so in public makes me feel sometimes as if I'm being put on display. I know that when you hold your hand or put your arm around me, you're not trying to say that I'm 'yours' or trying to… to keep me by your side as if I were a puppy, but it _feels_ to _me_ like you are. I guess that's just because I'm not used to it. So my fears are unwarranted, they just need to be…" I thought, and then smiled at him. "Thawed out."

"Why in the world would I you think that I… Sango." I winced at his tone of suspicion. "Are you thinking that way because that's why you would hold on to me if we were in public?"

"Ah… yes." I could feel his surprise when he seemed to jump away from me. It was not a good sign. I stopped staring into my glass and I looked instead at him, my bangs just hiding the tips of very ashamed brown eyes. "Depending on what type of company we were in, yes, I would make sure I was touching you for that very purpose."

I was amazed to find that there was a hint of interest in his violet-grey eyes. "What type of company is that?"

"The one that's mostly female. It would be an attempt to remind you to control that wandering hand of yours." _Or at least remind you whose butt it's supposed to grope!_ I thought to myself. "Also, to keep other women from trying to seduce _you_. Women are surprisingly aggressive and shrewish when it comes to males. You're such a good looking specimen that I'm afraid that women might try to take you from me. I'm not saying that they would succeed, just that they would try, and then I would get jealous and might even make a big commotion. It's just best to skip over the whole thing and just tell them through body language that you are unavailable. Yet at the same time that I would hate for you to treat me like that, the idea of having a protector, of being proud of the person that you love…" Kohaku stirred, and I waited to finish until I was certain he was still asleep. "It is kind of flattering."

Miroku merely scratched his head. "Women confuse me sometimes…"

I chuckled lightly. "Try being one in your next lifetime."

"Sango, I respect your concerns, but we have to make allowances for each other, especially if you were serious about accepting my offer of marriage. You will always be able to move out of my grasp, to let go of my hand if you really don't want to be affectionate with each other in public, but I would like to be able to do it at least once or twice without you always pulling away with me as if you were disgusted by me. On this topic, please, try to change. I mean, what if I took you out for supper one day? Are you saying that I couldn't brush your hair away from your face, or hold your hand across the table, or give you a kiss at the end of the night, or even carry you into our house?"

"You've really put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?" I inquired, arching a suspicious eye his way. It was met with a charming smile. I thought for a moment, and then I eyed his lap. It did look very comfortable, and I was really tired. I finished off the water and then dried my mouth with the tips of my fingers, my eyes still on his knees. "So you're saying that right now, if I wanted to lie down in your lap and take a tiny little nap, you would find that an acceptable agreement?"

He leaned down close and smiled. "I would find it more than acceptable if you stopped treating it as if we were in a business agreement rather than in love." He kissed my cheek. "Yes, Sango, that's the kind of thing I meant."

Blushing a bright red, I wriggled down on the hard ground and placed my head on his knee, wrapping the arm farthest from the ground around it to secure my fleshy pillow. Instantly, I relaxed and began falling asleep as soon as I closed my eyes. Miroku shifted, and a warm blanket fell over me. I recognized the feeling of it as his _kesa_. I snuggled into it, and my other hand snuck around my body to entwine my fingers with those of the hand that had fallen on my bicep.

I barely heard him tell me goodnight before I was fast asleep.

-

Movement awakened me. I looked up first to Miroku, and found him leaning against the wall of the cavern, sleeping soundly. I smiled softly at the sight before I turned my face the other way and found brown eyes staring up at me intently. My smile grew. I let go of Miroku's leg to place a finger to my lips, indicating to be quiet, in case we woke Miroku. "Feeling better?"

Kohaku nodded. "I don't think it will be too much longer until I'm able to go off on my own, though I will be sorry to leave you so soon." His eyes slipped up to Miroku, a certain amount of clarity telling me he knew who Miroku was, and a spark of empathy when his eyes fell on the gloved hand linked with my own. It vanished when he actually took note that my hand was actually linked with his. I felt myself blush, but I didn't remove my hand from his, using the pathetic excuse that it was too comfortable. Really, it was just that I needed some kind of comfort, needed to show Kohaku that I would be okay because I had someone, but I didn't know to tell him that with words. Then I just needed to find a way to make it clear that I still loved him as well, to prove –to both of us- that I had room in my heart for Kohaku _and_ Miroku.

"How long has it been?" he inquired.

"I don't even think I can remember. It feels like forever. We started off just really talking, getting away from the others and having conversations with each other. It was really nice. Miroku is a good conversationalist. Then we started kissing, and we go off to talk and maybe kiss. When we were alone, we'd even sleep beside each other to stay warm. He's really not as lecherous as the stories about him make him sound. Do you know how he got the kazaana?" Kohaku nodded. "Well, contrary to belief, I think the perversion lessens in each generation. He really can be a gentleman at times, but usually he's just perverted because… it's kind of amusing watching him act proud and then get shot down by girls, and his wonderful facial expressions."

Kohaku thought about this. "He makes you smile."

"All the time. I can't help but smile when I'm around him. I can still be professional and everything, but I'm just… happy, all the way to the pit of my stomach, I'm happy. It's a different kind of happiness then when I'm with you, but also kind of the same. We want to protect each other, keep each other happy, it just… _feels_ differently. I hope that one day you'll find a girl who will make you feel the same way that way you can understand me."

Reaching out with my free hand, I held his, so that I was holding on to the two most important men in my life. "Kohaku, because I was spending time with Miroku, it doesn't mean that I love you any less, or that I wasn't trying hard to try and save you." I felt my eyes start to water, and I yelled at myself to stop crying. I didn't want to wake Miroku, or ruin his pants, but my body didn't listen. I always get far too emotional when I'm on my period… actually, I just have trouble _not_ crying. When I see something wrong the world, I always want to fix it, and cry over it. If I don't shed tears for the dead or the missing, then who will? At least, that's what I always told myself. "For the longest time when I was with Miroku, even when we were just talking, I felt incredibly selfish. I felt as if I were using Miroku to fill the hole in my heart until you came back to me."

"But I'm back here now, and you still hold on to him," he interrupted. "So what changed?" He was curious, his brown eyes so eager that I completely forgot that at one point I was actually worried that he might be mad at me for loving Miroku while he was missing. "Did you fall in love with him?"

I nodded, and he grinned. "I thought that I was merely replacing some part of me that was lost when everyone left me. Instead it turned out that I was just… falling in love with him, until it felt like I always loved him."

"When did it happen?"

I laughed very quietly. I don't recall if I was smiling or not, but I remember that I felt so happy and carefree I could have risen to the top of our little alcove. "I don't remember. I know that I loved him for a very long time, but I didn't want to say anything. I think I was in love with him since the very beginning, I just didn't know that I loved him until I was forced to fight him one day, after I had been taken over by a demon. That's when I knew I loved him. When he'd given up the opportunity to have a child with some other girl, because he only wanted to have a family with me. So, I promised him I would have a family with him. But my door is always opened for you, Kohaku."

"Of course it is. I'm your little brother." I recognized the incredulous expression on his face. It was identical to my own. "Sango, were you seriously thinking that I would be jealous of Miroku, or that I would think that just because you have somebody else that you would forget all about me?"

I smiled weakly. "That's just how the minds of big sisters work, Kohaku." Our hands tightened.

"In all honesty, I am kind of jealous of him though. Well, jealous of you, of what you two have. How much do you love him?"

Thinking of the conversation we'd had about children, I knew then how much I really did love him. "Completely and unconditionally." I would never love anybody else the way that I loved him. It was true. Every ounce of me loved him, and loved every ounce of him. No matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find a fault, because the ones he had had either been curbed and I had gotten used to them, or had balanced some part of me.

His hand tightened around mine for a moment. I blushed, moving my cheek against his leg as I looked down at the ground. Was Miroku actually awake? Had he heard everything I had intended only for my brother? I wished that I could have looked at him when I told him how much I loved him. Still, it was nice to know that he knew.

"See, I hope I can find that some day," Kohaku said. He said it with so much longing that I released my hand from his and pulled his mat close, so that he was lying next to me. I wrapped my hand around his chest, resting it on his deltoid, and I told him that I loved him. Then I laughed and said that if a pervert like Miroku could find a girl that loved him, a good kid like him would have so many women he wouldn't know what to do.

-

Kohaku stayed with us for four more days. The rest was good for us all, and I got to spend time with my brother, but I was sad to see him go. For a few hours after that, I felt lost, and just wandered aimlessly about, Kirara on my shoulder and talking to me now and then. Every time I turned around, there was Miroku watching out for me. Eventually, I sat on a rock and was still, and he came down to join me.

"Would you like to spar?" he offered. "You seem restless. Wouldn't some physical exercise do you good?"

I shook my head. Yes, physical exercise would be good, but… I didn't really want to fight. I wanted to talk. It seemed like Miroku's nature was starting to rub off on me a little bit. "I should be happy, Miroku. My brother is out there somewhere, and he's free and alive and well. Instead I find myself wondering when I'm going to get to see him again. Or if I even am going to see him again. Maybe he'll find some woman somewhere and be as happy as I am with you, and I would never know. I _should_ be happy, so why am do I feel so lost?"

"Maybe it's because we've been fighting toward this goal for so long, that part of you wonders if you should leave us and go after Kohaku." My head whipped around to see him, and he patted my hand. "I wasn't trying to offend you or anything, Sango, if I did accidentally, but it is the truth. You were fighting Naraku to save your brother, and now he is saved. Maybe you feel lost because you don't have a path anymore. Your goal has ended. Your brother is safe. So now you can either wander around aimlessly until you find another little path, and maybe you can resume being a demon slayer again and hunt all sorts of demons instead of simply Naraku. Or you can stay in the same direction you were before, and carve out a new path for yourself."

"It just surprised me that you actually suggest that I would leave fighting Naraku just because my goal is accomplished. I still want to fight him, I have to put an end to the way that he's used people." My fingers toyed with his. He had such nice hands. I stared down at them, touching it lightly, exploring the way the touch of his skin changed from his fingers to his palm to the back of his hands. "Maybe it already happened."

"Pardon?"

Reaching up, I placed my hand against his cheek. "Maybe we're already walking the same path, and it just took me a moment to realize it. I want to fight beside you, Miroku. I want to defeat Naraku with you, and have children with you, and train with you… I can't even wait until the kazaana is gone so that I can feel your whole hand. Touching it as it now always kind of scares me a little, because I'm afraid that there's not going to be any skin underneath the fabric, and it's going to feel like you aren't there."

He moved slightly, so that his lips brushed my skin when he talked. "So that's why you never touch the palm of that hand." I nodded. "You know, once I told Inuyasha and Kagome that I didn't want to work with them because I was used to working by myself. In fact, I even competed with Inuyasha to get more Shikon shards than he. Sometimes I think of what might have happened if I didn't hang around with them, and the thought of a life without you disturbs me. Personally, something tells me that we might have been on this same path together for a very long time. Tell me, if I were just an ordinary monk, would you still love me?"

"I hope I would. I really hope I would." My voice lowered, and I leaned closer to him. "Miroku, do you remember that night we sparred in front of Kagome and Inuyasha? Do you remember the night we spent out in the woods together? Do you remember the town the mountains, and how once you asked me to tell you what I fantasized about when I thought of you? Lately, I've been thinking about making each other feel like that again." I pulled my hair out of its ponytail, and when it fell past my shoulders and he began to brush it, I wondered why I had ever cut it. I gulped. I wanted to try speaking from the heart the way he had told me to do, but I was uncertain if it would succeed.

"I want to drown myself in you, Miroku. I took a detour, and now I can't remember where I am. Help me find myself again. Help me lose my pain. Touch me and make me feel like I'm flying. I feel like I'm starving to hear your voice seducing me, to be warmed by your touch, to have my heart beat faster when you look at me as if I'm the only thing in the world."

His eyes widened. "You learn quickly."

Letting out a tiny giggle, the hand on his cheek began to stroke it, slowly leading his face down to mine. "I had a good teacher."

Miroku gave me a quick kiss on my lips, covering my hand and pulling it away from his face. "Sango, I can't do that. I want to, believe me. However, I can't do it right now because you're not in your right state of mind. You're feeling lonely, and you're longing for the wrong kind of affection. Listen, I envy your brother because with him, everything is so simple. You kiss and hug him because you're siblings. Now that you're uncertain about when you might next see that kind of affection, you're replacing it with the next best thing, which is me." He took a deep breath, trying to think. "Sex can't fill the hole in your heart left by your worry. If I did anything with you right now, you might regret it later and hold it against me, because you would think that I had taken advantage of your loneliness."

I shook my head fiercely. No matter what he said, I was perfectly sound of mind. "I just want to be reminded that I'm loved! Part of why I love you is because you love me, and that was the one thing I always wanted in my life. I wanted to be loved. Now we've taken things to an intimate level, and I like it. I…I only thought that two people who love each other can make each other feel that way, but I won't lie. The first time you made me… um, orgasm, I felt like a slut. I felt as if I had allowed myself to be reduced to some sort of form of entertainment, because I was sacred to admit how I really felt. Now I can. I love you, Miroku. I just want to prove to you how much I love by being intimate with you."

"Than the next time you ask me, I won't deny you intimacy," he promised. "However, tonight I can't. I can't until I know that you're doing it simply because it's something we can do. Otherwise, I'll end up feeling the same way that you did. I'll end up feeling like the only reason why we are intimate is because you need reassurance, and I want to be your husband, not someone you can turn to just to feel good. Next time, Sango, that we are walking down the street and it's a normal day and you ask me to go off into the woods with you, I will gladly do whatever you want, wherever you want. But until you can come to me in happiness, or when I want it, or when we just are together because we can be, I can't be with you when you're sad. Sex isn't a miracle cure. Tomorrow you would still be just as hurt and worried, and you might end up being mad at me because it would have felt like I had taken advantage of you. Understand?"

I nodded meekly. How could he be so stern and gentle at the same time? I looked up at him hopefully. "Can you at least hold me when we sleep tonight?"

He wrapped his arm around me. "That, Sango, I can always do." Then he kissed me, just a gentle kiss purely for the reason that he could kiss me, and I knew he had been right.

Yes, he could be quite a gentleman at times.


	24. Bluffing

Dressing Wounds

AN: Well, I got two essays done today—my back is killing me from being at the computer for 7 hours straight, but I'll live—so I figured I would celebrate with a post. Maybe even work a bit on the sequel… No I only have one more essay and a 40 minute presentation on Marcus Aurelius to do and I can start studying for exams… that's depressing, isn't it? Oh well. What's even more depressing, is that this story is almost finished. I was having so much fun writing this story! I'm sad to see it grow up. ::sniffles::

All those who agree with Aamalie and I that Kohaku will be a bishie when he grows up? ::counts hands:: Yup, that settles it. It must be the freckles!

Lily Thorne: We all miss things. Once, I wrote an essay on an exam on the wrong topic. That was mortifying! I hope I never have to deal with that again!

B4By: In all honesty… I prefer being the one doing the cuddling. While in movies it can be quite satisfying, there are also times when seeing that makes me get jealous. I miss my boyfriend, you see. And even if I didn't have a boyfriend, I grave physical affection. Nope, I want to be the person doing the cuddling.

Siren: No! Have Miroku _and_ be a vampire! Think of the possibilities! drools

Jade Goddess: Kohaku ran off to be alone, not to go back to Naraku. Nuh-huh. Kohaku got of scotch free.

AJ: Yea… A's… that what I get in English class….

This chapter is made possible by Mikaila, who gave me the inspiration—and, I am proud to say, the permission—for this comedic interlude. It's based on her fan art, at the Kumo No Su website.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Bluffing

"Are you feeling any better?" Kagome asked, kneeling beside Inuyasha. Her blue eyes checked for signs of healing or deterioration under his red pants, and when he made no comment it was followed by her hand.

Inuyasha let out such a sound of pain that Shippo had to cover his ears. When it subsided, all we heard was his fierce growl. "Listen, woman, if I wanted you to go doctoring me, I would have given you an answer! But I didn't give you answer because I don't want your help! I don't _need_ your help for my leg to get better. To make matters worse, you are all keeping me cooped up in the same cave that we've already been in for the last who-knows-how-long-anymore, and I want out! All I do is stare at the ceiling and it's _boring_!"

Kagome huffed herself up. "Well, I'm sorry that I don't provide you more amusement! I'm only doing it because contrary to what you may think walking on your leg right now would be really bad for it and I don't want to see you in anymore pain than you're already in." Kagome paused briefly when there was a crash to the ground, from the direction of Shippo where he was climbing in Kagome's bags and digging around, also bored. (I, of course, was meditating and thus ignored these loud disturbances.)

Any fight that was about to ensue was stopped when Shippo rolled out of the bag, holding a small empty box in one hand and a stack of thick papers in the other. "Kagome?" he asked, his fluffy tail flickering as he sniffed and tested the paper, trying to figure out what they did. "What are these?"

"Oh!" she cried. "That's my deck of cards! I forgot that Mom packed this for me. She thought they would occupy me at times like these, where someone has been injured." Inuyasha let out a tiny 'feh' to declare that he was, in fact, _not_ injured, even though we'd all seen the bear demon take a giant chunk out of his leg. "Inuyasha, I can teach you how to play a card game. We could play as big group, or I could teach you how to play solitaire, that way you can play by yourself."

This was what snapped me out of my meditation. I looked over to Kagome, Inuyasha, and Kagome. "Those cards, is that what you use to play that game you told me about last week, the one where you take off clothes if you lose?"

"Yup!"

This was one of those times that Sango would have told me that I should be ashamed of how I thought. "Kagome, would you play such a game with me?"

Suddenly Inuyasha had a lot more energy and my head hurt from where he had punched me. "Pardon me for making it seem rude," I said as I rubbed my head. "I would simply be interested into learning how to play beyond what Kagome told me last week. You are more than welcome to join us, Inuyasha. It would b a break form our usual mundane life, and I'm sure that you wouldn't mind seeing Kagome willingly lose some of her clothes."

He thought about it, looking grumpier than normal, as if there was an internal struggle whether or not to admit that the idea of Kagome being partially nude was appealing. "Feh." He went back to his seat, and Kagome and I took this as an acceptance. Kagome did it with some mixed feelings, judging by her face.

"Great!" The sounds of the moving rings of my staff announced that I was getting up. "I'll go and find Sango and see if she wants to play as well."

Leaving Kagome to start explaining how this game called "strip poker" worked, I ran off to find Sango, feeling like I was a child again. This was going to be a wonderful charade. I laughed loudly as I walked, thinking that this would be the perfect way to start getting Sango more familiar with public displays of affection. If she were half-naked in front of our friends, then afterwards the idea of kissing in front of them would be simple.

Due to all the noise I was making, it would be truthful to say that Sango and Kirara found me. I could tell from the crispness of her pink cheeks and the way her shoulder sagged slightly that she'd been exercising. I could also tell that she had exercised to the point that she had just about physically exhausted herself. I think that she was still working out pent-up feelings about Kohaku, and I only hoped that she wasn't mad at me for not being with her the way she had asked.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Oh, Kagome is going to play a card game with myself and Inuyasha. We were hoping that you might want to come and play with us." Before she could answer, I took her hand, and looked at her in that face I had come to master, the one akin to Shippo when he was begging for sweets. I couldn't help but use it. Sango made me feel young, lighthearted even. Everyone, including her, might think that I was really just lighthearted in general to try and ease the idea that I might die soon, but with her, it just came naturally. I felt like a silly eight year old who became giddy at the idea of kissing a girl he liked and who was immature enough to chase her around trying to do something to her he knew she didn't like.

This is exactly how I first started courting her, incidentally.

"Please," I said, "say you'll join us."

Sango sighed, and I saw her start to smile. "All right, I'll join you."

I widened my eyes in surprise. "I… you will? Wow. I thought I might have to try and persuade you." Sango began to ask what type of game we were going to be playing if it was something I needed to trick her into playing, but I cut her off before she could make any allegations. "Sango, please, trust me a little bit. Kagome will explain the game to you in more detail, but the game itself is fairly easy. You just have to try and get the highest combination of cards possible, and even if you don't actually have it, you have to lie—they call it a bluff—to make it appear as if you do. The winner gets bragging rights, and all the losers, have to remove one article of clothing."

Making sure to say it very fast so that by the time she figured out what I said… ah, well, never mind. My attempt to confuse her was foiled when she looked at me as if I had asked her to do something completely and utterly ridiculous. She thought about it a moment, and then with a shrug she said, "Okay." She saw my obvious shock, and explained gently. "If everyone else is doing it and not me, they'd say I was bringing down the atmosphere by not participating. Besides, it sounds as if it could be fun. I don't think I've ever played a game where you were allowed to lie. Besides… _I'm_ not going to lose."

"Oh, is that so? Is that a challenge, Sango-chan?" I demanded, poking her lightly in the rocks.

She drew herself up straighter and moved closer to me. Her face looked beautifully sly. "I believe it is… and I can't believe that you just called me that. Shall we seal the deal with a kiss? I'd suggest for the loser to have to do something for the winner, but wouldn't being naked be enough of an embarrassment?"

I did seal our deal with a quick kiss. I rubbed her back as we started walking back to the campsite, and I was pleased when she didn't shy away from my touch. "I'm glad to see that you're feeling better. Does this mean that you have no hard feelings about yesterday?"

Sango shook her head no. "I can understand your reasoning, and I am definitely glad that you did what you did. I apologize for even asking in the first place. It was out of line. That's why tonight I was thinking, since it was a normal day, would you maybe like just to… well, I was hoping we could be together like we were at the hot springs before Inuyasha and Kagome interrupted us."

As we were nearing the campsite, the hand on the small of her back pressed lightly, and she followed my guide to turn around and face me. I kissed her forehead, taking a moment to smell her hair, and wishing I could hold her close. "That sounds wonderful Sango." I only wished that she was asking me to join her for a rendez-vous because she wanted to spend time with me, and not because she wanted to prove to herself and to me that she could be with me anytime she liked, as long as we were in private.

That was something I was going to have to work on changing. Perhaps if we were allowed to meet in the woods in the same state of undress as we were when the game ended, that might make everything more entertaining, and the more comfortable Sango became with herself, and myself, then the more we might actually be able to be physical in public. And, obviously, the more intimate we could be once we were married.

I was so busy simply staring at her and wishing, that I didn't notice my staring had turned into a longing gaze until Sango leaned up and kissed my cheek, sliding out of my grasp. "I love you too, Miroku."

Leaving me outside, to take up the rear and to remember fondly the times when I would take such a moment to grope her, I sighed and entered the cavern.

Kagome was in the middle of explaining things to Inuyasha, and when Sango announced that she was joining, Kagome had to start all over. Finally, after many comments as 'I see' from Sango and 'feh' from Inuyasha, everyone understood the rules and concept of the game. The rules: too complicated for me to write here. The concept: don't lose.

Shippo looked around, his fluffy tail still. "Wait! That's _it_? We just sit around talking and losing clothes? Why?" He pulled up his shirt to demonstrate. "It's just skin. There's nothing wrong with being naked, so why don't you just skip the whole game and get naked?"

That was a question I had asked myself many times.

Oddly, it was Inuyasha who answered. "It's an adult thing, Shippo. When you're a little kid, sure, running around buck naked isn't a problem at all because nobody cares. However, as you grow up, you learn to respect your privacy, and that includes the privacy of the body. You have to protect it, so people like Sango and I wear armor. Girls have to cover up to keep from giving guys like Miroku constant nosebleeds, and guys like Miroku have to wear it cover up the fact that the girls don't need to be naked for him too get an …"

I slammed my staff down on his head, and sighed. I looked down at the little fox cub. "He's over exaggerating and thinking perversely, but that is actually quite true. When you are young, like you, there isn't that much difference between male and females, minus the genitalia. However, once people reach puberty, their bodies become different. It is because of these differences that people wear clothes, to hide themselves from prying eyes, as true as it is. Also, it is true that clothes, even those that Kagome wears, have some defensive properties. Many people, when they become adults, do not like to be seen that way except by certain individuals, people whom they trust explicitly, for instance. So this game is interesting, because it shows trust, and because it means that people…"

"Actually," Kagome shyly spoke up. "I know that I was the one that started this whole thing by telling you about the game, Miroku, but I don't feel quite comfortable in front of being naked in front of everybody here." I understood; Kagome and Sango would have already seen each other naked from changing and bathing together, and we all knew how Inuyasha and Kagome felt about each other, therefore she had to be referring about me. I have played the role of the perverted monk so masterfully even Kagome is wary of me. "Why don't we get mostly naked, down to, you know, underwear, and then we just show one person? That way the idea of the game is intact, no one can say that they were cheated, but the losers can still feel like they retained some dignity."

Everyone agreed, except for Shippo. He said the game still sounded stupid, so he simply curled up with Kirara on a spare mat, occasionally looking up now and then throughout the evening to see what was taking place. Kagome dealt the first hand, and told Inuyasha to start, as he was sitting left of the dealer.

He tossed down to cards and took two more. I was next. I held in my hand two wild cards and a pair already. I threw down the one card, hoping to get a full house or a 5 pair, though I wasn't sure if five of a kind could actually work. I got back the two of clubs, which did absolutely nothing for me. Sango went next. She discarded three cards, and smiled when she got the new ones. Kagome, like me, replaced only one card.

Next came the bidding. Inuyasha bet three stones. I matched his bet. Sango raised one stone, and Kagome matched. We did this betting a total of three more times, until we had a pile of stones in front of us. Kagome was the first to fold, not daring to match Sango's raise of five stones, making the total bet fifteen. Inuyasha matched, and when it came my turn, I stared long and hard at Sango.

I smirked. "I don't think that you have a strong enough hand to beat mine." I threw in five more stones.

Sango calmly put down her cards on the ground, face down. "You're right, Miroku-sama. I probably don't." Even now I find myself wondering what she had in her hand.

Only Inuyasha and I were left. He added in my raise, and called. There was no talk to try and psych me out, no kind of mental game at all, he simply called me on my hand. However, he didn't have enough to beat me. Kagome removed a shoe, and she watched Inuyasha with a loving gaze of amusement as he grumpily removed his haori. We looked at Sango to see what she would remove, and she pulled out a hidden package form somewhere under her yukata.

I sighed. "Sango, you can't possible think that that would constitute one article of clothing."

"But a shoe does? I maintain that it is an article of clothing, so if you want to see some skin, Miroku, you're going to have to start winning a lot more."

The next round was exactly the same. When the third round came around, it was my turn to deal. I dealt cards, dealing myself a worthless hand if there ever was one. Aces and twos were wild, and I held a black three, a red ten, a black king, a red six and a black eight. I could try going for a straight, but did I try to match the three and the six, or the six or eight, or the… well, you understand the idea.

Sango discarded only one card. Kagome discarded two, and giggled at what she got in her hand. Inuyasha grumpily discarded three, the set maximum. He cursed when he got the new cards, and glared at me. It wasn't my fault he'd gotten such bad cards!

I was starting to get a feeling for this bluffing thing with Inuyasha. The man could bluff in a fight, but in a game of cards he didn't have a poker face at all. He cursed when he got bad cards, and he cursed just as heavily when he got good cards. The only thing was, when he got good cards, he had this smile on while he swore. This time, according to my studies, he had gotten bad cards. I had also gotten bad cards.

Sango, I suspect, put on a high bet, trying to draw Inuyasha out, to make it too rich for his blood. Kagome matched and rose. Inuyasha matched and rose by three stones. I matched, but did not raise. I dealt Sango no cards, dealt Kagome one, and Inuyasha took only one. I took two new cards. I had a three, four, six, and two worthless cards.

Raising the bet again, Kagome matched it with a tiny smile. Inuyasha grumped for a moment, and then rose again by three. He held his chin proudly, and then he looked at me, wanting to know if he had made it too rich for me yet. No doubt he could feel my nervousness. I really wanted to give myself a wild card and a five.

"How's it going, Miroku?"

"Fine, thank you, Inuyasha," I cheerfully replied, studying my cards. "Do you really think that the nervousness you sense could be true, Inuyasha? I think that you have a horrible hand and that you're going to try and make it seem like you have a good one by making the pot so expensive I'll choke. I don't think that's going to work. I see your bet, and raise you three more stones. Sango, my love, a new card?" I offered her the deck with a sly and charming grin.

Her return grin was just as devious. "I don't think so, Miroku. Nothing could make me lose this new hand. I pass."

Kagome studied her hand. "You know, I'm tempted to see what Inuyasha has. One more new card." She looked up at Inuyasha. "I'm going to get you naked one way or another, Inuyasha."

I wondered what would make Kagome say such a thing before I saw that Inuyasha was discarding three cards. Wondering what he could possibly have in his hand that would warrant such an obvious bluff and then to openly discard three cards, I shrugged and gave him three new ones.

"Shit! Ah! I got rid of the wrong cards! Fuck!" He slammed down his cards on the ground and glared at Kagome. "Damn you!"

I decided to copy him and I discarded three cards, the same three cards I had wanted to use to complete a set. Luck was with me. I pulled out a wild card and two more jacks, meaning that I had five of a kind. I arched an eyebrow and looked at Sango. "Your turn."

"Thank you, I'm well aware of whose turn it is." She threw in a handful of pebbles into our growing pile. "I'm not about to lose to you, Miroku, as I already told you. I've already lost one piece of clothing, so it's time to even things out."

Kagome folded next, saying it would be more amusing to watch us try and psych each other out. She told us that in this particular version of poker, we were only allowed raising the bet a total of two more times.

Matching Sango's bet, I smiled. "Sango, you know that you aren't going to be able to psych me out, nor will I be able to do that to you. Why don't we just call it quits us and save ourselves some time by calling?"

"Agreed." She laid her cards down on the table. I found myself staring at four 5's and a wild card.

"Bitch! You stole all my fives!" I tossed my cards down on the ground. "Ah well. I guess it's a tie then."

"Actually," Kagome said, pulling off another shoe. "When it's a tie like these, they're broken by two things, to the best of my knowledge. One is whoever has the less wildcards is the winner. However, you both have one wild card. The second way is determined by the rank of cards. The highest pair or triple or whatever wins. So in this case, Miroku wins, because jacks are higher than fives." Sango looked as if she had just been let down by someone on whom she had depended. Kagome shrugged, and tossed her shoe into the pile of clothes we were making. "Sorry, Sango, that's just how the game is played." Sango removed another hidden packet.

"How many of those do you have?"

Sango grinned at me. "A lot. You'll just have to wait and see how many I actually have. I told you, you're not going to win. You have… seven pieces of clothing. I have one cat suit, a belt, a yukata, five pieces of armor, all my neat hidden things, breast band, and underwear, as well as boots and socks. So, I have to lose, excluding all the packages, about fifteen hands. You only have to lose seven."

It was her turn to deal next, and I swear that she stacked the deck. I was amazed at how well she shuffled the cards, doing it as effectively as Kagome had. She smiled as dealt and said that Kagome had taught her and Shippo how to play 'Go Fish' so that they had something to do while she was bored instead of hanging around "the lecher" and a sulking Inuyasha.

I lost that hand, and lost my shoe. Kagome, when she went for a sock, was told instead that if she took of another foot-article, Inuyasha was going to haul her off and remove her shirt for her. She proudly took off her red handkerchief and threw it at him only to have it flutter down harmlessly. Sango removed the dagger she kept under her right arm. How she was able to remove it without first taking off her cat suit, I have yet to figure out. Which means, if you're paying attention, that Inuyasha won. He had a royal flush.

That's all right, because it all came back to him in the end. He lost the next two rounds, the first one to Kagome and the second on to me. (Meaning that Kagome now had on one sock only, I was shoeless, and Sango was still removing those damn hidden weapons of hers.) At one point I looked into one and found an emergency supply of something Kagome brought from the future called "tampons"… after she explained to me what they were used for, I decided that I would not question what the rest of the bags held!

Kagome was grinning broadly when she found that Inuyasha would be forced to remove his underwear. I had never seen a woman look so eagerly happy before, and I hoped that the next time I saw such an expression, it would be on Sango. "It's all right," she told Inuyasha. "You don't have to take it off in front of everybody else. Just pick somebody and go off and do it privately, that way you don't embarrass…"

"Embarrass? Hell no!" He gripped the necklace and pulled at it tightly. "It's this or the underwear, and I completely refuse to remove _that_!"

Rather than make a big fight, I waved it away. "The necklace can count, since we're counting Sango and all of her fucking bags. Let's just pretend the necklace is gone. Aren't your bags all gone yet?"

"I think I only have one more left," she said, glancing down at her body.

Inuyasha folded his arms, and glared at Kagome. He stood up shakily. "I'm going to lose next round anyway. I should just quit now. Miroku… I'm going to be three feet away from you. If you try anything…"

Before I could defend myself, Kagome interrupted. "Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud, Inuyasha! You're not going to lose next round for certain! Once I played strip president at a party, and a girl who was in her bra and underwear for half the game ended up winning. So you might win too. But you're not going to find out if you can or not unless you stay here and fight. I mean… play."

Grumpily, he sat back down. He thought a second, and then pulled off his last article of real clothing, adding it to the pile of clothes. "Seeing as how the necklace isn't going to come off, I'll use _it_ as my last piece of clothing. Can somebody just deal?"

However, both girls were staring at Inuyasha. Kagome looked somewhat horrified, and Sango was so red I thought she might get a nosebleed. I could understand everything perfectly well. Sango, to my knowledge, had never seen males other than myself and her brother naked before. Kagome was shocked that he had done that. I gather that she wanted no more than to create some distraction to stop Inuyasha from complaining, though he has been getting better. When Inuyasha is the one who is ill, his complaining his always at its worse. Inuyasha just doesn't understand that we are trying to help him. He was also now grumpy, taking the sign that Kagome wouldn't remove the necklace for him as a sign that she didn't completely trust him. Making himself nude was a marvelous step, both for their relationship and the game. It showed Kagome that he trusted her, removing not only his armor but also anything from a personal aspect of protection. Game wise, it distracted Kagome.

After that, Inuyasha threw such determination into the game that he won every round. I tried to call his bluff, but I don't think he was lying once that whole time.

Finally, Sango had divested herself of all her hidden packages, and had removed her obi and yukata. However, she still had all her armor to go. I was clad in my pants. Sango wasn't the only one who had a few hidden things on her. I always carried money, for obvious reasons, I had extra rosary beads for my hand, and I knew that nobody was aware that the reason why my inner robe was so heavy was because I weighted it down with a few little weights. When I revealed this, I said it was to keep them from flying up and getting into my face when moving.

Yes, Inuyasha won ever one of those rounds, until Kagome was sitting there in her bra and underwear. That made Inuyasha lose his concentration completely, and once again he didn't pay attention to what cards he was handing to me, until he swore. "I gave in the wrong cards again. Okay, I lose. Let's go, Kagome."

She shook her head no. "We have to finish playing the game through."

I ended up winning. No one could beat my bluffing. Even when it appeared that I wasn't paying attention, I was. Sango made no move to try and win our rounds, she merely smiled and pulled off a knee guard or an elbow guard. She had lots of clothing to go through, while I could only loose twice more. Kagome also lost, and she was about to undo her bra when Inuyasha grabbed her arm and hauled her up. "Come on. Let's go."

"Inuyasha," she said calmly. "The whole point of going away somewhere to reveal yourself to someone means that you manage to keep some dignity, at least for Sango and myself. You've been sitting there naked for the past how long? So there's no point in going anywhere." Kagome sat back down, and in one fluid movement, she took off her bra.

Ah, Kagome's bra. Yes, I do love that particular article of clothing. Just… the way it makes breast _look_, as if they are presented on a platter for my eyes. And the simple femininity of it all! Kagome's was a fresh white color, with a little bit of lace to decorate the curves of the cup, blending in with her cool skin. Sango… I would kill to see Sango in one of those articles. A black one, to make her skin look even creamier, or maybe a pink one to match her blush, or a dark red one to give her skin some color and enhance the hue of her lips.

Sango's body interrupted my view, shocked that Kagome –sweet, innocent Kagome- would do something like expose herself to me. From the corner of my eye, I could see Inuyasha staring and covering up his nose, sniffling to keep away the coming nosebleeds.

"Kagome, what are you doing!? How can you just… just…"

She smiled at her friend. "It's simple, Sango. Inuyasha has already seen at least my upper body nude a few times, so I'm not particularly worried about him seeing anything new. As for Miroku, if he looks at me even twice, you'll… well, probably take his eyes. No offense, Sango, but that's part of why I love you. You're… my knight in shining armor."

At this, Inuyasha stopped trying to keep his nosebleed in check and seemed to ignore that Kagome was half-naked a hand's width away from him. He crossed his arms and sulked, after a moment beginning to get dressed again.

Sango slowly sat back down, ignorant to Inuyasha's resentment at his position of protector being passed to Sango. Apparently it had also been done without his knowledge. I stared at Kagome, my jaw falling open at the side of her chest. My eyes immediately went to ground, and then the male in me took over, and risked just another glance.

"Miroku!" Sango screeched, moving to hit me. "It's rude to gawk!"

Her attack was too slow, compared to demon speed. Inuyasha struck me first. While I rubbed on the bump that was growing, having received two strikes from Inuyasha, I bowed to Kagome. "I apologize. That was completely unwarranted. I ask your forgiveness." Kagome nodded, and I turned to Inuyasha, sniffling over dramatically. There was nothing like humor to ease over any given situation. "Inuyasha, you are quite a lucky man."

Sango took over dealing the cards as Inuyasha and Kagome fought in front of me, denying everything and demanding to know why I had said such a thing. Needless to say, Kagome lost the next round. Sango quickly rid herself of another piece of armor, and then she pointed to Inuyasha. "That's a bit what you look like sometimes," she whispered.

I turned to see Inuyasha sitting on his sleeping mat, staring at Kagome as she thought about who to ask for a private meeting further into the cave. Obviously he wanted and expected it to be him. His brows were narrowed slightly, his gaze centered purely on Kagome, and his gold eyes heated and unblinking. Even both his ears were angled at her.

Kagome stood up, and grabbed her clothes. "Let's go, Miroku."

Inuyasha was already standing up when he realized she hadn't said his name. She had said my name.

"M… Me?" Sango was shooting me death glares, as if this was somehow my fault. "Pardon me? Why? Wouldn't you prefer Inuyasha?"

She blushed, and did not answer the last question. "Sango and I have already seen each other naked before, and if I picked her, then I worried one of you might call it foul play. I have to be fair. So I chose you."

"Thank you, Kagome. I'm touched, but it wouldn't be proper." I turned back to Sango, and I began to deal. "So then there were two, Sango. This might go on for sometime. Are you sure that you just don't want to call it quits right now?"

"No. Deal, Miroku." She placed her elbow on her knee, and her chin in the palm of her hand. "You know, I bet I know the reason why she really chose you. I bet you that she did it because she really does want Inuyasha to see her naked, but that when she does, she wants it to be special, not from something in a game. That's why she was okay removing her bra, as she said. He's seen it all already. I hope Inuyasha will realize that."

"Was it special for you?" I casually inquired. I stopped dealing, and looked up at Sango.

"Yes. It wouldn't have happened if I weren't in love, and when you're in love, everything is special. I think that's why I, for one, will never get tired of kissing. No matter how many times you do it, it's always special." She picked up her cards and sighed. "We probably should call it quits, if you'd agree that I would win."

I shook my head. She wasn't going to win. I had the better strategy, and Sango had exhibited no strategy at all. Which is how we went through five rounds in five minutes. She just kept folding, and peeling of piece of armor after armor, never putting up a fight.

I dealt the cards again as she removed the armor around her waist. When she looked up at found me staring at her, my eyes imagining and recalling the pieces she would and already had removed for me. If only she were dancing as she did it as well. Ah, Sango dancing for me. Probably my biggest fantasy, even bigger than the one with her wearing a bra, and excluding any fantasy I had about sex with her.

She rubbed a finger against her lip, looking shy as she gazed back at me thoughtfully. "Miroku, if you really wanted me to strip for you once you're married, you need only to ask. But I get to ask the same favor of you. I think that you stripping for me would be quite arousing. In fact, once we're married…" Ah! Sango talking about marriage. Oh, be still my beating heart, before you break a rib! "Once we're married, I think that we should play something like this again. By ourselves. With lots and lots of touching." She threw down a card and took one from me, running her fingertips down the length of my fingers. A shiver ran up and down my spine. She had learned quickly at how to press my buttons so that I was putty in her hands.

I steeled myself. Her ploy wasn't going to work! It was the same ploy that Kagome had used on Inuyasha, and I was not going to fall for the same trick that had already been used. I didn't notice Sango shuffle closer as I discarded a card. "If you're trying to distract me, Sango, it's not going to have any affect. I want to win this game."

"That's what I love about you," she sighed. Sango lazily tossed in my bet and raised the stakes by two more pebbles. "You're so competitive. I wasn't joking though. I was being serious. I can already start to picture our wedding night, when I can finally get to give myself up to you. I can be laying in bed waiting for you, already deeply aroused by the thought of being with you for the first time ever. Then you'll come into our bedroom, and start taking off your clothes as you prowl closer and closer to the bed. The sight of it would make me so aroused that I'd be asking you to take me before we even got to the foreplay. After we have sex for the first time, I'll feel more adventurous, and I'd start to draw out that competitive spirit and we could start having contests to see who can last the longest."

Sango looked down at my lap and sighed. Her voice was so low that not even Inuyasha could hear her. I followed her gaze to see my pants straining. I hadn't even realized that I was starting to get an erection. "Mm, that reminds me. That thing that you did to me in the seaside village with your tongue and lips and everything. Can a woman please a man in the same manner?"

Unable to control myself once I understood what she was asking, I dropped my cards to reach across and grab her, planning on kissing her until she was sore. Well, perhaps not sore… dragging her out into the woods so we could have our way with each other. That was much better.

"Kagome?" Sango called, moving out of my grasp. "Kagome, what happens when a player drops their cards before the game can be finished?"

"Um… I don't know," Kagome admitted as she bandaged Inuyasha wounds. Apparently things were cleared up between them. "I guess, given the rules that we established, both of the players are penalized one item of clothing. After all, it could have been done on purpose so that the card dropper wouldn't lose, therefore the best course of action would be for both players to lose one article of clothing so everything is fair."

Unable to find a flaw in this logic, I stood up and took off my pants, also grabbing a book to cover up my state of arousal. Sango dealt the cards, and this time I was more wary of her plans. I refused to lose.

Wait? Why was I refusing to lose again? All of my plans had gone wrong in this game! Inuyasha wanted to kill me because Kagome had wanted to reveal herself to me, Sango was cheating me out of seeing her naked, but even if I did win, she was likely not to show me what I wanted anyway. And Inuyasha was in the room, filled with jealousy at me, and did I really want him making comments to me about Sango and her body the same way I had made remarks about Kagome to me?

Hell no!

I purposely lost the following round. There was no way that I was going to let Inuyasha see _my_ woman naked! Standing up, my previous predicament gone with the fear that Sango would refuse me the sight I had been yearning for since she brought up making out last night, I sighed. "Alright, Sango. You win."

Inuyasha merely fell off his rock. He was in shock. "S-Sango won? H-how?"

"Easy," Sango said, putting the cards back in the box. "I held out until he realized that this really is a silly game. I mean, it's a good game, it's simply that things are made more special when someone does something willingly, rather then being tricked into it. Nor, for that matter, would playing a game involving nudity and embarrassment necessarily make me more comfortable with being kissed by Miroku in public. Things like that happen on their own."

Sango put the cards in the big yellow bag and then smiled broadly. I wondered if she was going to throw on her yukata, but she suddenly grabbed my wrist and threw me over her shoulder. I was too shocked to say anything. Then again… was Sango carrying me off to have her way with me? Hell; like I'd protest that!

"Trust like that is also developed in small steps. If you'll excuse me…"

Inuyasha was staring at us with a 'what the fuck?' expression on his face. Kagome was practically peeing herself laughing. Shippo and Kirara were… well, they were being Shippo and Kirara.

"Where's she taking him?" Inuyasha demanded.

Kagome took a deep breath, holding back her laughter long enough to answer. "We found a cold spring this afternoon. With the way Miroku was getting… ah, _happy_ I bet she's going to…"

She was interrupted by a splash and screams of near pain from being thrown into cold water. Kagome fell over laughing again, Sango's voice covering the sounds as it echoed down the hallway.

"You idiot! Do you really think I wouldn't see through such a silly plan? I can't believe you… No! Don't you even think about it! Mirokuu…. Ai!" There was a second splash and soon Sango was in the cold water with me.

Then, silence.

Inuyasha crossed his arms. "Feh. _Humans_."

Kagome glared at him. "What is _that_ supposed to mean Inuyasha?"

You see, were not the only ones with problems.

* * *

AN: I had something else here originally, but after a few comments, I decided to fuck it. (Hey, I can swear... this story is rated are for the PoF's potty mouth!)

I will update two chapters on the evenings of the fourth/fifth of November. So now you guys don't have to hold your breath because you'll know when. I aim to have my 3rd essay done by then, and now that I have announced a date, I must get it done!

By the way, if you're about to ask me if this chapter was based on a picture... YES. Again, it's the **Kumo No Su** website maintained by **Mikaila**.

Sorry for stressing this and seeming rude... but I don't like repeating myself, nor do I want to have somebody accuse me of stealing ideas when I keep saying the idea is **Mikaila's** and that I have her **permission**.

Other than that, have a nice evening and I will see you in... 6-7 days.


	25. Completion

Dressing Wounds

AN: I felt compelled to update. I love updating. I think I am in a good mood because I have a study party planned, I get all of Saturday off, which I normally don't get, I am done chapter five of a textbook, and I have to reread all of Ovid's _Metamorphoses_ for an essay. Sadly, yes, that's a reason to be excited. I have a real excuse to read myths now!

And Kazaa is working! Now I can get some theme songs for my characters!! I love making those kinds of cds!

This also marks the start of my… what? 32nd story? It just goes to prove I have no life! So, bottom's up, and in the words of Canada's own Bare Naked Ladies, "thanks that was fun!"

Lily Thorne: Pep rally, eh? I'll be sure to watch out for people like you. -- Anyway, I gave you my two cents for the diseases. What do I know? I'm only a history major… I mean… aw, damn, that will only incriminate me!!

Demon Exterminator Barbie: You managed to get it printed out? ::drools:: lucky!! But I'm lucky too. My back drop (currently it's FY for some reason) is normally the reincarnation one. But nonetheless, I go there constantly and drool.

Aamalie: I decided to take your advice! Update for the hell of it! In fact, do a lot of things for the hell of it! Like… having a fox named Raccoon on my head. He keeps my head warm.

Ritsuki-chan: Nooooo! Not teen girl squad! I'm sorry, Strongbad is great and all, but there are only so many times I can stand Teen Girl Squad in one party. But I am glad that you enjoyed it.

Ninalee-chan: I'm glad you found it as comedic to read as I did to write. I distrust my own ability to make comedy. My idea of humor is dark and understated.

Jade Goddess: Part of me thinks he sees Kagome as a half-demon in her own right, at times. He certainly doesn't pick on her as much as he used to when he starts seeing how strong she is.

Siren: I enjoyed how Kagome and Inuyasha just distracted each other into losing.

NefCanuck: Wow. 18 chapters. Okay, you get a cookie for sitting so long. I can't even stand sitting through a three hour lecture. Kudos!

Queenizzay: Shippo has the right idea… now if only they would do it. Last chapter only proved that Inuyasha has no shame.

Thank you to everyone else who reviewed!

Enjoy the final chapter of 'Dressing Wounds'.

Chapter Twenty-Five: Completion

The screams cut through the thick air. Miroku and I kept on running, trying to ignore the screams of pain from Kagome and the helpless threats of Inuyasha. He waited for me to catch up, the weight of my haraikotsu starting to tire me out. Miroku took the opportunity to lean against the rock of the mountainside we were climbing. I nodded to him that I was ready to continue, and we resumed our frantic race up the mountainside.

When we reached the top, we wondered how we had ever agreed to separate our powers. Kagome lay in a pool of her own blood, Inuyasha stood in front of her to protect her, his eyes already starting to burn red even though he held his sword in his hands. Kirara stood to the other side of Naraku and his monstrous, serpentine form, leaning on her three good paws and still trying to fight. Shippo held Kagome's hand, trying to call her back to the land of the conscious, noticeable only because of the trembling of his tail.

Miroku's hand rested on my good shoulder. I stood up taller, and nodded at him. "Are you sure you can do this?" I asked, disgusted at the taste of my blood in my mouth. All he needed to do was draw in as much as Naraku as he could, so that Inuyasha could get close enough to finish him off with a sword. Of course, the original plan was for Kagome to see the shard Naraku, point it out, and we could cut it out of him before he could regenerate. As Kagome seemed currently down and out for the count, Inuyasha was probably going to resolve into hacking Naraku into small, shard-sized pieces.

The problem was this: Naraku was poisonous. He was like Sesshomaru, able to disperse poison from various centers on his body. The tentacles that kept Inuyasha from getting at the vulnerable places of Naraku's neck, stomach, and spine, had poisonous secretions on their underside.

It was Kagome's idea to try this. I can only imagine how much it hurt her to look at Miroku and know that her plan might cause his death, and then to have to look at me and know that her plan might cause the death of the man with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. We had no way of knowing how Miroku would react with the poison, but Kagome and I both suspected that they would act like the insects. Worse, a few of the insects were still around. Now that we had the antidote for them, there was little concern over the insects, only on the tentacles the kazaana meant to rip from Naraku's vile body.

How had she even come up with that plan?

-

_"Sango!"__ A tentacle wrapped around my left arm as I completed the pass on an attack against Naraku and his monstrous body. I felt a tug and then burning, but the pain cut off from me as my stomach heaved and I was ripped from Kirara's back, flying straight at a tree. I heard Miroku and Kagome cry out my name, but I didn't land in the trees. I landed on something soft, and fell to the ground with a kitsune clutched in my good arm. The smell of burning flesh reached my nose; it was my own, but I was too full of adrenaline to be able to feel the pain right now._

_ "Thank you, Shippo," he said, leaving him to hide and recover from using his powers, allowing him to wait until he would be needed again. More than once the little kitsune had been our secret weapon, and even Inuyasha had decided not to pick on him. The hanyou's generosity seemed to have been appreciated, as Inuyasha was the first one Shippo had kindly caught from striking the forest behind us or the cliffs in front of us._

_ "Kaze no Kizu!" The attack bounced off of Naraku's shelled body. Miroku stood beside him, further off, fighting away more tentacles, and Kagome hung back, an arrow notched and waiting for a good shot; she only had so many arrows. _

_ "Very well," I heard Miroku's deep voice say, as Kirara took into the air. I was doing the aerial attacks. "It's time I use…"_

_ "Don't!" Kagome ran to him and snatched his arm before he could pull off the prayer beads. His eyes widened in surprise, and Inuyasha yelled something about breaking his hand if Miroku tried to grab Kagome. I ignored them, trying to fight Naraku as I let the haraikotsu fly, but I could still hear them, still see them from the corner of my eye. Kagome stared up at him, looking like she was ready to cry. She threw a rock into the forest, where we heard Naraku's poisonous insects hover before settling again. _

_ Miroku shook his head. "But we have the antidote for them. I'm not afraid of enduring a little pain if…"_

_ "Naraku himself _is_ poison!" I shouted, unable to stay out of the conversation. I gasped in surprise when Naraku went for Shippo out of nowhere, a shower of small rocks flying into the air, kicked up by his sudden movement. They struck my body, my face, my cat… I ignored them. "Shippo!"_

_ Miroku moved, Kagome firing the arrow in her hand. It flew as Miroku grabbed Shippo, holding the small demon against his chest and turning his back on the sharpened talon racing towards them. Naraku was a writing mass of odds and ends, each piece more ferocious and menacing than the last. Kagome's arrow struck, tearing through the talon and taking a tentacle out with it. The pieces blew apart, pieces of flesh and globules of blood striking Miroku and starting to burn little holes through his kesa._

_ It was chaos, complete and total chaos. Inuyasha was the only one fairing well, but he was the only one fighting a one sided battle, and the one getting the least attention from Naraku. Maybe he wanted to take Shippo out first because he was weak; maybe he wanted to take Miroku out because he knew how much damage the kazaana would do; maybe he wanted to remove Kirara and I from battle because he was pissed that we had saved Kohaku, but for whatever reason, we seemed to be drawing his attention._

_ Then the world turned into chaos when he struck Kirara from behind. I heard the snapping of her bones and we flew straight into the ground. My ankle twisted as I landed, and I winced in pain. That one I had felt, no matter how battle-ready I was. I looked at Kirara, who stood in front of me, trying to protect me from Naraku, who now seemed to be throwing his concentration of Inuyasha._

_ Inuyasha was loudly taunting him, calling his names, and striking whenever he had the chance. The scales which had been able to defend against Miroku's staff were sliced by the Tetsusaiga. _

_Kagome and Miroku came up behind us, Kagome immediately grabbing her first aid kit and trying to see to my arm.__ I shook my head. "Kirara first. I can surive."_

_My friend sighed and looked at us. She looked at the battle, where it sounded like Inuyasha was having a lot of fun, instead of fighting his greatest enemy. Her expression softened. "Naraku," she noted, "for all we attack at different angles, is still only fighting a one sided battle. He never turns his back to us, do you notice that? The shard he has… it's in his chest, right here," she placed her hand over the place where her ribs met, "but he never turns his back to us."_

_We both understood what she was insinuating. "It's because his back is his weak spot," we said in unison, and a hint of a smile passed across our pained faces._

_She nodded. "His back is his weak spot. We need to attack from behind, and to get behind, we need to get up on that cliff. Kirara can't take you anymore, not with her leg broken like this. But Miroku-sama, and you, Sango-chan, you two could."_

_We nodded. Miroku appeared interested, but I was worried. I had seen Kagome wear this expression before, often after Inuyasha had done something and she had sat him out of anger rather than necessity. I knew what she was going to ask, and I opened my mouth, about to protest, but I shut it. It wasn't my place to protest._

_And so Kagome had looked at Miroku, and told him of her plan._

-

We stood at the top of the cliff, Naraku ignorant to our presence. The win howled around us, and it made me cold. My hair hurt as it struck my cheek, my teeth wanted to start chattering when I imagined what it would be like to feel that strong wind coming from Miroku. I felt like a block of ice. But what was I doing? Mourning before Miroku was already dead? I stiffened, and tried to stand up a little straighter.

Miroku looked down at me, and I saw some part deep within him try to smile at me. The fact that he was so worried bothered me. I needed him to smile at me, to tease me so that I can smile and make him feel proud that he was the one person who had gotten me to lighten up and be happy. "I look forward to the irony that the power he gave me will help kill him."

Understanding, I nodded, and patted one of my hidden pouches to make sure the antidote I carried was still safe. I then patted the hand still lying on my shoulder. He took his hand back and gripped the beads of the necklace surrounding his right hand. I drew the haraikotsu and pretended not to notice how he hesitated at opening the wind-tunnel. Saying anything would only have made him feel self-conscious. Besides, what could I say that would not have made it sound like I was saying goodbye to him?

I wrapped my arms around him, the haraikotsu in front of him, protecting him from any attack that might come his way and somehow avoid the kazaana.

He was ready. He ripped the beads away, the tiny pale orbs flying everyway. The kazaana lashed open, causing even my hair to whirl about. The wind I had felt before melded with Miroku's kazaana. The sound of Miroku's robes slapping against his legs made the sounds of the battle below fade away, until a moment later a buzzing sound filled the air and the remaining insects that had not been killed by Inuyasha's wind scars threw themselves into the vortex. They were followed by the sound of Naraku's howl when his tentacles began to shake, being ripped off at the joints by Miroku's wind-tunnel.

Naraku turned to the new threat, exposing his back to Inuyasha. As Inuyasha lunged for it, it appeared as though our plan would have worked. However, Naraku had erected a barrier, one of the ones that he was famous for. Only he could open it up to allow someone to get close. A priestess could also break it, but Kagome was still solidly out.

Laughing, Naraku increased his mass, adding more tentacles and more poison for Miroku to absorb. Looking at Miroku, I was entranced by the intense concentration on his face. I wished I could have helped him, lend him my strength, but I was only there for the back up. Inuyasha had his sword, Miroku the wind-tunnel, Kagome the powers of a priestess, I was the only one without some kind of super-human ability. I had my haraikotsu, and my sword, and tricks up my sleeve, and nothing else. I was there only to watch their backs, to protect them while they took down all the big fish.

If only I could help him!

Miroku began to sway. He leaned heavily against me, his arm shaking as he held it out, still trying to absorb more. Naraku's huge bulk hid Kagome and Inuyasha from our sight. Miroku began to lose his ground, falling back with each ounce of poison he absorbed. Still, Naraku cackled. Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I told him to close it, to relax and let me take over.

Stubborn as ever, he shook his head. That's when I realized _why_ he had ripped the rosary away. This was the end for him. Miroku was planning on either taking Naraku with him, or dying. His rosary was broken, and rather than draw out another one, he told me to hold him up, and he would continue to take in as much as he could, until he lost consciousness, in an attempt to weaken Naraku by making him run out of energy.

He had to be planning on winning then! He wouldn't have destroyed his rosary and opened the wind tunnel if his friends might be taken into it as well! Tears stung my eyes, and I doubt my voice could be hurt against the wind that rushed by us. My ankle throbbed as I tried to keep supporting Miroku.

I shook my head. "Miroku, we're already down a fighter. Don't weaken us by one more." My hands moved down his body, trying to find the hidden pocket in which he kept extra beads.

The woman in me… no. Not 'the woman'. Who says the part of me that cries, the part of me that grows sad I think of losing somebody I care for is the feminine side? No, it is the part of me that loved Miroku, the part of me that knew he had purposefully destroyed the prayer beads so that he could not stop taking in things through his right hand, the part of me that knew part of him expected to die in this battle, _that_ part of me wanted to cry. The fighter in me told me to wait till a later time; tears in a battle were a foolish idea as they clouded your vision and one needed to be able to see in a fight.

The fighter won out, as I have been a fighter longer than I have been in love with Miroku. I suppose that I will always be a fighter first.

Tightening my grip around him, I knelt down to my knees, steadying him in my lap. He sagged against me, a terrifying amount of weight. I couldn't see his face, and the only way I knew for certain that he was still alive was the fact that the kazaana was still going strong. His other hand covered mine, and his breathing quickly grew labored.

"Sango," he said after a moment, Naraku's insane cackling nearly hiding his quiet voice. I treasured the way he said my name. It was so soft, so gentle, as if saying it too strongly would frighten me away. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on his shoulder as I continued to hold him, coming to the conclusion that he had no more prayer beads on him.

"I'm here," I comforted, holding him tighter.

"I can… I can't do it anymore. Lay me on the ground, and stay to my left. Give me a little time to recover, and I'll be able to help more… in a little while."

Nodding, I picked up my haraikotsu and laid Miroku on the ground. His kazaana pointed at the sky, taking in naught but harmless leaves, so long as he remained conscious and directed where his hand was going. I began climbing back down to the ground thinking of only one thing. Take down Naraku, and then go and help Miroku. If we kill Naraku, then the wind-tunnel will close, and we won't need to rush and try to find beads to wrap up his hand again.

Once again standing on flat ground, I closed in on the fight scene, and drew my sword with my right hand. I swung the haraikotsu over my shoulder. I wanted a direct fight. I let the anger in me explode. "Naraku!" His name drew his attention from closing in on Kagome and Inuyasha, who continued to stand over her. Inuyasha was covered in his own blood, the sword stuck in the ground, helping to protect Kagome from Naraku. Naraku turned on me.

He smiled. Naraku, oddly, was a fairly beautiful man. I always assumed that it was because he was a demon, possessing the same ethereal beauty that Sesshomaru did. His smile, however, was truly twisted, and the easiness of his voice was deceptive. "Ah, the slayer. I was wondering when you were going to rear your head." He slithered over in my direction. "I take it this means that it's your turn to try and take me on. What's the matter, Sango? You have your brother back, much to my regret. Is it revenge for the death of the monk that you now seek, slayer?"

"Sango! What are you doing?" I ignored Inuyasha, and soon Naraku once again blocked the view of everything else.

It didn't matter. Inuyasha could protect Kagome and Shippo. So long as I could see the sky and see the leaves whipping around the cliff beside me, I would know that Miroku was all right, and I was happy.

I gripped the sword tighter, and threw the haraikotsu wide, wanting only to startle Naraku. It did the trick. The anger I felt was small and compact, filling my stomach and warming me. It was as concentrated as my intent.

I was going to kill Naraku.

He lunged for me, and I blocked with my haraikotsu, my sword free to slash at the limbs and tentacles, hands and paws that came my way, sneaking around the boomerang. Acidic blood splashed and burned on my exposed skin. I ignored it, fighting through he stings of pain, desiring to see more than a few drops of blood fly from Naraku.

Pressing him out of the way, my sword danced forward swiftly, aiming for his neck. He avoided me, and a large paw smacked my body, sending me flying into a tree. The pain of me smacking against the tree made white lightning flare against my eyes. As I shook it away, a tentacle wrapped around my foot. I cried in pain, my sprained ankle snapping in his tight grip. The poison, the acidity of it, began to eat away at my boot, but I didn't have to worry about it for very long as he threw me into the same cliff that Miroku lay on. This time I struck my head, it hurt like hell, even though I had been trained to deal with just about anything until after the battle was over.

Dizziness washed over me. I struggled to get up. I needed to kill him! Spitting blood from my mouth, I leaned on my weapons to stand up, and went back to using my boomerang as a shield. I _would_ take Naraku down!

I thought of Miroku, I thought of my brother, I thought of everyone that Naraku had hurt and everyone I cared for, and I chose my path to attack. I'd throw my haraikotsu at him, and when he was swatting it away from his monstrous body, I'd lunge for him. I'd pierce his heart with my sword, and cut it out of his fucking body.

I hurt. I was in pain. I didn't fucking care anymore. It was stupid, and reckless, and I didn't care. I just wanted him to pay. I wanted him to pay for everything.

I. Hate. Naraku!

Yes, yes cut out his heart! Make him pay!

I rose to my feet, feeling sticky blood trickle down the back of my neck. I pushed away the nausea and the dizziness, and I lunged, angling my sword straight for his heart. I let out a roar as I charged, and I said the last thing I ever thought I would say.

"I'm not going to let you take Miroku!!"

I never made it that far.

I placed my bad foot firmly on the ground, and stumbled, when suddenly a bright, pink light filled the air. Everything was silent. Then, without warning, an arrow pierced through the heart I had been aiming for, and bounced off the rocks behind me in a blazing trail of light.

As if it were corrosive, the wound spread, burning and purifying Naraku from the inside up. Through his chest I saw a bleeding Kagome holding her bow, Inuyasha's hands on hers, his arms wrapped around hers and his body against hers to steady the weapon and aim for Naraku. I nodded to them as Naraku crumbled to dust in front of us.

The Shikon no Tama, completed from being inside the body of a demon, fell to the ground with the gentle sound of a single, falling, perfect gem.

The wind blew, and his ashes scattered in the breeze. I wondered if part of that breeze was natural, or if it were something that had come from somewhere in Kagura's direction.

It took a moment for it to really sink in, as Kirara limped towards me to make sure I was alright. Though my wounds hurt at the time, they suddenly didn't hurt at all as we all realized what it was.

It was over.

It was all over.

Naraku was dead, and the jewel was whole. Naraku was dead! Years of pain, years of hunting, hundreds of deaths, hundreds of wounds, and it was _finally over_!

Shippo started it all, flinging himself at Inuyasha of all people, and hugging him fiercely. "Inuyasha! I was so scared when Kagome wouldn't wake up!"

After that it was a flurry of activity. I kissed Kirara, who roared and licked my cheek, her fur looking glossier and her ears instantly looking perkier. Kagome struggled up, and Inuyasha helped her up the rest of the way, holding her against his chest to help her stand. Inuyasha's free hand brushed Shippo's hair, reassuring the tiny demon who now snuggled between them both, happy and warmed by the protectiveness of someone whom he had always loved, and a man who he had always respected, deep down inside.

'Miroku.'

I slipped away from them, and struggled to run up the cliff. Or I tried to. Sadly, I still couldn't see that well from the hit I had gotten on my head. Blood coated half my vision. I slipped and slid all the way up to the top of the cliff side, tears running down my cheeks from the pain of my ankle and from fear.

The wind had stopped. The leaves that had been caught in the air were still falling like snowflakes around Shippo, Kagome, and Inuyasha. But had it been too late? Had the whole really vanished, or would I arrive at the top of the cliff only to find a crater, and no sign left of the man I had loved?

I arrived to find Miroku standing. His clothes were damp from exertion, and he swayed about as much as I did. The wind that had previously howled around us had died down. I cautiously approached him, worried about what I would find.

"Miroku?"

He turned to face me, and there was such happiness in his eyes that I even forgot that I was dizzy. The expression took my breath away. In all the time I had known Miroku, in all the smiles he had given me and all the rapturous looks I had seen on his face when he groped me, I had never seen anything so earnest or beautiful in my life. In one single moment, he had gotten a future, a life, and revenge. He held out his hand, and I didn't need to see it to know that it was whole. His eyes told me everything I needed to know.

Rushing forward, I threw my arms around his neck and drew myself up to his level. I pressed my lips against his, and he kissed me back, sharing in a happiness, a passion, I had never known before. His tongue slowly pressed into my mouth, running along the roof of my mouth, as my lips ran against his. His fully formed hand pressed itself against me, and he moaned in happiness, my hand running down the sides of his cheeks and my body pressing against his, trying to drown myself in his very presence, in everything about him that I had grown to love.

His hands wrapped around me, only briefly, and he pulled me back down so that he could look at me. Our chests scraped against one another as we stared into each other's eyes. I was surprised I still had the blood with which I could blush under his steady gaze. Chills ran through my body when he pressed his healed hand against my cheek. He thumb brushed away my tears and my blood, and his expression softened for a moment.

"Sango… now that I can offer you a lifetime… marry me."

My fingertips shook as I nodded vigorously. "I already told you that I would."

Miroku laughed—it was such a wonderful sound—and grabbed me again, hugging me so tightly that if I hadn't been deliriously happy, I would have been hurt. For a brief moment before he had hugged me, I had seen his face. He looked as happy as he had when I had been about to ask him if the kazaana was still open. The defeat of Naraku may have given him back his future, but when I saw his face I knew that the reason why he was so happy was because _I_ was his future.

Looking down, I saw the others looking up at us, smiling. Inuyasha had his arm wrapped around Kagome, who leaned on him for support, and Shippo sat precariously on Inuyasha's other shoulder. We smiled back down at them and waved.

Turning back up to Miroku, I placed my hands against Miroku's cheeks, and I pulled him down to kiss him, causing my other friends to laugh at his expression, which was so shocked even they could see it. I pressed my lips against his, and he immediately responded. His hands moved up first to wind around in my hair, but when he accidentally touched the wound on my head, I whimpered and his hands instead slid down to my waist. He tried to draw away, but I wouldn't let him, and I kissed him with all the passion I could muster. Miroku eagerly responded, and he suddenly didn't feel like saying anything. My leg gave out and we collapsed, laughing and kissing in happiness, sharing as long as we could in one moment of perfect joy and freedom, our pain and wounds forgotten in the spirit of the moment.

Our friends were staring at us, but I suddenly didn't care. I wanted to be with Miroku; I loved Miroku, and I would let everyone I met know that I had found my perfect match. What they thought was meaningless. What was _not_ meaningless was the fact that at that very moment, I was with the man I loved, and we were kissing each other, and we had forever at our fingertips.

Finally, we stopped, and Miroku picked me up in his arms, cradling me against him. I felt like a princess in his arms, as well as a warrior as I held my sword to my chest and clung to him with my good arm. He smiled at me charmingly, and this time when he said my name, it _was_ in a strong voice, and had been soft, I would have kissed him again and showed him that I was no longer some princess to be courted with soft caresses and pussy-footing. I was his sensei, his bride, his partner, and his lover and nothing he would ever do would scare me away or make me nervous or doubtful of his intentions.

But I would still blush.

Just for him.

"Come on, Sango. Let's go get those wounds cleaned."

To keep an eye on him, and the poison that didn't seem to be affecting him at all, I slept beside him that night, under a single blanket.

It wouldn't be the first night that I did that, or the last.

I didn't even mind it when he groped me.

-

::hands out the tissues::

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and the encouragement you gave to me in writing this. Hopefully you will all enjoy the sequel ('Complete and Unconditional') just as much. Now, if nobody minds, please pass the Kleenexes this way. I never thought I would be so sad to see a story finish.

P.S. What? Did you all really think I would actually wait to get reviews before I posted? ::pretends to be hurt:: Does no one here really know me? But I surprised you, didn't I? -

Love,

The Personification of Fluff


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